im starting to loose my faith here. but we've all been here before. are all girls that do ONS's not relationship material? ive seen so many lads come here trying to convert SNL's Club girls into girlfriends etc. is there even a real point?

the reason i say this is ive Fclosed a girl recently, that ive wanted for sometime. No Condom, next to no game needed, she cant be that much of a catch if shes out there giving it up easy now can she?

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Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Such girls are tricky when it comes to commitment in the long run. I never thought I'll have to put up with one.
Or others before were smart and didn't admit things like ONS's.
Yes I think its a bit slutty, or however you wanna call it. Because many women I know or girlfriends of my close friends, are definitely NOT like that. Many women that I've met would never even consider one nighters, uncontrolled situations, or any similar risky behaviour. But then again, some are prone to it. Such categories, types of characters, thus red flags really do exist.

So its fucked up when it comes to a supposed 'girlfriend'.

Touche! well, shes probably got Buyers remorse on me. its my 1st HB9 and for a second, it seemed that seeing that we are both parents, and we really hit it off, a relationship was on the cards. come to think of it shes just come out of a relationship, and so have i. and there's a massive 10 year gap between us. shes 19! the funny thing is i met her last year and we lost each-others numbers twice and even then the conversation fizzle, yet fast forward 9 months, we F closed! so in this light is it best to next?

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Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Why would you judge a woman so negatively for sleeping with you quickly and with little effort? You're fucking her too.

A woman's sexual history and promiscuity don't make her a bad person whatsoever, and neither do they stop her from being a committed girlfriend in all instances. A friend of mine met her current boyfriend by going back to his place whilst drunk on a night out.

I just find slutshaming to be pathetic, hypocritical and narrow-minded. It's not the 1950's anymore.

Oh, and don't listen to girls who say "Oh, I would NEVER have a one night stand!" They are usually extremely quick to get into bed with you. But like I say, it doesn't matter.

My case was inverse. Say, HB9. She wanted to wait 1 month when we were dating. But had drunk ONS back before we met. And never real commitment yet. She's also young and our age gap is 6 years. So now she didn't want to come off as 'easy' with me, or whatever her motives are. I'm still in this relationship but starting to get confused and analytical, likewise I really can't give you a definite advice to next your HB. If you care enough, risk and see if she's worth.

But, yeah, a lots of bad experiences could've been avoided by listening to your own judgement about these things.
If it looks like a dog, walks like a dog and barks like a dog, then it's a dog. In other words, don't available informations and facts into logical conclusions and you're burned fast. Once honeymoon is over, she'll be back to her old self.

I strive by myself taking a huge risk to attach with a girl with no prior relationship experience, speculative and not yet defined behaviour pattern, who just started living. And I'm just old enough and not in the mood to mess around anymore.

So you're asking if a 19 yr old you you fucked on the first night in a club raw is long term material? No.

No slut shaming here, just common sense.

Not in all instances, but those other instances are usually reduced to "stories from neighbourhood". If they do change behaviour, settle and commit, it must be when biological clock starts ticking, at older age, but even then they do crap, statistics are clear on this matter and available everywhere.

There is very, very low probability for a young girl who started behaving slutty or promiscuous to suddenly stop over night. They do involve themselves in commitments, but that will usually be in a row.

So I understand anyone who raises concerns about this, and its smart to do some thinking before acting like a completely naive White Knight.

For fucks sake, potential partners are people who will play important role in someone's (period of) life, how to choose carefully other than based on some standards. What other criteria really exists other than this?

No need to go further, but let me just specify good examples:
- she drinks and smokes from early age, maybe tried drug or two, wears anything that shows more than conceals, talks easily about sexual stuff around, had one or more kinky experience, history of successful commitments is blank, unknown, doesn't exist. But that person could be intelligent and posses qualities. However, how can you equally credit person A with few or all of the afore mentioned characteristics, and person B with none. Person A simply can't be more reliable than person B.

This.

I'd appreciate if you offer me opinion as well.

