Story short, I have been with my gf for about 4 months. Since we got official there have been this one dude who keeps calling my gf every day. She warned me when we first started dating that this guys behaviour would probably annoy me. My gf have been friends with him through some years, and from what she tells me they have met around 5 times totally at public places. Most of their former friendship have consisted on long phonecalls where they talked.

Now to the problem. Since my girlfriend and I have been official, this guy have started to get creepy towards my girlfriend. He calls her all the time, and even though she text him and tell him to stop couse she's with friends he just continue calling. He have showed up to private parties where my girlfriend have been to and waited for her outside and texting her to come outside to him and go with him home.

He I recently saw on my Gf phone, she was showing me a funny picture on it, that she had about 20 unanswered phone calls from that guy from just that day. I asked her what its about and she tells me since she starting dating me he got furoius everytime she didnt answer him, and therefore didnt really wanted to talk to him anymore.

Now the bad part, yesterday she slept over at my place, he called her phone 3:45 in the middle of the night. I wake up and just press "dont answer". He then keep calling about 10 times. So not to wake my sleeping gf, I take my own phone and text him not to call my girlfriend, and if he should continue, I would come take a talk with him.
He then starts to call my phone, which unfortunately isnt on silence mode, so he wakes my girlfriend. He tells me he doesnt like my aggresively behaviour and some more which I didnt listen to.
The next day he starts to write some angry messages to my girlfriend where he want a big apology for that kind of behaviour. She wants me not to write to him and at the same time she doesnt answer him.

But I have a feeling this creepy dude aint gonna stop. Any advice from you guys how to handle a dude like this? One of my thought where to go to his college, not so far from me, and have the talk with him. But at the same time be ready to kick his butt. But Im not sure this is the best idea since Im not that into violence anymore and couse my temperment can make me do things I might regret.

Seriously frustrated

Any ind of advice would be much appriciated

So say some guy calls my girl at 4 am in the morning..which is fucked up as it is , I ask him to stop and then get this : I would seriously kick his ass ,no questions asked. Who the fuck does this guy think he is man ? )

And fuck him , why the hell does yo girl put up with him ? what's the deal ? this is seriously weird.

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I'm not a expert on this but first thing your girl needs to do is cut off ALL CONTACT with this guy (block his number and all social media sites), everytime she responds shes feeding into him and giving him the notion that she wants to talk to him, if it esclates after that get the police involved but I wouldn't go up to his college and face him I'd wait until he is near your girl

In this situation, as tempted as I might be do go round and kick the living shit out of the guy, that would only really end with you being criminally prosecuted.

I would however, notify the police about this guys behaviour, because it is a little bit scary in my opinion. That's not being a pussy or anything, it's sensible. This guy sounds a bit mental.

this is a really tough situation. with the girl i was just with, i found out its actually kind of common for most girls to have a guy like this around. its usually a former boyfriend, or just some psycho guy. but it really is a tough situation. getting the police involved might not be good. its hard to tell.. they might not do anything, and it might piss the guy off and put crazy thoughts into his head. same as going no contact. it could piss the guy off and you have to be worried about violence towards the girl. don't forget, if a guy is doing this.. there's something seriously wrong with him. in each of the girls who i heard talk about this, it seems like they just occasionally answer to keep the guy content. i personally would think they'd eventually give up with no contact.

but it really is a scary situation, especially when its with a girl you know, and the girl often will want you to stay out of it. don't confront the guy. its not your business. he will take it out on her, not back on you. be careful what you do. i'd love to hear more answers to this as it is a very serious problem.

going back to the police, on second thought it would probably be a GREAT idea to contact an officer and ask for their advice, but to not right away give out any information. just look for advice. they probably deal with this often.

no disrespect but im going to be blunt--why hasnt the girl blocked his number or got a new sim card it will only cost her 10 bucks and maybe half an hour telling the people she wants to hear from her new number--im also a believer that when in a relationship its up to the girl to get rid of any old unwanted baggage she has and not the guy . Also if a woman REALLY wants a guy out of her life they never have any problems doing so speedily.

My gf response to this have been that she will cut contact with him. At the same time she tells me that she talked alot with him when she was in her ex bf. She feels kind of pity with the guy and have been telling med that he is a very sensitive guy who takes stuff very personally. She told me she is scared of what he will do now when she stopped answering his calls. But becouse of the angry message he wrote, I would watch out. I dont know, but from my perspective he is unpredictable and I believe that he has some kind of mental problems which combined make him dangerous.

I didnt really think of contacting the police, but Im thinking about it know, just need to talk with my gf about it. But I can't see he have done anything illegal yet, so I dont believe the local police can do much.

Att: Herne. I would have liked that my gf blocked his number. But she is the non confrontation kind of person, who really doesnt like that. She is also very insecure of herself and doesnt like to say no, which have led to she only go out if Im or some of my good friends are with her and she have asked me to kind of AMOG guys whose hitting on her couse she doesnt feel she can handle them. (Some of this might be becouse she was sexually assultated several times by a guy from her school, but Im not sure)

I will agree with you guys that no mattet how tempting it is, I should pay him a visit at college with my good buddies from the army.

