In November I went through an ugly phase. I was without self-esteem, I was self loathing, self conscious, approval seeking and an AFC. Needless to say I got dumped and all the previous things mentioned caused me to do and say, embarrassing and idiotic things. I lost the first girl I ever loved, and I'm going to tell you why Inner Game is extremely important to your longterm happiness.

Last year I was very self-conscious when I took the time and effort to master outer game. I felt alot better about myself when I started hooking up with many girls (1st Mistake) and eventually decided I wanted an LTR and jumped in one with the next girl I took home (2nd Mistake). I never really took the time to learn inner game, or rather address my self esteem and confidence issues. Instead I placed my self-worth in the hands of a woman looking to her for approval and acceptance. The first 6 months of our relationship I pulled it off because of my aggressively motivated attitude about everything (I spent so much time in the gym I was constantly on work-out high and my body looked great) and I had a good job, So I didn't really need to look at my GF for validation/acceptance/ approval b/c I was temporarily happy due to the fact everything was going my way.

However as many of us have learned or will learn, Life doesn't always go your way, which is why you need to have inner-game mastered to endure the emotionally tough times. Needless to say I didn't. It started when I hurt my back working, and was unable to go to the gym for three months, losing two-years of hard work to have a sexy figure. So I got self conscious about my body, and began to seek approval from my GF as I became increasingly insecure. Then she broke up with me we ended up getting back together in a few days, but because of my lack of Inner game my confidence was severely shaken and I was even more insecure. So then a few weeks later I lost my job and my savings quickly dried up. So here I was without confidence, insecure, self-conscious, gaining wait, broke and feeling like a bum. What did I do? I turned to my GF for everything I made her emotionally support me and we lasted about another two months. I lost the first girl I've ever loved, because I wanted a quick fix to get laid more easily and find a gal, but when things didn't go my way I found out the hard way girls aren't too attracted to guys without self-esteem who are constantly seeking approval and validation. If I would have taken the time to learn to love myself I would have endured my hardships like a stone wall and this girl would be thinking 'wow this man really has character" instead of "wow this boy is really a bitch".

So gentlemen please, Learn from my mistake, Make sure a girl is an addition to your happiness not your happiness. The most important thing about PUA is not placing your self-worth in your ability to hook up with women, because you can use tricks and techniques to lay beautiful girls but when life throws you a curve ball, YOU WILL STRIKE OUT.

Is this helping anybody?

Many of us have heard this before, but it never hurts to have another pillar strengthening the belief that your attitude toward your self is really what counts. And once you make peace with your self (your soul, if you are spiritual like me), girls and sex and love are just part of some pretty nice icing on that cake. Thanks for sharing your experience, Dizzler!

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Live Your Truth.

I'm glad many people already know this then, it was actualy very helpful me just to write and post this b.c I was able to sort through some thoughts and emotions!

Dont worry, a lot of people dont know this and could benefit from reading it.

The problem is that newbies rarely read posts about inner game since that is the part they skip before they get it. Basically when they have progressed far enough to wanna change themselves they have already started.

Yeah I want those newbies to avoid my mistake because that's what I did and look what happened to me!

good shit.
seems more Inner Game = Outer Game.
I need to get my Inner Game straighter than a arrow.

What you said is said often, although most of the time I don't think it's articulated that well. This was definitely a good post. Thanks.

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Oh.

I'm glad it's getting the point across. Getting over that girl was so much harder knowing I'm going down in her book as a crazy guy she dated, just some loser she wasted time with. Which I know I'm not, but the reality of the matter is that's how she will remember me. It makes getting over it that much harder. I don't know how much you guys look into field reports and general questions but since I've begun addressing my inner game I've had a few interactions with some HB10s, I have f-closed any, but I've # closed and generated lots of interest. I haven't done any outergame, this is all soley the result of addressing inner game. '

Good Luck.

So what techniques/books have you guys used to get your inner game sorted?

It seems there are 100's of ideas/gurus/ebooks/videos out there on inner game.. Whcih are the good ones?

Cheers!

The truth is that all of them are good if you have no previous knowledge. You just have to start somewhere and work your way through them. The worst thing you can do is being afraid of new information. Do not limit yourself to one gurus teachings. Study it all and take the parts you like from the gurus you like.

David Deangelo's Mastery Series kicks fucking ass. It's expensive but there are less moral alternatives available to acquiring it.

David Deangelo's Mastery Series kicks fucking ass. It's expensive but there are less moral alternatives available to acquiring it.

I can relate to this on a number of levels.

I ask forgiveness if I offend in what I say in this post. I am not questioning whether or not love was involved, but for the sake of this post I assume real love was given from both parties. But there may be another side to this ...

What I noticed was that once your physical attractiveness began to wane, you lost your income and exhausted your resources, she bailed.

I think this is a fundamental lesson about women and life. We may want to idealize love and respect, but it is an act of futility. The fact is that people are selfish and form relationships to improve their own lives. Once you are unable to improve their life any longer, they will have no use for you. Women tend to seek material resources on a subconscious level and emotional support/reinforcement on a conscious level.

With this in mind, I have come to my own conclusions. If I want something, I had better get it myself. Once I have it, others will want it as well. Some will try to steal it; these types are useful as pawns. Many simple want to be around it; these types have potential as acquaintances and lovers. Others have it as well; these are the types I use to gauge my own success and compete with. I suppose my ideal lover/soulmate etc would have to be an exception to these rules.

I have also found something that may add some hope for the future for you. If you realize that love is within yourself and not dependent on another person(woman) something special happens. The next woman you love will add to that. You will love her more passionately then the last. You will enjoy her smell that much more. You will appreciate at that moment, you are happy. The loves you have had are not lost, they are your foundation. Build upon it and it will become something marvelous. Keep tearing it down and starting over and you will always be residing in a shack ...

Byron