This 'needy' thing is overrated. "Needy" is calling her up over and over again and telling her that you love her and asking her out all the time. However, what you're doing is floating around hoping that she'll understand that you like her simply by the virtue of 'number of calls'. . . (Call her once = like her little bit. Call her 3 times = like her a lot. Call her too much = needy)

Read this:
i-like-you-you-like-me-vt79450.html?highlight=

In regards to the 'guilt sale': It can work but this isn't you. The idea isn't to make her feel guilty over causing you some sort of trouble. Instead, the idea is to make her feel as if she 'lost out' by not having put some energy into interacting with you. So it's YOU who should tell her something like, "Oh, I'm sorry. . . you missed out. A bunch of us went to _______ in the afternoon. The sunset was gorgeous. I'll show you pictures later . . . "

Keep opening more. Keep getting numbers. ASK THEM OUT. Get 1 on 1 opportunities.

DAY 41: followup on Little Miss Sunshine.
Reframing the shit.

Okay guys. I've got a lot to say today. But first of all, here's a followup on Little Miss Sushine.

My answer.
Thank you for all your feedbacks. I went to the university today and got home. I wanted to answer to Little Miss Sushine after seeing your feedbacks. The main goal was to reframe everything. Here's what I came up with; Of course this is not perfect, but I wanted to do it by myself, instead of asking the community "what should I answer?". I wrote back on Facebook. I feel weird about answering to a Facebook message by text.
In a nutshell:
- I did not play the "guilt part" but try to make her feel a bit ridiculous for apologizing "ahah you're funny"... like "I don't care"... Don't know if it's good or not. (Maybe not on second thoughts).
- I reframed her as being "weird" on the phone.
- I tried to play the whole beer party thing in a cool way.
- I played the French card again.
- I reframed her again as being shy. Told her to call/ring me next time.


Her (immediate) reaction.
She actually was connected through the chat... 5/7 minutes later she opened me:
HER - So I'm funny? (shit test I guess...)
ME - Oi! You here?
ME - Tudo bem? (how's it going?)
We spoke about university and got some information. She starts classes on Monday, like me. So I'll have to be on top Monday.
ME - how have you been doing btw?
ME - were you sick?
ME - you gotta take care of yourself miss
HER - I've got some pain in the throat (translation from Portuguese)
HER - sometimes it just hurt A LOT.
HER - then I loose my temper. (that explain the phone call)
ME - strange
HER - it's my tonsyl.
We spoke a bit about that and got an information I wanted: she does not smoke. I came back on the "temper" thing:
ME - "loose temper"? you're Brazilian, you can't be anything else than "alegre" (=cheerful)
HER - ahaha
HER - more or less
HER - you think that Brazilians are always cheerful?
HER - haha you're so wrong
ME - me wrong?
ME - well I dunno
ME - we barely know each other in the end
ME -but you seemed to be a smiling person
ME - am I wrong on this one?
HER - hahahah
HER- but i'm really shy
ME - ?
She left.

First thoughts.
- I've tried to be C&F here. Should I be more cocky? Damn, I always feel good about the interaction but right after, I'm like: "wait... I've done nothing here". Should I have show her more interest?
- I don't like the fact that she left. I should have been the one to cut the conversation. Maybe the connection dropped. But if not, what does this mean? Why would she do that?
- Damn, she was actually shy... I thought I was the shy one. Shit, I love that.
- She got temper though.

Next steps?
- Should I text or something to show that I care about her (since she's in pain?). Is this too nice... damn I'm a bit lost here. I'm affraid of the friend zone but it could be cool to actually start to build something through text.
- Should I wait to see her at the uni on Monday?
- Should I... damn, dunno actually what to do.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Well, after all even if you finish in the LJBF zone, she will be a goldmine since she know all those other girls in the French class...

So you actually have nothing to lose!

Even the friend zone is a wonderful outcome!

So my advice would be... dont overthink and have fun with it! And, above all... SARGE OTHER GIRLS!!!

Hmm well dunno.

But I did close another Brazilian girl today in the bus. I'll write the report later so people can react on the last post.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

AFC Daniel,

Time to get serious . . . not really . . . It's time to have some serious fun . . .no, that doesn't sound right either. Well, just read on:

Take a good hard look at the vitruvian woman above. This is the image you should have in your mind you when you meet any woman who strikes your fancy. Here are the rules:

1. The center of gravity of ANY woman is in fact her vagina. (The artists have it slightly wrong)
2. The further out you go from her center gravity, the less rewarding it is for you and less effect you will have on her emotional hook for you.
3. The outer rings are easier to achieve than the inner rings. Hey, we can simply offer your hand and shake hands with a stranger right? But you're not going to pull a stranger's shorts down and finger her vagina . . .
4. Every time you achieve a ring, it becomes easier to achieve the next inner ring.

