I have a quick question.

The girl/relationship
I have been dating this girl for about a month now, and things have been going great. One thing about the relationship is it is her first time ever being in anything serious and having a bf. She has been single for years, so I guess she is still used to that single mindset ya know.

The problem:
Anyways, we were at this party and it was my first time meeting any of her friends. One of her guy friends came up to her, and she introduced me as "her friend". Now, at first, I just ignored it, trying not to come off as being jealous and I just chatted with them for a bit before the guy left. Then as her and I were alone, I joked around about how we are now just friends and I'm gonna go meet some girls or some shit like that. She said she didn't even realize she called me her friend, and joked around with me for a minute or two, then went back up to the guy and re-introduced me as her boyfriend.

I know this isnt a huge issue, but did I handle it correctly? And do you think it was just a genuine mistake on her part, or is this guy someone she is interested in?

Dalinkin
I don't think you necessarily made a mistake, it was good that you made a joke out of it and she obviously thought it needed too be corrected and did so, its still early enough in the relationship that it could be an honest mistake, and for her friend...befriend him, like they say keep friends close and e enemies closer or in your case the would be charmers

My girl has low sex drive ( i think ) I have a high libido ( I always want to have sex or pleasure her in one way or the other ). When I initiate she stops it with: I am not in a kissy mood, not in the mood, headache, cramps, or too tired. I can't remember a time when I started to initiate and she allows herself to continue along with it.

Even the other night I asked for some brain before bed. ( she reluctantly agrees ) I started playing with her tits, and she starts moaning ( she loves her tits being rubbed and squeezed ), Her pussy got super wet, and I start fingering her. I finish, but she doesn't want me to finish her off.... WTF?!

I feel like I can't initiate or ask for sexual favors at all. I feel like there has to be a series of events that lead up to sex to get her in the mood every time.

I don't want to have to go to a restaurant + a club + alcohol to get her in the mood.

The best sex we ever had was when we were broken up and when we first started dating.

Is her mind thinking about another guy? is it hormonal? or do I just not do it for her?

I would make love to her everyday if she would let me. I would give her an orgasm for every dollar she made that day. But she never wants it and never lets me.

Whats going on?

What I would do (calibrate it so it'll fit your relationship and won't be too obvious):

- stop trying to have sex with her. It's easier said than done but act as you usualy do without trying to fuck her.
- It will probably take a few days but sooner or later she'll start initiating sex (it can be just something she says). Brush her off. You are not in the mood.
- next time she tries it make sure you fuck her brains out, cudle, talk to her like lovers do wtc.

Then start over. You'll soon find yourself being begged for sex on regular basis. You make her want it but take control from her. Then she'll have no reason to push you away.

Dalinkin

actually you handled that very well, i think i would handle it the same way as you did! humans make mistakes... and girlfriends are just human as well.. it's fine, we are all human.

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astartes2

What mcare said is good stuff to start out with , it's like push and pull on a sexual level.

actually it can be alot of things .. it can be a psychological issue or a physical issue.

if it's psychological it could be :

1. Insecurity or anxiey ( anxiety about being pregnant)
2. Social conditioning ( parents , religion )
3. Control issue ....
4. Different ideas and boundaries about sex

Control issue : she is just pushing you away and this gives her the feeling of control. IF she is insecure about herself or sex , in that case she won't feel more confident if she does have sex. ''She will feel better if she applies control over you by not giving what you want ''.

different ideas and boundaries : she does have a different view about sex.. some girls really are into foreplay, i once had a girlfriend who didn't want to have sex without any long romantic foreplay.

if you want to find out what it is you need to talk to her about it in a mature and non-judgmental way. just tell her how you feel about it and what you expect in a relationship. It could be she's not interested in the relationship anymore and she doesn't want to invest - but i don't know your reltionship so this is kind of jumping far ahead.

almost in all cases it's psychological...talk to her about it, narrow it down.

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I just got into a new relation with this girl i really like..

being the attractive person she is and she's really friendly as she works in the service line in a hotel. and many of her colleagues have tried hitting on her.

she does go to the clubs with her females friends who are rather wild and i can't help but feel abit insecure sometimes..

is it a problem with me?

Nuteen...

to be honest.. i got the same problem as well.. if someones going doing fun stuff i feel left out. Instead of getting jealous or insecure you might as well tell her to have fun. you have to process your emotions in a mature way , there is nothing wrong with her going out and flirting with other guys '' as long she doesn't cheat it's fine ''. Everytime you feel something negative or insecure, this can be a thought or a unexplainable emotion , you have to do the complete opposite....

what is the opposite of being jealous ? its freedom and freewill
what is the opposite of being insecure ? being confident
what is the opposite of negative ? it's postive

it can be that simple... when you feel negative you act postive.. you feel somehow insecure or jealous- maybe attached when she's going out. You get these thoughts and emotions and they can feel really heavy - like you are breathing heavy dense air , it can feel like the universe is pushing on you.

However these emotions will pass in a few days , and the thoughts will change as long you keep doing counter-intuitive instead of acting impulsive from the ego. This whole process of accepting your emotions can really put a stain on you, you need to take time for yourself to do it, you don't want anything external bothering you.

to answer your question : yes it is your problem, this is great .. this means you can solve it by applying willpower and discipline.

someday the relationship will end , it can be over a few weeks or it can end 60 years later.. you have to accept the fact that it will end. Be honest to yourself and stay in the moment - by worrying about the past or future you are not in the moment and you are not observing your ego because you are too distracted by future projections. In order to have a good relationship you need to have a genuine emotional interaction with your girlfriend, if you are worrying about her cheating or other crap you are not in the moment - you are distracting yourself and by being distracted you will forget. You are not experiencing the experience , this will keep you locked into your head and will keep you from expressing emotions.

last year i met someone who broke up with his girlfriend , somehow it did not felt like a interaction or friendship. it seems like he was confused by his emotions and thoughts about what his ex-girlfriend is doing. it seemed like he wasn't really in the present moment interacting with me - he was somewhere else. being distracted can happen in love relationships as well...

when she's going out send her a text message 'saying '' have fun '' or something similar. Learn to accept her lifestyle... If you have trouble dealing with this , even after extended periods of self actualisation and personal growth i recommend you go see a therapist... but for now just work on yourself and observe your ego.

i said that the relationship will end some day ... with this i mean the physical aspect of the relationship in the material realm. i personally believe that there is also a higher spiritual relationship that doesn't end , even after death.

