Wednesday

We had another snowstorm last night, but it didn't end up being as much as they were calling for. Thinking the roads were going to be bad and perhaps the school might even be closed, I slept in intentionally. I didn't go in for my first class, but I got up and I took a later bus and got there in time for my second class.

I had an opportunity or two to approach a couple of girls that were sitting on a bench, but I kind of pussed out and kept walking. That's another area that I need to improve on. I have to act on those opportunities right away.

While I was waiting for the bus, I did manage one approach. I saw this girl sitting on these couch seats, so I sat on the seat next to her a few feet away. I got out my book, and just started looking it over for a minute or two. After that, I glanced over at her, and did my "hey, did you take xxxx class last year" opener. She was pretty nice, and we talked for about 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, she wasn't all that great looking after I started to talk to her and got a better look at her. Her face was kind of beat, and she was a little thicker than I normally like. So we had a nice chat and when she was packing up to leave, I just let her go without going for the number or anything.

And that was about it for the day. It was a pretty short day, and I wasn't there for too long. But, I was still happy that I managed to do an approach and had a nice conversation.

General Thoughts

Not a whole lot to say today really, but I'll mention one thing that I need to work on. Too often I'll see a girl sitting on a bench, but I don't sit down right away. Sometimes I'll come around a corner, and I'll see a chick on a bench, but I keep walking because I'm not psyched up or ready to do the approach. I don't do that all the time, and sometimes I do see a girl and just sit down right away, but in general I need to be more spontaneous with things like that.

Instead, what I'll sometimes do if I'm faced with a situation like that is if I see a chick, I'll pass by her and come back to that area a few minutes later and sit down. Too often I've found, and this happened today, is that after I pass by and walk back to where she was, she's gone. So my waiting and screwing around by doing a lap and then come back to where she was is costing me a potential approach.

A nice looking blonde chick and I made brief eye contact today as I came around the corner and saw her on the bench. But because I wasn't 'ready' in the split second I had to make the decision to sit down and talk to her, I walked by and when I came back with the intention to sit down, she was gone.

So the bottom line is that I have to get it into my head that I have to approach right away. I can't just keep walking by and come back 5 minutes later and do it. I guess the old '3 second rule' is something I should keep in mind.

Thursday

Well I made 3 approaches today, but they went nowhere at all.

I approached 2 Asian chicks and one skinny white chick.

First Asian:

She was sitting on a bench, so I sat at the one beside her and after a minute or so I did my "hey, were you in xxxx class last year", or something like that. She was pretty young, seemed kind of shy, and I didn't get much of a vibe that she was into talking after we went back and forth for a few sentences. So I just let it die. And it was just as well, because a minute later her friend/bf came up to the bench and they both took off.

Skinny white chick:

I've described this area before as a bunch of couches in a cluster-like formation. Anyways, what's difficult about this spot in a way is that depending on how people are arranged, someone can be sitting basically a foot away from you, so there is hardly any privacy for a conversation at all sometimes.

This chick was sitting to my right, and this other blonde chick that was fairly cute was on my left. Well I chose the skinny one with the kinda dyed red hair, at least that's the way I remember it. Again, I did my "hey, were you in xxxx class" thing, and she didn't seem like she was interested at all. Before I was barely done saying what I was saying, she was already looking back down at her phone and about to put her earpiece back in. I just left it. Her body was nice, but her face was kind of beat. Anyways, I didn't get a very positive vibe from that one, so that was it. The one thing that I came away kind of happy about that interaction was because I opened and talked to her where other people could hear me if they gave a fuck enough to listen. And that's another one of the things that I'm trying to work on, so that was good even though it didn't work out.

Now, the third approach:

Asian girl:

This girl was sitting alone on a bench, so as I came up to the bench I did my "hey, I'm gonna share this bench with you for a minute" thing. I think she uttered a slight sound and moved over slightly.

A minute or two later I asked her if she was in xxxxx class, but she said no. Now this one was one of the more shitty and/or rude reactions that I've got lately. She barely gave me eye contact at all. If I had to describe her demeanour and facial expression, it would be a combination of scared shitless, shy, not interested, and didn't want to be bothered. Well obviously I left that one alone pretty much after a sentence or two.

So that was about it for the day. Kind of a bad day as far as approaches go in the sense that none of them were positive. But I left the school still feeling good because at least I tried. And I remember saying this about a week or two ago, but I'd rather come home with nothing because I got rejected than come home with nothing because I didn't even try.

General Thoughts

Well not too much to say today really. But I was glad that I tried today, even though things didn't work out. In some ways, that type of 'rejection' doesn't bother me that much, so maybe I make it out to be a bigger deal in my head than it really is. I'm not sure, but besides a chick that wants to be a really rude c*nt on purpose, the type of 'rejection' that I got today is probably around the worst that I can expect. A chick that mutters a word or two with hardly any eye contact and seems disinterested is probably going to be about as bad as it gets when I open the way that I do. Big deal, I can handle that. So that should tell me to get out there more and try even harder, because that's fuck all what I dealt with today. Water off a duck's back.

Hopefully I'll get out this weekend for some night game. An older buddy of mine recently got divorced and he's moving into an apartment over the weekend, so I told him I'd help him move some shit. That shouldn't interrupt anything though, as it's probably a for sure thing that I'll be going out Saturday night.

My other buddy that I've mentioned in this journal a few times wants to go out this Saturday. He's the guy that's still single, but is pretty fucked up with alcohol and drugs. Well right now he's kind of clean so he says, so going out with him might be manageable. I also have a few young guys from the PUA site that I've been in touch with, and 2 of them might come out on Saturday too. Could be some fun, so we'll see what happens. I really want to get out there and give night game a try again.

