It's definitely a numbers' game and you also have to have thick skin.

I'm pretty thick skinned in most situations, as I said, but for some reason... when it comes to women, I care what they think of me. I guess it's because I consider a rejection to be a slight against me or my looks, etc. I've asked out chicks before and have been turned down. No big deal, I learned something every time.

But for whatever reason, I freeze up big-time when it comes to making that initial first approach. But I can't expect my friends, family or (God forbid) the internet, to hook me up. I've gotta be a man and get out there and start doing it. (So I tell myself... but here I am still... lol)

I do agree with the statement, "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" and I've never regretted ANY time I asked out a chick and got turned down. I always took something away from it, learned and refined my approaches or game later. But typically, even those approaches were not completely cold. (I knew them from school or whatnot.) So this is unfamiliar territory for me.

I want to get good at day game, since I'm not a bar fly or a night club kind of guy. The day is probably my best shot for meeting women. I know in the end, only *I* can do something about this. I'm not sure what the hell is stopping me... Maybe I'm being overly analytical, but I think until I resolve whatever this problem is, it's gonna hold me back, somehow.

Yeah, I'm pretty sparing with compliments. Even in general. I don't know, if done right, they can be effective, but I've learned the hard way to be reserved with giving compliments initially. It might work, maybe, for breaking the ice...

For me, it's definitely an inner battle going on that keeps me back. It's entirely internal. That and I'm clueless. Oh, I've read up on this stuff for a while now, watched some videos, listened to some tapes and CDs, I know my stuff. But it's all meaningless unless I'm putting it INTO PRACTICE. (Which I'm not.) No different than knowing how to pilot an airplane yet having no experience or practice. I need to move beyond talking and reading about PUA tactics and start practicing it first hand.

Yeah i'm like you aswell but remember that even Mystery said that he's not a club guy either. Some guys find it easier to approach at clubs because women are more receptive...I could be wrong though

ould take your post Redzum, copy and paste as mine. Seriously. Sometimes it's amazing how same problems we are dealing with. I have that feeling reading many posts here. I'm also a ginger, and went through a lot of crap because of that, which shaped me in a very very bad way. Being the ugly ginger kid was not helpful at all. Moreover people tend to keep saying and showing it over and over and over. Countless amount of times I heard that guys talking just next to me that 'id kill myself if i was a ginger' or girls laughing at you in front of everyone just right in your face. I'm almost 30 right now and still can hear it from time to time, or simply have to deal with pseudo-friends joking about it (haha, recent one was 'you know 2 rules of dating women? 1- you have to be alive 2-you can't be a ginger' haha, wanna bet? ). They do that to feel better, feed ego. They do that also when they are jelous ie seeing me with a really hot chick.
It's always so weird for me to read complains from guys, saying that they are tall, handsome, girls are opening them (!) , and they have still huge AA and can't do sh!t about it. Holy crap, then I always think to myself, that I'm on a hardcore level of life and if I can close a girl, I have to be next to GOD
Anyway, I'm still fighting with tons of blockades. For the same reasons I can't approach any girl, or at least not when I'm sober. AA is eating me like hell. But I see somewhere deep inside of me, that behind this crap which grew up on me for years, there is a person who can be extremely successful with woman. I just have to overcome AA and build self-confidence. For some weird reasons I don't understand, women want to be with me, they are falling in love, they find me attractive. My problem is that it happens only after they have a chance to know me better. I sucks at the very first part of interaction. Well, maybe it was not superhelpful post, but there are plenty of great advices over here, really. Read few, then stop reading and go out. I'm crossing fingers for you. Good luck dude

I don't see myself as ugly. I think I'm pretty good looking, albeit kind of skinny. But I don't care. If others don't like that about me, it's TS for them. I lucked out and got the auburnish hair, so I can actually tan a bit in the summer and not freckle like crazy, so yes I'm a redhead but I don't have it quite as bad as some of us gingers. I can empathize, of course, though.

I do have some inner game issues, but I think most of my problems are more related to having been fucked over by a few women before in my past. Emotional wounds and all that garbage. I don't really like women very much, which might explain my attitude and lack of initiative with them. (No, I'm not gay, just kind of bitter.)

I can relate to this. I've never bothered with even chatting up women because I didn't like the attitude, had trust issues and thought it was a complete waste of time and effort.

Being single my whole life had taken its toll on my confidence and it is something I am struggling to change.

Actually there's a technique that eliminates your approach anxiety in 57 minutes.

You don't have to have these endless conversations that won't help you - because fear of women is not logical, it's emotional.

You can check out this technique here www.volcanoconfidence.com

Phantom

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Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure

To the guys who are bothered by having ginger hair, just take a look at Prince Harry and Ed Sheeran. Girls go crazy for them. Obviously its not because they have ginger hair but the fact they are ginger has no negative effect on girls liking them. In fact because of the awesome PR job those guys have done gingers I actually know girls who go for that look

you can read through my blog and try to fish out the things i did to move baby steps over two years. still inexperienced with dating though. stuff i did was

CBT/positive psychology exercises
dancing lessons, dancing on my own, going to social dances
dressing up, getting new clothes in styles i would never wear
being in group psychotherapy to learn to talk to people better
going to work
going to random events like shows and taking random classes
saying hi how are you and smiling at women who happened to be nearby and letting them decide if they want to continue the conversation and ask me something back

good luck

I feel for you. This is a common problem and can be debilitating.

I have written a comprehensive article on this which I believe can help you

http://www.authenticpua.com/dating-arti ... ercome-it/

In it I explain how to overcome approach anxiety in detail.

Hope this helps

To me, AA stands for Approach Annoyance. Ever know a really buggy person that you don't want to talk to or have to listen to? You aren't "affraid" or "anxious" because of them, you are just annoyed by them. That's the main feeling I get when dealing with sets.

Let's face it, a lot of women go out there and have no intention of meeting guys or talking to guys, even hot ones. Maybe they have a boyfriend or husband, maybe not. When you open sets like those it's like talking to a brick wall. It becomes really annoying when you are just looking to be friendly and sociable, and you get into a set of girls that aren't even that hot who can't seem to grasp how to have a normal conversation.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Look at that, everybody has the had the same problem as you are having!

Only way to solve your problem is by facing it!

On the other side of that fear is freedom bro!

So the only way to fix that problem is to keep approaching!

You have no idea how much we all been rejected and looked liked clowns or froze up hahah...ALL OF US! your not the only one =D

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Hope I learn from people and people learn from me =D