My Gf and I finally broke up after 2 years together and about 9months of delusion and denial in a LDR. During this time when my ex was overseas I dumped a best friend for his behaviour (silly jokes about the separation faze). I do respect him for having the balls to say things like that to me. My other friends didn’t want to go there or weren’t too concerned and I was good at handling the scrutiny with witty come backs. But what I don’t like is that he used to beat around the bush, he could never bring it out in the open. My ex wanted me to make up with him now that she and I are over, but I’m not feeling it. Sometimes people in your life stop stimulating your senses and you're detached.

I have another close friend who I feel like is in the same boat- I’m just not feeling it. It’s like we don’t speak the same language anymore and the interactions are predictable and mundane. I have some other friends (newer friends) who are just the opposite every moment we are coming up with something brand new.

This break up put me in a weird perceptual trip that I had never seen before in my life. Suddenly everything that I was doing in the past became clear to me, it all made sense right up until this very moment, it’s like I was unconsciously preparing for this moment. The environment that surrounds me is full of signals now, I’m objectifying women again, I’m feeling their presence and reading their body movements and language. Even the simple act of making eye contact with a female is on another level (a seductive level).

I feel unnaturally high like I’m on drugs like ecstasy or something. Maybe I’m going through mania and I’m probably a little unstable at the moment. So I ask.

Do you guys think I should get in contact with my old friend or dump my other friend as well and move on? It’s hard getting dumped by or dumping a gf, but dumping a “best” friend that’s hard too.

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

Sorry to hear about your break up mate but 9 months would be tough for the very best of couples, if you don't mind me asking why did you break up? Just curious as I'm in a LDR for the next 2 months and want to make it work till then

Depends why you dumped your mate. What do you mean he was making jokes about the separation faze? Was he just mucking around jokingly saying she'll be hooking up with other guys while she's away? Or was he saying it's a stupid idea waiting so long for her?

I would much rather loose my gf over my best mates, girls are mostly temporary additions in our lives while generally our best mates stick by us through thick and thin. I would think long and hard as to whether his jokes about your gf are really worth ditching him.

As for your other mate, it just sounds like you're bored of him, don't "ditch him" but maybe try spending some time apart so it's fresh when you do finally see him again.

i agree.

bros before hoes.

unless he specifically and intentionally disrespected you.

even then, call him out on it.

punch each other.

then hug.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Thanks for your concern. I don’t want to get into too much detail, but we broke up to help each other pursue our dreams (believe me this was meant to happen and it was a beautiful thing). I just hope that I don’t start feeling indifferent about this; I really need the drive of a love lost so I can do what I have to do. But, one things for sure, I recommend doing an LDR if you make it you will be sure that you are meant to be if you don’t you will feel the passion that drives you to do incredible things.

My mate was making the hooking up with other guy’s jokes. It was just childish; he can’t speak to me like a man. I’d rather he tell that I’m a fucking idiot and loser while showing me examples of my foolish behaviour. These two guys have given up on their development, when I see them its “talk about old times, listening to songs from back in the day”. I’ll do that when I settle down and have kids and even when I have kids I will still be tuned to the ever changing environment around us. These dudes are depressing.

I’m very loyal to my bros. Like I said I have other friends who can keep up. One of my mates has a long term girlfriend, but we are still really good mates. I think it’s because our social lives are segmented.

Thanks for your advice, but honestly if I don’t see them for a year and reunite they are still doing the same thing (old songs, talking about back in the day)

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

I’m all about bros before hoes if my bro is still down that is. I wish we could punch each other, but this dudes a wimp. I don’t need weak people in my life.

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!