Daniel Balboa put up the second part of his night game article for the site that he writes for. If any of you guys haven't checked it out yet, I suggest you do: http://themaleinsider.com/author/daniel-balboa/

If you scroll down that page, he has four or five other articles that he's written that are definitely worth the read.

Well, tomorrow is Friday, and it's usually fairly dead at the school but there will still be lots of people around, so I'll see what I can do.

Friday

Well there isn't anything really to report for today. I went into school, went to my one class, had a bit of time to kill before I caught the bus, then I went to the gym.

As I was waiting for the bus, I did walk around a bit to see what was around, but I didn't see anything that I wanted to approach. If I just wanted to approach for the sake of approaching, then sure, there is always a female around somewhere, but I'm more selective and it's just the way that I do things.

There was an Asian girl sitting on a bench, and I sat at the bench beside her. She had her earphones in and was furiously texting and looking pretty zoned into what she was doing. I mulled the idea over of talking to her for a minute, but I didn't bother, and it was just as well. Because about a minute later her boyfriend came up to the bench and kissed her, and sat down. Oh well.

And that was pretty much it for the day.

Well, it looks like I'll finally be heading out for some night game tonight! I won't be going with any of the young PUA guys from the site, I'll be going with my older buddy that's sober (at least for tonight). This could be interesting, because his game revolves around being wasted and not giving a fuck, and he's known to sometimes clam up, get pissed off and get in a bad mood if he tries to be at a bar sober. He's been going out to bars drinking and all fucked up for about 20 years now, so being there sober is something he's probably only done a handful or two times before. But he says he wants to straighten his shit up, and I gave him a long motivational-type speech on the phone the other day. For his sake, I hope he follows through, but I've given him that speech more times now than I care to remember.

Anyways, we're heading out for some nightgame. The crowd that the bar advertises is 23-35, so that should be good mix for us. I'll be priming myself up and reading Daniel Balboa's night game article before I go, and I'll definitely have a report on how things went tomorrow. Wish me luck!

General Thoughts

None for now. But good or bad, I'm sure I'll have a few after tonight at the bar!

Friday Night

Well, I have a lot to say about last night. I could probably fill a few pages with all my thoughts, but I'll try to leave out a lot of the insignificant details and just get down to what is important.

Well I didn't pick up anything, but I did make a few attempts, albeit kind of weak ones.

It was my first time at a bar in quite awhile, and let me tell you, it was a lot different than walking the hallways at school looking for an empty bench with a girl sitting on it so I could walk up and ask her if she took one of my classes that I had last year. Wow, just a totally different dynamic. It's not like I didn't know this, as I've gone to bars off and on all my life, it's just that I haven't been to one in awhile.

There is lots to mention, but I'll try to just give the rundown on a few of the main things.

First, we got there way too early, I mean we were literally the first couple of people in the bar. So after awhile the place started to fill up and the dance floor became busy.

First girl

A group of 3 or so girls pointed out their friend and said it was her birthday and 'pushed' me over to her to wish her happy birthday. She just turned 21, and I made some comment about these cool-looking earrings that she had in that looked like owls. I wished her happy bday of course. But nothing much went on there. They could have been fishing for drinks. This same group danced in our proximity a few times, and one time I sort of not pulled her hair, but more like gently ran it through my fingers as she was beside me. Got a nice smile and a sort of surprised reaction, but that was about it.

I didn't go in aggressive, that was all I really did. So nothing came of that one. I really couldn't tell if she was just there to dance and/or have fun, because several other guys were talking to her throughout the night but got nowhere.

Second girl

This one was a kind of shitty interaction, but no big deal really. Probably just as much of a mistake on my part as it was her being a fucked up/bitchy chick.

We actually spent most of the night on the dance floor. It was actually too crowded, as there was almost constant traffic trying to squeeze by all over the place. This bar wasn't all that big to begin with, and there were just too many people in there.

Anyways, I spot this goth-looking girl that had straight bangs and was dressed all in black. Not necessarily my ideal type, but she was cute. So I probably fucked up again, because to get her attention I sort of did the same thing and 'pulled' her hair slightly. It was more me running my fingers through it very softly for a brief second than a 'pull', but anyways she sort of jumped back a bit kind of startled. She had a big smile on her face and said something like "OMG you scared me" with a big smile. And the fucked up thing was I went to get near to so say something and she sort of put up her hand to my chest to sort of say back off or something like that. I just made a comment and laughed at her and sort of shook my head and turned my back. That was kind of fucked up.

girl 3

This wasn't much to mention, but perhaps it could be a lesson on what I should have done if I have a similar situation come across me again.

So my buddy and I were on the dance floor, and this chick I had noticed much earlier was dancing with her blonde friend on this slightly elevated area just on the side of the dancefloor by the railing. I made eye contact once or twice with the blonde and got a very slight grin, and then the one I wanted, her friend, the petite brown haired girl, smiled at me with a nice little grin and I smiled back. Well about a minute later I see them start to move and come on the dance floor. At this point I'm thinking this is good, they'll come and dance near me and I'll just have to make my way over and scream out a "hi" or something. But instead, they walked on the dance floor and kept walking off to the other side never to be seen again.

Should I have left the dance floor immediately and walked up to their 'platform' and asked her to dance, or at least talked to her? I don't know. It wasn't late at night, and I had seen both of them on the dance floor before, so I figured they were just having a break and were going to come back on. Anyways, they were gone and that was it.

girl 4

This one isn't really worth mentioning, but it's the closest that I actually could have came to picking up. A girl and her boyfriend were dancing, and they were sort of pushing their other female friend that was with them into me so we were sort of very softly grinding or dancing very close. After a few seconds of that I sort of casually backed up for a minute to get a better look at her and saw that she was on the chunky side so I didn't bother.

