Quick Update.

Wow, Happy Slip made me realize that my learning journal is now a sticky post! I'm proud! I won't disappoint you dear readers! As you might have noticed, my journey is almost beginning... After some time getting over my ex, and some time learning the hard way, I'm know focusing in building the attractive lifestyle that will soon allow me to be a crazy seducer. :p

This being said, here's a small update about my birthday.

My birthday.
The seed I've seeded in Brazil are growing! At my surprise, more than 50 people wished me an happy birthday on Facebook. Okay, that doesn't say a lot, but it's a good signal when it comes to social circles. It allowed me to get in touch with my friends again. A Brazilian chick I've met (only once actually) in Rio wrote me an inbox saying she's coming to Paris. Another one, who compared me to Josh Harnett at a party, answered "I'm good honey" when I asked her if everything was okay in São Paulo (I've only met her once too).

More seriously, I got in touch with Princess again (remember the girl I've met in São Paulo? She used to make out with a lot of guys. At some point, I've spent 3 hours with her). She asked for my number. I'll organize something with her soon.

Another girl has been showing some interest in me too. She used to be my classmate in my school. I remember we had a common interest in Sevilla (a city that I love). She wrote me "felicidades guapo" on my wall... I immediately asked her where she was... She's in Paris. I gave her my number and she wrote me a text in Spanish the next morning. She's a strong HB8,5. I'm calling her Sevilla Lover. Here's the text:
My ex.
She did not wish me an happy birthday. Saying I'm not disappointed would be lying. Even though we all know getting over her was not easy for me, I think I've reacted really good at all this. I kept all my struggles in this journal, never bothered her with my insecurities. She had all the right to leave me, and that was in fact a good decision for both of us. She did nothing wrong, it was all about me. Yet, I do think it was not correct to end a two year relationship with an email. Similarly, I don't think it's correct not to wish me a happy birthday.

But I'm not trying to understand anymore. I've asked myself why she wouldn't even take some news from me, why she would almost avoid me last time I saw her... Things are like this. I better accept the fact that I can't have any answer. I'm not complaining in a "I don't deserve this" way, nor am I saying "whatever". I'm letting it go but I'm disappointed. It's just that sometimes you would like to do good but don't receive the opportunity to do so. An email would have been a good opportunity to congratulate her for her wedding (assuming she would tell me) but she wouldn't give any opportunity to talk to her. I'm actually given up on her.

Organizing an event for my birthday.
I've invited several friends to have a drink with me tomorrow night in Paris. I'd like to go to a nightclub after but it's not going to be easy. My friends are not really into clubs... Anyways I'll see. HSC and Repetto Girl are coming. I just hope my other friends will be able to make it.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Congrats on this thread becoming a sticky. None on the field-reports more deserving.
The format, organization of your thoughts, progress, presentation, critique, depth and honesty of these posts are what make this thread the best on-going field report thread I have read on these forums.

This thread was a huge reason why I joined this forum.

Oh and Happy Birthday.

DAY 77: my very small birthday event.
... and my very small game.

Context.
An attractive lifestyle, that's what I need to begin with. A huge part of this is having good social circles. Not only this shows to girls that you're not a creepy lonely guy, but it gives you depth in social situations. That's why I tried to organize a small event for my birthday. I basically

Goals.
- Have fun.
- Focus on speaking slowly and clearly.
- Focus on eye contact.
- Show dominance: take the lead, be the one who control the frame of the interaction.
- Show a "well calibrated" value: sometimes I have the feeling I do too much, it may come across as overselling. Show value in a better way.

Strategy.
- Have fun: laugh, joke, tease, play around...
- Focus on speaking slowly and clearly: introduce pauses, get attention, simple sentences...
- Focus on eye contact: look when speaking, look around to make people want my attention.
- Show dominance: take the lead, tell stories to reframe the conversation, change subject, keep the interaction positive...
- Show a "well calibrated" value: let other people show my value for me, make them work for me...
____________________________________________________________________

Summary (for lazy people): It was not a good night at all. We've almost canceled it because of the rain and I was not confident at all. I had very little fun even though it got better in the end.

A storm.
I offered HSC to pick her up so we could go there together. Repetto Girl, a friend of hers and three other friends were supposed to go. Yet, right before leaving, a huge storm almost urged me to cancel everything. I did not back down though, and a few minutes later, the weather conditions were better. I picked up my friend and went to the station to get a train to go to Paris.

I was not in a good state since the very beginning. I was bored. I didn't even know what to say to her. I was just listening to her stories. I couldn't handle her at all. She was shit testing like hell as always but I was unable to reply correctly.

At the bar.
I joined some of my friends with HSC. I was struggling to have some fun. We went to a first bar but there were not enough sit for us... We went to a second one. I walked with HSC inside the bar to ask a waiter if he could dry the chairs outside so we could sit... He's just answered "they're wet because it rained... it's normal" and walk away. (?!!) I guess I was finally witnessing the Parisian rudeness in action.