I continue to update, and also the recommends how to tackle it has been usefull Keep them coming.

Anyone else smell a red flag with this girl or is it just me?!

She sounds too weak! I don't trust weak girls because as soon as your not there by her side I will guarnatee that she is texting this dude more than you realise! I think deep down you might of already thought of that...

Ill deal with crazy dude issues up to a point but then ill just bail and say that this is fucked up. Every single time the girl went with the "crazy stalker weirdo" after...

I'd talk to her and give her one more chance of deleting this dude! If it persists then I'd call her bluff and do a "this is ruining our relationship. I want us to continue without being bothered by some weirdo. Until that can happen I need a break" then bail and freeze out.

Think about this logically... If she was really worried she be talking to her family, her dad ect and her dad would make sure this shit stopped.


I agree with a poster above...Girls are ruthless at cutting people out of their lives when they really want to!

gtdave, I have thought of that possibility that she text him when Im not there. This is my first kind of relationship, and I have chosen her out of several girls I have been dating. And we are still in the "honeymoon" period, so I might believe her more than good is becouse of these reason.

After what I read from your guys replies, I think my response to all this will be not to talk about it unless he starts calling non stop when Im with her. If or when that happends I will deal with it by saying this guy and all his harassment is ruining our relationship. And then I will see how she respond to it, but all the time be ready to abandon the ship before it sinks. Eventhough that might be a blow to my trust in relationships.

What do you guys think about dealing with it like this?

Man, that guy must have been the most desperate person on Earth. It's funny as hell
He would be the last person she would fuck/kiss/date whatever. He's needy AS FUCK, don't you ever worry about it.

My girl had a stalker, he was so obsessed with her that he went to her university after her classes and asked her out. Well, obviously she went with him, he was so desperate that he was showing her his HIV tests and billing accounts. My little devil used him so much that he actually bought her stuff from shopping mall.

Was I jealous? Hell no, if I showed some of that she would talk, meet with him on purpose, women are evil when it comes to feelings, I actually laughed at that "date" and joked about doing some hiv tests myself.

No worries bro.

Bro nobody is going to blame you for wanting to kick the living shit out of this guy. But the problem is that would just result in the police getting involved which is a bad idea.

Honestly man I think you're absolutely right, this guy isn't gonna stop until something extreme happens and maybe not even then. If I were you I'd roll up to his University and tell him that he's scaring your gf with his stalkerlike behaviour and that he needs to move on because she's with you and nothing is ever gonna happen between them.

If that doesn't work then tell him that she has no feelings for him whatsoever and she's always complaining about what a douchebag he is and if he calls her again you'll phone the police.

These guys won't stop unless you make it very clear that they can't get away with their stalkerlike behaviour and as you are the boyfriend and she's very non-confrontational its your job to deal with these kind of things.

Good luck Danish

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Thats a good approach but she needs to stop talking to him bc of what you've told us seems like she likes the attention or else she would've put an end to it by now

Exactly!

Something isn't adding up! Don't let the honeymoon emotions fool you. I think it's great that you are going in with an open mind. The guy could be a total fag or he could be an ex boyfriend that's pissed.

Just use this as a mental block so as you don't get too invested. Keep an open mind until you see how this plays out.

My gut reaction is that she's flirting enough to drive the dude crazy and he's flipping out due to not being able to cope with her push pull on off texting. He's got oneitis and we all know that it WILL NOT END unless there's genuine no contact.

Now to the problem. Since my girlfriend and I have been official, this guy have started to get creepy towards my girlfriend. He calls her all the time, and even though she text him and tell him to stop couse she's with friends he just continue calling. He have showed up to private parties where my girlfriend have been to and waited for her outside and texting her to come outside to him and go with him home.

Don't care, its over for this dude. He's a pussy. Act like it wouldn't effect you, you'll come off attractive as fuck. Your confidence will be noticeable. If she asked you what she should do tell her it's up to her but you'll support her 100%

The stalker is no ex. He is a guy my gf had alot of deep conversation and alot of talk about feeling when she were with her ex. I will try, like gtdave said, too use this not to get to involved with my gf right now bevouse something doesnt add up. Thats said, Im in no way scared of this guy stealing my gf, he had his shot.

But Im worried about his approach to all this if my gf choose to block him complety. I can handle people who think straight with no problems. But this guy is freaking me a bit out couse he seems so into my gf, like he is crazy about her. And at the same time he seems like he a person, who on one side is really sensitive and on the other side have alot of anger inside him.

My approach will still be to stop talking about him, if it comes up with him calling non stop, I will tell my gf that she have to do something about him as it is interfering our relationship. And ofcouse add that I support her 100% and Im willingly to help her as much as needed to get rid of this creep.

Thanks for the help so far guys, I really appreciate all you thoughts and advices on this. I will keep posting updates when there is news on this.