There were a few other things that went on, but I guess that's the main parts anyways.

But that 'goth' chick that put her hand up to me kind of pissed me off. I didn't let it bother me at the time, but it just got me thinking of the whole 'culture' of the clubs and how people can be so rude to each other. I mean that's flat out fucking ignorant. A guy bumped into my buddy and he bumped against a chick, and he turned to her to say sorry that he got bumped, and this chick does the same to him! Puts her fucking hand right up in his face! I mean, to me, that is ignorant. But I try to be fair and reasonable and look at things from the other side and realize that chicks put up with a lot of drunk meatheads grabbing at them, bumping into them, trying to grind them etc so maybe behaviour like that is just 'normal'. Kind of sad either way, but I guess that's how the game is played in a club.

We ended up calling it a night about 1:15am and got out of there.

General Thoughts

Well I was glad that I didn't stand around like a fucking wallflower and do nothing at all, but there is certainly room for improvement. I think next time I go, like DB's night game article says, I'll just gently touch her wrist, arm, or back, then open my mouth and say "hey, I'm xxxxx", or just "hey" or something. I don't know if the hair stroke thing is bad or not, but the two times I did it, it didn't really work out for me. Live and learn.

But at least I made an attempt though. And should I have left the dance floor after that petite brunette and her friend smiled at me? Was she really interested, or was it just because I was looking in their area, and they both noticed and decided to acknowledge me? I guess the answer to that is there is only one way to find out - go up and do it and see for yourself.

It was my first time out in a club in a long time, so I'm not expecting too much out of myself. What is annoying to me is all the drunk fucking meatheads that bump into you as they're walking by or on the dancefloor. But I guess that's the nature of a busy club and you have to expect that.

I might even end up going back out tonight to the same place. It should be pretty much the same age crowd and one of the DJs from a local popular radio station will be there, so that's not bad. The other good thing about this place is that it is no more than a 15 min drive from my place, which is nice.

We'll see what happens.

I didn't end up going back out to the bar on Saturday, and nothing much to report on Sunday.

Monday

Not a bad day at school, I made a couple of approaches.

I saw this skinny Indian chick standing at this long table where there are a couple of computers that people can use. I walked up and asked her something about where to find something at a particular office. She was nice and friendly, and I spoke to her for a minute then took off. Her face was kind of beat, and she was pretty skinny, perhaps even borderline too skinny even for me. Anyways on my way back I stopped and said a word or two to her and thanked her for telling me where to find what I was looking for. I was going to stop and try to talk more, but I kind of pussed out. I also didn't really like her face, but I'll just be honest and say I sort of pussed out as well.

The second girl I won't even call an approach, because she was a chick I approached last week. I saw her sitting on a bench, and I just walked up and said hi. I was on my way somewhere, so I only stopped to say hey and we exchanged a sentence or two then I took off.

For the third approach, I was sitting on a bench in front of the library when a girl sat on the other end of the same bench that I was sitting on. I spoke to her right away saying something about how it's hard to find a spot to sit because the school is so busy. We talked for about 10 minutes or so, and she was meeting up with a friend so she got up and left. Her face was also a bit rough, and for my liking she could lose 10-15lbs, so I didn't bother to try for her number.

That was about it for the day at school. I caught the bus out of there and went to the gym.

For the first time ever, I decided to go to a Starbucks that's close to my place a bit later on at night to do a bit of reading and just get out of the house. Doing that is part of my 'self improvement strategy', and it's actually killing two birds with one stone. What I'm trying to make a habit is to do at least a 1/2hr of reading each night, and also to get out of the house on weeknights.

There were no real opportunities that I could have tried for, although I do see some potential there if the timing is right and I get a good seat. I can see myself going out there more often now. There are actually two Starbucks that are right across the street from each other, so I have my choice of which one I want to go to.

General Thoughts

Well, I'm glad that I made a few approaches at school, but like always, I could still use to step up my game a bit more. The skinny Indian chick seemed really nice and I'm sure she was into talking to me, and I have to stay in those types of situations instead of just saying thanks or whatever and carrying on.

I'm glad that I went out to the Starbucks and did some reading as well. It's going to take time, but these are all new habits and routines that I want to get into.

Tuesday

Today wasn't a bad day, I made a few approaches but they were mostly just friendly social-type of conversations or comments.

Indain girl

There was this short, kind of chunky Indian girl at the sugar station thing putting stuff in her coffee when I was getting a lid for my tea. She was kind of in my way and said sorry. I made a comment of how they need more space in here and how there's almost always a line up. She seemed really nice and agreed, and seemed somewhat happily surprised that I spoke to her. She wasn't good looking or anything, but I just wanted to try to be friendly and social. I said another word or two as I got my lid then I took off.

Library bench girl

I sat on this bench in front of the library, and made some brief small talk with a girl that was on her computer and taking notes. It turned out it was her first year there, so we exchanged a few words and that was about it. She wasn't bad looking, but a little heavy for my liking. Again, I was just being friendly and social.

Asian girl

This girl was nice and petite, and she was sitting on a bench near the library. I sat down on the other end of the bench. I noticed she was doing some work, and she had a half a page filled with all kinds of numbers, formulas etc. It was hard for me to see exactly what it was, so I looked over and said something like "wow, that looks like some complicated stuff... guess your'e a math major". She was very friendly, and said she was a math major, but when she faced me I found that her face wasn't all that great. She was an international student, and we talked for about 10 minutes. All of a sudden, her friend came up to the bench, so she got up and left. We both said nice chatting etc, but I didn't try for the number or anything.

