Trust me man this is normal. I had a super shit day today too! I have the same fears and doubts and so do most rAFC's and aspiring PUA's so much so that Pick-Up has a 95% failure rate. There are positives to failure and they all start with re-examination. you gotta see where your failing and improve upon that and repeat! I restarted my journal and am completly rebuilding my game day by day, piece by piece. Cant say whats best for you but you gotta look for improvements. The road is hard and most dont make it! but with determination and hard work i'm sure we both can become the 5%. Glad you havent quit! see you at the top man.

keep working hard, you have inspired me
Great-1

Hey man, thanks a lot for the kind words and inspiration.

It is true that most people who get into this don't really ever 'succeed'. And that's good advice when you say the positive to failure is that it will cause you to re-examine and try to improve where you feel your shortcomings are. But that's what we have to do, just keep moving forward and try to see where you're going wrong and change those things.

For me personally, the two things to me that stand out that will help me the most is that I still play it too safe, and need to take more 'risk', and I just need to approach more and quit waiting for easy approaches only. If I just push myself and break through this plateau that I seem to be stuck on, then I'm sure things will start to look better.

But again, thanks for the kind words and following along. And best of luck with your game too.

Wednesday

Well yesterday I was bloodied and beaten, but I got off the stool and answered the bell for another round.

Today was a good day, even though I didn’t come away with any solid prospects or anything, but what was good was that I did push myself a bit out of my comfort zone and had several interactions.

1) Girl on the bench – probably the best one of the day.

I was waiting for my first class when I noticed this girl with long dark brown straight hair sitting on one of the benches in a large open area. I sat down beside her and just got out my book and started to look it over. She had her headphones in and appeared to be either playing some game or watching something on her laptop. These are situations where I normally don’t bother trying to talk to her, but today I decided I was going to. I also noticed that despite having her headphones in and her laptop open, she was looking up every so often so whatever she was doing, it didn’t have her 100% undivided attention. There were also other people around, and that’s usually another no-go for me, but not today.

So after a few minutes, I looked over and commented on how there is always something going on in this part of the school (there are always booths, displays, or people handing out flyers for something). She immediately seemed quite friendly and agreed saying that she always notices the same thing. We talked for about 10 minutes, and I found out that it’s her first year at the school, which likely meant that she just turned 18, although I didn’t ask as I generally don’t like to bring up age.

She seemed interested in talking, but I let the conversation die out after close to 10 minutes just to see if she’d make an effort to reengage, but she didn’t. I decided at that point that she seemed outgoing and friendly enough that if she wanted to talk she would have said something to me, and I honestly sort of got the vibe that she was just being friendly towards me. I was going to get up with her as she left, because we had class at the same time, but since she didn’t try to continue to talk I decided that I wasn’t going to bother as this was at the very start of the day after I just got there. I sort of regret that now, because I made a comment to her as she was almost leaving, and she seemed to light right up and it seemed for that moment that she really did want to talk, or at least she was just as friendly as she was before. But I was kinda late, and I hadn’t packed up yet, so we just said see you later and that was it.

2) Missed opportunity – Girl in my class

I’ve seen this girl in class before, and I did speak to her very briefly once about something school related before class started. Since then, she’s sort of looked at me a few times, but she’ll have a slight smile on her face, but doesn’t really make eye contact with me. It’s hard to explain. Anyways, she usually sits in my general area, and today she sat in the row in front of me, a few seats to my left. Other days I’ve seen her take the exit that I usually do, so my plan was to stop her to say hi as we were leaving. Well as my luck would have it, she left out a different exit today! Hopefully I’ll see her on Friday.

3) Girl in the lunch cafeteria area – went nowhere

I was finishing my lunch on these bar stools that are all lined up in a row. Just as I finished, a nice looking chick with dark brown hair sits on the seat right beside me. She got out her laptop and some books, and as she was doing that I commented on how sometimes these are the only seats that you can get around here. She agreed and said a word or two, but I don’t even think she looked at me to make eye contact, and she gave off the vibe that she was there to work and wasn’t into chatting with me at all. She wasn’t rude, but her lack of eye contact, voice tone and body language were enough for me to just leave it at that. I stayed for five or ten minutes longer while I looked at my notes then I took off.

4) Girl on the bench in front of the library – completely ignored me!

This one sort of made me laugh. I was sitting on the bench in front of the library, and this brown haired chick that was decent looking but nothing too great came and sat on the same bench. The hallway was very busy and loud at the time, and I made a comment to her, but she didn’t even flinch or look up at all. And I turned and faced her when I said it, and my voice was plenty loud enough even though the hallway was busy. Either she was zoned out, or thought I said something to someone passing by, or she intentionally ignored me. Just after I said that, she had gotten out her lunch as was starting to eat, so I didn’t bother saying it again. I just sort of chuckled under my breath, stayed for a few minutes longer then took off.

5) An aborted attempt at a ‘drive-by’ direct approach compliment.

Daniel Balboa suggested a few days ago that I should try to just walk up to a chick and say something like ‘you’re beautiful’ and walk away and not have any attachment to her reaction at all. I agreed that it would be a good idea, and jokingly refereed to that as a ‘drive-by direct approach’.

