Hey dudes and ladies ( I know there are a couple of females on this forum),

I am actually in a relationship, but she's been overseas for a year and will be for another year or so. I know!...everyone asks "how do you do it?". Its not that easy, been filling the void with work and studies. I hung out with some friends the other night and realised that I am lacking in the moves department that used to get me by in the social scene ( I'm not trying to pick up by the way). I really love the relationship I'm in, but when I was out with my friends the superficial convos were unfulfilling when your not flirting. Thats why I'm here again (with a new name). I know I'm risking my GF by getting back in the game. I mean anything can happen out there. I'm not about to seduce anyone just lead them on a bit and get in the friend zone like networking.

There is a reason for this sudden "PU" behaviour. For a my GF her interactions are passive in the sense that guys will approach her and open up convos and etc. As a guy women dont come up to me and open up convos. I have to instigate these encounters. Let me tell you fellas its not easy when you see photos of your GF on Facebook hanging out with dudes and posting good times. I try to block my automatic thoughts by thinking of guys on FB as loser AFC's that she wouldn't be interested in. It's a little arrogant when I have never met these guys. I kind of wonder if she's feeling like me unfulfilled, but maybe feeling unfullfilled is due to me abstaining from the scene?

That's why I need to get out there. If I dont keep up with her I will be a shadow of my former self- unresponsive, awkward, unhealthy, unfit, delusional and synical. I dont want to fall in a depressive state.

What I'd like to know from you guys is- should I keep her updated on my social life if theres nothing that can seriously impact on our relationship (even more so)?

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!

if things are going good for you two, after a year apart, and you really love her, and she really loves you, do NOT change the way you are doing things!

i repeat: do NOT change the way you are doing things!

just keep doing what you are doing, but do it better, game her, joke with her, send her funny and nice pics vids, make plans with her, put those thoughts into her head of all the things you two are going to do when you are together. literally set concrete dates for an event (a plan)! this will give her a real (tangible) thing to look forward to. listen to her, make her feel valuable.

this will be way more effective then letting her see that you are suddenly developing a new social life. lol

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

thanx for the support Mack 2.0! some of my close friends just give up when things get tough in relationships.

I actually had set a date to fly over and meet up in about 2 months. I got the tickets too. I'm a little nervous about meeting her new work crew though. I feel like I'm the one who has to impress them? Last time I flew over and she had this "single" girl firend who was kind of aloof and fake/nice to my face, but when my backs turned she would say all this negative stuff about our relationship (some of my friends are unsupportive in this way too). I told her to keep the peeps that support us and ditch the ones that don't. I had to lose a few buddies because of there immaturity- advice comming from guys who have disfunctional relationships.

I will work on some ideas to keep her entertained from the other side of the planet. She works in an isolated resort and has planned some activities that we can do together like snowboarding and stuff. It would be good to share these novel experiences together. Hopefully when I say good by at the airport it will be even harder than the last time.

thanx dude.
the avatar kills me lol

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!