I sort of pussed out on another approach in the library. I was sitting on these carpeted stairs that people sit on, and I was close to this skinny chick that looked to be by herself. I kind of screwed around debating what, if anything, I should say, and after a minute or so I realized that she was part of a mixed group of 3 or four students. They all started talking together, and a minute later they all got up and left. Oh well. She had a nice and skinny body, but her face wasn't the greatest.

General Thoughts

I was happy overall today, because I wasn't there for all that long, but I did manage to make three approaches which isn't too bad. As part of my self improvement strategy, I initially set the bar low and said that I must do at least 5 approaches per week. It's only Tuesday and I've done 5 already, so that's good.

What I'm happy about:

I'm definitely happy that I'm making the effort to talk to people, even if it is just friendly small talk. Like I've mentioned, that's another part of my improvement strategy. I want to just try to be more social overall, and talk to everyone, not just girls I want to bang. So in that sense, I'm happy.

But the 'issue' remains that most of the girls that I've talked to I'm only mildly interested in, and as usual, the ones that I really want I never seem to see in approachable situations. I always see really hot girls walking to or from class, in big groups, or in other situations where I'm just not comfortable approaching.

What I need to work on:

It's great that I'm being social, but the fact still remains that I'm not getting laid, and I'm not approaching the really hot girls that I want. It's not like I'm passing them up, it's just I rarely see ones that I really want by themselves in places where I normally would approach. I've said this same thing before, I know, but I'm not exactly sure what to do about it.

I was thinking, for example, just sitting on a bench and be 'ready' to jump up and walk beside a hot chick if I see one passing. I might get up and say "hey, were you in my xxxx class last year?", or something like that. Or, I could just do similar to what I read DB has done and just give a compliment like "hey, nice hair", etc or compliment her on something that she's wearing. To me, that's going to take more 'balls' than I have typically displayed. Is that what I have to do I guess? I don't suppose there is any other way. If I'm not coming across they types of girls that I want sitting alone, then I'll have no choice but to basically run after them and/or stop them in their tracks. I really don't know what else to do.

Maybe I'm too picky? I don't know, but what I do know is that most of the girls that I see in situations where I would normally approach are chicks that are just ok looking to me.

Not to sound like I'm giving up at all at school, but I'm happy that I went out to the bar last week, as that will now give me another avenue to meet hot chicks. And there are always hot chicks at the bar. And I could even see myself going to that bar that I was at last week alone if I couldn't find anyone to go with me. I'd just go a bit later so that it was already fairly busy when I got there and I could pretty much stick to the dance floor.

But other than that, I don't know what to say. Sadly, another school year is drawing to a close, as there are only roughly five weeks left, and that'll fly by like nothing. I'll still probably go there for the first summer semester anyways.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm happy overall with how things are.

As much as I have improved, there is still no excuse for me not picking up. I've said it before, I'm not an ugly dude, and while I am older, I still look plenty young enough to get girls' interest. So what's the deal? Why aren't things seeming to work out for me? I have to approach more. Sure, these friendly conversations are great, but I need to be more aggressive and go for what I want. Again, I've said this same thing too many times. I can probably go back to page one or two of this journal and I'll see myself saying essentially the same thing. I'm tired of saying it, but I need to step things up even more. I need to take more risks. And if that means fucking sprinting down the hallway after a chick that I want, well fuck it, I guess that's what I'll have to do if I want to talk to her. I really don't know what else to do. As it is now I walk around, look for chicks that are by themselves, and I approach those ones. But like I just said, it's not often that I see the ones I really want in those situations. I don't know, it's a tough game. But, I'm not going to be too hard on myself, I've just got to keep at it and keep chipping away at it day by day.

Wednesday

Well today was a pretty good day. I made a few approaches and got 2 phone numbers. I definitely stepped things up a little bit.

Indian Bus Girl

I've seen this girl on the bus before, and we've smiled at each other but never spoken. I saw her this morning waiting inside the bus station so I just walked up to her and said something like "hey, how's it going?". Nothing too fancy for an opener.

We talked and I found out that she takes one of the same classes as I do but just at a different time. We sat beside each other for the bus ride into school and talked. When we got to the school, we went into the little caf sort of area where I get my tea and sat down and talked for a bit more. On the bus ride in, among other things, I asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she said she didn't.

We have a test coming up, and she suggested that we study for it together. I got her number and then she had to go to class. Looking back, I coulda/shoulda maybe said more than just agreed to study, as I don't want to get friendzoned, but the next time I see her or talk to her I'll make my intentions clear. I'm sure I'll be texting her over the weekend, as the only times I see her is for the Monday and Wednesday morning bus ride. We'll see what happens.

One thing that was good that I did was I noticed she had a small tattoo on her inner wrist, so as I asked about it I gave her wrist a little sensual stroke, so hopefully that communicated a bit more than just friendly interest.

Scarf girl

I sat beside this chick on these couch seats and got out my book. She looked to be middle eastern perhaps, but had a very light complexion, so I wasn't sure what her background might have been. She was reading, and I asked her what it was because I said I thought it was my subject, but it wasn't. She didn't really say much at all, and her face was nearly expressionless. She had this scarf on with some skulls on it, and she appeared to be kind of dressed up a bit. Some chicks, at least to me, give off a bit of a snotty vibe when they're all dressed up like it's a fashion show. Well perhaps I misread her and she was just shy.

As I packed up my stuff to take off, I thought I'd give her a compliment, but in a bit of a smart ass or cocky way. I guess this is the closest that I normally come to giving a neg. As I was getting up I said something like "hey, nice scarf by the way... like the skulls" She said thanks, then I said " makes you look kinda mean" with a smile/smirk and a bit of a chuckle as I got up.