The mentally challenged can only escalate beyond each level through physical touch and vulgarity.(Nothing particularly wrong with this.) The smart and creative have far more interesting strategies to augment the obvious methods. If you genuinely lack strategies to move further into the rings, let us know. However, if you're just sitting on your ass in fear of being 'needy' or whatever it is, get going.

Every interaction with a girl should take you closer to her center of gravity. Take a look at your last interaction. It is not particularly the slow rate of escalation that throw guys into the friend zone but rather the actual lack of progress. You can go as fast or as slow as you like but there needs to be progression.

One thing i copied from a friend was to go for the handshake and say "oh thats too formal, come here", then hug them. From there you can speak in proximity and stay or go back there as much as you want.

You can even lower your hands onto her hips, run your finger along her spine, grab her ass the more you have random hugs.

the hug is a powerful, simple technique. But it might not suit your style, just a tip.

_________________
"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

Hey Kasabi...

Nice post man. My strategies for kino I have written down in this thread. I'm keen to go further. With complete strangers I find the opener difficult enough so I'm not even kinoing yet... Except maybe in a club environment where I just kinda go right in.

So how do you go BEYOND the handshake when opening strangers in the day? I've watched all of Richard La Ruina's escalation videos. But was wondering what ideas you have and how do you get into THAT state?

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Got you Kasabi. All about escalation
Guess you're right. Truth is I don't wanna come accross as needy since I'm affrait it will make me needy. Of course, I'm also affraid of being disappointed. I can't tell you if I lack strategies right now, I think I'll do some KINO stuff. Gotta give it a try.
Sure, I'm a bit lost on mid-game right now, but I'll get this straight.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

In regards to your convo with her, it was light and friendly, but she def knows you're attracted to her, so that is good. Your comment to Miss Sunshine about brazilians always being cheerful could have been complimented with a comment towards how they are always beautiful/passionate/sexual/hot/something implicative. Remember, when your naturally charming and un naturally sexual, you need to balance out the context of convo...She will NEVER think you are being creepy, just that you have both aspects of a man she would consider fucking. On a txt or FB chat, you're going to HAVE to verbalize the sexual nature, rather than in real life, where you can continue to be charming while you touch her or eye fuck her or turn yourself on or whatever.

Her: You really think brazilians are all cheerful?
You: Nice skin, Beautiful eyes....I'd be cheerful too.
Or
At least the hot ones...am I wrong?
BlaBlaBla, In france all the good looking ppl are cheerful all the time, why do you think I am so much fun?
Her: Wow, you're turning me on, lets go have a threesome with my sister

And there you have it, keep pickuping on other endeavors, don't fixate on this one.

Use the info on her tonsils to play the: "what? I can't hear you" She leans in, "Sorry , I still can't hear you" Now she is close, your hand is on the small of her back. "Oh, wow, you're too close, you're contagious, remember?" push her away, hands on hips, smile on your face, hold her at arms length with your hands still on her hips and continue convo face to face, let your hands slide off slowly down the side of her thighs and off, pay attention if she reconnects kino. BAM, ur hands near her "center" and she feels shy from your fear of her death disease. she won't be using it as an excuse again. If she touches you back immediatley after, this is VERY good and you're going ot have to get over her contagious disease, because you can k-close her.

A self described shy girl touching you is a concious effort on her part, so it holds more weight than the village whore touching you cause she has something sticky on her hands

I actually sent a text today calling her Little Miss Sunshine, but yeah, as Kasabi said, I need to escalate. I know it. But it's hard to me to figure out how to do it without seeing her (through chat or other). You're giving me some insight here, thanks.

I do have another option now though.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 41: "closing" a girl in the bus.
Being French and funny.

Okay guys, enough with Little Miss Sunshine. Let's speak about the approach I made on the bus back home.

