Yes, as notnerdy says don't text good night.
Don't initiate any talking/texting.
If she texts you, wait at least 4 hours and text back something minimal but positive (no miss you's,i love you, we should work on us). If she texts you something like "I miss you" I can see you going back like "I've been going crazy without you in my life, all i want to do is be with you and make you happy forever, I;m so sorry blah blah blah). DON'T. A simple " " can do the trick for any affectionate text she might send.
It;s not rocket science bro, NO INITIATING, NO MUSHY TEXTS OR CONVOS AND MINIMAL REPLIES.
Do other things and enjoy your life. Truth is, she may never come back to you, she may hook up with her ex, she may take you back and this happens again in a week. Just focus on YOURSELF and what makes YOU happy. I swear, if you were my buddy in real life, I would smash your phone.

Hey neo,

I'd bet we'd be great buddies man, you are taking time to give me some real solid tips on how not to blow it.

Without your help, my girl would probably be off with her friends talking about the "psycho" she just dumped...haha!

I am really glad that you jumped back on here to give the:
I would have totally f'd that up for sure... No GOOD NIGHTS, I've got it...(I hope)

Now, you spelled it out pretty freakin' easy for me here:
Damn if you don't totally know my ways already... I WILL drop all the "miss you's, and love you's now for sure.

This is really what I need to remember:
This made me laugh for sure...
haha!

I have taken the good advice you've given neo, and I've been focusing on myself and doing things that make me happy, working on my twin engine speedboat, running around just goofing off, fun stuff for sure.

If you are anywhere near California, I'd buy you a drink... well f*ck that... I'd buy you the bar itself for the help you've given!

Update:

The last I texted her yesterday was at 2pm when I said "sorry you're still sick, let me know if i there is anything I can do...blah, blah, blah..."

Last night at 10pm I get a series of 3 texts from her, one after the other... (this is an 8 hour gap)

Her: Oh, I've been getting my sleep fine--
I meant to text that I've slept 12 hours each night the past two nights.

Her: Charlene (her sister) spread her kudies all over this house.
You really want to take a chance? I sanitized my room w an untraviolet c device
(It's what's used in hospitals)

Her: I have a sore throat but have a few
antibiotic pills just in case.

(Damn if I don't need a phone number to call now for a "lifeline" hahaha!)

So, I wait about 20 minutes and text back:

"Girl germs don't scare me..."
"I'm a man...haha!"

Damn if it wasn't just like neo predicted...I'd jump all over her contacting me.

But, I did have a couple things running through my mind when I texted back, one thing is that we are both older and she's not in her 20's, and the second thing being the idea that, "she's a therapist" which with her hyper-sensitivity, could probably see right thru any no contacts I'm doing if it looked deliberate on my part.

(Also, does this matter that both her mom and best friend also told me that she is a super feminine girl as well, I can see that easily, maybe this detail makes a difference about her, say verses a girl who's a rough and tough tomboy type?)

Now just less than 1 week ago I would have been gushing 10 paragraphs of EXACTLY what neo and a few others said I'd say... "baby i miss you, love you, can't see myself without you, I'm heartbroken, please give me a chance, you know I'll do better, I miss your taste, (actually I do!) and blah, blah, blah...

So, what is the general thought here on how she is reacting?

I know some of you might be saying, "F*ck him, he isn't going no contact so I could give a shit now.... or something like that, but every situation is a bit different.

The thing that sticks in my mind the most is that while we were getting along fine, and even after the "conflict"we had that resulted in all of this, I was literally blowing up her phone less than 5 days ago with text messages and emails.

Those texts and emails, (along with a couple phone calls too) were FILLED these f'ing long-ass paragraph after paragraph of sentences filled with lovey-dovey, mushy-wushy, itty-bitty, cutsie-wootsie bullshit!

Now, just 4 days later, I think: "If I stop all contact completely, or go with a one sentence text hours after she contacts me, she will for sure think that someone is "coaching me" on what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and where to say it".