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So I have a girlfriend here that comes from a very conservative family. She even has a cross tatooed on her. Very religious. She stayed virgin until she was 22 or 23 years old (she's 25). Somethings confuse me about her though.

She told me she gave a blowjob at 14 years old. So how can someone who has those kind of values do that at this age? Am I missing something?

She said to me that I'm only the 3rd guy she sleeps with since she lost her virginity but I managed to have sex with her just after 1 week of meeting her but I knew her from high school so maybe it played a role but I'm not sure.

When I chill with her and her friends, she doesn't like kissing in public and stuff like that. She was worse at the beginning but now it's better because I told her it was bothering me because it was way to much. She's a very touchy person with her guy friends. She'll touch her guy friends but it's never in a sexual way but she still does it. I find it pretty contradictory that she is like that with her friends but she doesn't like showing to much affection with me in public.

She said to me that she used to grind when she was younger when she went to partys but she told me she doesnt do this kind of stuff anymore. When I say why? She says just like that. I challenged her on that and she told me she had no reasons why it's just like that. So when we go out clubbing she's never down to grind on me.

She never says I love you and she hates to verbalize the feelings she has for me but I know she does have strong feelings. We have sex really often and sex is great. I see her every day almost but I feel like she's giving me a lot of mixed signals and the way she acts is paradoxal sometimes isn't it??? At 25, I'm his 2nd serious relationship. She had one with a guy for 9 months when she was around 17-18 years old and she never had sex with him.

Can you analyse her attitude for me?? Thx

So my GF and I just got back together (we previously dated for 2.5 years). Currently its a LDR, 12 hour drive, but she has lost her cell phone. I was with her when she lost it, so I know its not some lie. But here is the problem.

Because she lost her cell phone this narrows the way we talk down to facebook and SPAM. How am I supposed to continue being the Alpha when I cant continually keep contact? Also, when she does get a new cell phone ( about a week) would it be appropriate for me to send her random texts like "I miss you" or "I wish you were here."?

So how much is to much... She has just made a new guy friend (ive met him and he knows that im alpha and that shes my girl) she hung out with him yesterday and is hang out with him again tonight (we moved in together 2 weeks ago) i show know jealousy at all and i let her know that its ok to hang out with him.

He wants to show her a telescope and show her some stars tonight at the beach tonight.

So should i put my foot down and say hay he is about to cross my boundary and should slow down, or just play it cool and let her see him.

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Live and let live...

linebacker30

it's ok .. i gave guy a blowjob when i was 14 ....

lol joking

i think it's just a conflict between character , social conditioning, insecurities and personal growth.

She is getting more mature but somehow she is still fighting with old habits and ideas. during this period she can be unstable, sensitive or very distant - a reality or personality change is never a easy thing.

there isn't enough proof to say she's a liar .. or a compulsive liar... it really sounds like she's very insecure about alot of things , she is just struggling with these ideas.

i think it doesn't have anything to do with you , don't take it personal

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VLCOSENT

yes i know .. if you don't talk to eachother for a week it will be a little awkward... I think it can be appropriate to send such messages. 9 out of 10 times you lose the woman because you worry too much... a week isn't that much. why do you worry that much ?

when you re-intiate contact open by making jokes .. stimulate her emotions - just have fun. always stimulate emotions when you re-iniate contact with a woman.. don't send needy or boring direct texts/calls.

if she is attracted to you , you should maintain attraction and not wait for a week...keep interacting over the internet.

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100%

very hard to say .. most friends are just chodes .. afc dudes who got friendzoned. Yes seeing a new friend 2 times in a row is kinda weird.. if you know what i mean - i don't visit the same friend 2 days in a row.

putting your foot down is hard.. it can come of needy and jealous, you have no power to restrict her freedom. if you tell him he is probably going to tell her - she will be mad because of you trying to control her life and that shit - woman hate that.

the best thing to do is to talk about it ... ask her if she have seen any cool stars , or how it was looking trough a telescope. IF she does have anything to hide or if she did anything that crosses certain boundaries she will probably try to avoid this topic - maybe she will start weird behaviour to distract you from the topic. talk about her interaction with this guy without getting emotional and needy.

if you notice any weird behaviour that you never have seen before, you should tell me about it or post a new thread.

woman can cheat anywhere and anytime .. it's pointless to worry about it - it's something out of your control.

game other woman as well .. this is really important , it gives you emotional leverage on yourself when something bad happens.

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Lodewijkp, last time I posted it was about how to keep Alpha, and thanks for the response, but I have a new question.

She has access to a house phone and I'm wondering how in the world I get her to use it, to call me, without sounding AFC? I was thinking about not calling her until she calls me and if/when she does act like nothing happened. But this is a LDR and I feel as though not talking to her until she calls me would not help the situation. Im confused on what the Alpha is supposed to do. Also, we exchange messages through facebook and my messages are much more involved, filled with negs and funny stories but hers are much more dry and straight to the point. I'm looking for more emotion from her all around with out, of course, sounding AFC. How would I draw this out of her? I have not brought anything up with her.