I'll start off with this, every friend I tell and even the majority of myself is screaming to screw this, but there is still some partial resistance. I'm surprised at myself for being this uncertain.

The situation:
We had an argument a few days ago about the smallest trivial thing and she turned it into a big deal which lead to her stating that she wanted to break up (this occurs quite often when she's mad). To further that, she threatens me that she's gonna sleep with a guy that's coming over to her place in order to make me feel miserable because that's the way she felt at that current moment.

That same night, she calls and I ignore it while she texts me to pick up in a joking matter. The thing is, she's done this to her ex before in order to, I suppose, hear her getting banged to make him pissed. Following that, a few hours later she calls and leaves voicemails non-stop, which I decided to ignore as well because I didn't want to hear her possibly get boned by another guy. The following day, her and her friend call and leave voicemails which I didn't listen to till the next day.

These voicemails contained apologies and she stated that she didn't cheat and hopes I forgive her, as well as her taking things for granted. She also had a family crisis so I decided to check up on her yesterday...in person.

Result:
Since she was sorry, I decided to give her one last chance. We made up for a bit but then it went downhill where I began expressing my opinion which, I admit, was quite critical. I am usually quite critical and she has told me that it bothers her, so I've tried to reduce it and haven't acted this way towards her until this incident. I told her I didn't appreciate her threatening me, especially with that threat of cheating. I also said that my act of ignoring her was justified because I didn't want to hear her getting possibly boned by another guy. The thing is, she believes that me ignoring her was immature (not being a man to deal with the calls or even a good boyfriend) and that for me to criticize her is wrong. To add to that, she says she started dating the guy yesterday because she didn't know I would come back, and since I did (sure I'll admit I did since I forgave her), she was planning on breaking up with him today.

There's past history with that guy even during when she was dating her ex. (just throwing that out there)

At the moment, she wants me to get her a gift by a certain time in order for her to forgive me and it isn't guaranteed that she will be home -- hence me being walked on. She also wants me to hang out with her later, but the uncertainty of 1) is she gonna bring the guy she's so called dating to rub it in my face or 2) has she gotten over the stupid thing she's mad at, makes me want to ignore this request as well. I could ask her why she's inviting me but she could lie about it which obviously shows that I can't even tell when she's telling the truth anymore.

I already gave it my all during the argument that started this whole fiasco in order to prevent the initial break up. Honestly, I don't plan on running around getting a gift and finding her in order to let her know that I'm fine with doing this. Yet at the same time, I can't fully let go because of a stupid feeling of guilt such as "If I only didn't criticize too harshly then......"

From people I've asked, I've been told to explain my point of view for the final time in order to have some sort of conclusion (worth doing?). In a way, I have a feeling this thread might be useless because I know that there will be a lot of "screw this you're being an idiot AFC", but we've gotten past more stupid and bigger (not always stupid) situations than this current one. It is quite ironic that I ignored her to break-up and to make it easier to move on, yet knowing that she could be apologizing with those calls/voicemails and recently made up with her. Yes, I do love this girl and I care about her. Would I want this work out? Yea i would. However, I don't believe that threats and being walked on is the ideal way of having my affection reciprocated. This shows she's still taking things for granted. Maybe I do need to see replies consisting of what I just put in quotes, but it would be nice to have some opinions in more detail anyway.

You're just scared that if you let this girl go you're not going to find another one.

Yeah you're being an "AFC". But so what? Everyone is to some extent.

More importantly, you are being STUPID. S-T-U-P-I-D!

A girl did that to me? I wouldn't even wait to find out whether she's fucking another guy. I would find a girl and do that to her, break up with her over the phone while I'm fucking another girl.

Break up with the bitch. You guys aren't married? how long you been dating?

It's not like you're going to marry her. And if you do end up doing that : I feel sorry for you.

The sooner you break up with this manipulative bitch, the sooner you can go out there and see what the world has to offer.