Thanks!

Haha, it's some progress. PMd you. At least you waited 20 mins and wrote less than 10 words. So you're saying that she wants space, but if you give her space she'll think someone is coaching you? So you want to act the same way with her as you did so she'll know you're not being coached?

ok let me step back in. You got some time where your not total AFC. Just mostly AFC. Shes texting you thats good. Ok hears what your text need to be about.

1. Things that she likes. Exp. Find and send her a juice recipe that you like and some little facts about one of the ingredients. Or more on Yoga and how you made a new friend. Go ahead and mention that your new friend is a girl. That will put you in a higher value bracket and touch on a powerful button.
2. Don't talk about the "relationship" and hows it going and what your doing to fix it or change it. Your actions speak more than words. You might also say something that will tilt her like a pinball machine. You might also bring back some unwanted memory's and feelings.
3. and this one should be #1 Make your texts light and funny. Even a bit Cocky Funny. Don't be all Debbie downer with ah your sick and my bmw tiers and blah blah blah. You need to set up some common interest and make your texts fun and exciting. To her not to you.
4. Keep up with not sending LOL's and
5. when you get back to being intimate. get a bit naughty on your texts but that's way down the road.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Oh also Mike if she calls you can pick up the phone. Just be like Hey babes whats up. Don't shut her out if she is reaching out to you. But remember the Tao of Steve and Always be awesome. The no contact is used to either stop you from smothering a girl or to punish her a bit if your using a freeze out for something that she did wrong. I dont want you to shoot your self in the foot and think that if shes calling you that you should ignore her. That will just put her off.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Wow!
You guys are amazing! Damn man if what you said would happen, did happen!

Chinopants, you are right, I did keep everything light and funny, no mention of the “issue”, no “Debbie downer” style texts, nothing like that.

Neo87 was a HUGE help as well in that he kept pointing out, like Chino did, all the “bad” stuff I was, or could fall back into doing, if I’m not careful.

Here is what went down since the text I left Saturday night at 10pm. I’ll start with that text:

10pm on Saturday:

Me: Girl; germs don’t scare me…I’m a man…haha!

Now after this text Saturday night, I don’t hear jack from her, nothing, nada… At this point I’m thinking: “Well okay, this doesn’t look good and I should really be prepared for the worse, which would be the end of us”.

I go thru Sunday (yesterday) just being happy, spent time with my 11 year old daughter (who I have with me 50% of the time) and just tried to relax about the whole thing.

At 4:30pm, I go to yoga and it was great. As I’m in the dressing room after, taking a shower, I see that she texted me this at 4:45pm:

Her: I feel much better now. Are you available to hang out tonight?

Since she texted that to me at 4:45pm, and my class didn’t stop until 5:15pm, and the fact that I didn’t see her message, I wasn’t able to reply to her for over an hour until 5:50pm.

(this probably worked to my advantage as if I hadn’t been distracted, I’d of probably texted her back at “warp-speed” haha!)

I sent back:

Me: “I am just getting out of Katie’s class, let me take a shower and that sounds fine.”

I get an immediate text back:

Her: Ok

Now one funny thing about us is the fact that we must “read” each other’s minds…. Seriously! It is strange for sure. Probably one reason she was so put off with me early last week when I couldn’t “get a clue” about WTF was happening here.

20 minutes later (6:15pm) , I’m in the parking lot and as I am writing her out this text and literally hitting “send”, she sends me a text. There is no way in hell she could have typed that fast as her text hit my phone, the second I hit send on mine. Here is what I said as her text came in at the same time:

Me: Hey okay, How about I come over and we can go out and eat? I’m hungry…haha

Her: (at the same time as my text) I’m hungry. Can we go out to eat? I haven’t shared our personal issues w my family. (remember, she lives with her parents currently)

She gets my text and replies:

Her: Great!