We finally got into a bar. We were talking and I was getting slightly better, laughing and all... but I was still lacking confidence in my opinion. Repetto Girl joined us later. She actually offered me nice Moleskine notebook. Seems like she knows me better than my own sister. I was really touched by that. She's fucking adorable. I'm proud of that ex-one-itis of mine. Her boyfriend came a bit later. He's a bit introverted but I could feel the good inner game I'm missing sometimes. Nothing more happened yesterday night. I didn't make anything happen.

____________________________________________________________________


On the strategy.
- Have fun: I've managed to joke around but that's all. I was disappointed, I was not having enough fun... but was not creating any fun either...
- Focus on speaking slowly and clearly: I was not confident so I didn't manage to do that at all.
- Focus on eye contact: same here.
- Show dominance: I was a wuss.
- Show a "well calibrated" value: lol.

On the Game.
- I don't prepare enough when I organize something.
- Some people bring a good state in me, other don't.
- I need FUN like never: I need to go to a strip club, I need to have some caipirinhas, I need to laugh, I want to travel, I want to go to Ibiza, kiss a damn HB9...
- Beating myself up is not a solution either... relax.

Coming next.
- I'm going out to have dinner with some friends on Tuesday.


I need fun... really. I need fun.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

This is great to hear . . . for some reason, I imagined that they only do this to foreigners and then have a grand ol' 'friendly' party when Parisians amongst themselves!
Everything is moment to moment. You didn't make something happen in one moment. Then just try something else on the next moment. There is really no difference between the next moment versus the next day or next year. These are all "other moments".

This reminds me of a mental exercise that an Olympic rower told me about. I asked him how the hell he manages to go on at FULL capacity when his lungs/heart/body feels like it's about to burst in flames. He told me that in his mind, there are 10 different people he calls by his own name. When the first guy gets tired, he imagines the first guy getting off the seat and the next 'fresh guy' taking over. If it can work for an athlete in one of the most physically strenuous sports, it might work for a guy wanting to crack a joke or two. Might be worth trying . . .
This seems to happen to guys who chase their demons instead of the girl. I'm not saying that I'm immune to this. It's just something that people tend to notice after watching themselves a bit and seeing a pattern.

Just wanted to pop in and give my thanks. I've been following this for a couple a months now and everytime I feel a bit disappointed about my own progress I come back to read this topic and regain my inspiration. Keep up the good work AFC Daniel and the other contributors to this topic!

@Hobbit.

Hey there, been a long time! How are you my friend? Yes it happened a lot, and will probably happen again. But with her it's different. She's too weird for me but she's hot. More clearly, I would definitely like to have sex with her but a relationship would be a nightmare I think. lol. Just thinking about it scares me.

@kasabi.

Haha, Parisians are rude to Parisians too... Maybe even worse! :p More seriously, it's the first time it happens to me. Parisians are not the happiest people in the world that's for sure... but well.


I see, the problem is being creative/spontaneous enough to find something to try on the very next moment! I'll remember your example. It will allow me to be more combative in front of boredom.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

@ConcreteRose.

Being disappointed is normal. I don't know where you at in your journey, but something that clearly helped me was taking a sheet of paper and writing everything I've accomplished since the beginning. See DAY 70. I realized I was not that bad in the end.

But truth is, after more than 6 months in this journey, I was more important to focus on your life and lifestyle in general. Going out to sarge a couple of hours while being unemployed, feeling like shit, having losers as friends... won't take you anywhere. You'll be able to have some success and it will allow you to get experience... but in the end...

We all start at different levels. I've started after a breakup. Now that I'm back in France, I feel like I need to start again... I don't have the lifestyle that I want for me. That's what I'm chasing now. I'm getting my shit together!

Thank you for following me!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

My focus is now on getting a life that I want. Here's a quick update on what I've done lately to become what I want to be.

Working out.
I'm taking it to the next level. I've just bought a bench to work out more efficiently. I can finally do some bench press... and that's huge! I'm now looking for a work out program. I've seen that I need to rest between work out sessions. I have to find more info about that so I don't hurt myself. I'll see if I buy some supplements to speed up the process. This action is not only good for my physical appearance, it's also for the inner game.

Buying a new shirt.
I've just bought an Abercrombie shirt that I wanted for a while. Actually, it's the most expensive shirt I've even bought in my entire life... 110€... damn... I've bought it in Paris and it's actually more expensive than in the US... Anyway, the shirt is awesome so no regrets. I'll keep on improving my style after getting a job.

A new job interview.
The previous job interview went well I guess. The woman who interviewed me spoke about another offer that I might like. So I'm going back there tomorrow. This job would actually make me travel to the US from time to time. OH YEAH. That's the kind of job that suits the lifestyle I want... Sorry sweety, can't see you tomorrow, I'm leaving for New York...