I was in another section of campus that I don’t normally go in, and I was thinking about the drive-by approach a lot and was kind of pumped to do it. I saw this Asian chick coming down the hallway towards me, and my plan was to just stop her and ask her where a building/office was and as I was walking away give her the compliment. Well I probably picked the wrong chick, as she was walking really fast down the hallway with her head staring at her shoes, but for whatever reason I stopped her anyways. She seemed like she was in a rush, and wasn’t rude at all, but just didn’t seem like she wanted to be bothered. I know I could have said something anyways, but at the time I thought that she didn’t ‘deserve’ my compliment just based on how her demeanor was when I stopped her. Anyways, I just said thanks and she was on her way.

6) My first drive-by direct approach – sort of.

I was in the same general area of the campus, and I saw this quite thin Asian chick looking at a sign that showed the room numbers for the building. I walked up to her and asked if she was a student in the building, and that I was looking for an office. She replied by saying that she wasn’t, but she was looking for an office to get her midterm from. We talked a little bit, and as we walked away from the sign, we passed an office that looked like it was the one she was looking for, so she said see you later and was gone before I had a chance to say anything more than bye.

So I walked away and went down a set of stairs, and came up a different way, and I saw her walking right towards me, so I said ‘hey, guess that wasn’t the right office’. So she stopped and we said another word or two, and just as we were about to part ways I said something like, ‘well this is pretty random, but I think you’re really cute...... see you later’. She had a big smile on her face and said thank you. I said this as I was beginning to turn and walk away, so that was about it. Nothing major, but I did do something that I haven’t done before, so I was happy with the outcome overall.

General Thoughts

Even though I didn’t come away with any numbers or prospects today, I did feel like it was a good day overall. Having a day like yesterday did motivate me, and it felt good to have a bit of enthusiasm running through me, and it also felt really good to successfully push myself out of my comfort zone and give that direct compliment. Even though it wasn’t much, I must admit that after that I felt pretty good about it.

And I really do think that this is the start of me pushing things to the next level. I walked around today and felt like I was on a mission, or I had a purpose in mind. I was pretty focused and was looking for opportunities, and not only the ‘softballs’ that I usually wait for. It seemed that yesterday did have an effect on me, and I did my best to turn a shit day into a positive by trying my best to come back a bit stronger and with some renewed motivation. I did approach quite a few girls today, and that’s usually much more than I have done on a typical day at the school.

Like I’ve said before, I’m not expecting miracles or radical transformations overnight, so as long as I keep the mindset that I did today then I should be on the right track. And what was sort of funny, was that as I was about to say something to the chick that ignored me on the bench in front of the library, I sort of hesitated, then I remembered yesterday and said to myself “Someday there will be no tomorrow”, then I immediately spoke to her after that. I actually found myself thinking that phrase to myself a few times today.

The bottom line is that I really just need to approach more. Like I mentioned yesterday, since I don’t approach and get new prospects that often, I’m left relying on a few select chicks, and when they don’t pan out, it’s a real letdown. Instead, I need to get out there and be much more proactive in looking for new girls to talk to all the time, instead of just sitting around waiting for the golden opportunities, softballs, or the really easy approaches.

I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s now a numbers game to me because it’s not, as I’m still going to be very selective on whom I approach. I just need to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone and start approaching more. Because the more chances that I have, then the more likely it will be that at least one of them will end up working out. And I am somewhat excited in a way, because I truly feel like I am starting to ‘turn the corner’ now after doing what I did today and I believe that I am now starting to take my game up a notch. It’s about time! I’ve definitely been stuck on a bit of a plateau lately, and it feels great to feel like I’m starting to push my way through it.

I read your posts last night and I intentionally didn't reply because I wanted to see how you'd respond today. And you stepped up and used it as motivation. I think that's great. Everyone endeavor has its inevitable downturns and its pushing through those and using them to improve that gets you closer to where you want to be. The important thing is to take that feeling, which is now fresh, and cultivate it in a way that if forms a new habit, so that you continue to act in advantageous ways.

Yea man, I agree, I need to remember that feeling I had the other day and use it to my advantage, which I have done so far. Every so often I'll have a day like that and be kind of pissed off and a bit discouraged, but oddly enough I think having a day like that has actually been a great benefit to me, because I have used it as motivation. And like you said, it's also important for me to keep this up and make it a habit so that I move past where I was at and don't 'fall' back down to that level, if that makes sense.

I've felt different walking around the school for the last two days now. It's like I have a renewed sense of purpose, and I just feel motivated now to try to squash those inner demons which have held me back for awhile. So far so good, and today was another good day. But thanks again for the encouraging and inspiring words. That line 'someday there will be no tomorrow' really lit a fire under my ass! lol

Thursday

Well it seems that the bad day on Tuesday has proven to be a benefit, because I’ve really tried hard to bounce back from that and come back stronger. And I had another good day today, too.

I made two good approaches today, and came away with what looks to be a solid prospect, in a cute Russian blonde chick.