I text back:

Me: You are funny! I was just texting you. I’ll be right over.

Her: LOL!

So now here is where the “Transformation” begins:

I get to her house, she opens the door, and we just hug and hold each other for a minute. I come in and Mom and Dad are happy to see me as well as the 2 dogs! Haha!

We go out to eat, and on the way, I just keep it fun and casual. It didn’t even feel like we “needed” to talk about anything concerning our “issue”. In the car, I held her hand a bit (it was a 15 minute drive) and she rubbed my neck and caressed my arm.

At the restaurant, it was fantastic! We had a couple Sake bombs, (it was a Sushi place) ate, and just had fun. During that time, (I was sitting right next to her) I took her hands in mine and said: “I never want to spend another week like that missing you like that again…”

She just smiled at me. Then we went shopping at the health food store and back to her house. On the way, she said she had thought about some things and realized that this time last year, she broke up with a guy that she thought was her “true soul mate” because he was all over the map emotionally, meaning that she started noticing that whenever the weather changed, so did his “mood swings”.

She said that even though she loved him and thought he was “the one” forever, she had to break up with him because he got so “moody and needy”. Then she said that she jumped into what she referred to now as a “rebound” relationship for almost 3 months that didn’t work.

During that time, her dog of 16 years died, and she ended up breaking it off with the “rebound guy”.

She said that second break-up was just over a month over when she met me. I asked her if she felt that I was another “rebounder” … she was like; “Absolutely not! this is different between us, that last relationship was a more than obvious rebound one…”.

I just smiled and said; “Good”.

At one point during the ride home, she said something about going to a week-end retreat, (she would be gone by herself for 2 or 3 days). I said; “Hmmmm, that sounds like something you’d really like”.

(Maybe this was a “test” to see if I’d AFC on her?)

We got back to her house and had one of the hottest and most sensual love sessions ever. Afterwards, she just laid in my arms holding me around her until I left about an hour after.

When I left, we hugged and kissed lots. I didn’t say “well, when are we getting together again?” or “I’ll call you tomorrow morning”…nothing. Just a very sweet “good-bye” as obviously we are feeling good again.

I know this is a long-ass post but it looks like that if I can just GIVE HER SPACE once in a while, things will be fine. I did forget to mention that on the way home, we laughed a little bit about my “neediness”!

She indirectly said that it wasn’t the “gifts” that pushed her to the edge, it wasn’t the “love-texts” that did it, but rather it was that I was sending so very much of my “energy” into her. THAT was what overwhelmed her completely.

Now, I’m no fool. (some of you are thinking…”Yeah right!)

There is no way in hell now that I’m going to be so f’ing overbearing on her. I look back now and think what you guys did; “Fuck dude, get the fuck off of her and let her breathe man!”

I’m not sending anymore long-ass texts that go nowhere, no overage of my “energy” into her space, and I am going to pay attention to the subtle signs that she needs some “freedom” every once in a while.

At this point, I am firm on what I need to do. Please suggest anything you might want to so that it could help.
When I left her house last night and got home (a 20 minute drive). I texted her this:

“Thank you for such a beautiful and tender night with you sweetheart! It felt great! Muah! Xoxo”

Maybe that is reverting back to AFC? No I hope. It was just a little note to her is all I felt that it was. It was a HUGE contrast to the text-book sized texts I was leaving her just over a week ago.

I feel good about all of this and I can’t thank you all enough for sticking in there with me to see it to this point. Neo87 pm’d me with his personal phone number! He didn’t have to do that. He gave me advice I needed, or I would have for sure f’d this all up. Chinopants was there the entire time giving the advice of a wise-man! And there are all the others on here who gave a fuck to help out a guy who really needed it.

It’s not over for me yet but at least I can stand on solid ground with her once again.

I’ll keep any new “changes” posted. I REALLY don’t want to fuck up this “second chance”!

