FIRST EVER time out on the field. detailed. disaster?



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 11:12 pm 
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ok so if u dont know about what i been going through recently check out my first post in the newbie thread.

in short im basicly this real quiet guy (shy if u like) hardly ever has anythin to say to his guy friends let alone any girls, who has moved to a totally new country away from everyone he knows for 2 years. its been 2 months and i have not been out once yet and not made any lady friends or even any real good guy friends. and i am really depressed, i thought this new life/country might give me the chance to change and develop into a new and better person. in 2 months i never went out to a club until monday when i went out with a few friends, didnt enjoy myself but i saw oppurtunities where i could spit game, but i didnt i decided to get used to surroundings before i started to play the game.

now remember i do not speak a word of this language so its more harder for me i guess.

anyway thats my background in a paragraph.

i have been on this board for a while now getting ready for friday night. checking out some vids on youtube aswell on how its done. how to reduce approach anxiety etc. such as u know the newbie drill - going to the mall and sayin hi to everyone u meet. i didn't do this, as i saw it a night club would be easier to interact with women as thats where u go to socialise right? i thought i would start at a night club first, then go out in the day and improve my confidence maybe?

ok now heres the field report:

Theres a bigish sorta event going on at this club, its friday night. it starts pretty early (9pm - 2am). I decided to go to this alone. Anyway so I turn up at about half 10. The place is dead! I go in all confident look around for HBs, and theres only like 3 sets in this whole club lol. Either I was early or this town does not know how to partay. Anyway the sets were all packed with loads people, mixed both guys and girls. i decided not to try opening any of these sets as a) it was my first night, b) i don't know the language, c) i was alone d) they were big groups. It wasn't looking so good, I mean if I were alone walking around I would stand out more, right?

So I get myself a drink, and then I noticed a 2 set. a HB8 and a butt fugly UG10 (lol no offence to her). So I thought fuck it, im here i gotta do this. I go sit next to them (not right near em but close enough). The UG10 goes to the toilet, so i go closer to the HB8 and ask her if she speaks english, she said yes and then I asked her whens this party starting!? she says "i dont know". I don't say anything after that. Her friend returns they be speaking in their language and I sit there not saying anything. For about 2 minutes. Then I thought cmon dude this HB speaks english what were the odds, I gotta make this happen, I got 28000 days to live lol!!

So now it was take 2 if u like, so heres how it went.

Me: Hey, u guys from around here?
Girls: No, were from turkey
Me: oh ok, so u guys on holiday here?
HB8: No, were here studying
Me: Oh! really? Me too, what uni?
HB8: Blah blah
Me: U guys speak really good english, most people i met here can hardly say a word of english.
HB8: *blushes* thanks
Me: Can I ask u guys a quick question? I need a girls opinion on summit
HB8: *laughes* yeh ok then
Me: ok I have this friend right, she emailed me today telling me that she was looking through her boyfriends mobile phone and she found pics of his ex.
HB8: *laughs*

*the UG10 doesn't speak much english so at this point it was jus me and her*

Me: so yeh she was asking me for advice, me and her were really tight like brother and sister.
HB8: So now u asking for our advice *laughs*

*Then she explains to her friend in their language, they both start laughing*

Me: Yeh so shes really considering breaking up with this guy, over this little thing, dont u think? I mean they only been seeing each other for 6 months. What would u guys do?
UG10: I would break up yeh.
Me: Really? But they only been seeing each other for 6 months!? And those pics were like of the holiday they went on, u know good memories and stuff.
HB8: 6 months is a long time, girls get jealous easily.
Me: Oh right really, is that how girls are? So do u guys keep pics of your exs?
UG10: No I delete mines as soon the relationship is over.
Me: Oh ok... Just noticed something, are you guys like best friends or something?
Girls: yeh
Me: Yeh I could tell coz whenever u say something, or i say something u have to look at each other, see u just did it again.
Girls: *LAUGHS*
hb8: yeh, we know what each other is thinking.
HB8: so where are u from?
Me: try and take a guess
*Girls discuss in their own language*
Hb8: we dont know
Me: England
HB8: u dont look like a guy from england
Me: Yeh my background is different. but i is from england.
Hb8: so what u doing here?
me: im studying like u guys. im here for 2 years.