First approach – Asian girl

I saw this Asian chick with a nice looking body sitting by herself on a bench outside a classroom. I spotted her from a bit of a distance, so I walked up and said something like “hey, I’m gonna share this bench with you for a few minutes”. She smiled and said “sure” or something like that and moved her stuff over a tiny bit. So I sat down, and a moment or two later I asked her something about her major, and we fluff talked about school etc for about 15-20 minutes.

Unfortunately, she did have kind of bad acne, but her body looked to be really nice. During the chat, I was really debating whether I could look past that or not, but it was kind of bad. It wasn’t extreme or anything, but it was more than just one or two marks. But she seemed really nice and friendly, and we had a good chat going back and forth.

After I asked her something about work, or what else she does for fun, I said something like “so what else do you do that takes up your time, do you have a boyfriend?” She said that she doesn’t. Then she asked me the same question. And she also asked what my name was, which are usually signs of interest.

Well I left that question kind of late, because she had to go to class a few minutes after that, and I still hadn’t decided whether I wanted to get her number or suggest we go out. When the time came for her to leave a few minutes later, she didn’t really linger at all, she just grabbed her stuff, got up, and we said see you later, or see you around or something and she went into the classroom. So that was about it.

Russian blondie

I got my lunch in the same cafeteria-type area that I usually do, and got a seat at the same bar stools that are all lined up in a row. I could only see her from the back, but I spotted an empty seat next to this chick with long straight blonde hair. So I figured that I should sit beside her, even though it wasn’t the greatest timing because I was just going to start to eat. But I sat next to her anyways.

These seats were facing a window, and the sun was coming directly into my eyes, and it was quite hot. I noticed her lean back a bit, or what looked to be her adjusting herself because of the sun and/or the heat. So I just looked over and said something like, “wow that sun coming in makes it feel like a greenhouse in here, it’s pretty hot!”, or something like that. She gave a little laugh and agreed. From there we just started to talk about regular school-type things. I found it kind of hard to talk, because I was eating at the same time, but I also wanted to keep the conversation going and not be talking with my mouth full. She showed a lot of interest from the start, and was very friendly and gave me really strong eye contact for the entire time we spoke. And since I was eating, she made quite a bit of effort to keep the conversation going while I took a few bites in between talking.

She has a pretty cute accent, and has been in the country for a handful of years or so. She has a really pretty face, natural blonde long straight hair, blue eyes, and was wearing a low-cut shirt which sort of exposed her perky-looking breasts which looked to be at least a C, if not a D. I’m usually not a ‘big breast’ type of guy, but as long as they look reasonably firm, then it’s all good. My personal ‘ideal’ size would be a B to a small to medium C for anyone who gives a fuck to know that!. Anyways, so we talked back and forth while I ate my lunch.

I asked her if she had a boyfriend maybe 10 or 15 minutes into the chat in the same way as I asked the Asian girl earlier. She said she was single, and she then asked me if I had one. I said something like “me, no I don’t have a boyfriend either”, with a smirk/smile. She got a kick out of that and laughed, but then I said something like “haha nah, I’m kidding, I don’t have a girlfriend either, I’m single.” So instead of waiting, I suggested we go out sometime and we exchange numbers. She took my name and number and put it into her phone, then called me on the spot. It was funny, I forgot her name actually, so as I was creating a new contact to store her number, I just asked her ‘how do you spell your name?’ to avoid having to tell her that I forgot!. What’s funny was that it was a kind of Anglo-sounding name, but it had a bit of a different spelling, so I said something like ‘I knew it wouldn’t be spelled the way it sounded!’.

It looks to be pretty solid, but we’ll see what happens. Through our regular chat before I got her number, I did find out that she’s in her last year there, and that she was saying that she’s extremely busy for the month of November, but once December hits she’ll have tons of free time. So if things do pan out, it could start off kind of slow with me just maybe seeing her at the school a few times if she really is that busy that she can’t get out for a night. But we’ll see, I’m sure if she’s into me she’ll be able to make a little bit of time. So anyways, I didn’t set a specific time or date for our ‘day 2’, so I’ll see how it goes when I talk to her next.

What was also kind of funny was that the whole time we were talking she was sitting on the stool, and when we both got up she was basically the same height as I am, or even a half an inch taller! And usually I don’t really like that, but I noticed that she did have boots on that looked to have an inch to an inch and a half heel on them. So if we do end up getting together I’ll just hope she wears flat bottomed shoes!

General Thoughts

Not too much to say today, but like I mentioned in my last post, I feel a renewed sense of desire or purpose there, and also I just feel like I have a bit more confidence which is kind of odd considering it’s coming off of a day where I was rejected and felt pretty beat down. But I think the other day just made me stop and think to myself that it’s time to get serious here and no more fucking around. I just need to stop pussying around and just make something happen. Don’t wait for something to come to me, go out there and make it happen. And again, that quote "Someday there will be no tomorrow" has proven to be a motivator for me.

And it’s hard to describe, but I just sort of feel different walking around for the last two days, almost like I’m seeing things clearer now, and almost like I see so many more opportunities now compared to the past few weeks. It’s actually a good feeling, a fresh feeling, and like I was saying yesterday, I really do feel like I have sort of turned the corner and taken my game up one more notch. There’s still a long ways to go, not doubt, but I do feel that I have I have made some progress, which feels great.