Also, any tips on what to do from here so i don't fu*k up? things like how and wheh to contact her... etc., etc.?

That's awesome. Glad you learned and got to another level. It just gets better. Next thing to do is become the best lover you can and blow her mind when in bed. That's the best way to keep a girl. Keep surprising them and don't get rutted in a pattern of dullness. That last text was good. It was short sweet and a bit playful. After you have a great time its ok to acknowledge them for that. And that's just not with sex.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Hey Chino!

Thanks for the compliment! I am so thankful that I was able to pull out of this! Now, to just maintain and develop this "new" me.

I think the one main thing that helped was that I wasn't "freaking" out on her prior to this...

you helped me save the day here and seriously, I would have been in a complete and total mind-fuck over losing her without your help. It would have tripped on me pretty good and more than likely left a weird impression on me no doubt.

I really thought i lost her for good and I think a lot of you guys did too.

Honestly, if it wasn't for you and neo87, i'd have blown her so far away from me...

Last night was fantastic, nice kinda roughish sex, she saying things like: "oh...oh... you're so big inside of me" and "I want you inside of me"... hot-ass stuff.

Since we really hadn't been intimate for a super long time (meaning we haven't been having sex all that long with each other... like 6 weeks or so) I wasn't getting too crazy with her. Well, that wasn't a good idea!

When i started holding her like i was squeezing her to death while i 'm thrusting away, she was in heaven!
Just slamming it like a mad dog! Sweet! I could tell she LOVED it! A little lite hair pulling as well!

Damn, maybe i should head back over there...hahaha!

I just want to be sure I don't screw up from here... any tips on how to maintain?

Hola!

I didn't read everything, because 7 pages.

I read the beginning of your story, and the "end".

You can say to people, i mis you, i want to see you, but if you're in the end not meeting up, or there's always an excuse, as in being sick, it's not true. Actions speak louder then words. That's the only thing you can judge a persons intrest level on.

You are making a bunch of mistakes. They all come from one point. Your mindset. How do you approach the situation, what do you think of her, of the affection she is giving you. Can you explain this to us please?

Women, are emotional, they want to feel things. Sending a text right back after she texts you, for example, doesn't make her feel anything. Waiting 2 hours, makes her feel something. Saying you miss her, and you love her, and you adore her, every day, makes her feel nothing. Maybe in the beginning, but in the end it's, "Ooh, here he is again". Mix things up, be the challenge, that is what you have to do. She must think "Woah, he finally said something nice to me, this makes me feel good". It loses it's value when you overuse it (it's like hearing a song to much, ooh this crap again).

Explain us your mindset, your toughts, that's where your problems come from.

Edit: You already explained your toughts.

Cheers

Awesome! So good to read a succes story, I was on sort of the same situation, read some post like yours and it really helped. Being a challenge is whats most important. Cheers !

Yeah I was just thinking about it. Alpha man sex. Its unapologetic raw and savage. And blows the girls away. Their is none of that "Oh am I hurting you" or "is this ok" crap. Beyond that is deep connective touching and reading a girl by touching a girl and watching how she reacts. Remember make her cum first and if needed second. Then later on once she smitten you can do as you please.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Okay...

This is weird...And sorry for the long post…

I'm reaching out to you guys again for help. I thought this was dialed in totally by now.

So, since I was able to restore the relationship like a month or so ago, things have been going great!

It's been weeks of NO issues and No problems at all. In fact, she has complimented me a lot on how much "better" I am around her, we've talked about lots of things that make her comfortable, and things have truly been just bitchin' over the past few weeks now since the problem I first posted about...

So here is the "problem". My GF has what is called "Adrenal Gland Fatigue" Long story short, it pretty much just wears down a person, they don't want to do a lot of things, honestly, you really have to google it to understand it. One thing is that you need proper rest to feel better along with holistic medications to "re-balance" yourself.

She has been staying at my house, or me at her house once or twice during the week or weekends and that is always cool.