now an awkward silence creeps in for about another 2-3 mins, they start talkin with each other in their own language. i totally blanked out, didnt know what else i could say. I picked up my phone, pretended trying to ring someone. then couple of mins later..

me: so have u guys met any locals here?
hb8: no, they are really cold, really quiet.
me: yeh..... yeh i know exactly what u mean. i mean im waiting for a friend right now, hes from around here, just lives around the corner and hes always so late. im starting to feel lonely *laugh*
Girls: *laughs*
me: so how long u guys here for then (aimed at UG10)
UG10: here for 2 years.
me: so how u finding the place so far?
UG10: good, turkey is still better
me: really? u guys prefer turkey?
Hb8: yep
me: why is that then?
hb8: blah blah (cant remember wat she said)
me: ok u guys wana play a game
hb8: what kind of game
me: ok u 2 think of a number between 1 and 4, and lets see which one of u 2 i have a connection with more
girls: ok
me: ok now don't say it. imagine it in your head. imagine drawing it on a blackboard. ok?
girls: ok
me: is the number...... 3
girls: yeah *laugh*
me: ok ok now think of a number between 1-10. got it?
girls: yeah
me: 7?
hb8: no.
ug10: yeah yeah!!
me: yeah!! *high 5s the ug10*
hb8: thats a cool game
me: yeah but a real short game huh.

*Another awkward silence moment, 1 min maybe*

Hb8: Are u feeling lonely now?
me: *laughs* Well Im still waiting for him to arrive, so yeh..
hb8: how old are you?
me: 22, and u?
hb8: 21.
me: so how do u guys know each other?
hb8: known each other for 5 years
me: cool.. hmmm so u guys really good friends. so u guys here alone? or with other ppl from turkey
hb8: alone
me: so how old do u think most ppl in this club are?
girls: dunno
me: do u think they all local ppl?
hb8: yes maybe.
me: so do u guys like to travel?
hb8: yeh
me: so what other places have u been?
hb8: paris
me: oh really, did u like it? what did u get up2?
hb8: blah blah cant remember wat she said.
hb8: *laughs* sorry my english is so bad.
me: no no. its really good
me: so what did u guys wana be when u were 7. now don't say princess.
hb8: *LAUGHS*
hb8: I wanted to be a vet.
me: oh u like animals?
hb8: yeh, what did u wana be?
me: a supermodel.....
hb8: *laughs*
me: no just jokin!

*Yet another silence moment*

*I knew this was too many, and this set is soooo dead by now, right? So I picked up my phone, put it on my ear, got up and walked to the corner of the room and pretend to talk (a roll off if u like). After a couple of mins I came back finished off my drink.*

me: hey girls, I gotta go, my friends actually at the restaurant next door. il stop boring u guys for now.
hb8: your not borin us *with smile on her face*
me: yeh do u guys fink they will let me back in if i go out?
hb8: they should do?
me: yeh anywayz, can i get your numbers so maybe we can hang out sometime?
hb8: yeh definately
ug10: put ur number here

*the ug10 quickly takes out her phone from her purse lol, she seemed excited*

me: *i take out my phone* here.. whats your name? (to hb8) and here type ur number in etc....
hb8: gimme a misscall so i can get ur numba
me: and u? (to ug10)
hb8: i didnt get ur misscall
me: lemme try again.. oh wait no network..
hb8: here... is this how u spell ur name? ok here type ur numba in plz
me: ok girls it was nice to meet u. *shakes hands*

THE END

ok i know that shit was detailed lol but i need as much advice as i can get. I know I messed up in so many ways:
- biggest one - too many silent moments. i couldn't keep the conversation going (considering the fact that i am a quiet shy guy, thats no surprise, i knew that would be my downfall). the pua material gave me some shit to talk about and get them laughing aswell. i think i was getting some IOIs from the hb8, didnt really notice but she definately was laughing a lot, when we were conversating and at the end she seemed keen to take down MY number.
- no dhv stories
- no kino escalation whatsoever (just didnt feel comfortable) kept feelin like people were watching me or something, as i said there wern't that many people there, and a table behind us were a group of boys that kept lookin over.
- i did not sit back (the seating was not suitable, ug10 was sat on the other side if u like and she kept leaning over as it was)
- hb asked if i was feeling lonely anymore. i didnt know if to take the right way, or the wrong way. right - were ur friends now. wrong - get the hell out of here u freak.
- my main concern tho - conversation died down toooo quick. i knew this would be the problem. I NEED ADVICE ON HOW I CAN IMPROVE THIS.

