I recently finished with one of these, I fell for her, she left.

Not worth the misery of second guessing yourself and overthinking everything when she becomes too important to you. It's fucking awful.

This just happened to me, too. Basically exact same scenario. I might try to hook up with her again and torture myself a little more though.

JustSomeGuy - don't do it mate. It's really not worth it, she has got you hooked and if you keep going back she will destroy you.

Read the original post of the nature of EMW from Mack 2.0, it is bloody good. She is after everything you have and once she has exhausted you she will move on to someone else and do the same to them.

I know a psychiatrist who had a client in a relationship with an EMW and he recommended to finish it for his sanity. His client wouldn't listen but kept going back to him for advice. Even when he had nothing left, no spirituality, no sexual drive, no respect, no confidence, etc he came running back to the psychiatrist and still believed he could change her. He became empathetic to her condition and it is a condition which takes decades of SPAM to get an EMW to think 'normal' again.

The psychiatrist actually said to him 'who do you think you are? god??', even the psychiatrist admitted despite being 40 years in the profession and an expert in his field he could do very little to help an EMW as the condition is so deeply routed and ingrained into the individual it will take decades.

Luckily I know this psychiatrist and when I described my ex to him he told me run the other way and get out of the relationship as soon as possible.

Take the advice (unless you are like wenzel and are a narcissistic) run the other way, the longer you leave it the more attached and empathetic you will be to her condition, which will make it difficult for you.

Let me add to this that the description in the original post is SPOT ON. Trust me - these women are like succubi - they will consume everything you are if you get into a long term relationship with them. Once they leech on, they will eventually completely consume the very essence of your soul, leaving an empty and shattered shell of what once was a free and ultimately superior human being destined for greatness. Trust me, this happened to me. These women are master manipulators of men. The Succubus has a deep and multi-faceted personality. They'll seem different from all the other girls (in that they'll have both good looks and personality AND they'll be interested in you). You’ll get to know them on a personal level, and you’ll fall completely in love with them. Then one day, if you’re lucky, a piece of her disguise will chip off, and you’ll slowly peel the rest of it away to reveal who she really is: a user. Your attention is her sustenance; she really couldn’t care less about you.



The worst part about succubi is that by the time you realize who they are, it’s too late. You've wasted a chunk of your life chasing after her affection with no reward to speak of. As you look back, you’ll realize all the promises and confessions and compromises were made by you. She had the control all along. All you can do now is make yourself walk away and never look back.



DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU!

Like a naive fool, I saw the wake of men she crucified lay before me, begging for her to come back to them, but I thought I could handle her, and that it would be different for me. I was able to hold onto her longer than any other - years - I even married her - but in the end, she consumed my soul. Only then, when I took the effort to understand this through therapy did I begin to understand her for what she really was.

EVERYTHING that was stated in the original post is TRUE. It's the first time I ever read something that so accurately described this type of woman. BEWARE.

Had a gf like that. It didn't end up well, but what really worries me is that I seem to be attracted to this type of women. Not just sexually, emotionally as well. It's probably them being different than others that WhiteSnake mentioned. Sometimes they seem to be more dense, although now I know that it is a false image.
The problem is I am a wheelchair user, suffering from cerebral palsy and I find it very hard to implement most of PUA tips. On the top of that these EMW seem to be only interesting women that respond to my advances at all.
I know I sound as mentally disturbed person myself, and it is very probable that I am one. It's just that whenever I seek an advice concerning my love life I keep hearing something along the lines: be confident and truthful and you shall find the love of your life.
How the fuck can I be confident if I need help on a daily basis? I mean, at times I do acquire this confidence, but usually by the time I get there I'm already friendzoned.

I think I am attracted to this type of woman because subconsciously I am a bit of a white knight, I think a part of me wants to change them and help them, but there is nothing that can be done.

So how did you handle her during the time that you were married?
These women are people and have issues, like everybody. But not everyone of them is 100% EMW. I think it is an imbalance that you have to cope with if you want to have a relationship with her.
What Rough Operator said I find to be true also. You want to save her and help her. Despite her powerful attempts at breaking your frame.

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-Baddo

Oh crap, soooooo accurate and toooo late I had by heart ripped out through my ass by an EMW last year, wish I could have read this before I met her. I fell ass over tit in love with her, let her move in with me and now I'm alone again with a heap of pain. My life will never be the same, like a hurricane passed through it.

I echo what's been said before, do NOT go there!!

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60 year old nOOb
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

I spent 18 years with one of these. Met when we were teenagers and it ended badly for me. What I discovered though is that these women have a personality disorder. Some common traits include overtly sexual behaviour, narcissism, pathological lying, a history of mood disorders (depression/anxiety) and a general disregard for the needs of others.

These people are often classified as sociopaths and anyone caught in their web needs to get out as soon as possible.
In general, people with a personality disorder cannot be helped, medicated or fixed. This is due to them not seeing themselves as the problem, its always someone else's fault! Since they don't perceive there is anything wrong with them, they never ask for help to resolve the underlying problem.