Friday

Another good day today. I thought I had a solid prospect but it just wasn’t meant to be. But I did push myself today doing a few minor things that I normally wouldn’t have done.

Fridays are pretty slow at the school, but I did manage one good approach which led to a good conversation.

Russian Blonde – the girl from yesterday

I texted her saying that it was nice talking to her yesterday, and that we should meet up on campus next week. She said during our conversation yesterday that she likes to talk on the phone rather than text, so within 30 seconds of me sending the text she called me. So she asked me if I was going to be on campus on Monday, so as it stands now we’ll see each other on Monday.

Well she definitely seems interested, and I’m half tempted to ask her if she wants to go out this weekend and do something, but since I already made plans with her for Monday, I’m not sure if I’ll bother. I just said we could do something next week just because she was saying how much work etc that she had to do. But I should get on this one and move it forward asap, as I’ve learned over time that you have to strike while the iron is hot.

But this one looks to be pretty promising so far.

Brunette Russian Girl

Well I ended up talking to another Russian chick today.

I was walking in one of the buildings when I came across this area that had several couches all arranged in a cluster-type formation. This is the same area where I saw ‘Asian direct dude’ work his magic a week or two ago.

Anyways, I was walking and saw this chick with brown hair sitting on one of the small couch seats with her feet up doing some work. There was another set of couch seats pretty much right across from her four or five feet away. I could only see her from the side as I approached, so I stopped, started to get something out of my bag while I was still standing and got a better look at her. She looked really hot, so I sat down and got out my book. I noticed that she had her headphones in, and had one of those little tablet things and was also taking notes and looked like she was quite busy. To make the situation even worse, there were also other people all around on each of the other seats in the area. Normally a situation like that would be a write-off for me, but I decided that I should stick around for a few minutes to see how it went.

Well she did seem very busy, but after a few minutes I noticed that she sort of took a slight break from what she was doing. I couldn’t think of anything really significant to say, so I thought I’d ask her about her tablet, and mention that I was thinking of getting one and see what she thought of it etc. So, I said excuse me, and pointed at her tablet and ended up saying something like “hey, I noticed you have one of those .. I was thinking of getting one for class, how do you like it?” So she took her earpiece out and we fluffed about laptops and tablets for about 2 minutes. She seemed quite friendly and nice, but I noticed that she had the earpiece in her hand and seemed that she wanted to put it back in, so I just let things die off and let her get back to her work, as she did seem like she was quite busy.

Well I stayed there for maybe close to 10 minutes longer just reading and looking over my own notes, and I noticed that she started to get distracted a bit again and was looking around a little, and doodled a bit on her book. I was just leaning back on the couch with my arm draped over one side just relaxed and comfortable, and so I thought I’d give it another go and I said something like “so are you an art student? .. I noticed you were drawing something on your book” So she said she wasn’t, and she seemed very friendly again and we started to talk about school for the next five minutes. So I asked her what she’s working on now, and she told me that she’s doing some last minute studying for an exam, and that she has to write it in 20 minutes. So I said oh, ok, that’s cool well I’ll let you get back to your studying then, I don’t want to bother you and take up your last bit of study time. And she said no it’s ok, I’m only reviewing, I can still talk. So when she said that, I was thinking that this is on. This chick has an exam she’s studying for, and she’s willing to stop what she’s doing and talk to me, a guy she just met. Well anyways, we had a really good conversation, and she gave me excellent eye contact, lots of smiles, and we had a nice chat for the next 10 or 15 minutes.

She was starting to pack up her stuff and make her way to write her exam, and I was thinking there’s no way I’m going to let her walk away without taking a shot. So she said “wish me luck”, so I did, then I said something like “well hey, before you go, I’ve gotta ask you if you have a boyfriend”. So she said yes, she does. So in a playful disappointed sort of tone with a smile I said something like “aww, really, damn”, and she played back with the same sort of disappointed sounding “aww yeeaaa, I do”. We did seem to get along quite well. So after that I said something like “ok, well I think you’re really cute, so I couldn’t let you walk away without finding that out first”, and she lit up with a big smile and said “aww thank you”, and she came up to me and shook my hand for the second time and said that it was really nice to meet me. And of course I said the same back to her.

That was a shame, she was a really hot girl, and we seemed to get along quite well. She also seemed like a very smart, mature girl too, with eventual plans to do her PhD. She’s the type that would be a keeper. She had dark brown hair, pretty straight, part way down her back, she was nice and petite with an in shape, firm-looking body. She had a very pretty face, nice skin, nice firm-looking B cup and was probably in the range of 5’3 and 105 lbs. I like petite girls, so it was a real shame to see her walk away, but hey, I tried.

General Thoughts

Well the week certainly started out pretty rough, but I turned things around and finished off quite strong. Well it looks like I have a pretty solid prospect in Russian blondie going on, so that’s exactly what I needed after the weak start and my minor meltdown that I had on Tuesday.