- But i am happy that I a) opened the set. b) got them laughing for a bit. c) rolled off and then showed courage to come back. d) got a number close at the first time of asking 8)

any other problems u guys see??

If u guys don't mind can u please post the PROS and CONS of this pickup please. Would be much appreciated.

And should I call this hb8 for a day 2. do u think shes interested. Im assuming if I do call her out, she will bring her friend along.

and as said before some advice on keeping a convo going.


Thanks.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 11:58 pm 
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Don't ever call it a disaster man... that's the worst thing you can ever do!

Think of it as a learning experience. Pick up a camera, and get these girls to show you around the place, get some good photos, and learn about the country. You'll be a more educated person.

Definitely call her if anything just to talk, it's always good to have friends, especially since you're in a new country!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:17 am 
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Quote:
UG10: No I delete mines as soon the relationship is over.
HAHA! Like the UG10 ever had a relationship.

Your opener was really good because they did open. Excellent with the BF test. Playing games is good (shows you're playfull, DHV). Bad when you did the ESP test with a chance to let UG10 think she has "a connection" with you (However you can smooth talk your way out of that, say 'We'd make really good friends').
Quote:
me: so how do u guys know each other?
hb8: known each other for 5 years
me: cool.. hmmm so u guys really good friends. so u guys here alone? or with other ppl from turkey
hb8: alone
me: so how old do u think most ppl in this club are?
girls: dunno
me: do u think they all local ppl?
hb8: yes maybe.
me: so do u guys like to travel?
hb8: yeh
me: so what other places have u been?
Dude, this was like a knife twisting in a stab wound. You were just grasping for soooo much conversation here and telegraphing too much interest. This means because they didn't pickup the conversation that you hadn't reached the "hookpoint" with them in the convo.

So now to the BIG ISSUE and the solution. The akward pauses in the conversation. In these times if you haven't reached the hook point, the best thing you can do is throughout a 'OMG!' story. Either real or canned material.

HBs: *akward pausing*
You: OMG! *Shocked Energenic display*
HBs: What! What!
You: I totally forgot! But you'll never believe what I saw the other day.....blah blah blah

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:43 am 
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Heres the thing tho. the HB is really really a HB. And afterall she did give me her number.

SHould I call her? And if so. Do I stand a chance with her anymore? WHat would be my day 2 game strategy (in both case scenarios - she comes alone or brings her friend)?

Is it acceptable if I use DHV stories in day 2, run some pua ruutines, escalate kino and maybe end the day with a k-close! Or is that just for the pick-up stage?

Any suggestions for a day 2 guys? Shes also new to the country so the "u can show me around" line won't work lol :P


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:35 am 
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Quote:
Heres the thing tho. the HB is really really a HB. And afterall she did give me her number.
Who gives a fuck?
Quote:
SHould I call her? And if so. Do I stand a chance with her anymore? WHat would be my day 2 game strategy (in both case scenarios - she comes alone or brings her friend)?
Yes call her, your strategy is to appear interesting while showing 'the real you'.
Quote:
Is it acceptable if I use DHV stories in day 2, run some pua ruutines, escalate kino and maybe end the day with a k-close! Or is that just for the pick-up stage?
You're still in the pickup stages, so yes use them.
Quote:
Any suggestions for a day 2 guys? Shes also new to the country so the "u can show me around" line won't work lol :P
See something 'new' together'. Experience emotions together by seeing something neither of you have seen. Or if you can't think of anything, JUST GO FOR COFFEE!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:51 am 
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This is so far from a disaster, it's kind of silly that you used the term. Think about it like this. Would the old you, of talked to these girls AT ALL? Would you have even gone to a club alone. This is so much improvement man! Listen to the other people advice though. Good job man!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:02 am 
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I cant believe I read this long ass story, brownie points for that.

--I know what contributed to your akward pauses, it was the lack of multiple threading which helps prevent akwards pauses.


