Hey guys,

I sometimes pop in here from time to time to get a reality check.

I never really had any sort of routine or game persay, I go about things my way and seem to do pretty well for myself with girls. I'm almost 20 years old right now and have had about 15 sexual partners, with the longest lasting around 3 months.

My problem is I cant figure out how to make a pretty fuck buddy my girlfriend. I genuinely would like a relationship b/c of the intimacy it provides and b/c I'm generally a loving dude. The thing is I don't know how to do it!

How do I make a girl mine? How do I keep a pretty girl from fucking other guys and falling for me? I'm an attractive dude with a wild personality, but there are many guys like that! How do I make a girl with many options her number one option?

Could it be the hookup vibe I give off, which has been told to me in the past. What are some tips to get over the fucking buddy stage into the serious stage?

Thanks for any help,

LA

First, do you know why a fuck buddy is different from a girlfriend? If you know the difference, then you know what to do. You ACT like she's your girlfriend and do things with her other than have her come over to have sex. In the future if you want to avoid this, don't fuck at the first opportunity. My last girlfriend I brought home the second date. Lots of kino and a little foreplay, but I deliberately held back because I knew she was girlfriend material. Next date I told her to bring a change of clothes so she could spend the night and we'd do something the next day. That night I flat out asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend. Not very elaborate, but she committed, I took her down, and she gave me no reason not to trust her from then on. In retrospect, I even hurt our relationship because I pushed for sex all the time and took her out less and less (she was truly different than most women). She probably stopped feeling like a girlfriend and more like a fuck buddy toward the end, so be careful with that. The key is to do activities together with the intention of spending time with her, sex is not the goal, or that is all you'll get.

_________________
31 and still figuring it out.

Ok, here's one for you.

How do you make a fuck buddy your girlfriend.

IF:

you and her hang out about twice a week JUST to do coffee, catch up for movies, hug, kiss, kino, and generally have fun out and about without fucking. we fuck once or twice a week as well (generally after a day out together).

she leans on me like a partner would emotionally.

she's also first one to put her hand up to help out if I need help with anything (i.e. taking dad to hospital for tests when she had the day off and i didn't)

we go to bbq's/friends parties together. I've been to a few of her hobbies/activities with her, she's been with me for mine.

we wake up holding one another. lie there cuddling. stroke each others face/neck/back affectionately in public...

BUT we are still officially "fuck buddies"...

if anyone out there can figure it out, i will worship the ground they walk on.

_________________
If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

Uh... have you tried asking her to commit? How long have you been dating her like this? After a month, it's totally okay to just be like, "Should I keep seeing other women or should I start focusing on you and seeing where this goes? What do you think?" My last two girlfriends I did this in the first week because I'm nuts, that's just too soon.

_________________
31 and still figuring it out.

3 years.

and yes, i've asked for the committment. it's rejected.

But if i ever mention the other women in my life, she gets really hurt.

_________________
If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

ktime I totally understand where your coming from and am kinda baffled. I seem to get to that point with some girls and they still will not commit even though we act like bf/gf, doing the things you mentioned. I can't figure it out, but I'm positive its something I can change.

I also always want sex first, thats hows i operate but for me sex is only as good as the foreplay or affection that comes with it, if the girl is cool also then she can stick around with me! I'm not sure where my problem lies.

Sex first doesn't work for an enduring relationship. As you get older and had your fill of meaningless sex, you'll learn to value delayed gratification. Stringing a girl along sexually does wonders for getting her to buy, just like it works on AFC's.

3 years, ktime70? Your girl has commitment issues. How's her relationship with her daddy? There's no excuse to be fuck buddies that long if you want the whole package, most healthy girls are DYING to get out of fuck buddy status after a few months because they find it demeaning and a waste of time. Healthy girls will only be fuck buddies to get their foot in your door and convert you to a boyfriend. I'm assuming you're a worthwhile guy, so it's totally on her own baggage that she won't commit. Your goal at this point is to play the field, especially if it hurts her feelings. The idea is to get so far up her ass that she'll have to commit to keep you from other girls. Make yourself less available and blow her off for plans with other girls. You're in a prime position to make her jealous. You can only win from this strategy, either you'll meet a girl who's worthy of you and emotionally available, or your girl will be desperate to make herself entirely yours. I've talked with you on a few threads, I know you already know this is the right answer.

_________________
31 and still figuring it out.

sex first CAN work for an enduring relationship, it depends completely on the two people in question. a female friend of mine always states that "only people who don't sleep together before they are in a relationship last"... but the data doesn't say either way.

her relationship with her father. not good.

committment issues... dunno, she has committed before, usually to guys she KNOWS she doesn't see a future with (including several she couldn't even bring herself to sleep with).

worthwhile guy? i wouldn't say i'd rival mystery, but i have a fair share of women try to tie me down to a relationship. i only pick the ones there's a connection with.

but as for playing the field, that has been my approach for the last 6 months... A mutual friend of hers/mine and i have actually been competing with who can score the most lays lately, for the very reason that i know the info will get back to the F-buddy.

and for the record, she has only slept with one other person since being "with" me... that was 2 years ago... and she gets a few offers a week, so it's a CHOICE... so like i said, it's like a relationship, with the title refused.

_________________
If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

Well, FYI, my last girlfriend had daddy issues and said she was emotionally broken. I took her home on the second date, played with her, but deliberately didn't pull the trigger. For our next date I told her to pack overnight clothes, told her to be my girlfriend unless she has better options, and we had a grand little romance after that (might have ended because we were getting to attached and I was throwing the word love around). Waiting to have sex does work, at least try it out before shooting it down (though I understand it's to late for this particular girl).

This is probably too general to be true, but girls with daddy issues can easily be dominated and prefer a dominant partner. Tell her outright, you two have been dicking around for three years; it's time for her to be your girlfriend. Get a little mad about her dragging around for so long. It's a little gross maybe, but you have to be paternalistic and play loving and authoritative daddy a bit. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but you can at least try being super dominant and seeing how she reacts. Do not ask for her to be your girlfriend, demand it this time. Of course this won't stick unless you're willing to lose the whole enchilada.

_________________
31 and still figuring it out.

Point one. agree, it can work, but it's no more garenteed than sleeping together, and moving from there. it's another "calibrate" type event

second point. your right, and i'm naturally dominant (which could be why she's stuck around so long), but that is the one thing she WON'T back down on. going to try walking away in a couple of weeks all things going well (very long story, my dad's not well, and i'll keep her round long enough to find out the test results, because she cares)

_________________
If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...