sometimes when i talk to a hb7+ i feel like I'm not the one in charge she is. It is very hard to explain. It is like she doesn't respect me. How can i get her to respect me? how can i be more aggressive and dominant?

You get respect when and only when you stop seeking it.

Your boy,
870

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can you be more vague?

I really don't know how to be anymore clear than that. In seduction, as in life, the more you want something, the more likely you are to push that thing away by seeking it too intensely, which usually subcommunicates desperation and encourages people NOT to validate you.

So, my advice is to stop seeking respect - stop seeking validation - and focus more on providing value to the interaction. Everything else will work itself out in its own time.

Your boy,
870

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In seduction, yes. As in life? Fuck no. I haven't got to where I am in life by going at it half-heartedly.

It's pretty simple really focus on confident body language. Stop focusing on what to say next or what you can say. That is normally the problem with guys they think too much. Thinking means you aren't doing.

Straighten up your body language, you stand confident you feel confident, multiple studies have proved you can change how you feel by changing your body language.

Stop thinking immediately, you seriously needed to just be confident, there is no other way to put it. 870 said it as simple as he could, once you are self assured everyone will be assure of you as well. Your self certainty will make them certain of you.

You don't want dominance, you want confidence. You want to feel "I know she wants me to advance this interaction". You should feel that you are the catch, and though you maybe interviewing(we are all interviewing during courtship) but that doesn't mean you can't feel as thought you "got the job" already. Right now you are placing women above you, and the women are agreeing.

Start cleaning up your body language first, this will take weeks(even months) to reshape those old habits. However while changing your body language you will need to reshape your thoughts rather than have doubts and recite your insecurities in your mind over and over again. Your going to need to tell yourself "I'm the man." Remind yourself of your positive traits rather than worry about your negative. This also means taking positive action to start fixing any traits you feel may be holding you back(perhaps working out, getting good at having a conversation, or dealing with anxiety).

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Did you stomp into your boss's office and tell him he better give you that promotion, or else? Or, if you're an entrepreneur, did you throw open the door to your loan officer's office and demand he approve the financing you needed for start-up capital?

I suppose it's possible that either of these approaches COULD work, but it seems much more likely that focusing on putting out high-quality work in your CURRENT position and allowing that work to speak for itself would probably open both doors with much more grace, elegance, subtlety and harmony.

Instead of being a guy who has to ask for things, be the guy who just gets them.

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

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Well actually I worked as hard as I could during my training, volunteered hours and hours of free work to get my name out, wrote letters to dozens of companies years before I was of the right age to start and went out grabbed it by the horns and got what I want.

I was aggressive in getting what I want. Look at the world famous business men, they were aggressive at getting want they wanted too. Alan Sugar for example.

My company actually said they could tell how desperate I was too work in the industry and therefore offered me a job because I was so highly motivated in getting there.

Well in the courtship world desperate to work can work out horribly and I do mean horribly. As they say you can't make yourself too available. Going after what you want is a good thing, you should always have the confidence to go after what you want because you deserve it and get it. That was the key to your success was, not desperation it was that you went after what you felt you deserved.

Also I want to point this out, you ran a numbers game, you said you wrote letters to dozens of companies letters for years and got one job. If you want to go out and tap dozens of women's shoulders to get laid ONCE go ahead, but if you want the skill to get the job most of the time or all the time than you need a different technique.

I don't know if I would even define what most great business men do as aggression, in fact some of the best business men of the 20th century would have hated getting called aggressive. I've read several books on business and the guys that did best in business, that created legacies that are still going are not guys I would call aggressive businessmen. It isn't aggression that great businessmen have it is confidence: self-assurance, self-love, self-certainty, knowing you are deserving, going after what you want.

Aggression can be detrimental to being a great businessman, a great businessman is someone who can create a thriving, improving business they don't need to run. I rarely see that in the business world today. One problem with aggression is that most of the time you aren't listening, a great business man is open to suggestion.

You want to know why I don't consider Trump a great businessman? He hasn't created a business that can survive without him, do you think Trump Organization is going to be a golden child without him? FUCK NO. Trump is really just an idiot with lots of connections, his aggression and his lack of patience of hurt him financially. That guy has filed bankruptcy multiple times(3 if memory serves me). He is a horrible horrible businessman. If I had his network, I could do way fucken better.

Disney, Ford, Welch, and Walton are 4 of the greater business men from the 20th century, I wouldn't describe any of those guys as aggressive. Confident- no doubt, visionaries- absolutely, brilliant-immensely but no fucken way would they be considered aggressive.

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Getting back on track to the question:

870 is absolutely right that if you seem like you WANT the interaction to work, that is being NEEDY. Needy is unattractive to women at the beginning.

I could give you a bandaid (which doesn't really fix the problem, just covers it for a while) which would be to demonstrate high value. Act more dominant with negs and negative body language. Maybe, a lock in position. Act more aggressive with making her qualify herself to you. BLA BLA BLA.

Let's do better than that. Why don't you try BECOMING high value?

In my opinion, you need to work on some inner game issues. You want to honestly believe that no one is "better" than you in a social environment. You're all just people. A hot girl is just a person. So are you.

You are giving her the advantage because you value her looks. Why don't you become high value (in your own life/in your own head) so that you have something to offer her assumed value?

So, how do we become high value? Not just demonstrate it?

Outer game:
1.) Work on your body language. Don't hold your drink across your chest. Hold it down by your hips or place it on the bar. Stand up straight. Make direct eye contact. Proud chest. Walk with commanding stride. There is plenty of information on body language on this forum. The excellent thing about body language work is that it isn't just a quick fix. If you fix your body language... you start to FEEL more confidence. It works the other way around too. If you start to FEEL more confidence... your body language becomes more alpha.
2.) Make sure you feel good in what you are wearing. Look at some men's magazines or some guides on this forum on how to dress or put together pieces that you already own. Make sure you are well groomed. Shine your shoes. Pop on some cologne (just a little, sir.) Dress for success. There have been numerous studies that prove you perform better when you feel like you are well put-together.

Inner game:
1.) BHV. Be High Value. Demonstrating high value doesn't cut it. It can actually come off as fake and unattractive if done without some honest truth. How do you BHV? You never stop learning. Take classes. Read things. Do things. Work out (not because you want to look hot for girls. Do it because you care about your health.) If you are constantly taking action to improve and enrich your own life, you WILL be high value. You will be a productive member of society that a hot girl would be PROUD to be with. Again, there is a plethora of information on this forum about this.
2.) Don't be needy. I like to call it: Caring without giving a shit. You CARE about the world and want to make it better. You CARE about the important people in your life. (Hot random girls at bars are NOT important people in your life.) You CARE about yourself. However, you don't give a shit if the HB7+ that you are talking to doesn't dig your conversation at the bar. No matter. You will just talk to someone else who is worth your time. You don't give a shit about her approval. You do care about her opinion, if she proves herself intelligent and courteous. You don't NEED her to like you. That's how she WILL like you.

Hope this starts to help. I promise, there are plenty of "quick fixes" for your issue. Do yourself a favor and commit to a lifestyle that is not centered around "getting hot babes." Start to earn a lifestyle where wonderful, beautiful women want to come into your life. BHV.

Dominance only comes when you aggressively better yourself.

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- Zip

Thanks! that answered a lot of my questions, i had a total epiphany after reading that.

Glad I could help

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- Zip

would i be right if i said that he should give her a neg or two? to make her come down on his level?

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