You know what, I'm actually going to treat this like a blog and throw a lot of thoughts in here. People reading it hoping for a lot of stories will not find them here at this point. I have to skim the scum of thoughts off of my head before I go out and game anyways, I might as well drop them in here if they relate to PUA (which they do, recently).
I compare busking and PU a lot. It's the same- you're connecting with strangers and generating a very personal moment for them, possibly just for a few seconds, but sometimes they stay and listen. Oh, hell, I'll throw in a number close story right here cause it is a journal.
Number Close #4
I was playing at the Berri-Uqam metro on Saturday night, feeling in a mighty high and fine mood, and finished a song just as a pretty girl was walking past. I don't feel like giving ratings yet. She was cute, alright? Without any other plan, I stepped up and said "Hi!"
She smiled, she took her headphones out and said "Yes?"
I said "You're cute. I couldn't let you walk past without saying that to you."
*fluff, which I enjoy a lot, but don't always remember*
"Will you play me a song?" she asked with a smile. Not a shy one. Cool.
"Yeah. What kind of song would you like to hear?"
"Do you know the movie Amelie?"
When you're an accordion player you hear this one a lot. So I say girl, stand against that wall for a second, then I stand back (out of the way of foot traffic) and play
this song for her. I will probably talk more about the experience of playing a song for somebody, it's the damnedest thing and I still haven't gotten a handle on it, but the frame I try and stick with is "this is something enjoyable I would love to share with you."
In retrospect, asking her to come stand next to me would have been more in a "let's be together" frame
After that, we came back together. She obviously enjoyed the song, at the same time being unsure about something. I would guess the thought ran like "What is going on, does this happen in real life?". Which, now that I think of it, is what I always want to happen when I seduce a girl. Heh, heh, heh.
Remembering something that Heartnet's Daygame workshop showed me, I said "why don't we get over here out of the way..." and led her over to the corner. I said fluff, fluff, ya de ya da, the feelings were good but the words were forgettable, etc, you know how this goes. I said I'd love to make her dinner sometime, and got her number from her.
The damndest thing. Body language is magical. I was nervous. I looked down and realised I was squeezing one hand with the other in a typical "Ooo..gee..." pose. And of course as soon as I looked down, she did too, and then we both looked up, and she was a little less certain that I was the confident man. So was I. But frame is magical too. Can't say that I kept it 100%, but I recovered some. I told her I had to get back to work, and I would call her sometime.
What I learnt:
Intent. I know the reasons for my nerves, and for her uncertainty. Back when I was a teenager, and sex was a foreign concept to me, my frame was always "There's a pretty girl. I'd better not freak her out by making her think I want to have sex with her." I'm smiling as I write this, because I am so amused and love myself, but damn was that frustrating.
Now I'm learning a new frame. "There's a pretty girl. Me and her are already having great sex, so let's figure out how." Still not sure if that's quite it, but I will learn what it is. Anyways, if there's one thing I could focus on, it would be sexual intent- knowing that I want to fuck her, and making sure she knows it too.
As always, all tips are appreciated!
Quote of the day:
"I was way too drunk to remember all the details, but I do know this: In the light of an opportunity to give and share the pleasure of a sexual experience - like how a musician gives his audience the pleasure of feeling all that he has felt through his music - I was able to forget about the selfish concerns of mine that I was trying to drink away. That is what an artist does: he gives. He is able to separate himself from his own fears, anxieties, sorrows, baggage, etc. and just give the best he's got. HBVampire desired to be loved that night, as every woman does at all times. Since the type of artist I am just happens to be the type that gives love and pleasure, I was able to orchestrate a magnificent impromptu symphony."
From Chief's PUA blog.
CHAT