Today was a good day too, even though I didn’t end up getting the Russian brunette. I pushed myself to do a few things that I normally wouldn’t do, so I’m certainly happy about that. I opened a chick with headphones on, and there were also other people pretty close by. And I re-opened her for a second time, making her take the earpiece out again. And I also asked her if she had a boyfriend, and also gave her a direct compliment by telling her that she’s really cute. And it was all so smooth and natural too. I wasn’t nervous in the slightest. For me, as long as I do that and get those questions out of the way early, at least for me it seems so much easier than if I get to know the chick a bit, like School T-shirt girl, then end up asking her a few weeks later. To me at least, asking after that amount of time has passed just makes it awkward. And this chick is definitely better looking that T-shirt girl, for sure.

So just doing what I did today just gave me even more confidence, and I feel some real solid momentum starting to build behind me. Even though she said she had a boyfriend, that didn’t faze me one bit, I just made a little playful comment about it, and everything was cool. I don’t know, the whole thing was just really smooth, with no stumbles or awkwardness at all.

Time is flying so fast though, there is only three, maybe four weeks left then I’ll be off for close to a month on Christmas break. I can probably make some trips to the school during exam period up until Dec 22 or so and make some approaches, but we’ll see how things go. But, to wrap things up, I’m definitely happy about this week overall.

can you send me a message on how to transition from such indirect openers you use to a conversation.
Ive tried going from my opener which is like 'its a nice day today' or 'where is the campus gym' to standard stuff like I'll ask 'whats your name?' after that but she is already starting to leave at that point or leaves after i get her name (body language shows she is just thinking I am asking questions to get somewhere)

_________________
Just trying to meet a 10.

Hey, well I’ll start off by saying that all of my approaches are done on girls that are already sitting down and not on the move walking somewhere. There’s nothing wrong with stopping a moving target, but you will run into situations where she’s busy or on her way somewhere and she can’t or won’t stop to talk. Whenever she’s walking, it obviously means that she’s going somewhere, and you’re stopping her from getting there.

Personally, I’ll usually wait a bit before I ask a girl her name, or sometimes she’ll ask mine if we’ve been talking for more than a few minutes. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with asking her for her name sooner, but I wouldn’t say that as the very next thing you say after asking where the gym is. To me anyways, it wouldn’t seem congruent, and it would sort of seem like you’re jumping all over the place. If she gives you directions to the gym, then I think it’s a good idea to at least make a comment about it or at least say one more thing about it before you move on to something else.

In that case, I might ask another question about the gym, or make a statement about it, then see her reaction or how she responds to it. A few examples might be:

“Have you ever been there, is it pretty good?”
“Do you know if they have free weights or is it mostly machines?”
“That’s a far walk, is there parking spots there if I just want to drive over?”
“I remember hearing that it’s pretty busy during the day, do you ever train there?”
“Can we just get in with our student card, or is there a membership fee too?”
Etc, etc.

This way, it makes it seem like you’re legitimately interested in what you asked her, instead of dropping the whole subject and immediately going for her name then trying to change subjects immediately after that or thinking of something else to say. And it will also keep her there for an extra moment or two so she doesn’t start to leave once she tells you where it is. I’d have a second question about the gym ready.

If the girl is somewhat talkative, then you can branch off of her responses to any of the things she says in response to your question/statement about the gym. Maybe she’ll be into the gym and she might have a few things to say about it, if not, then you can move on to something else. And I’d even have a reply ready in case she doesn’t know where it is. You could even say that you asked some dude before, and he said go left here ,right there, etc and you basically ended up back in the same spot! Or make up something about how you asked someone, but they weren’t much help. At least it’ll give her a chance to say something else. You could even ask her, which office do you think I could ask at that’s close to here? Just have something ready.

But if she does know where it is and gives you directions, then after she answers one of those questions, you might say something like “well you seem to know your way around campus, how long have you been here for?”

Then from there, you can ask her what she’s studying and how she likes it or whatever other direction you want to go. Usually school is a pretty easy subject to talk about, as it’s something you’ll both have in common and can relate to each other about it.

Or, once she answers a question about the gym, you can always say something like “oh yea, that’s cool, I’ll have to check that out. So what are you up to now, on your way to class?” Then depending on what she says, then you can ask her what class she’s going to, or what her major is etc. Then once you’ve got her talking for at least a sentence or two beyond giving you the initial directions, then you should be able to branch off into any number of different directions and just keep going with fluff talk if you like.

Or, if you feel up to it, and she says she’s on her way to class, you could say “ok, well I was going to walk in that direction anyways, I’ll walk with you for a minute until we get up to xxxx building or whatever”.

But each conversation is different, because I’ll look for things she says and branch off of her answers, depending on what she ends up saying to me. If she’s really into the gym, then maybe I’d end up talking about the gym or the general subject of exercise, health or working out for the first minute or two. Or if she talks about how busy she is, then I’ll ask a bit about her courses and why she’s so busy right now. Maybe I’ll end up asking her if she works too, then empathize a bit with her by saying “damn, that must be a tough schedule to keep up with, for sure”. But if you’re approaching chicks at school, then a very safe subject to bring up is a bit of school talk, because at least it’s something you’ll be familiar with and will have at least a few things to say about it, and it’s also something you both will have in common right off the bat.

