Nervous when opening



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 Post subject: Nervous when opening
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:16 pm 
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I am very nervous approaching and opening... I have suffered from AA for too long though...

I get the impression that this is something that I will never overcome - but must learn to deal with...

There's an old saying that you can't get rid of the butterflies, you just have to make them fly in formation...

That's what I'm doing... I'm gaming the not so hot chicks and learning how to overcome my AA and make it work for me... and along the way I will even get to sleep with some HB's...

I've never been above having sex with chubby chicks before, so why start now... ;)

Lovecraft...


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:29 pm 
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I have the same problem, but the AA shows up everytime: Hot chicks, not so hot chicks, dudes, old ladies, everyone. I need tips too man


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:01 am 
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first couple set of the night needs to be throw away set. Ironically, some will just hook. I had a night where the first set I opened turned out to be SNL.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:28 pm 
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Its normal man. You are biologically programmed as a male to have approach anxiety. Mystery explained it in a training of his I watched and it REALLY helped me hearing it this way...

120000 years ago there were only 10000-40000 people on this earth... now... there are over 6.4 BILLION... Approach anxiety happens because our bodies are PROGRAMMED from 120000 years ago... back in the day... you have 50 people in your "tribe" right? 25 male. 25 female. Say of the 25 females there are maybe 3 that fit into your standards... You approach 1 of these 3 females the wrong way.. you have now fucked up your chances with the other 2.. however... In today's age... you can walk to a corner of a bar and see 25 beautiful women.. Just think of it this way... if you fuck up.. you walk to another part of the bar or just go somewhere else completely. Thats why its called "The Game". You play. You lose. You press reset. You try again. Women arent scary creatures lol they are human beings too and honestly all of them are usually VERY friendly once you get past the bitch shield...

Don't over think it man... A girl isn't going to think you are hitting on her because you ask where the closest starbucks is...


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:11 pm 
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Its normal man. You are biologically programmed as a male to have approach anxiety. Mystery explained it in a training of his I watched and it REALLY helped me hearing it this way...

120000 years ago there were only 10000-40000 people on this earth... now... there are over 6.4 BILLION... Approach anxiety happens because our bodies are PROGRAMMED from 120000 years ago... back in the day... you have 50 people in your "tribe" right? 25 male. 25 female. Say of the 25 females there are maybe 3 that fit into your standards... You approach 1 of these 3 females the wrong way.. you have now fucked up your chances with the other 2.. however... In today's age... you can walk to a corner of a bar and see 25 beautiful women.. Just think of it this way... if you fuck up.. you walk to another part of the bar or just go somewhere else completely. Thats why its called "The Game". You play. You lose. You press reset. You try again. Women arent scary creatures lol they are human beings too and honestly all of them are usually VERY friendly once you get past the bitch shield...

Don't over think it man... A girl isn't going to think you are hitting on her because you ask where the closest starbucks is...
Great post. I felt like this 8 days ago. I've just started Brad P's 30/30 program. I've opened 8 girls now and am gaining confidence. Suggestion for the OP, pick an opener and stick with it for a little while. You will get confidence by knowing the responses you are likely to get.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:25 pm 
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Im just gonna pop in a bit. From my limited experience, gaming ugly girls is harder - why?

Because they know that you only want their pussy.



Just a heads up.

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 Post subject: Re: Nervous when opening
PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:35 pm 
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I am very nervous approaching and opening... I have suffered from AA for too long though...
Guess what? EVERY GUY IS NERVOUS !!!!

Experience in the field makes it more bearable :)

My experience is that I am nervous the first sentence/first seconds. If I survive this/handle this well, the further gaming is no problem. Of course the first few sets ('warming up sets') i will screw up, but I take that into account


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:58 pm 
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Everyone has some AA, just some people deal with it better than others and experience does help. The more time you take not approaching, your AA gets worse. I just do it and try to not worry so much about what could go wrong.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:23 am 
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Ok I'm going to throw my 2 cents in, but from a stand-up comedy slant. Hope you all get it.

Everytime I approach I have varying levels of anxiety, caused by various factors; previous set success, number in set, sobriety, hotness of HB etc. What I find interesting about the latter (hotness of HB) is that as that increases my AA goes down. This is similar to stand up comedy. Everytime I go up on stage, I get that 'butterflies' feeling, even though I've done successful gigs in front of 300 person crowds - I still get it. What's counter-intuitive is that I don't get it as bad when I've got a big audience, whereas a 20 person audience can sometimes make me feel sick to my stomach. This is mainly due to the fact that if only 40% of the audience laugh at your jokes, it's more noticable in a smaller crowd.

Think about it like this. You walk up to a HB10/500 person crowd with confidence oozing from every pore. They are going to assume you are confident in a situation with a HB10/ 500 person crowd. They're going to assume that this is everyday stuff for you, and that's just because of your confidence. I never met a guy who got AA from talking to a HB5 who he wasn't particularly attracted to in the first place. Firstly, you're not losing much if you f-up. Secondly, the HB5s are easier to talk to because they've developed a personality rather than relied on their beauty throughout their schoollife and worklife. Third, you'll realise that she's not used to being hit on so will be more receptive to you talking to her. So HB5s are easier to approach than HB10, right? Nope. Partly due to the aforementioned confidence, and point 2 I made about personality development.