It all happened so fast, but after I said the "nice scarf" bit, when she said thank you, at that moment she seemed sort of shy, so after I got up I slightly regretted saying the "makes you look kinda mean" thing. But it wasn't a big deal, it wasn't an insult or anything, and I said it with a smile. If anything, I may have came across as kind of cocky or a bit of a smart ass. But in reality, that's sort of how I am anyways. It was no big deal. I just thought she was kind of snooty, stuck up, or something, but maybe she was just shy. Oh well.

cute Indian girl

I sat beside this really pretty darker-skinned Indian girl on one of the long circular benches in this big open area. She was really cute. Normally I'm not as into the ones with the darker complexion, but she was very pretty. She had long black hair, nice and thin, petite, and had very delicate fine features. Just a really pretty girl.

She was reading her book, and I looked over and asked her what it was. She was really soft-spoken and shy and very feminine like. We talked for maybe 5 minutes until her friend came up and she got up and left. She said it was nice to meet me, and I just let her go. I could have said something like "hey, wait a second, I wasn't quite done hitting on you yet!", or something (line from DB).

What was good about this interaction, was there were two guys that were pretty close by, but I said fuck it and opened and talked to her anyways.

Well as luck would have it, when I was walking around in a different area maybe an hour or two later I saw her sitting by herself on these steps. I went up and said hi and made some brief small talk. She was doing a reading for her class that she had next. I told her that I didn't want to keep her from her stuff, so I said something like "well hey, I can't let you go until I ask you if you have a boyfriend". She said that she didn't. So I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee/tea sometime and talk, and she said yes. So she gave me her phone and I called myself from it then I took off. About 20 minutes later I sent her a text so she'd have my number and name too. I just said something like "hey, nice talking to you, have fun in class, be in touch " or something like that. She replied a minute or two later. So we'll see what happens with that one.

I should try to move this forward as soon as I can. I should probably text her tomorrow and see if she can meet me, because she doesn't have class on Friday. She's in her third year, but I guess because she's so soft spoken and has a young-looking face I initially thought she was younger. But I'd really like for this one to work out because she's just gorgeous.

Drive by bench comment

This last 'approach' I made wasn't much more than a drive by comment to a chick that was sitting on this bench. It was in an area where there were no other benches around except that one. I just walked by and said something like "ah, you've got a nice little private spot there!". Well I didn't notice her headphones were in, and she had to take them out and ask me what I said, which sort of killed the whole 'drive-by' aspect of it. But I slowed, sort of stopped for a moment and repeated it. I probably should have stayed and said more, but I didn't think or act quick enough, because as I was approaching I had it in my head that I was just going to make that comment as I was walking by. But she was nice and lit up with a big smile, so I probably should have stayed.

General Thoughts

Well today was a good day, so I have no complaints. Phone numbers don't mean shit really, but getting two in one day is probably a record for me. I'm pretty sure that it is. But we'll see if I can make something come out of them. I'll have to not let them go cold, so I should get on them asap.

I seem to mention Daniel Balboa in almost every entry, but once again I took one of his ideas and used it to help me. What can I say, I can't lie, the guy has given me a lot of ideas and motivation that has helped me, so I'm definitely thankful for that.

I posted in his journal the other day after an entry he had where he was talking about getting to the root of an issue.

So I opened a blank document and wrote "Why do I fear rejection?". And as a subtitle, I wrote "What is it in my past that causes me to not have the confidence that I should?"

And underneath that I brainstormed and came up with 7 or 8 'fears' or 'issues' etc of what I thought could be the root of my problems in this area. Some of them go all the way back to my childhood, so I went pretty deep with it.

And under each of those 7 or 8 things that I identified, I countered those points with the 'truth', or reasons why those fears or thoughts are unfounded or greatly exaggerated, or whatever the case may be depending on the particular item that I identified. Now I'm not going to go as far and say that I'm a changed man because of it, but it did help me and it did open my eyes to how irrational some of the 'fears' etc that I have are. I just think that it was a positive and beneficial exercise to go through. I'm going to print out that document and keep it in a place that I can read it over. It definitely helped.

But other than that, I guess there's not too much more to say. But I do need to follow up on these new numbers I got and see if I can get something going.

Thursday

Well today was a pretty good day. I made two approaches at school. One went quite well, but she ended up having a boyfriend.

And tonight I got laid .... guess you're waiting for the punchline eh? lol. Haha, well I actually did, go figure. It was that 21 yr chick from online dating that I mentioned a week or so ago. We've been texting back and forth a lot but tonight was the first time that I ended up going down to see her.

Well first I'll talk about school.

Girl on the bench

I sat beside this nice looking girl with long straight brown hair on these long benches. There were a few display sort of things going on in that area/hallway, and these benches were sort of behind one on the areas.

So I sat down, and a moment or so later I asked her if she was a part of what was gong on. She said she wasn't and I asked her if she knew what it was about or what was going on. We spoke a few words, but that was about it. She didn't give me the vibe that she had a whole lot of interest.

What was weird was that after that brief exchange I let things die out, and a minute or two later, I noticed that she had her hand on her head like she was resting/leaning, and was looking right in my direction (I was sitting beside her, and she was on my left). And when I looked over at her, our eyes met and she was looking at me. Since she looked like she was resting or bored, I said, with a smile, something like "you look like you're pretty bored", and she just smiled and turned back so that she was facing forward instead of looking at me.

It was odd because she didn't come across as shy at all, and she also didn't give me the vibe that she was interested at all, so it was sort of weird that she did that resting/leaning thing in my direction. I probably should have plowed a bit and tried to talk a bit more, but her signals sort of confused me so I left it. A minute or two later she got up and left.

