First off, I should warn you, this post is rather lengthy, and detailed. The reason for this is 2 fold, first and most importantly, I am looking for, and welcome feedback. These last few days have been some of the best of my life, and I want to get better at this. Secondly, I wanted to share, for 2 reasons. First and foremost, because, well, I wanted to share this! Secondly, to show anyone reading this that it CAN be done. 2 weeks it took me, and one trip out, and I got more then I ever thought possible just two weeks earlier.
So, here I am, 37 years old, and I have been an AFC all my life, not that I knew what an AFC was until last December. Least popular kid in school, computer geek, and my best friend was the least popular guy in another school.
Guess it was all the rejection from my peers, but I have been afraid to approach women, or anyone for that matter. I don't often post opinions or stories on boards (this may be the first actually.)
In my adult years a gained a few real life friends, well maybe 1 or 2 that I still talk to, and have a hard time maintaining any friendships I get. I am always uptight, nervous, and too self conscious of doing or saying the same thing. I didn't like going out, and the few times my friends dragged my to a bar of club, I was by far the most uptight person in the place. AFC of the worst kind.
In December I don't know how, but I ended up coming across a copy of "The Game" and began to read it, really thinking I wanted to learn this stuff, get over my anxiety and meet a women. I have been in several long term relationships, most of which I was not really happy in, mainly because, and I realized this early in my life, I was an average looking guy and simply wasn't and wouldn't ever be happy with anything less then a very attractive girl. So, I read about 1/2 way through the book when a ex GF got a a hold of me. We started dating again a week or two later, and I stopped reading, and believe it or not, stopping reading that book was probably the best thing that happened to me.
Let me explain. The relationship only lasted until March or so when I broke it off. I just didn't have the feelings for her, and knew they weren't gonna develop. This was the first time I had ever broken up with a woman for any reason other then anger. I actually didn't even realize until writing this that this was likely my first step to changing who I was.
I don't know why I never got back into the book right away. As a matter of fact it took me until the beginning of June. By that time, do you think I could find this book, or even remember the name of it? So I began Googling the only thing I could really remember out of that book, the name "Mystery."
I found so many websites out there talking about what he was, and at the very least implying that it was an authorized "Mystery" site, but I leaned very quickly that there are some that are just not associated with him, and honestly still have no idea for certainty exactly what is his REAL site (if you know, let me in would you? I would really like to know.) But I came across one thing that I could be sure was him. A TV show aired on VH1 called "The Pickup Artist" I got a hold of both season 1 and 2, and started watching. I think I was just finished Season 1 when a friend called me up on the phone asking me if I wanted to go out with him and his GF.. To the strip club.
I thought about this. The strip club. And remembering one of the field tests, and Mystery explaining that it was one of the most difficult pickups to do. Also, these girls are hired for there looks, and to be around men. Any rejection I get, if any at all, would be very gentle. And if I was able to pick up a stripper on the first night, I could do anything. So I decided to go, and had my mind set that I was going to kiss-close a stripper.
It didn't take me long to do my first opener, I looked over my shoulder as a stripper passed, and I don't even remember what opener I used, but it was an opener, she she sat down (of course!) This is when I learned that if the girl is a total air-head, the MM just doesn't work. I negged, telling her her nose wiggled when she talked, and got an embarrassed giggle. Talked about something else for a moment, then asked her, "So, what do you have going for you, besides your looks I mean?"
"What?"
So I repeated myself.
"I don't know what you mean."
"I mean, like, what else do you have going for you in your life other then just your looks. Looks are nice and all, but its not everything."
"Uhh.."
I turned back to my friends and started chatting, just ignoring her. I was quite surprised how long it took her to leave the table and look for the next guy to try and suck $20 bills out of.
I sat nervously in the bar for quite a bit of time. Arms on the table, leaning forward. I let my friends know what I was learning and what I was planning on doing that night, so they were nice enough to finally tell me that I didn't look relaxed, and to help me with my body language a bit.
By the time I was done in the strip club, I had spoken to 2 strippers and one waitress using the method a little bit (as much as I could remember in my nervous state) and even approached a girl and started a conversation there. Now remember, this is coming from a guy that has NEVER approached a woman before with the intent of even being friends, never mind picking her up!
My friends were nice and decided to move to a more target rich bar. Remembering the 3 second rule, I walked right into the bar, and right over to the first 3 women I saw. I didn't even realize I was chatting with a bunch of, well, really ugly women until I started talking. But it didn't matter. I did it, straight in the door, to a set. I didn't look like I was lurking.