Now some may say that school talk is ‘boring’ or dull, but if you’re just starting out and struggling with what to say, then there’s nothing wrong with talking about school for a bit, because it’s better than having shit run dry and her walking away on you because you have nothing to say.

I generally don’t open about the weather, but I have on occasion mentioned it if it’s exceptionally hot or cold out, or something like that if it’s out of the ordinary. But even if you said something ‘lame’ like “yeah, it’s nice out today, that’s why I’m out here enjoying a bit of sun while its lasts”. If she’s at all talkative, or friendly she’ll usually agree and say something similar which agrees with what you’ve said. Then from there you could say something like “so what are you up to now, just on your way to class?” And what I say there will depend on what she’s doing when I approached her. If she’s walking, you might ask her if she’s on her way to class. If she’s sitting around not reading and looking bored, you can ask her if she’s just chilling for a bit on break or waiting for her next class. If she has her books out and is reading, you can ask her what she’s studying, or if she’s studying for a test, or if she’s working on an essay. You get the idea. Just ask or comment on what she seems to be doing when you approached her.

Then from there like I said, I’ll often ask her what her major is, and after that you can ask what year she’s in, and there’s a bunch of school-related things you can talk about just to get you through the first few minutes of conversation. And usually by that time you’ll get the idea whether she’s into talking, or if she’s giving you very short answers and not much eye contact or whatever. This is where I try to get a read on her by watching her eye contact, voice tone, posture and body language etc. If I get the vibe that a chick just isn’t into talking, I personally don’t usually ‘plow’ through it and try to continue, I’ll just let it die out and then try to look for another chick who might be into talking a bit more. That’s the good ting about school, if one chick doesn’t seem into talking to you, then why waste your time, because there’s hundreds or even thousands more that your time would be better spent on.

Depending which direction the conversation takes, other fluff subjects that I might bring up could be:

- what general area of the city is she from
- if she has an accent, ask about where she’s from
- does she drive or take the bus (I've got a couple funny stories to tell about the bus/parking passes)
- hobbies, sports, what she does for fun when not in school, etc
- what she wants to do once she’s done her undergrad
- general talk about the school, how she likes it etc
- how busy school can be and balancing it with work, does she work too?
- trips or vacations she’s taken, and if you have any funny/cool stories to tell

And those are just a few regular fluff things off the top of my head, but like I said, some conversations could go in any direction depending on what she’s saying back to you. And each of those things I just listed could turn into a whole separate discussion, depending on what she ends up replying with.

And you want to avoid sounding like you’re just going down a list and firing off questions to her. Instead, it’s better if you can comment on her answers, or elaborate a bit by going off what she says to you and include your own comments or stories too.

But if you’re at school and just starting out, instead of stopping chicks on the move, maybe try to find a girl that’s sitting somewhere by herself and looks kind of bored. Oftentimes people will welcome someone to come up and keep them company if you come across as a cool, normal and friendly guy.

Those are just some of my own ideas and examples of how I might do things. They’re not necessarily ‘right’ or the best, but I’m usually pretty good at fluff talk anyways and can keep a conversation going.

Anyways man, hope that helps a bit.

Monday

Well not much to report for today in terms of new approaches or prospects.

I met with Russian Blonde from last week right after class, and we hung out for a little over an hour until I had to grab lunch and then catch the bus and go to the gym.

Nothing too significant to say about the meet up, we just talked for awhile, walked around the school a bit, and we have something set up for one day this weekend. She also lives downtown and doesn’t drive, so for the first ‘date’ I’ll be going down to her area, so I’m not expecting too much to happen. I ended up just giving her a hug and a bit of light kino rubbing her arm a couple of times as we spoke, but nothing too much. I was thinking of kissing her, but as we were walking towards her stop, her bus was already there and she had to take off pretty fast, so I just went for the quick hug and bye. Things look to be promising overall, so we’ll see what happens.

I had about 15 minutes to kill after lunch while I waited for the bus, and there were a couple of ok looking chicks I could have approached on the benches, but I didn’t bother.

Tuesday

I didn’t go to the school today, as I had a fair bit of other work and things to do. So today was just a day to get things done. I don’t have classes on Tuesday anyways, but I’ve still gone into the school for awhile many times to just study a bit and look for opportunities on days where I had some time. Unfortunately, today wasn’t one of those days.

General Thoughts

I posted a day or two ago about how I might go about transitioning from an indirect opener to some general fluff talk because Peel had a question mentioning he was having some troubles in that area.

Even though I mentioned that I was pretty good at fluff talk, perhaps I should clarify or expand a bit on that by saying that fluff talk certainly isn’t the ultimate goal in my conversations with chicks that I’m trying to pick up. The goal with your conversations with girls isn’t to be a great fluff talker, it’s to be a great seducer. The ability to fluff is great, as it will ensure that at least you have something to say, you can keep a conversation going, and you can avoid those awkward silences where there’s not much to talk about. But in addition to the fluff, you need to add certain elements mixed into it that will help you actually seduce the girl and have her see you as a sexual option, not just some friendly, cool dude that’s chatting her up.