Girl sitting at long tables

I saw this really pretty blonde girl that was dressed quite nice in sort of business casual type of clothes. She was sitting at these long tables looking at her lap top, and was on the phone as I sat down. A minute or two later I did my asking her to watch my stuff for a minute thing, and threw in my little joke about I doubt anyone is gonna want to steal my school stuff, but hey, you never know. And she laughed and had a nice smile and said sure, or whatever.

A minute or two after I got back, I asked her something about her major and if she took a particular class a year ago. I've found myself using that particular 'opener' a lot this past week. Anyways, I transitioned into regular conversation and we had a nice talk for about 15 or 20 minutes with a couple short breaks in between. One of the times it was her that started the conversation back up. So we chatted about random school stuff, nothing major.

During the chat, I got her name and introduced myself. I wanted to grab some lunch, so I decided that I was going to take off. And I said something like "Well Jxxxx, I have to get going, but it was really nice meeting you and talking to you". She said the same back and asked me if I had class now or what I was up to. And like yesterday, as I was packing up, I said "well I can't let you go here without asking you if you have a boyfriend". She said yea she does with a smile and in an almost disappointing sort of a tone. Then I stole a 'line' from DB and said something like "Well I'm not sure if he was the first one to ever say it, but I do know that Wayne Gretzky was once quoted saying that 'you miss 100% of the shots that you don't take', so hey, I had to ask you". Well she lit up with a really big smile and thanked me for asking her! The whole thing really seemed smooth as fuck, and just by the way she lit up it seemed like it made her day. And as I left I just said "well it was really nice to talk with you, good luck with your xxxxx", and I left.

Anyways, it was a really nice talk, and it was too bad, because she was a really pretty girl.

Update from the really pretty Indian girl I got the number from yesterday

I don't know what to call her just yet, but she texted me out of the blue last night, which surprised me. We went back and forth for awhile, and she seems interested. I suggested meeting up but she said that she only had one late class today and that she already had plans to see her friend before that for lunch.

So we talked a bit more, and that was it.

And again today, she texted me first and we had a nice long chat again tonight before I went to see the 21 yr old online chick. She was saying that she was trying so hard not to be nervous and awkward when she was talking to me. She comes across as so shy, sweet, and just a really nice girl. She also looks very young, she says that many people think she's 16! lol. But she's 20. But like I said yesterday, this girl is georgeous. If I could score this one, I'd be a pretty happy dude.

Thursday night

Well, I got laid!

Now that's a phrase I haven't typed out in this journal yet! lol fuck, it's about time.

She has her own place that's about a 20 minute drive from me, so after dinner I showered, got ready and went over. We just sat in her living room for the first bit and talked, and I had a tea. After maybe 1/2 an hour we decided to put a movie in. Her couches and chairs weren't all that great for two people, so we decided to order a movie from the tv that's in her room.

We order a comedy, and started to watch it.

About 20 minutes into the movie, we got a bit closer and made a comment about how I thought she was cute and put my arm around her and we got close. She was definitely kind of shy, and didn't really give me a lot of opportunity to progress, as she kept talking about very neutral type things, but she really had good eye contact though.

I wanted to kiss her to get things moving, so I ended up saying something like if she thought I looked as good as in my pics, and if I was cute enough to kiss. So of course after that we leaned in for the first kiss.

The movie was still going on of course, but I started to do a bit more like rub her back and her side, and she was doing the same to me by that point. She had on those black stretch yoga pants, or whatever they're called, and I started near her kneee and was stoking and rubbing her thighs and slowly over the course of several minutes began to caress more on her upper thighs and moving towards the inner.

Now I noticed at this point that even though I was working my hands on both her legs and kind of inbetween, that her knees were firmly shut. Quite often I've found if a chick is really receptive, she'll sort of slightly open her legs or position herself a bit better because she knows what I'm working towards doing. Well her knees were pretty shut, and I just read that body language as she wasn't ready quite yet for me to be rubbing her pussy.

So instead of having her stop me, and me going through a 'freezout' or anything, since I knew I'd get stopped, I just slowed things down a bit and didn't caress in between her legs as much, and instead moved towards the outer thigh, her side, and kissed her a bit more off and on while we talked a bit.

After a bit we repositioned ourselves a bit more, and I started back caressing her thighs and inner legs. Well this time the legs opened just that little bit and I gave her pussy a few light rubs as I was caressing her legs and inner thighs. I could tell she was getting into it.

Well this went on for a few minutes longer, and she moved from her side more onto her back. So I was on top of her then, and I was kissing her neck, and running my tongue on her earlobe and the side of her neck off and on while kissing her here and there. At this point I was on top of her, and her legs were spread and wrapped around me. I started to push myself into her a bit still with our clothes on, and we both had that sort of sly smiles on our faces. Well not long after that the clothes started to come off, and we did it just after the movie had ended.

I didn't stay long after that really, as she had to get up early in the morning for work, but I'm lucky as I can sleep in on Fridays, as I only have one class, and it's at 12:30.

So I'm home now, and it's nearly 2am and I'm writing this up.

Good day, and night overall, as I'm glad that I finally got to write about a lay in this journal. About fucking time!. Hopefully they'll be many more to come!

General Thoughts

Not much for tonight, I'm actually pretty beat and want to go to bed!

Not much to report on really.

Friday at school I believe I did one approach that didn't go anywhere.

I spent most of my free time on the weekend studying, because I have a midterm coming up at the end of this week, and it's going to be really hard.

This whole week will be kind of tough, as almost all of my spare time will be spent studying and doing a few other things that I have to do. I won't even be going to the school on Wednesday.