I got out of the set quickly, because, well, these were not the kind oftargets I wanted, and stood there chatting with the 2 friends I came in with. I spied a nice 2 set on the other side of the bar, so I started chatting it up with my friends, getting them to laugh for no reason, to try and demonstrate some social acceptance. I honestly have no idea if they ever saw. We sat down at a table closer to the set as I got the nerve to approach them (thank god I had 2 people with me, or I am sure it would have looked like I was lurking, and staring at them from across the room.) Finally, I approached, stood at an angle to them, with my shoulder facing between them as I said, "My and my friends have been discussing this all night. Tell me, is kissing cheating?" My target was quick to respond saying it was, but the obstacle asked said, "Well, it depends." I was having allot of problems keeping conversations going in previous sets, so after she said that I was thinking "Well, this worked out quite well, so far." I turned to the obstacle and started talking a bit with her. It didn't take long for the target to want to have her say. Right away my finger went up about have way between me and her, "Shhh. I'm talking here." while I finished my conversation, albeit only 15-30 seconds long with the obstacle before turning to the target, moving my finger away, "Okay, now what did you want to say?" Blah Blah Blah, I don't even remember. "Hey, your nose wiggles when you speak, its really cute, hey, let me try something, pick a number between 1 and 4, first number that comes into your head." Thank goodness it was 3, and the next one was 7.
Then she asked, "Are you a magician?"
"No, but I am a Wizard. I run a business downtown..." Bottom line is that "Wizard" is in the name, and everyone calls me "The Wizard" at work. Great DHV I thought. At this point I saw her playing with her hair, My first IOI. I offered another neg, "Here, let me show you another one. Let me see your hands." Compliance. I took a quick look at them, and lightly tossed them back at her, "no no, its okay, never mind." After giving her about 3-5 seconds to let that sink in, but not long enough to get a reaction I moved onto the routine (I don't know what its called) where you tell her to place her hands together with her index fingers pointing up, and begin by explaining one is her, and one is me, and you get her to separate them, and they come back together. As they started making there way back together I looked at her and asked, "Oh.. look, thats going on here? Oh God, that's so sweet!" and tapped my cheek. I was not only rewarded by a kiss, but she looked at her friend right on front of me, "Oh my god, I love this guy!"
This is where I had screwed it up. There was a fair bit of KENO, just on the shoulders, and holding her hands. I took the target lightly by the wrist and suggested we go outside to get some air. She told me she couldn't leave her friend, and I left. I told her it was a pleasure meeting her, and I left! Looking back, I know what I did wrong here. I should have taken them both outside, but both myself and my 2 friends agreed I could have kiss and number closed that one, if I played it a bit differently. So close! But I screwed up.
I approached 2 more sets that night. The first I did the "Would you date a guy named Herman?" opener, and it bombed. "What was the point of all that?" was the response I got. I didn't know how to reply, "I was just curious is all." is what ended up coming out, but was still able to approach another set (Well, try to, I just saw them going to the patio, and by the time I got there, they were gone
)
Yesterday, I find myself needing to go shopping. (I will keep this one brief.) So off to my local department store I go, thinking all the while, "I should practice some day game." I was too shy to approach any single women (Like that makes any sense) and even chickened out on several 2 and 3 sets before I finished my shopping. "No. I am not leaving this store until I approach at least 1, no, 2 sets!" so I head over to the clothing department and grab a couple of shirts, here goes the nerves again. Ended up loosing out on one set over it. Finally approached another, told them I needed a woman opinion, and started showing them my shirts. Neg the target, "Your nose wiggles when you talk, its really cute." (I really like that one.) She giggles and covers her nose. After a bit of talking we decide on a couple of shirts that look good on me. And I leave the set. "Thanks allot for the help, I will get these two." Again, another set I leave early, because I can't get past the shirts! This is one that has me stumped a bit, where do I go from here, and how do I get there?
Since that first night, my whole demeanor has changed. The 2 close friends I have both made comments that I was different some how. One of my female friends said to me, "You look so confident now! Whats wrong with you?" So as I said before, if you are reading this, wondering if you can do it, I hope this post can help you realize that you can.
Well there you have it, my first 2 days of playing the game, summed up into a single post, likely the longest one I have written anywhere on the internet. If I bored you I don't apologize for that because, well, you didn't need to read the thing. As I said earlier, and if I haven't lost you by this time, I welcome any comments, suggestions, or anything else you have to offer. Its time for me to actually change my life instead of just talking about it.
CHAT