I’m pretty good at fluff talk and keeping a conversation going, but I was thinking about a few things about my own conversations that I should improve on to get a bit better.

The first would be Kino. I’ve never been a ‘touchy-feely’ type of a person, so I have to make a conscious effort to use kino when I’m talking to a girl. For me, it’s something that doesn’t come naturally. I need to keep that in mind and try to do that a bit more.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere in this journal, I don’t really have any problems with escalation in general once I’ve kissed a girl, because if the situation and place is right, I’ll usually try to do as much as I can and go for the lay. But it’s just in the initial first couple of conversations or meet ups with a girl that I should try to use more kino, just to break that ‘touch barrier’ a little sooner.

The next part of my conversations that I could improve upon would be in the area of being a bit more playful or flirty. I’m certainly not a dry or boring person, but being a bit more playful and flirty would be a benefit to me, for sure. And even though I try hard to not make my conversations sound like interviews, I should try to limit the question and answer type of conversations as much as I can. Usually, they aren’t like that, because I’ll try to comment on what she says and talk about it, instead of just moving on to the next question. And often, depending on what the question was, she’ll end up asking me the same thing, so that allows me to talk and/or tell a story or something as well.

And reading Daniel Balboa’s journal gave me the idea that I should also try to focus on more emotional aspects and trying to relate to her on an emotional level, and steer the conversations towards topics that explore those areas too. And like he mentioned, I think that’s especially true once the conversation is longer than 10 minutes or so. By that time, you should be able to tell if a chick is into talking, then you can get more into the emotional type of things and try to relate to her in that way, and get away from the mundane, regular fluff type of subjects.

I guess to sum up, fluff is fine because to a certain extent, all conversations will have a certain amount of it, but to improve and be a better seducer, there is a lot more than just fluff talk that you have to be proficient in.

If you’re just starting out and you find it hard to talk to girls, then if you can hold a conversation with fluff talk, then that’s cool, as it’s some progress. But as long as you understand that being good at pickup or seducing girls will require more than just having a regular friendly conversation with them. You’ll need to add in elements like kino, being flirty and playful, work on your eye contact, voice, body language, and connecting with her on a deeper and emotional level. And these are all things that I’m trying to add into my game bit by bit in order to improve.

”Sour grapes”

Bringing up ‘online girl’ and the fact that she said she didn’t feel the chemistry might seem like I’m butthurt about it, but I thought I’d make a comment or two about that whole deal, and online dating.

I’m not even sure in my entire life that I’ve ever been told that the ‘chemistry’ wasn’t there. I can probably count on one hand or even less the number of times in my life that I’ve been out with a chick and for some reason she hasn’t been into me. Usually if I get to the point of going out with her, it’s usually good to go. (EDIT: I don't mean that to sound arrogant like I'll bang every chick that I've ever been out with. I was just trying to say that it's pretty rare that I actually get to the point of going out with a girl that's already expressed interest in me, and having that fall apart for some reason because she just wasn't into me)

And this may come across just as sour grapes, but she was a kinda fucked up chick, for sure. By my standards, she wasn’t even the greatest looking once I saw her in person, but she was worth the lay though. She was fairly smart, but she had some odd opinions and strong stances on certain things, and talked about a few arguments etc that she’s had with people. And I could see how some people wouldn’t like her or how she might rub some people the wrong way. She also came across with some comments that she made as somewhat of a feminist, but I bit my tongue on that one, as I was more concerned about laying her than debating her political viewpoints. (Funny enough, Russian Blonde sort of comes across the same way. Not so much on the feminism part, but more on the odd/strong viewpoints and being argumentative with people. But she seems into me so far anyways!).

I believe Smooth Operator asked me about online dating before, and the one thing that I didn’t mention was that in my experience, most if not all the chicks I’ve ever met from there have been kind of fucked up in their own way. The couple of chicks I banged over the summer definitely were, but at least they were fairly good looking so I overlooked it. One of them, a 25 yr old Brazillian chick, who I’ve been ignoring texts from for ages now, just this morning, sent me a couple of nude pics of herself. She’s been ‘stalking’ me sending me messages for ages now, even though I never reply at all. The other one was a pretty fucked up 22 yr old ‘rebel’ chick that’s been in trouble with the cops off and on since she’s been a kid.

But anyways, I was just sitting back and thinking about the ‘chemistry’ thing, and how she was on our ‘date’ that we went on a week or so ago. But yeah, like I was saying in that post awhile ago, online dating is ok, as it’s just another avenue to meet a chick, but hopefully my daygame skills will get better and soon I’ll have enough chicks on the go that I won’t end up bothering with the online thing anymore.

Wednesday

Nothing much to report today except a few missed opportunities. I passed up a few chances, but they weren’t the real easy ‘softballs’ or anything.

I did end up talking to a chick on the bench for just a brief and friendly back and forth for a minute. She wasn’t that great looking, and she sat on the same bench as I was sitting on, so I said a few words, but that’s about it.

Missed opportunity 1

I was thinking of doing a drive-by direct approach. I saw this hot blonde girl coming towards me, and there was this guy a few steps behind her. I hesitated just for that second or so, and it was too late, she already passed me.

