Hi guys,

I´m 18 and I´ve more or less put my pua-lifestyle at a freeze

Got in to the game a bit more than a year ago. Went from being a virgin to now having slept with 12 girls (would have been way higher with an own place) and usually make out with some each week. I´ve also gained a lot of new cherissed friends. My game, which by the way is natrual, is very good compared to most others at my age. I haven´t slept or made out with anyone for over a month now though.

I just feel kind of sick of this instant hook up thing. So I stopped doing it. I´m very happy with myself now, probably the most happy I´ve ever been. I´m starting to feel AFC growing in me though. Last night I was at a schoolparty. A lot of people hooked up. I didn´t. There was one girl I wanted so I took a couple of shoots with moderate success (probably a total of 30min + of dancing on different occasions, no kiss close though. no closer than my cheek against hers). Then when I couldn´t get it with this girl, I took an overview of the party. There was no one I wanted. Sure, there was hot girls but I didn´t feel like trying anything on them, since I might succeed and then actually have to spend time with them.

If this goes on though, the party life style I worked so hard for to build might disappear and I don´t want that even though I´m very happy with my self at the moment.

So the questions I would love to get your insights to are:
Has any of you gotten sick of PUA? Maybe started focusing on other areas in life?

I´ve been trying to game girls so I get to know them before I do anything with them, thoughts on this? Any helpers or directions? Preferably game that can get me dates before I kiss close (my before game was super physical - I once got an snl in 10 minutes without saying more than five words before I came).

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

Well, I'm not an expert but you said If you're happy, it probably means that you're doing something right. If you don't want to hookup with a different girl every other day, that's fine and it doesn't make you an AFC.

Think for a second here. You are a cool PUA, do you really want to be some lame AFC? Hypothetical question --- No you don't. Keep on gaming on friend.

You might be ready for a proper relationship. Do you like the thought of someone in your life you can share other things with than just havin sex? Maybe you are looking for deeper emotional connections with a girl? Someone you want to "share" your life with for a while?

That might sound very un-pua and quite a few ppl might not agree with what I say, but I reckon you should use your pua skills to screen for a hot girl you really connect with and try to have a proper relationship. Even "mastering" relationships has to be learned and it's quite different to the pua lifestyle. Gaming becomes much less, values like trust and stability/security come into play...

Yes Thank you. This is exactly what I´ve been feeling. I need a taste of relationship to see if that would satisfy the part of the that craves pussy. It´s kind of like starting over though. I´ve dealt with a lot of inner shit lately to make me more manly and non needy - qualities women don´t notice if they just hook up with me. I´ve had some development. Today I had a study date with a hot friend. I told her I was going to kiss her and date her. I didn´t close anything, but had some positive reactions.

I realize the community has a sound approach to getting girlfriends: fuck a girl and then fuck her again if you want to. However, that doesn´t resonate with my current frame. I either want something real and serious, or nothing at all (I still fuck my fuckbuddies though:P).

Is there any good "getting in to a realationship-classy style"game? Right now I´m just using conversation game to get girls to talk as much as possible while trying to frame it as a serious interaction.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

The best way I can explain it is using the dog anology. Gaming women is like looking after a friend's dog. You of course have do the right things: feed it, water it, and let it out. If it's bad or gets out of line you just tell it "No!" and reprimand it and try to correct it's behavior the best you can. But that's pretty much it. You just keep it in line and give it what it needs to survive.

But gaming a woman is nothing like having a relationship with a woman. Having a relationship with a woman is more akin to TRAINING a dog. Dog training is very involved. You need to spend a lot of time with it. Teach it commands, give it treats, and truly understand the psychology of the animal. It requires constant attention and ongoing training. And you need a close bond with the dog because it needs to trust you if it's going to follow your commands. A trained animal is capable of doing so much more than an untrained one. You'll be proud of it and want to show it off to others so they can see what it can do.

You need to develop that mindset towards women. It doesn't mean treat them like shit like you would a dog. But it means that you need to understand their psychology and thought process and teach them how they should behave around you. Punish their bad behaviors and attitudes, and reward their good deeds: putting out, being nice to you, etc.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

But then, this is what I do with all of my girlfriends, even if I have more than one? How would that fit into this?

You can train more than one animal. Siegfried and Roy had like 40 tigers in their show, all well trained.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

You can approach it the same way you are used to, it obviously has worked for you in the past... The MOST important thing is to screen your girls properly! Apart from looks, you want her to be "fitting" to you as much as possible. How does she treat her friends? Is she superficial? Drama queen? Of course you define yourself what's good. Make a list of the traits you are looking for in a girl. You screen for your most important trait first obviously.