This past Wednesday she spent the night. We had a blast, things seemed fine, and everything was cool.
She didn’t get much rest that night.

The next morning I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable with the Adrenal gland problem which makes her want to “retreat”, or go into a shell, kinda like.

She kind of joked that she really shouldn’t even be in a relationship right now because of the gland problem and I teased her that we should break up. We both laughed about it and later I drove her home.

She did say that she wanted some “space” again. That dreaded word for me!

She talked about going to her parent’s cabin for a couple of days by herself etc., etc., and I was totally supportive of that. There was no whining or neediness on my part at all.

So anyway, I dropped her off Thursday afternoon and I texted her later that afternoon telling her about some stuff I picked up at the health food store etc., etc.

Then she tells me that she also went to a health food store near her place and got some things for her adrenal glands and that the girl there said she didn’t look too bad from it (the adrenal gland fatigue)as the store clerk had some experience with that issue.

Anyway, I texted her that she always looks great and also that “I want to be with you so bad right now”. (I know now this was a mistake?)

A few hours later she texts back info on what she picked up from the store and she was teasing me big time about also getting some Maca Root which can also be used to boost male testosterone and sexual desire. She laughed that the girl at the store said a guy could even rub it on his unit as well.

I texted back “well, why haven’t we” and laughed about it. I also again said that “I was missing her” and I was as we get along so perfectly when we are together.

I also texted her that I researched Maca Root and found out how it could help her with the gland issue.
She texted back that it comes in different forms, and to pick the best one I liked, Then she said “Ok, signing off. Sweet dreams xoxoxo”

I texted back: “Okay Honey, Sweet dreams to you too. I love you. Nite, nite”

The next morning I texted her a Good Morning Gorgeous text saying that I hoped she felt better, That I woke up thinking about her, and that I missed her and that I couldn’t wait to see her again.

She texted back fairly quickly, a nice Good Morning! to me and wished me well as I had a dental appointment that afternoon.

Then she texted:
“I know you want to see me and you miss me but it puts pressure on me. It doesn’t help me feel better but it has the opposite effect on me. U only haven’t seen me for 1 day. You’ve said something about that (I am missing her) in almost every text since yesterday when u knew I needed this entire weekend for space. If u care about me, please don’t do that”

Right after that text, came this one:

“I’m not texting anymore until Monday evening. So I’ll talk to you then Hugs and Kisses.

I was blown away! I had no idea that I was the problem here. It sure didn’t seem like it. And I swear to god that things were fine up until this came up.

I texted back that I was sorry, and that I apologize for that. I said to her that I didn’t want to “pressure” her, and that I respect the fact that she wasn’t feeling well and that she wanted some time to herself. I also said that taking time out is a great thing for her, and that I was happy she had the time to do it. I closed by saying that: “I am here if you need me sweetheart.”

About two hours later, (WTF?) she calls me to tell me that the dental procedure I was having later that day (A major teeth cleaning where they numb you out) was pretty harsh, and to take more Advil or a vicodin before I went, as she talked to her mom about it, and they both agreed that it was a painful thing. I was surprised that she called and I thanked her and hung up.

That was it contact-wise on Friday. Our last contact by phone or text was at 12 noon on Friday.

I did not text her, call her or anything. I wake up today, (Saturday) and I go to yoga class. All of a sudden she is there and walks by and says “Hi”.

I go up to her to say hi back, and ask how she is feeling and she said “a little better”. Class started right after that.

Yoga class went fine, and we weren’t “looking” or “staring”at each other, or anything funky or weird like that.
After Yoga, I went up to her to comment on how the class was (and I was thinking about asking her if she wanted to get a Jamba Juice or some tea) and she just glares at me and says:

“I told you I needed space”

I was like WTF????

