Developing feelings problems



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 2:23 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:24 am
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So a few months ago I moved to a completely new city where I only knew one friend who had been there for years. I had a job where a lot of different employees interact. Since I've been here, I've had a quick 1-2 week fling with a hb8 that I work with and we fucked about 5 times, she ended up wanting me back and periodically told me. I also got a BJ from a hb8 I met at a bar in her hotel room after the bar closed. Then I started hanging out with another girl from work. She is only a hb7 and I kissed her twice and we made out once. I tried to pursue but she made it difficult, she was always busy and slowed down texting. Then I found out she's into at least 2 other guys and could possibly be sleeping with 1 of them. I rarely chase girls but when I do it's only slightly and because I've developed feelings. Then when I chase even if only a little I look needy and lose the girl completely. That's what's happened with this girl. I need help breaking this habit because it has happened a few times. First of all, what's my best approach to get this girl to want me again? 2nd of all, what's my best approach in the future when a girl I've developed feelings for starts to distance herself?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 1:19 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 6:43 am
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Without details, it's hard to say what to do next. If she's already seeing 2 other guys and giving you the cold shoulder, it sounds like she's got a full plate and isn't taking any other love interests. At this point, you're sort of letting yourself be strung along. Most PUA's are going to tell you to leave the door open, but turn your attention elsewhere.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 9:01 pm 
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Well she's definitely not giving me the cold shoulder. She initiates conversations at work sometimes. Shes texted me when ive told her to call me after work. But she used to flirt more and text more months ago when we kissed and made out. About the other 2 guys shes interested in, one is her ex and the other is a younger guy than me. I only know about them through others telling me, never seen for myself. Right now I'm trying to DHV and Im going to stop trying to hang out with her until I see some stronger signs of interest. This is a sticking point for me so any advice for future girls I develope feelings for?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 10:41 pm 
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It sounds like you're on the right track. It's fine to develop feelings for a girl, but when you start fixating and she's already shown she's not that into you, it's a problem. There's no reason you can't keep hanging out with her if you're having a good time and on your game. You should pull back and wait for her to get in touch with you if you're putting in all the effort. In the mean time, seriously spend your time with another girl or your friends.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 1:54 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:24 am
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Ill try and give you a rundown of my relationship with this girl:

Day 1: She comes to hang out with common friends at a bar and I was extremely fun talking to her occasionally with some small kino moves

Next day: She comes to hang out again with common friends, small kino, bought her a drink, walked her to her car

3 days later: See each other at work, she starts approaching me saying we had fun together the nights we hung out, I get her number and tell her we'll hang again

2 days later: Met her out at a bar when she was with her friend and her friends bf, not much kino, a little bit of a boring night but ended the night with a quick kiss. Then she texts me when she gets home saying she wants more kisses. I told her me too and we should do something fun tomorrow

Next day: I met her and her friends out at a bar and had my hands all over her, back rubs, waist grabbing, arms around each other, ended the night with an awesome make out session, afterwards she tells me I'm a real good kisser.

3 days later: I tell her we need to hang out again and mentioned hanging out tonight, she was very responsive but said she was watching a movie and she would text me later but never did.

2 days later: I tried making plans again but she was busy and mentioned going out just the two of us 5 days later

5 days later: Take her out to mini golf, ice cream, and the bar. Some kino but nothing serious, by the end of the date she was yawning and texting a lot. When I drop her off she was quick to leave the car so I said "wait, can't I kiss you goodnight?" She stares at me briefly then quickly gave me a peck on the lips and left. (I already know about all my mistakes on that date)

During the next month and a half I occasionally tried telling her we should hang but we never did, partially due to each of us taking vacations and having different work hours. Our flirting at work starts decreasing.

Then one day I approach her at work saying we should hang out again. She says, "yea we should! where have you been?" I told her I was out of town for a while and have been working long hours. I tried making plans for the weekend but she was going to an out of town concert and wasn't free.

10 days later: At work I see her and say "When are we gonna hang out?" She replies with, "Whenever you want man" So I said, whenever I want? I say tomorrow" She says she has to work but afterwards we can go for pizza.

Next day: We both end up working very late so at work I said, "We should just hang out another day" She seemed slightly disappointed so I said, "well I dunno I'll leave the ball in your court" She says, "no you tell me"
So I told her to just call me after work, she never did.

2 days later: I call her randomly, she doesn't answer but texts me 10 minutes later. I tell her to come meet me out but get no response after that.

2 days later: I text her to meet me out but she was at work and by the time she got out she texted me asking if I was still out but I was in bed and didn't respond.

3 days later: I speak with her at work and find out we both will be going out that night for my housemates birthday. She even tells me she'll call me after work, she ends up texting instead. At the bar we were with a big group of people and I only talked to her a few times during the night. This was partially because her and her ex were hanging together a lot and I was really wasted having fun with the guys. I end up going home and passing out, turns out everyone came over to my place and kept partying all night. I find out the next day that she was hanging around her ex and got a ride home from a different guy who someone told me she's interested in. I looked like a pussy for passing out early

7 days later brings us to today. We've only had small encounters with each other at work and I stopped flirting.


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