coz if it is, im terminal! lol


seriously tho, whats some good ways for a very AFC guy like me to get up a bit!?

It's not a disease, nothing that is a part of our social skills or a way of our behaviour is genetic and unfixable.

The only way that we behave the way we do and we do the things the way we do is because of our education and influence of parents, friends, society... You aren't born with any behavioural pattern (such as shyness), you learn that pattern during your development beacuse of outside factors, so like I said it's not a disease.

Can you overcome it? yes, try to talk to random people you meet (public transport, work, people in McDonald's/Starbucks/Resturants, even familiy members...) Try to get use to talking to people, just 30 second talk is enough, it's like reprogramming your brains from social anxiety, but anyone can do it. I did it (still doing it sometimes )

BTW try the Newbie mission

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

thanks! your right, and i am trying.

its just kinda hard for me.

yes, i completely second everything Kupid said.

I would grab a friend go walk through the city streets and ask for directions to places, ask for the time, where the nearest bus/train stop, good place to get coffee anything like that. These are literally 15 - 30 second conversations and people are socially programmed to be polite and give u a brief response (even an "I don't know") when u ask for something benign like this. approach with a smile, eye contact, and speak loudly & clearly.

Another trick that works is to set a reasonable goal based on how comfortable you are and attach it to a reward you'd like. I started with 5 approaches a day and ate a mini candy bar after each one. Another one is to give ur friend 20 bucks and get it back from him after u've talked to 5 girls. These aren't novel methods i invented but they work well.

shyness is very curable but to beat it you are going to have to push yourself with all youve got and'dont avoid confrontation' dont try to get people to like you instead like people but just be you, even when talking to girls in the beginning its good to risk saying the wrong things say whatever is on your mind tell her your a transvestite tell her you made a porn video today and be totally solid no nervous smile just give solid eye contact and be casual.Find a wing and tell him to try blow you out of a set, so you can learn to handle amogs and confrontation.
When you walk into a club dont see anybody they dont exist when you walk look where you want to go dont tippy toe around amogs use your hand to get through the crowd and move fast knowing what you want.
when you talk to girls dont just look into their eyes but also through into their soul telling yourself what you want if you want one of them, as you walk past people on the street look into their eyes dont look away.
You can eliminate shyness but its like any success if you want massive changes 'you need to seriously fuckn go for it no B.S' and if you feel sorry for yourself because you think your pushing hard remember there are dudes pushing their shyness twice as hard.
get into it!

I am very shy, but I build up the courage to approach women. Obviously alcohol helps, a party is the perfect place. Over the years, through working with public and growing up, shyness mostly left me, but there's still a bit there. Just put yourself out there, don't let it hold you back.

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I'm a lover, not a fighter.

that's very good advice. the only way to fight it is directly by talking to strangers, all ages, both sexes, everywhere you go.

The original question about shyness being a disease, it actually can be. If you are unable to talk to any strangers anywhere, I would suggest going to a doctor about it. Self help can only be a help if you are already functioning at least a little bit.

Shyness is a state of mind just like being happy or sad. The first thing I would do if I were you is stop labeling yourself as a shy person, because we become our labels. Instead say I'm a confident person over and over to yourself and you will begin to believe it. Hope this helps

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Shift Happens

What is the Newbie Mission? can anyone explain it?

I'm willing to do anything to kill my AA and be socially talented..

One way I found that helped get my game on, was to start with shopping malls and using stealth tactics.
I was 2 days in learning PUA when I tried this.
Go on a non-busy day when the mall is usually slow, and the cute sales girls are bored. Even better, a hour or two before the mall and stores closes.
Walk in a shop even if your not planning on buying anything from there. Your goal is to get use to A-1 and even maybe a pickup.
How you walk in, don't rush in, hold your head up and use your Alpha male shoulders back and lifted chest. Walk slow and try to get eye contact with all the sales girls. If they smile at you, smile back, you can even nod your head alittle to acknowledge them. Walk around the store for a min slowly, then you can use openers such as.