The best way to deal with them is to avoid them.

Cheers

Mixar

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wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

I think you can post another topic with the subject 'How to test if a women you know is an EMW?'

There has got to be some short quick fire tests that you can do when you first meet a women just to separate an EMW and a women with a normal emotional state?

This way you can avoid from the outset rather than as is the case for most guys you get trapped then find out.

Any clues other then what is mentioned before, which mostly is behavior observed over a period of time.

One test is if you get more loving and attention than you've ever known in your whole life or even known of, then don't relax and keep your radar scanning for signs its going to end suddenly, so you can raise the shields around your heart.

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60 year old nOOb
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

That's the trick, though. By the time you figure it out, it's usually too late. If anyone here has dated multiple EMWs, I'd like to hear more red flags.
Looking back, this was surefire. My EMW seemed WAY too interested early on. I thought it was "love at first sight" sort of thing, since I was falling too, but I am wiser now and know it doesn't work like that. That's just how she, and other EMW's operate. They just drift between people, leeching off their realities.

I've taken a break from the forums over the holidays, and glad to see a lot of people empathizing with this thread, and inadvertently my situation. Good to hear a bit more about personality disorders as well. I'm a bit surprised how enthusiastic and spot-on my OP is, considering I've only dated one EMW myself. Makes me so much more glad I got out, too. I kicked her to the curb about a month ago and recovering from it myself. I feel like I'm getting back to the person I was before I met her. I'm already involved with a new HB7, re-f-closed an old FWB that LJBF'd me about 7 months ago, and have a few more prospects lined up including a HB8/9 29y/o chick (with a PhD!) who messaged me on OKC. Spent a lot more time with friends, kicked up practice with electric and bass guitar, and in general I can tell you guys now that the only thing I miss about my EMW was the sex... and not even that so much. My new HB7 isn't as hot or experienced in bed as the EMW, but my word she treats me so much better. And the sex is more passionate/intimate, if that makes sense.

The other advice about "wanting to fix" your EMW... just forget it. Personality disorders, save for BPD, are indeed so rooted in the person that it's extremely difficult with therapy to "normalize" your EMW, and to bring your favorite persona of her to the front. Most people with PD's don't take any responsibility for themselves, suffer a lifetime of childhood emotional abuse/trauma, and very rarely get better because they don't take SPAM seriously. I'm only an undergrad psych student, but I did a metric shit load of independent research on PDs and Borderlines in particular.

If I had to sum up EMWs - recognize, get what you want and get the hell out. Run. RUN. RUN AS FUCKING FAR AND FAST AS YOU CAN.

Not knowing what an EMW was, I set about healing all the wounds and scars left by her abusive father and narcissistic husband, using love as my medication. Her MENSA brain was quick to understand her damage and concepts like Stockholm Syndrome that she suffered from. I slowly built up her self-esteem and confidence in herself and taught her to be assertive again.

The result? I created a monstrous bitch of a succubus!!! She now fully understands the power she has over men and has turned all those EMW "faults" into WMD's, Weapons of Male Destruction! Her first target after she dumped me is her narcisstic ex husband and based only on her promise to "consider taking him back" and without even seeing her (he's working on contract in Saudi Arabia), he's fully supporting her financially, renovating her parents house at huge cost, renting and furnishing a house for her near a University and paying for to get her degree. Not to mention showering her with exotic gifts. She now OWNS his soul totally!

I have the greatest pity for any man that enters her sphere of influence. I'd never fall under her spell again, but, you know what? If she said jump on a plane and come spend a few days with me, I'm sooooo there!!!

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60 year old nOOb
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

Firstly, spending a lot money does not prove she owns him. Maybe he's doing it on a whim, or expects it to pay out sexually or else as he comes back. As for now he may even be sleeping with other women so be careful about your assumptions.
Secondly, I get the point about the influence, but it is likely to me that you are deluding yourself (no offence). I've recently attempted contacting my EMW and yeah, at first we had a laugh, but then I started to care for her by falling in the web of "everyone treats me so bad, when I try for them so hard" which is pure bullshit ;]

Naa, she owns him ok, she's giving me a running commentary on everything that's going on and enjoying the crap out of her power. His sole goal in life is to marry her again. He's her bitch!

I'm the one getting the 'didn't treat me right when I tried so hard' bullsh1t

Strangely though, this one and others I've identified since, have not been at all materialistic, very generous in fact. The ex is an exception, because she feels he owes her for ruining her life but I actually scored financially out of our relationship, in the form of furniture etc, that was too expensive to transport back to her home town and she liked the way she decorated my place, so didn't want to undo that by taking her curtains etc. The good in her is exceptional, but so is the bad. She made the ex buy her new stuff so lost nothing.

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60 year old nOOb
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.