The good news, other than I got laid on Thurs, is that girl I called the really pretty Indian chick and I have been texting a lot ever since last Wednesday or Thursday. I'll have to give her another name, because I found out she's not even Indian! lol... I should have known better, but she's from a country in South America. She's texting me a lot, and some nights we've gone back and forth almost non-stop for hours.

Unfortunately, our school schedules don't match up well at all, and I have so much work to do this week. We have plans to see each other next Wednesday. I really don't like situations like this, as we're going to end up getting to know each other 'quite well' through text, and I've only ever seen her in person that one time and it wasn't for all that long. Oh well, I guess there's not much I can do about that. I just have to hope that things don't go cold or stale because of all this texting. So far it doesn't seem like it, as it's her that's initiating most of the texts and as far as texts go, we seem to get along pretty well.

But anyways, I don't even know what's going on with this one, or what I'm really doing here. It's obvious she's not out just for a good time, she's said a few times how shy etc she is, and it wouldn't surprise me at all to find out she's a virgin. And the amount of texting we've been doing I'm sort of setting this up for a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, which usually isn't what I want. We'll see how it plays out. But she's that good looking that I can't help but keep myself in there and see what happens.

Tuesday

Well first I'll give an update of "really pretty Indian girl", who at least for now, I'll refer to as South American girl, or SA girl for short.

Well this journal sometimes seems like a hex! lol No sooner do I write about SA girl and how good it's going, shit pretty much comes crashing down. Well not really, but it's not quite as smooth sailing as it was looking like.

We texted back and forth for a few hours last night, but a lot of it was talking about what is, or isn't, going on. There's lots to say, but I'll try to summarize it:

First she says she's not really looking for anything now, and that she just wants to be friends. I tell her if that's all you want, then the amount of texting we're doing is much more than how much we "should" be doing. I told her we shouldn't be texting half as much as this if all you want is a buddy. Perhaps a dick move on my part to say that? I don't know. But it's true, you don't just meet someone and text everyday, sometimes nearly non-stop for hours if all you're looking for is a friend.

Then, she says she's made mistakes in the past and always seems to get with the 'wrong guy', and that she wants to take it slow. Then she says she likes me and I cause her to get all nervous and make her think crazy thoughts etc (whatever that's supposed to mean). Then she starts to say that she really does like me and doesn't want to mess it up, but still wants to get to know me more as a friend.

So all this shit is sending me mixed signals, and I'm famous for sort of losing my patience with shit like this and saying something to completely butcher it. Then she says she still really wants to see me next Wednesday, and if we become friends that's great, and if we become more than friends, then that's great too.

So I'm thinking, what the fuck. First she starts off saying she's not looking for anything period. Then it turns into her telling me how she's made bad choices before and wants to go slow. Then she says she likes me and is attracted to me blah blah, but still wants to start off as friends.

This is the problem with texting, if I could have talked to her on the phone, or better yet in person, I'm sure shit would be much clearer than it is now.

Anyways, it might already be fucked because of me basically telling her we talk too much and that has to stop.

But, if it's not dead yet, I guess I have a couple of options on how I want to play this:

Option 1: - Basically tell her to beat it, and that I'm not into games. If you like me, here I am, if not, that's cool too.

Option 2: - Do it her way and be her friend and see how things go. I don't like this option because I'm giving her all the control and 'power' and we're playing by her rules. So I'm left there like a fool waiting and hoping she'll decide that she likes me eventually.

Option 3: - Be her friend and try to be nice until next Wednesday. Then when I see her, basically pretend the conversation never happened more or less and try to escalate a little bit just like I would if we never had that convo. Perhaps I'd put my arm around her at a particular time, kino her as well, and try for a kiss or rub her leg if we're sitting close. Basically as Daniel Balboa would say "burn the set to the ground". Either have her say "fuck me, or fuck off".

DB hasn't been around, but I'd like his take on this. But I think I already know how he'd play it. I'm sure he'd be leaning towards option 3.

I just don't want to fall into the trap of being some 'sucker' that's going to be texting this chick night and day like I'm her boyfriend but getting nowhere with it. And I don't want her to think that I'm going to be sitting there waiting and available for whenever she decides to make up her mind.

Personally, I'm strongly leaning towards option 3, but I certainly could see myself taking option 1 if she catches me on the wrong day.

The only 'fear' that I have with option 3 is that coming on sort of strong or not listening to what she said earlier may make me look like the type of guy that she was calling the "wrong type of guy". I got the idea that maybe she's gone out with a couple of guys who have said they want relationships, but have basically banged her then left her. I'm not sure on this, but I kind of gathered that's what she was hinting at.

But then again, I also don't want to be some fool that's going to sit around and play text games with her 3 hours a day sitting there making myself open and available to her for whenever, or if ever, she decides that she wan't to be more than friends. Hmm, I'm still thinking option 3 is my best bet. I'm not in this to fuck around for 6 months and end up with nothing.

Anyways, on to my day at school. I wasn't there for too long, but I did manage two approaches.

Girl on circular bench

I saw this nice looking chick with long brown straight hair lying down with her feet up on this long bench. It's hard to describe, but to sit down, I had to sort of sit back further on the "L" part of the bench where my feet couldn't reach the floor. I could sit either cross-legged or just with my feet in front of me. Anyways, she sits up maybe a minute or two after I sat down.

I look over and ask her if she's going to lie back down again, she says no. I say ok cool, because I'm going to move over a bit so I can put my feet down, it's more comfortable this way. She made another comment and seemed quite friendly, and we talked for about 20 minutes. The good thing about this one was that once again there were people around that heard me talk to her, so I'm slowly not giving a fuck if someone hears me open a girl. Well unfortunately a minute or so into the conversation, she casually mentions during something that she was talking about that she has a boyfriend.