Then I mumbled something like “Oh… I’m sorry…“ and I just walked back to where I was, as everyone was gathering up their stuff as well and just grabbed my mat and towel, (usually you roll it up and fold the towel you set on top of the mat. It is “Hot Yoga” meaning they keep it at like 95 degrees so I was only in a pair of Yoga shorts)

Then I just walked out in my shorts only, barefoot, and hopped in my car and got the fuck out of there.

At first I was pissed, but now I am just confused as fuck! What the hell is going on here?

After I calmed down a bit when I got home, I tried calling her just to say something like: “Hey, sorry for the confusion, I had no idea that maybe I was the reason you wanted space, and that I respect the fact that you want some time alone…blah, blah, blah…”. But her phone went straight to voicemail and thankfully I didn’t leave a message, but she knew I called because of caller ID.

It never seemed like I was the original issue at all when she said she needed space again. It feels like everything and everyone else in her life is okay for her to hang out with, but me.

Oh, and early last week we already planned a bitchin’ trip to Hawaii at the end of this month where they are having a Yoga festival, so it isn’t like she wants to “break-up” or anything like that. Plus our sex life is awesome, she has plenty of orgasms. Honestly, I am really puzzled here my friends…

What the fuck man. Your slipping. Your falling back to your old shit. Dump her. You can't give her what she needs from a relationship. You are grinding her down and she is going to start hating you and will break your heart. Seriously its not cryptic or anything. She said she needs some space. So what do you do? YOU CALL AND TEXT REPEATEDLY. This is what you need to do. Delete her number each time she needs space. Lose her email. Let her decide when you get to re-see her. Thing you also need to do is be the man she wants. Make her desire you. Make it so she is falling apart when she is not near you. I can tell your not alpha enough and are not her ideal man. Your just the safe little puppy dog that keeps pissing on the carpet. She will eventually cheat on you with some dick. Know how I know. Cuz I am usually that Dick. An then once you see what happens you will get all mad and either wither and die or grow up and move on to another level. Hate to be so blunt and cruel but that's what the stars are pointing too. Want to give her the best gift ever. Give her the gift of missing you.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Hey Chino!

Thank you for your words of advice. Well, I just got this email from her...

My dear god,,, can you tell me how i should respond to this?

I am truly at a loss. I won't do anything until I hear back from you guys!

Right now I feel sick to my stomach....

This is her email to me below:

Dear Michael,

I feel I have reached my limit and cannot see you for a while. You are not giving me the space I asked for. I am experiencing your behaviors as too dependent and it's draining me. You can decide what you want to do about Hawaii. I am only asking for about 2 weeks right now.

You think you're doing things for me but oftentimes, you're really doing them for yourself. You think you are not controlling but I'm experiencing you as controlling sometimes.

I regret that you joined my yoga studio and now I don't have a place to escape to. You showed up today after I told you I needed my space-- you knew I go to the 9:30 Sat yoga class. Now I have to go all the way downtown to get my space.

You joined 24 hr under my membership! If you start showing up at my 24 hr Fitness, instead of your Roseville one, I will cancel it.

Now you're looking for a house in Gold River. I'm not interested in moving in with you because I feel so smothered by you already.

I appreciate the flowers I receive but you have another man choose them for you-- you don't ask what flowers I like-- you let another man choose them for you. It's like giving a man money to choose a gift for me. Whenever I look at the flowers, I don't feel good-- instead, I feel that other man's energy is on them.

It is a red flag for me that you were neglecting your cats by keeping them out in the cold and not taking them to the vet or feeding them properly-- you didn't even know they were mostly blind.

You were also neglecting Lily by not taking care of her shots, feeding her properly, or training her.

It's a very big red flag for me that you neglected your health-- e.g., You didn't go to the dentist until it was too late-- I have an aversion to kissing you now because of the two months I had to deal with it.

I want a partner who is his own person, who I can trust to be himself instead of being someone he thinks I want, a man who takes care of his health and is already educated about it. More than ever, I want a man who energizes me.

With love,

Christina

Sent from my iPad