Last edited by Ubium on Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:46 am 
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Well you got the HB's number which i imagine was the goal of your night. Something that kept coming up, it was prolly differnt in the club but it seemed like you were asking a ton of questions and stuff. Try and do some DHV and if possible try to escalate some kino.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 8:32 am 
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i agree with everyone... great job for your first time. i remember my first *sigh*... did not go so well haha.

anyway... here's my analysis on the situation. you did well but you did seem a little try hard for a pua... but a social and friendly person for an afc... it's expected starting out. basically you need to be more alpha and not give a shit.

you did well by talking to them and asking questions but here are some tips for next time:

-you don't necessarily need to keep the conversation going, just get them interested and see if they reinitiate the conversation (an IOI). so throw a few negs at them! be a little cocky funny.

here are some examples:

PUA: "you guys remind me of my nieces, they also like to laugh for no reason..." *smile*

PUA: "so you guys are here studying, woww.... so you're one of thosssse girls."
HB: "what do you mean "THOSE" girls"
PUA: "well you know, the type that's all work and no play..." *smile* "... yea you guys look too goody goody for me..."

PUA: "hey i think i remember seeing someone else with that necklace/dress/shoes... there must have been a sale or something because i think you're the third person i saw today with them"

PUA: "whoaaa... is she always like that?" *smile*

etc. basically try to make them up on the spot. be cocky/funny and alpha. have the "i don't really care" attitude so when you have those silent moments they'll be trying to qualify to you because you're unimpressed and you've shown enough DHV...


as for the questions, you did fine but you could fluff a little better. meaning ask questions such as "oh and how did that make you feel?" and run with that. talk about feelings... and empathize with them a little bit.... the whole "oh yea, i know how you feel... because one time (blah blah blah)". the type of questions you ask is important because it changes the whole conversation. don't accept one word answers and move on. save that for a different question.

you kept changing questions quite often, so get more in depth with it... and tell your own stories. you need to have your own opinion on every single thing, that's the best way to think of it. so when you asked "so do you guys travel a lot?" and they say "yea", dont ask where yet.... talk about how do they like the plane, or give a DHV story about yourself... or throw a playful neg and say "wow so you guys get around quite often don't you" *smile/laugh*.

the UG10 is obviously into you and you can bet they talked about who is going to try to get at you (THE UG!) so be careful and make sure you keep her in the friend zone. you might have shown too much interest in the HB so negs can change her whole opinion on you... you'll no longer look try hard and predictable... you'll be mysterious and alpha.

hope this helps...

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:29 pm 
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You're at a point where you need some good friends, right? So maybe
you should make them your new friends. It's always good to have an
HB8 as arm candy.

Plus, I get the feeling that once you get better at this... you'll look back
and be glad you didn't settle for the very first girl you met. You're new.
You need to build your circle of friends. And if anything does happen
between you and the HB8, let it happen naturally.

It's best when you are just being you and the girls chase you around.

My suggestion is work on building your circle of friends first, not your little black book.

I know you told them you were waiting for a friend... and that you don't
really get along with the friends you have, but there are ways around not
getting caught in that little white lie.

BTW, good job.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:28 pm 
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Instead of asking questions make SPAM and observations. You look like you travel alot. I bet you go to this university. Its not a question but it provokes a response that you can use to neg or possibly carry on conversation.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 10:43 am 
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Excellent work! I like the way you stuck with it, tossed in some good PUA material, didn't give up, etc. You're being way too hard on yourself, which is natural given your inexperience.

What became clear to me in reading your account of the evening is that both the girls wanted you. Like make out escalate fuck wanted. You gave them innumerable opportunities to blow you off and not only did they not blow you off, you easily number closed.

Dude, they are BORED, LONELY, and HORNY. Just isolate the target and build some rapport. She'll be all over you like Velcro in no time. Just carry some condoms.... :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:06 am 
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Good job man! The most important thing when you approach a set is not just to talk to them but to actually dare to approach them.
I told a girl just yesterday that I´m quite shy too ( cause she said so) but I also told her that if it had been for me, the two of us would have never spoke! Damn... Men like us are necessary ,girls are real chickens when it comesa to take the first step wouldn´t all of you agree on that one??

Peace from Stockholm, Sweden!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 5:03 am 
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Quote:
Instead of asking questions make SPAM and observations. You look like you travel alot. I bet you go to this university. Its not a question but it provokes a response that you can use to neg or possibly carry on conversation.
This is good stuff. Review the chapter Juggler wrote in "The Game." He talks about two types of conversation. One is by asking questions and the other is by making statements. He stresses the fact of statement conversations being what friends do with each other and you can make statements that get responses.


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