She was quite flirty with me, and when she initially got up and started talking to me, she stretched her back more than just a few times, and each time basically pushing her tits with visible cleavage right in my face. We had great eye contact and lots of smiles going back and forth, so it was too bad she wasn't single. She was young though, as she just turned 18 not too long ago.

When she did mention her bf, nothing bad or negative was said about it, and when she eventually packed up to leave she didn't really linger, so I just let her go without mentioning anything about a number or meeting up later. If she had spoken negatively about her boyfriend, or lingered like she was waiting for something, then maybe I would have. But we had a good conversation anyways, but it was a damn shame, because she was hot!

Girl on couch seats

There wasn't too much to this one. I saw this chick with light brown/dirty blonde straight hair sitting on these couch seats. I sat a few feet away on the next seat. She was looking at her notes, but she put them away and was sort of playing with her phone off and on. About a minute or two after she was doing this, I looked over with a smile and said something like "you look kinda bored!". Her reply was something like "nah, I'm just waiting for class". But I could tell from her eye contact, or lack thereof, her voice tone and posture that she wasn't into talking, so I just smiled and went back to doing what I was doing. Maybe five minutes later she got up and left.

Like the other girl I opened, people were around and likely could have heard me. In the past, and even still, that's been a sticking point for me, so it's good that I'm starting to open in these types of situations.

And that was it for the day. I took off and went to the gym for some deadlifts!

I would go with "Option 3" but you don't have to be super aggressive about it. Meet up with her and then just smoothly escalate.

She likes you. If you just act normal and get her turned on and into you, I don't see her wanting to be just friends. I play this one as the "scumbag with a heart of gold." Sure, you want to get nasty, but show her that you are a good guy and a nice human being too and she won't think she's going after the "wrong type of guy" or whatever.

Solid advice, and that's pretty much what I was thinking too. But, the ole butcher's cleaver came into play on this one, and I think it might be fucked.

We started off texting every day. Then after our 'talk' where I said we talk too much and that should stop, a day or two passed and then I initiated a text with her. It was a short convo, but she still seemed fairly nice.

That was last Thursday, and after that I didn't text her or she didn't text me at all. So yesterday (Monday) morning at school I texted her a simple 'hey what's up' with a smilie, and she didn't reply!

So after about 10 hours or so had passed, and it was about 9pm last night, I sent her a text saying that I can't make it on Wednesday, no hard feelings, take care. Again, kind of a dick text maybe, and it could be taken a few ways. I sort of made it sound like I wasn't going to talk to her anymore, and take care.

Well 2 minutes after I sent it she texts me back apologising for not getting back to me and that she was really busy and some lame comment about the weather. She texts me another one right after saying it's ok, she understands, and that she has lots of assignments she should be starting on anyways. I didn't reply back.

I know I didn't play that one well, as I let my ego get in the way of my bigger goal, and that's getting laid. I figured she wasn't going to reply back to me at all because it had been all day, so that spurred me to send of a kind of dick text basically saying 'see ya'. But I really am busy Wednesday, so not being able to see her is the truth, even though we didn't have any concrete plans made.

But it's just funny that she replies 2 minutes after I sent it. It might not be fucked, as I'll get back in touch with her and see if things can be salvaged. I guess in some ways, I can still be immature, and maybe that's what keeps me young! lol A lot of the time I don't really act my age, and I can get butthurt and do stupid shit just like anyone!

But yeah, I guess she was put off initially when I said we talk too much, then she just let me text her after that to sort of 'set the pace', and I guess when I let 4 or 5 days pass she wasn't in a hurry to get back to me considering we were texting every day, sometimes for hours, before all that happened.

I have to learn to watch my attitude and keep my goal in mind. My goal is to get laid, not protect my ego or 'win' all the time. I guess I can learn from this, as maybe that's why so many of my lays come from one night stands, because I'm not as good at maintaining relationships, as I've often fucked things up when it takes more time to lay a girl. I guess I lack patience sometimes, and whenever I sense a game being played or attitude towards me, I just do or say something to kill it instead of being a bit more tactful and putting my emotions aside.

Anyways, we'll see how this one plays out.

Yea I hear you, I do write a lot. Realizing this, I'm in the process of coming out with a picture-book version. Stay tuned.

Well I've pretty much let a week pass without any updates. Truth is, there isn't much to update really. Last week was pretty much a write-off as I was really busy studying for my exam that was on Friday. Nothing happened on the weekend.

I was at school yesterday, but I wasn't there for long and didn't do any approaches.

I won't be at the school today, or tomorrow either, as I have a lot of other work to do was well as a dentist appointment. So that's about it really, not much to report on that's pickup related. I do, however, have another 'online Asian' chick on the go, and we've been texting for about a week, and might end up meeting up on the weekend. She's a pretty hot chick, but kind of 'older'. Lol, well for me, she's older as I think she's 30 but still has a really nice looking body. So we'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I'm going to text SA girl back and see if I can salvage it. We'll see.

This is one of those things where I think that from a "mental health" standpoint, its better to just be a bit unconcerned about the whole thing. Sometimes that will get you laid, sometimes it won't, but it will always leave you better able to live your life happily.

You are correct, you were protecting your ego. But what's the use in that? Let's step back and look at this. A girl you hardly know is acting oddly over text. This is literally somewhere between I spilled my milk this morning and the trash man didn't come. Its almost irrelevant. Treat it as such. I know she is hot but its not worth getting angry or butthurt or really allowing any negative emotions to emerge. It's really not. I know its one thing for me to say that and an entirely different one for you to genuinely feel that way, but I think you realize that there's a reason you are getting upset at this sort of thing and you need to face it down.

For what it's worth, you can just slow the texting down without saying anything if that's really your concern.