Missed opportunity 2

There was this hot Asian chick sitting on these couch seats that are all in a cluster and in various “L” patterns sort of all attached together. She was doing something on her laptop when I sat down .I got out my books, and a moment later the few seats all around me were taken up. It’s hard to describe the formation, but there was someone basically just inches from my shoulder, and I didn’t really feel up to opening her with people that close. Just as they sat down, the Asian chick pulled out her headphones and plugged them in. It was time for me to get lunch anyways, so I stayed for a minute or so longer then took off.

Missed opportunity 3

There was a guy and a hot blonde chick talking on these long benches in this large open area. I sat down maybe 4 or 5 feet away from them, and the blonde and I made eye contact a couple of times. It was a dead end pretty much, as she was talking to the guy. I could tell they were just friends, but I’m not really into opening a ‘mixed set’ like that. I got up and took off and walked around a bit.

On my way back through that area maybe 20 minutes later, I saw the blonde was still there but the guy had taken off. Unfortunately I had literally 2 minutes until my bus came, and the only thing that I could have done was a drive-by direct approach. But I figured since we already made eye contact, I was either going to approach her to actually talk to her, or I wasn’t. Nothing was stopping me from just giving the compliment and walking away, but it was the end of the day as well, and like I said, I’d rather do that just spontaneously on a chick that I haven’t seen before, not on one in a situation like that.

And that was it for the day. I was only mildly disappointed that I let a few of those pass, but none of them were really great opportunities, so it’s not like I passed up anything golden. I was more disappointed in the fact that I didn’t really come across anything else while I was there today. I did walk around a bit today and spent some time reading a bit on the benches, but it was just one of those days where there wasn’t a whole lot around that I really wanted to approach.

hey thanks. i still get cases where the girl thinks i am just asking random questions and is very short with me and just answers them quickly with no input. any way around that? the only way i can fix this is by cutting to the chase and going direct but it's often scary to do and I dont do it and just say thanks for the instructions bye since her body language is already thinking the conversation is over after she answered

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Just trying to meet a 10.

Well sometimes a girl just won’t be into talking to you, and there’s not much you can do about that. That’s just the way it goes. She could be really busy, in a rush to go somewhere, just a bitchy person, or she just may not be into you.

And the last post I mentioned a few follow-up questions or transitioning statements that you might say after she gives you the directions, so if it was me, I would probably try something like that. But yeah, sometimes things like that will just happen no matter what you say or do, so I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

And sure, you could try to go direct, and I hear you, it’s not always easy. I need to remind myself of this too, but part of this game is pushing yourself beyond what you’re used to doing. You can always try starting off indirect, then going direct just after that if she seems to show even a slight bit of interest in talking to you.

Assuming you’re all good in terms of clothes, hair, hygiene and that sort of thing, the only other thing that I can think of is take a look at your body language and all the non-verbal signs or cues you’re giving off as you’re approaching and talking to the girl. Try to really be aware of this stuff. You don’t ever want to come across as meek or apologetic because you feel you’re bothering her or taking up her time. That will come across as weakness, and most times she’ll just want to dismiss you and move on. So try the best you can to approach with confidence, speak slowly, be loud and clear and look her in the eye when you speak. I’m not saying mean-mug her and stare her down, but just try to be confident and smooth in your delivery.

Like I’ve said before in my journal, you have to just try your best to objectively evaluate your game and try to see where you might be going wrong and change those things. If a certain method isn’t giving you results, then you’ll have to make some changes. Because obviously if you do the same thing over and over but don’t get results, then that should tell you that you need to make a few adjustments, then see if that helps.

And like I said last time, maybe try to find chicks that are sitting down by themselves just chilling, instead of stopping moving targets. It might be a bit easier to get a conversation going that way. I don't mind answering questions at all, so ask away, but I'll just say my usual disclaimer in that I'm no expert, but I'll still toss in my two cents and give you my opinion. But approaching really isn't one of my strongest points in my game. Anyways man, keep at it, and I hope that helps a bit.

Thursday

Nothing much to report today. Russian blonde hung around me for awhile, so there wasn’t much opportunity to do much else. I only had a bit of time before I caught the bus, so I was also going to do a couple of drive-by direct approaches but didn’t end up doing them.

Both of the drive-by direct approaches happened the same way. I won’t be trying any more in the same way I was going to do them today. Both of them happened like this:

I saw a fairly cute Asian chick sitting on a bench. I came up to the bench, said something like “hey, I’m gonna share this bench with you for a minute”, got a smile, then sat down. My plan was to look over some notes or just chill for a few minutes, and give them the compliment as I was getting up and ready to walk away.

In both cases, the chick ended up getting up and leaving a minute or two after I sat down. On top of that, as I was sitting there, I was starting to feel a bit awkward about doing that. If I’m going to sit down on a bench with a chick, I’d rather just talk to her like I normally might. For some reason, I felt kind of funny trying to do the direct approach that way. I think in the future, I’ll just stop a girl while she’s walking, or just walk up to a chick sitting down and then give them the compliment and keep on going. For whatever reason, I didn’t really like doing it that way, it just didn't feel right.