Hey can I get your opinion about such and such item. Ofc your not planning on buying it. Your using it as a opener prop. Then after some bantering you can then start to bring the focus of intention on her and yourself. Usually given the amount of time of bantering you already made a quick reading of the girl. Then you have alot more material to use. Such as her hair, changing focus off the prop to her. Then you can totally get her off subject of her trying to sell you something, and she won't even notice. On top of it it won't look strange, because she works there, however if you find yourself in choppy threads, you can then always recover by going back on prop topic.

And if you need to eject, tell her she was very helpful and you need time to think about buying X item.

However if you build good enough rapport with her, and she exchanges or asks your name it's an IOI and you can then proceed to say, like what time do you normally close. Obviously in 30 mins is closing time. You then can say you know what I have afew more places to check before the mall closes, but after your done working lets have coffee together, looks like you can use it after along days work. Here lets exchange numbers. You just gave an excuse not to buy anything without you looking like your trying to pick her up. You then can even add: I'll be at such and such coffee or restaurant and that after a day of shopping I'll be there to chill. Instant date FTW.

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Survive and Replicate, we are WOLFs, but with good intent.

No, do not think of Shyness a disease at all. To me at least, a disease implies there is something wrong with you. Shyness is more a reflection of exposure.

When I mean it is a question of, "exposure," I'm distinguishing shyness from personal attributes and characteristics such as confidence and self-esteem. I would also move away from understanding shyness as an issue of confidence and self-esteem. I'm sure you have heard of the famous actor who nonetheless is quiet in person. If you haven't, trust me when I started out I was and still am one of the most confident people around but nonetheless had an issue with shyness for some time.

I overcame my issue with shyness through exposure. I actually worked with a very notable psychologist to overcome my issue with shyness. Some people suggest a sort of, "get thrown in the deep end of the pool to learn to swim," approach to overcoming shyness. My psychologist does not.

Here is how we worked--keep in mind this was a while ago and I was deathly shy so much it interfered with my career.

1. He first started with making basic eye contact with people at work and saying, "good morning." Then the next session, he would ask me what resulted from making eye contact and saying, "good morning." I told him, the person smiled and said good morning back. He then indicated so was it a positive or negative experience. I indicated positive.

2. He then indicated I continue to make eye contact and say hello, but added that during breaks after doing so ask the person how they are doing, at the end of the week ask how their weekend was looking like. I came back to the next session after doing what he indicated. He asked me again was the experience negative or positive. I indicated positive.

3. Then he indicated I continue with the same, but after the end of the weekend was over on Monday return to the person and ask them if their plans for their weekend worked-out, if they enjoyed their weekend. I returned to the session having done so. He asked me again was the experience negative or positive. I indicated positive.

At this point in the process, people at work would actively come by my desk and talk to me and make small talk. So, gradually I became very social at work. So much, I was no longer shy at work and developed a good rapport with everyone.

If you look at the pattern. One, there is gradual exposure to contact with unfamiliar people. Second--the more important part--is that you acknowledge that social interaction results in a positive experiences. The third part--even more important-- is after enough positive experiences being social, your mind equates social activity with something positive--like sugar, or what have you. So, you begin to want to have more social interaction.

Everything is an issue of exposure. If you find that you are unable to do it yourself. Then I highly recommend working with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist who specializes in social interaction.

Another issue you might encounter even after beginning to overcome your shyness, is that in talking to people your mind might go blank or you do not know what to say for the conversation to continue.

Trust me, you know what to say. If you have close friends and family, I'm sure you have no shortage of things to say. The reason you are able with friends and family to come up with anything to say is that you are relaxed.

The reason your mind goes blank or you do not know what to say, is because you are not sufficiently relaxed--instead you are anxious. Once again, only with exposure will you be completely relaxed in social situations.

Wit and humor require you are relaxed. Once relaxed you can come up with anything.

Shyness sucks. I used to be shy around HB's all the time but I have outgrown that stage of my life. So step up to the plate and go for anything that you like! People say, "shyness is part of your personality" you must prove them wrong. Go out and talk to EVERYONE what can you lose?? srsly life's too short to be shy.

its ridiculous when someone says "shyness is part of his personality",it doesnt make ANY SENSE,if the guy is shy,there are tons of other reasons,definetely not something "genetic".

I'm a shy guy sometimes - after chilling a few times I'm the opposite and am more than open...but new people or people I dont see often - wtf do you talk about???