On a last note, I have not forgotten my goal: to have a date with an HB8+ by October 11th. Actions will follow for that too.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

There exists a mental boredom and a physical/real life boredom. I am afraid that you're allowing mental boredom to influence your "here and now".

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Do your best to FLIP the order between 2 and 3 in the flowchart outlined in the above field report. It's difficult to be creative and spontaneous if you've mentally given up. You are NOT the audience! You have the ability. Allow it to flourish.

Quick Update.

Here's another small update on my actions.

Asking Princess out.
I've met her in Brazil and used to shit test me a lot... (a make out with a lot of people). Since she studies in Paris now, I wanted to do something with her. As I was thinking about what to send her, she texted me to tell me she found a job. Here's my answer.
It's a bit bossy but what the hell, I'm supposed to take responsibility. The camera trick is something I got from Vin DiCarlo's No Flake material... It allows me to diffuse her attention... this way she's not "omg, is this a date, should I go?" but more "my camera, why should I take it? bla bla".

She agreed and we're now seeing each other on Sunday morning. Now I'm having the same pattern as usual... I'm doubting... Do I really want her? What am I gonna do with her? This is gonna be another 2 hours spent without any escalation. (that's what happened last time in São Paulo... I spent the entire morning with her without doing anything). The pressure is coming on my shoulders. I'm pussying around. Let's be a man for once. I'll set up some objectives... but what should they be? Kiss close? grabbing her hand... I've no clue and my mind is totally messing things up now...

This last paragraph is the shit that shows that the foundation of my game is still very weak... for now.

Having a dinner with friends.
I didn't write a full report on this since the objective were the same as usual (focusing on speaking slowly, eye contact, dominance... and more generally, reviving my social circles). I had dinner with 3 ex co-worker girls. I was confident, everything went well. I still need to work on the speaking part... I still speak too fast sometimes.

Coming next.
- I'm organizing a new event this week-end with some friends to diffuse the pressure coming from the "date"
- I might ask another girl to get a coffee with me this weekend... witnessing some abundance might help me.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

If you want the videos, you can always Moderator Warning: Talk of these types of behaviors are against the rules!
I've just started downloading P90X, so I will start with that program in a few days...

_________________
Willem

@Hobbit & @Willem.

I knew you were following this thread in secret Hobbit! :p Thanks for the tip. I'll take a look at the P90X stuff. I'm not sure I really want to be that serious about working out though.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Job interview.
It went well. The thing is that the job I'm applying for requires more experience that I have. I'm applying for an evangelist kind of job, it would not only allow me to meet a lot of people, but also to travel around the world (in the US mostly). The CEO of the startup asked me to think about the product launch. I've worked on it this weekend and sent it to him. It was the occasion for me to show my determination. This job is a perfect opportunity to get the international pimp life that I want.

Breakfast with Princess.
I went to Paris to have a breakfast with Princess. In my way there, I received a text message... She was not feeling well and asked me to re-schedule. Since I was on my way, she finally agreed on coming but asked me if she could bring a friend. I answered "no problem, would have been to weird only the two of us". Anyway, I waited for them in the dinner. She came a few minutes after with her friend (a guy).

I didn't let any negative thoughts come to my mind. I actually enjoyed meeting the guy and seeing her again. I spoke with passion about music, the job I was applying... and I ended up taking the number from the guy so we could go to the technoparade next weekend in Paris. Yeah, I did that. I'm meeting new people. I'll try to be alone with Princess another time... I think she freaked out a little, that would explain her texts... That's a good signal I guess. The thing is I have no idea if the guy was her boyfriend or not. Doesn't really matter anyway...

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Typically, girls don't bring their 'boyfriends' on outings with other guys. This is most likely a chaperone. Just go with the flow . . .

Alright, the marketing for that workout seems somewhat dorky but I'm going to give it a shot. Looks like an acid trip for your metabolism . . .

Dear minou,

you can't tell a girl, that is already not confortable meeting you, that " it would be weird just the two of us anyway"

You just can't. It makes me feel so awkward for her, just thinking about it.

It seems this girl does not feel confortable around you ( or/and doesn't feel confortable for you to travel to meet her) cause she must know you're interested and she probably doesn't feel the same herself. It could also be a case of shyness.

Either way My advise is: stop showing any interest in scoring her. Or at least directly. Just switch to let's be fun buddies mode.

Go the techno parade, have fun, chat up girls in front of her ( strongly advise that last one).

make her feel she is out of your target laser.

This way she will feel more confortable around you, see you differently, and maybe develop an interest for you in the future, etc etc, only positive stuffs.

I know socializing is part of your goals, so do that.


But yeah never again admit to a girl that she should feel anything other that super confortable and good if she hangs out with you.

best to you buddy,
xx

bb