Mine had similar drunk experience before she was 18. She wasn't going consciously or expecting it, the circumstances were initiated by her slutty friends. Now, at 18, she's in relationship with me few months already. Do you think this is fighting against windmills?

It depends on what behavior the girl is recently engaging in. If she's in ONS phase, and you wife her, it's gonna be tough. If she's past that then things are easier. I like your point about criteria.

When choosing someone make sure your 100% sure of them. No texting other guys, going out to get drunk chicks and girls with ex drama.

the only reason i ask this is because she was interested in me from the go. 1st night we met, i pushed for a pash, but she wasnt keen i then changed subjects and lead the chat about our kids. i get the vibe shes after a single dad that's capable of holding a family together. but being a model and being chased by other singledads/chauds that wanna slam her for a ONS and ditch because of all the baby momma drama shes on the fence about a relationship. She even said that shes not ready for a relationship but that might be a defence mechanism triggered by me stating that im not after anything serious.


She does have ex drama. Seen some stuff on her facebook. And since the ONS she didn’t even bother returning my texts. Im only bummed coz looks wise she ticked all my boxes. Best to let this lead die or just freezout and let her initiate if shes interested again? What are the chances of that ever happening?!

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Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Agreed. However, things like, going out with girls... It's touchy. Definitely you can't ban your girl from going out with her girls when you start dating. I can't see a big deal if she goes out without you to some work function at some pub at some point down the line. However, if you're living together and she's going out to clubs and drinking without you, that's an issue. I've dealt with this ad nauseum in the past, and its just not something that has an easy answer... Either way, expect the word "controlling" to be thrown around like its the new yolo. Good luck mate.

If she's not responding to your texts, do what I do. Memorize the last 4 digits of her phone number (but not the first 3), and delete her from your contacts/logs/texts. Done. If she comes back, you can go at it again, but this way you will never have the option of contacting her again out of weakness.

The bolded is the major problem with most guys. She's hot that makes you think relationship. When most guys into pickup get with the hottest girl they have, they usually immediately try to wife her. It's needy and desperate. Even if the girl is perfect, you're starting off from a place of wanting to keep her and making it work with her. Eventually this neediness will appear and she'll leave.

How could you even THINK abt a relationship so soon.

Oh, and zmb, I understand what you're saying. Didnt mean it as girls going out with friends is bad. Just that if she's a party girl who enjoys getting drunk while in a relationship its a red flag.

In my experience all chicks that I've laid within 2 days are not relationship material. I think some of that is how I judge them though although I have high confidence in my game I'm not stupid and I know if I can get it that easy then so have many other guys and I'd rather not be with a chick long term whose been banged out.

That's in her past, and was only once, though its not so distant past from the point before we met.

And she does posses most characteristics from my example list - "the person A". However I haven't seen her go into extremes since we're together. She did go out drinking recently, one time at occasion, and maybe few times in initial dating, but I don't know her friends, nor she knows mine. I don't feel the need to, though. Also, I'm not feeling possesive about it, but if at one point it goes to extremes, then I know from past experience, that girl is prone to risk things. For example, she mentioned not being able to find pleasure anymore in getting drunk at all, contradicting herself by doing it anyway in very rare instances.

One more thing - while some girls, lets call them "players", HAVE TO go out and party at young age (like its some kind of imperative, and because 'everyone' does, it must be "normal" ) like some dissipated men full of testosterone would, there are classy girls who never or rarely waste their time by loosing control, because quality women resonate with quality interests in their life. Former are under the complete influence of boorish western braindead zombie society. So that's another answer to the topic.

Now, in my case, we shall see what happens after honeymoon chemicals wear off, if then she goes back to something hidden in past, or begins to gradually increase that sort of needs.

But what to do if she maybe acted the substance and acted classy in initial stage to impress you, but shows typical female trait or two in time? I guess you monitor, but if she finally gives away some red flags, how to be clear about what to do when they come into play? (ie you can't prove cheating, though some of the flags are present, like hanging with female friend nights out that is a bit of a freak - ex drama?)

How do you know for sure that recent behaviour is consistent, if there appears, say, at least one sign from past behaviour?