This has happened to me a few times now but sometimes when I make strong eye contact with a girl she responds with: why are you looking at me like that, or your weird or your looking at me like I'm retarded!

This mostly happens in a club when I'm after making out with a girl and I guess I'm normally feel very confident, maybe over confident so i'll just be staring directly into their eyes and they'll be kinda trying to talk but I'll just keeping looking into their eyes and not really responding to their questions or just saying yes or no and smiling at them. I guess I'm trying to build up sexual tension by doing this.

The eye contact thing often works but its just sometimes girls react as said above. I'm not sure is it that they know what I'm doing and are just doing a bitch test or if some girls are just insecure and aren't comfortable holding strong eye contact or if I'm actually just staring at her like some creep!!

By the way I got the, your looking at me like I'm retarded, comment twice. Both of these times I didn't kiss the girl but she was being standoffish like she didn't want to kiss me but she was still hanging around so I knew she was some bit interested and my attitude can often be like why not get with me, or there's no reason for you not to hook up with me (I don't say this to them by the way). So often I'll kinda just pause the conversation and stare at her because I normally feel very comfortable and confident, and just see how she reacts and try build up some tension, but then if she reacts like this I'm not really sure whats going on. Am I just staring at them like an idiot??!!

Just wondering has anyone else experienced reactions like this and how they fixed it or if anyone can see some obvious flaws in what I'm doing?

Well I always look into the eyes, if they look back at you with horny eyes for more than 2 sec, I´d say you can go for the kiss.

But if a girl is not that interested and she finds it odd that you are staring at her then try holding hands and look at her hands instead. Or look at her mouth when she speaks and her eyes when you speak. You can also divert attention every once in a while and say stuff like "don´t you just love people like that?" or whatever.

Personally I´ve got the "your looking at me like I´m retarded" a couple of times. It usually ends with a kiss close or something, because it means that she is attracted to you but don´t have the confidence to stand up to you. If she really didn´t like you then she would just try to get away ASAP

Sweden

I'm experimentating with this kind of looking too, and every time I tried it, I got the girls looking me back in the eyes with the same glance.

But the point is, I've just used this look 2 times. So you can't really conclude anything about it, cuz both girls were pretty into me.

I know that if you don't do this with a lot of confidence though, you'll look like some creep who hasn't been so close to a girl in his whole life..

Thats my point, you look at her because you´re interested in her, shell look back if shes interested in you. Doesn´t matter if she wants you for sex, money or a relationship. shes interested.

I've been battling with the same problem recently, I find the whole eye contact thing a tricky one.

For example: Your standing at the bar and there's some girl 5 people down - you catch their eye. In this situation I go for the standard 'bench pressed the world' smile and most girls seem to like it usually responding with a cheeky giggle and look at their feet.

However.

Then I look back.....then I look away......before I know it I've been a creep and I bottled it due to AA.

Bummer!....anyway, I digress. I guess my point is that when making eye contact it doesn't have to be all intense and shit to create sexual tension.

Lose the smile. There is no tension if you smile.

Depends where you are in a an interaction as far as the intensity of the eye contact if there is not attraction you do not want to stare at her. If there is an attraction you want to give selective eye contact.

If you are talking you don't want to be staring as much, you want to be looking at them periodically but if you are busy paying attention to them you are likely not telling to good a story. Plus when we have story we are remembering we have to try and remember it and that means breaking eye contact. In deception detection you learn that someone who is telling the truth often breaks eye contact to access the memory in their brain.

Make sure when you make eye contact you smile, if you want to look non-threatening you want to make eye contact, then smile. If you aren't smiling you will look like you are mad dogging or staring them down. Remember there is only one positive facial expression and that is happiness, represented by a smile. Every other facial expression is linked to a negative emotion, fear, surprise(this can be good or bad but often associated with fear or being startled), sadness, contempt, disgust, and anger, depending on their personal back ground they may see a neutral face as any one of those negative looks. In which case they may be upset with how you are looking at them(you are looking at me like I'm retarded). I'd bet that it has a lot to do with your face.

If they are talking on the other hand you can make strong eye contact(make sure to smile), you just have to nod and interact non-verbally while they are talking. I often nod and follow their facial reaction, more often then not mirroring their facial reaction. So if they something sad, or afraid, I show that facial expression. If they are talking about doing something I might act it out and say like this(obviously dependent on the topic). If they are talking about anything I tend to repeat some of their statements, or say something so they clarify.

During eye contact you have to look away periodically, otherwise you look like a by stander at a zoo looking at a monkey. You want to show that you are interested but just like anything else too much takes away.

On the other hand if the situation has become very intimate, the eye contact is strong, there is touching, and there is build up for the kiss you can make very strong eye contact. It all is dependent on the situation, and how far the interaction is, you must learn to gauge when you should advance an interaction and when you need to step back.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I always believed that your intentions can be relayed by your eye contact. It is even possible to just open with eye contact and not say a word if your intentions are not cluttered.

If your intentions are focused to lets say: "I'm horny" or "I want to fuck you" or "I want to kiss you" then this will be relayed to her and feel the same way.

If you have a cluttered intention, like "I hope she doesn't feel awkward doing this" or "please don't judge me" or "I hope she likes me" ... this will be relayed to her and feel what you are feeling.

Remember what ever you feel, she will feel. Through eye contact she will be certain of what you feel.

My intentions are usually "I'm horny" or "I just want to have fun and be social" .... The response I get from girls are either, "You are the best guy I've met tonight", "You are charming", "You are sexy" ...

Hope that helps ^_^!

Sincerely,

Donston

Well if you are just staring at her, smiling, and not saying/responding to anything, I could see why she might be a bit bothered. You can use eye contact to build tension but what you're describing sounds creepy. Respond to her and be sincere. Smiling is great, but dont just stare and smile without saying anything.

I'd say I'm doing more of a cheeky smirk rather than a smile but ya, thanks for then advice guys. I guess sometimes I'm doing the eye contact thing a bit too intense when there not really comfortable enough yet, even if I'm already after kissing them.

And ya that makes sense poeticlyskuac about the retarded thing because when I got that comment I was probably thinking, whats wrong with you girl, and that probably comes through on my face.

Thanks for the help guys!

If they say that you're looking at them like they are retarted, just tell them ite because they are special. I just had to do it...

_________________

This is good advice. I try not to make too much eye contact when someone else is talking but when I am talking, I always hold eye contact. It makes me feel more alpha.

I'm no guru but surely a better state of mind leads to better game.

_________________
Float like a butterfly, sting like when I pee.