This is so crucial, it can't be said enough!!

I just give you a very basic example of a trait that most likely won't be of much importance to you:
If you are an active person, you want to find someone who doesn't get tired easily and just wants to relax all the time.
If you are chilled, you don't want an hyperactive girl who you always have to tame so she doesn't explode.

Of course chances are you won't find the perfect one, and what you are looking for in a girl might change over the years, but you should choose someone who complies with your most important traits. If you want a monogamy relationship, don't choose a bitch. If you are looking for fun, don't choose a downer.

While training has its place in a relationship, you want to "train" her as LESS as possible. Let's face it, the most important traits in a person are the hardest to train and quite often you CAN NOT change a girl!
This is a perfect example: Roy got bitten in the neck by one of his closest tigers, which had been trained by him since it was a cub! It took Roy more than 2 years to talk and walk again. Moral of the story: Don't give your heart to someone who does not match your personality. It might work for a while... and when you wake up, it will take you ages to recover!

Thank you very much, this was helpfull. I realize that my game is enough at its current level as I have a ton of hot friends, who in turn also have a ton of hot friends. I need to practice this screening process. At the moment I can only tell if girls are attracted to me, I am not able to say if they suit me.

Is there any different kind of frame control though, when you are looking for a relationship? Maybe less attraction, more connection and less action (pretty much how I changed my game since I left the hook-up game).

Sidenote update on the "date" I had yesterday: The girl called me today and told me to come to school to finish some work with her (she hasn´t done that before). I said that this wasn´t appropriate as I´m gonna make her my girlfriend. Then she said I need to spend more time with her to do that. I said some other time (it didn´t suit me to go to school). I kind of feel that I´m still in the friendzone, but it´s a positive step on how I create girlfriends.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

I don't think there's any other frame control IN THE BEGINNING.
Continue to hook up with as many girls as you want, but this time give it a PURPOSE. Your purpose is to find the right one which classifies as girlfriend material. Once you found one, focus a bit more on her than on others I'd say. While I do believe that relationships are different from all that pua stuff, a lot of things, especially about your frame, remain the same. Start being more affectionate with the right one, but not to a point where you become clingy. It's really hard for me to describe, maybe someone else here can do better...

Let me think a bit about it... How is it going anyway?

Cmd, you have been a great help. Since I decided to stop hook-up life, I´ve matured a lot. I´m definitely not going back in the closest months.

To answer your question:
It´s going better, girls are treating me much more seriously and with more respect. This basically comes from me not taking action and risking it but still showing very high value. Currently only gaming two girls. One of which I´ve mentioned earlier throughout the thread (friendzoned but told her I´m gonna date her), she called me twice since Friday and we have plans to hang out on Thursday. I still feel very friendzoned and that she is hunting validation, but still... progress.

I need to go out more though. But I´m progressing so life is good.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself

Sounds good so far. From my impression I don't see a problem in the whole friendship thing. I'm pretty sure you know how to turn this around and escalate when the time is right..
I like how you are not rushing into things and taking your time to see if she can match your expectations of a girlfriend.

If you do decide to escalate, don't be discouraged if it doesn't work the first few times and she gives you a "just want to be friends" line. Agree and say she's right, then escalate again later/next time. Don't apologize for escalating tho, if she calls you out on it just say you are just being yourself around her... Persistence is important, and you are not insecure about yourself. I think you know all that stuff anyway...

Keep updating!

Yes thank you. It is really hard to stay congruent with this but each time we conversate I state my intentions. She accepted an invitation to a party last night, so had some alone time there. Unfortunately I got bored with her and spent most of the time with friends (both male and hot female). She flirted with a friend of mine so I´ve pretty much nexted her. Actually made out with the first new girl since like three months (this girl used to have a crush on me and shes gotten really hot so it shows promise).

I´ve learnt a lot the last three months since I left hook-up game. The most important thing I´ve learned is that you have to keep your manly frame at all times when with a girl you like. As opposed to just hooking up with girls when they only need to see that frame for 1-120 minutes.

I think the reason I am so much happier is that I am keeping congruent with my manliness as opposed to before when I just did whatever to get laid, bjs etc. Now that I realize this, I might not be so strict on not hooking up with girls.

_________________
No matter what, I must live without regret

Life is good

Live it for yourself