I gotta say that you need to break up with this chic or at least put her in her place.. she shouldnt be stepping on you like this... relationships are a two way street.. I am in the same place.. and I ended it, it was the best thing I could have done! PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA as they say.. and hell arent we here to be a pua and have at the ladies that scare off all the pussie boys!?

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Live Free:Die Hard

Dude, you were broken up for like a day or two and she was already dating another guy? Plus, she was saying that she would fuck some other guy to make you mad? She's obviously been talking to this chode for awhile, behind your back or not, she's already moving on, and using you to move on. She'll break up with you soon, and fuck this guy in the same day, I guarantee it. Break up, move on. She'll beg because she wants to break up with you, not the other way around.

Also, if she threatens to break up every single fight, she's already thinking about it. The relationship is not going to last.

Just forget it dude. This relationship is a lost cause, it's not going anywhere. Pce out, you'll be a lot happier.

Focus on yourself, you seem to have some issues that you need to address! (Inner Game)

Cut this fish loose there are other fish in the sea who won't have these problems around constantly. If it is like this now how do you think it is going to be in the future?

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

No matter what mistakes you made,what she does defines her as a person.Understand if you didn't invest in her,you would not want to be with this kind of person.
Threats,fights starting from small things...it's a war here.
If what we write here isn't motivational enough for you,don't worry.You can wait to be dumped,it's just a ego thing in the end.A lesson learned will come after anyway.
To heal such wounds in a relationship means to CHANGE her.And you ain't gonna do that.

+1 Poet.

Well first stop thinking about what you did wrong. Read your own posts again - what did you do wrong? Nothing. Quite possibly you could have spun your words a different way to cause a different reaction from her - take that possibility in mind and learn from it, but move forward from here.

Her behaviour is insecure and manipulative. The moment you stop calling her, she's coming back and apologising.

Make sure when you stop responding, the last thing you say is something that lets her know your opinion of her has dropped. That at least keeps you in a place of power, which will salvage what ever small chance there is to save this relationship. But believe it when you say it. Seriously be moving towards moving on after telling her this.

you gotta be willing to lose her to let her come back man.

Have you considered asking her "why you have to buy her a gift exactly" ?

You should tease her and say "More like you have to buy me a gift"

I find that using humor is quite helpful in situations like this, because it takes the tension off things.

Also, you can try making her see more value in you. Judging from how she is ready to leave you shows that she doesn't really see something especially special in you.

For me, I would make her jealous by having other girls around or putting my attention elsewhere (like on a goal I am seeking) instead of her.

I understand the risk of this. (possibly she might give up on you because she knows she can find someone better) but I think it is a risk you have to take.

I am actually in the same situation.

Hope my situation somewhat helped you as well. Let me know what you think.

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"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

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From reading the replies I'd like to start by saying if you're going to listen to anyone on her, I'd recommend Andronikos.

She's got to know that there are consequences for her actions. If her actions are negative towards the relationship (threats of cheating, demanding gifts) then the consequences should reflect that. Dont be petty, dont play games back. Be rational. Tell her that the things she is doing are wrong, she knows this otherwise she wouldnt have apologized to you. Tell her you need to clear your head. Dont let her get back with you in a bf/gf way when your hanging around. Thats not your goal. You want her to appreciate the ramifications that her threats have on your social-interactions. She's got to earn the ability to be all bf/gf around you, simply by not acting up.

To finish off I just wanna say that she sounds petty. My last LTR was the same. The little arguements need to be put in context. If this fails, leave her. Be single. My last LTR is still texting/calling/visiting and trying to get back with me 4 months after we broke up, and the irony is SHE left ME. Hold strong dude, and good luck.




GrifterUK

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- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed

- You make your own luck

DROP HER IMMEDIATELY.

If she is threating you with that, why on earth would you stay with her?
People like that do what they threaten, even if they deny it. She probably did bone that guy and lied about it. And the fact that she threatened you with such a thing says soooo much about her as a person.

Cut this trick, STAT homie.