I agree with you guys, I am not 100% right now, I told her I don't know If I can be with her and I still need to think, I told her that If I feel I will never trust her 100% again then its over because trust is the most important part of a relationship.

From the out outside it is tough to understand, almost 4 year, two of which we have lived together ect ect....If the relationship is worth salvaging then I will of course salvage it! if not then we are done, she has to show me how much she wants to be with me and show me that she can be trusted or Im out! If the relationship was fresh and we did not live together then I would be gone a long time ago believe me!

Life is not black and white, every situation is is unique. I will be very careful! there is no second chance and If she does anything to ruin my trust or make me believe she is not making an effort to change I will pack her stuff for her and tell her to get out! She understands I am serious and is genuinely concerned! Today I noticed she blocked all her ex's on facebook which is something I did not ask her to do! and in fact told her not to do, but it was nice to see she is making an effort, this also shows me she has no ties to these guys.

yep

he will feel LOWER than the lowest WHEN she pulls more treachery on him.

because then not only will he be heartbroken, but he will feel like a fool.

i can say this, because i've been there.

but time and experience are the best teachers.

it's amazing how "being caught" gave her an instant change of heart.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

This is what really bothers me, she would have done non of this if I did not catch her.She would not have told me, she would not have blocked her ex's ect ect...it is crazy what getting caught will do to someone!

I even said to her "Are you sorry or sorry you got caught?" this is something I struggle with, I love her but Im still not 100% sure she is truly sorry...she does seem very remorseful and seems to be trying hard but is it only because she got caught or because she actually wants to change and loves me?

On the other hand perhaps this is what she needed to happen to open her eyes and have her realize how fortunate she is to have a guy like me.

Only time will tell, but I will tell you one thing, I will not put up with any more selfish behaviour or lies! Im done with that crap!

I would be real about it and consider this issue a deal-breaker.

If what you've said is true, then you've raised her quality of life considerably (not taking into account the HPV) since getting together.

If you want to look on the bright side of things, you'd pretty much be accomplishing one of the most difficult things to do with a lady, and that is to leave her better than you found her.

I do believe, based on the reaction she gave you after you decided to put your relationship on the table, that she knows what a positive impact you have made as well, but doesn't respect herself enough to appreciate it properly, hence the disrespectful behavior. I think it's her way of justifying that she does not deserve your positive gifts. Women can be quite strange sometimes.

So move on with your head held high, because a woman who does not respect herself will only drag you down with her. And get treated for the possible genital warts.

I think that is a lot of the problem, she has low self esteem! she is a beautiful girl! very very sexy! an easy hb 9 or 10, she gets hit on every where we go, yet she constantly judges her self, and puts her self down, she comes from a broken home, both parents had a poor relationship, cheated and dragged her and her sisters into a messy divorce, which she does admit has caused problems, she has admitted that this has effected her relationship with men and that she is now working on re thinking things and fixing them.

Honesty is her best friend at this point! in order for things to work she need to open up and tell me everything she has done that I would not be happy with! because if I find anything out down the road there is no question that I will walk! even something small! I would have a lot more respect for her if she told me "yeah I met with an ex boyfriend a few months back" then if I found it out on my own, if she told me I would be calm and talk it over, but if I have to find something out on my own shes going to be sorry! I will be gone for good!

I am in a very odd position living with her, and I am still taking my time to think about what I want and put this whole puzzle together.

I think it's funny how when she says that you are important for her, you suddenly forgot the fact that she lied to you about an STD, and gave it to you.

Easy fix for this girl, do something wrong, 'you mean so much too me', problem solved.

She's not made out of gold, you are.

I get the same feeling, i read almost all the topics in relationship section and Ive seen Dark One having problems with his girlfriend a lot even though he was the best for her, gave her a degree and everything but honestly i thought you guys were broken-up already because of that going away with friends thing a while ago, it seems you really can't let her go no matter what she does but you keep telling yourself you will be gone with 1 more slip-up, this is weak inner game at its fullest, i really think she knows you wont leave her, this is why you get to putt up with this shit. you invested way to much into this girl so to leave her it would take something as bad as cheating but you should off draw the line a lot earlier on.

Good luck though and i really hope you start becoming more secure from the inside

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

I certainly have no inner game issues, I have always been a confident guy, never question my self or self worth, and know the kind of guy I am, I am 100% comfortable with who I am.

Relationships are not black and white, from the out side it is easy to judge and I do appreciate the advice but I can tell you my inner game is solid! The problem lies in the fact that this girl is literally the only women who I have ever ever loved or let get to me, I have dated dozens of beautiful women! and although I have found women that were cool to hang out with or good in bed, I can't honestly say I have found any who mean as much to me as this women.

2nd problem is that I live with her, we have started a life together and that makes things a little tricky.

I have put up with a lot of shit! don't get me wrong! I know this, and I am at a breaking point, right now is make or break, Im literally not talking to her right now...We had another talk last night and I told her I need time to think about what I want, she begged me to take her back and I could not promise her anything because I do not know if I am going to...it is very easy to tell me I have weak inner game but it has nothing to do with my self worth, I am at a really tough point in my life and in our relationship.

I honestly know that I can have other women, Im not sure what has kept me with this girl for so long? I think its because of the strong emotional connection I have with her, and the amount I have invested is massive! its crazy really when I sit back and think about it! my advice to my self would be to leave her lol Its also hard because we have always had issues in the past like most relationships, but this issue is big! is massive! its perhaps a deal breaker!

Face it... it is a deal breaker, why take all this shit? Tomorrow you'll take some more...

You feel insecure, untill she says she cares a lot about you, then you feel good again, and you can close the thread.

Would a man, who honestly knows he can get every girl he wants, take this shit? No, he would date 15 girls and pick the one that's best out. He'll lose 14 but he still got the best. Is this the way your relationship started? If it's not, you're just in a vicious shit cirkle.

I have been in this game a long time! trust me this is not the first girl I picked up lol with all due respect that's almost laughable to me! and semi offensive! I have been on this bored a long time! and given a lot of advice! I mastered this game, the difference is that being in love and gaming a girl are two very different things! and we are all not perfect....we all have faults, mine is that I am in love with this girl, and until a month ago thought I would be spending my life with her, when you move in with a girl who you plan to spend you life with and she tells you she might have given you an std and you find out a string of lies its hard to cope with!

You find me one person in this forum who has never has a struggle in their life, or in their relationship, we live, we learn, and that's life.

I think I am just going to really take time to think about what I want, Talk to her about everything, and be brutally honest with my self and with her!

I appreciate all the advice given! but I feel like its best for me to now to deal with what has happend between my self and my gf, I am seriously considering telling her to pack her things and be out by the end of the weekend, regardless its time for me to make a decision and to hash things out with her.

At the risk of sounding really think, (STD's aren't my strong point)

If you've been with her for 3 1/2 years and she had herpes then why has it taken so long for her to give it to you? you catch my drift?

HPV and she has a strain that does not cause warts, its a high risk strain that causes cancer, in men it can cause weird reactions if your immune system is trying to fight it off, but not warts, and it increases the risk of cancer. In women it is much worse! because they have a higher risk of cancer.

There seem to be serious trust and mutual respect issues in your relationship.

About this HPV point , did you ask her why she didn't tell you ? One explanation is that she got it during your relationship with someone, and that's why she didn't tell, putting you at risk.

I love my gf and do NOT put them at risk, even while cheating (which I do, but that's my own business). I'd better tell the truth with a chance of breaking up (after all, I'm responsible, so I must handle it if it goes unexpected).

I guess it's time for a log conversation with her...