Waiting for the bus.
Today was my first day at the university. It was pouring when I got out. I stayed a bit with the other exchange students and got in a bus. Wrong direction. Got off and started to wait accross the road. I opened a cute HB8,5 for direction.
ME - Oi! Do you speak English? (in Portuguese)
HER - No (smiling and a bit shy)
ME - okay, I'll try to do it in Portuguese though (being modest about my Portuguese)
ME - do you know if the circular comes here?
HER - no, I'm not from here.
ME - ... oh! you're lost too. (laughing)
HER - I'm gonna ask to them (pointing at 2 younger HBs)
I opened them the exact same way, the answered me that they spoke a little English. Anyway, I spoke Portuguese and got my answer. The bus I was looking for was not stopping here, so I asked if a bus could take me to the nearest place where I live. The HB heard that and told me she is going there too
I started to speak a bit about how buses were complicated for me since I came from France... bla bla... The bus came, I got in, sat next to her. I was in.

About her.
She is nice, has a really beautiful face actually. She smiles a lot but I thought she was 27yo or something but was my age in the end. I actually thought she was out of my league since I don't like dating an older woman, I'm more into younger girls. Plus, she might be the same weight as me (she was not fat, but I'm 1m80 for 62kg) and that's a bit uncomfortable for me. Excuses? Perhaps. Stupid? For sure.

In the bus.
I was funny, joked a lot and made her laugh as hell. I'm not gonna write everything, would be too long. But well, here are the main points:
- I introduced myself, we shook hands => KINO
- Got her name, joked about it, about mine.
- We spoke about my university (best of the country) => DHV
- Told me she was 23 (I thought she was 27 or more) and that her birthday is coming.
- I did all that in front of other exchange students I've met during the day (I was not with them though) => DHV?
- Asked for cool places to have a drink, told me she likes to go to Vila Madalena (coolest place in SP). Laughed about it and teased her: yeah I see the kind of girl you are. => TEASING
- At some point, I just took her hand out of the blue and noticed the French manucure. She was impressed. => KINO
- I asked her if I was dress like a Brazilian. Told me yes but here people do not wear scarfs... I joked about it... => FUNNY
- I told her I was impressed since she actually studies till 11pm and work during the day. She liked it. => FUNNY
- Another woman was actually really entertained by the show. I opened her too quickly. => Social Skills
- We got off the bus, told her she deserved a French goodbye. Kissed her on both cheeks and grabbed her by her waist. => KINO

Closing... or not.
I knew she were getting off at the same stop, so I thought I should wait for us to split to go for an eventual number close. But she actually was the one who asked me my Facebook profile so we could go to a Japanese restaurant. I was surprised. She took some stuff out of her purse. I took her phone im my hands, asked me what I was doing, told her I was giving her my name. She answered that her phone does not allow to do this (old phone, not a smartphone). She gave me a paper and told me to write my name so she could "understand my writing". Joked about it and told her my writing was better than hers. We spoke a bit more and then got off the bus. Now I'm waiting for her to add me on Facebook. Not worried though

What I've learned.
- I should #-close every time.
- I could have gone even further in KINO
- I should just do what I want: that's what I've done. That was fun and I've been succesful.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

You've got it! Good work, keep opening, roll with the momentum. Try to stack potential dates before going on one. That way, if your mid game fails, you won't have it colour your next approach. If you fuck up or get rejected for whatever reason, you won't have to start all over, just call up the next girl and tell her where to meet you. It will be good either way, you could have five kisses in a week or 4 learning opppurtunities and one perfect friday!

You are on the cusp!

Man, you've played it very good!

This is definetly a solid #-close!

Well done!

You could have said "I don't use facebook often, let's just exchange phone numbers", you had her phone in your hand! Go for it! I really dont like facebookk closing, it is too complicated to set up a day2 with facebook, you always need a phone number...

I think I'm starting to find my game here. Everytime I've been funny and done what I wanted I succeeded... and it was actually easy. I have to approach more though to confirm this.

Here's when I am now:
- I have a good body language
- I maintain eye-contact
- I smile a lot
- I'm fun: joke and all, "are you making fun of my Portuguese?"
- I KINO a little: handshake, kiss goodbye

I need to fine tune these things and add some sexual stuff. But I'm going there.

I also need to get back to a better organization.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

It does depend a lot on the culture though. When I'm looking at statistics that I'm comparing by interactions. Social networking s.a. Facebook or Netlog, are a part of communication that is used a lot in Belgium. While in for example the Netherlands, the FB communication aspect is a lot smaller.

Like everything; it does make an pretty big influence - culture that is.

≠ LD

_________________
Founder & coach at Dance 2 Seduce -- contact me for more information.

FREE coaching advice on Fridays from 22PM to 23PM at the MPUA chatroom.