Now let me take a second and explain why. HB10s don't tend to have as deeply ingrained, complex personalities, and as such they are very succeptable to gaming because they'll enjoy themselves talking to someone who's genuinely interesting, and isn't vulnerable to her beauty/bitch shield etc

If we go back to the stand-up comedy metaphor, note that I always get nervous. It's what seperates me from the crowd. That emotional state puts me one step ahead of them. From the audience to comedian, afc to pua. It seperates those gamed from those who game. Learning this stuff doesn't just give you material, it changes your way of thinking, your perception and your way of reacting. That is what seperates you from your previous AFC self. The material is the tools, but you can't build a house without knowing how to use them.

I did a "solid post" on Confidence and AA a while back, here's the link confidence-and-pma-vt73244.html

Any questions, let me know guys!

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 3:04 pm 
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Sarging with your friends is one of the best ways to overcome AA. Peer pressure to approach a girl makes the AA seem like a small problem. Oh yeah and you don't want to look like a pussy in front of your friends. Think about it...If your mates dared you to approach a HB10...would you do it? Of course! The reason you would say yes is the same reason you started doing drugs. Simple as that...and look now you're talking to an HB10!

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 3:49 pm 
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I dunno BMaster, sometimes sarging with a mate can lead to a half-hearted attempt at pick up.

If your going to do something, be committed, do it whole-heartedly, dont waste your time! Razz I dont mean do something thinking "i'll get this over with, then its done". Do something thinking "Let's see what situation I get myself into here" and "ok, how can I make this better". The amount of times I've convinced AFC mates to approach (which is an achievement for them) to come back with a big smile on their face after bombing annoys the hell out of me. They see their feeble, stuttery attempts as successful because they went in with the mind-frame of "get this done, go back to my mates, be praised for having balls".
Well guess what? They aint getting praised. Anyone can "have balls" for walking over with a defeatist mind-frame, but try a confident one and just observe the improvement it gets you in an approach! Very Happy

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 4:34 pm 
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We all have this. Even Mystery admits he is scared shitless when it comes to approaching. But when you manage to open it'll be pretty spontaneous..

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 8:52 pm 
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I dunno BMaster, sometimes sarging with a mate can lead to a half-hearted attempt at pick up.

If your going to do something, be committed, do it whole-heartedly, dont waste your time! Razz I dont mean do something thinking "i'll get this over with, then its done". Do something thinking "Let's see what situation I get myself into here" and "ok, how can I make this better". The amount of times I've convinced AFC mates to approach (which is an achievement for them) to come back with a big smile on their face after bombing annoys the hell out of me. They see their feeble, stuttery attempts as successful because they went in with the mind-frame of "get this done, go back to my mates, be praised for having balls".
Well guess what? They aint getting praised. Anyone can "have balls" for walking over with a defeatist mind-frame, but try a confident one and just observe the improvement it gets you in an approach! Very Happy
Well there is some truth in that for SOME people. For this particular situation I assume Lovecraft419 does have some PU skills just by reading this forum, but he gets nervous when approaching. Even if they find a girl that they feel comfortable approaching people with AA are always going to be nervous when approaching. It's hard for them to have confidence, at best they just try to act confident on the outside making it less apparent to the girl, which is good, BUT it does not put their mind at ease. Having your friends daring you to approach does give you a little confidence or perhaps cockiness (the good kind), and suppresses your AA IMHO. When people start messing up their opener is when they get nervous, and if having your friends daring you to approach gets rid of some of your AA...why not do it?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:10 am 
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well the best thing that help me learn to approach was learning a bunch of mindsets and techniques, from then on i just pick the ones that worked for me the best
especially the one that you think "it's gonna go bad, so fuck it" that makes me not care of anything i say or do cux i think its gonna go bad,
i know it sounds negative but it will teach you how not to care and once you master that you can change your mindset again

i recommend watching videos about it too
check out his aproaching videos, really helped me
http://freepuavideos.blogspot.com/searc ... pproaching

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:14 am 
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Having your friends daring you to approach does give you a little confidence or perhaps cockiness (the good kind), and suppresses your AA IMHO
For me personally I struggle to really embrace the external pressures of wings and friends to help me sarge. In fact, when I'm being winged I find I work best when I pick my target and just run in with my mindset in an adventurous theme - eg "what can I get myself into this time?" and "let's see where this can take me" - more as an internal challenge if anything.

I suppose it's down to the person sarging, I work better with internal pressures (always have in everything I do), but hell yeah I know people who revel in their friends giving a competative focus on a situation. Remember, BMaster, I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying, I was just showing the other side of the coin to your argument :)

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