gf showing another guy ioi's



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:15 am 
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im no pua, but in my opinion:

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, while giving her the msg that other girls are availiable for me around, while showing some general care that you care. Incase she thinks that you don't care and thus flirt with more guys behind your back or w.e, right?

also when you show that you care, im sure they'd like the attention,just don't make a big deal out of it....

Agreed my fellow senior comrades?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:21 pm 
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Your a blessing. A godsend. Dare I say a HERO? We need more people like you in this section :)
Sure, I don't mind being called a Hero haha. Talk about giving me a confidence boost. Much appreciated!


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:48 pm 
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I agree that this whole ioi conversation is starting to sound real AFC to me... Honestly I think some of you are using the word "Respect" because you don't want to call it "Jealousy".... That's exactly what your feeling so start to recognize that feeling and learn to tame it...

I guess I don't understand it as much because I've never been the "jealous" type (always been C/F and quite confident), but as a guy we ALL have a chemical called testosterone that tends to exaggerate anything sex related and I've seen WAY TOO MANY Alpha's try and Bully their girls into conforming some way or other (ie you shouldn't flirt with anyone and if I catch you then we will have to talk about it for hours - or I will leave you at the party) its got AFC written all over it....

Get your confidence where it needs to be and you won't worry about every hair twirl or elbow touch that comes your way...

Choose to believe it or not but if you call out ANY flirting to your girl then you have almost instantly created a "our world" scenario for the guy she was talking to... Next time they talk she will be saying stuff like "he's jealous so I have to watch how much we talk, blah blah" ....


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:39 pm 
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If shes not 100% into you and you alone--why not just walk away and be done with it


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 5:49 pm 
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When you have a gf you have to treat IOI's like a burn....theres three degrees of IOI's

first degree - Like a first degree burn they can be irritating but their not in any way harmful to your relationship and they can be left alone....there is no threat at all. examples - laughing at jokes, smiliing, casual conversation, slight touching or tap on shoulder ect ect....often women use this as a shit test and actually have no intention of hooking up with the guy they just want to see if they can get a rise out of you?

second degree - Second degree IOI's are somthing you should keep an eye on! they are usually a sign that she has a thing for the guy she is talking to (finds him atractive and would like to see If he is into her?) these are things that you are justified in being bothered about! touching or rubbing, inappropriate conversations (telling him hes good looking), basicaly anything that would be justifiably inappropriate....its just common sens.

Third degree - This is the worst of the worst...its cheating and is a sign that you need to drop her fast! examples - sitting on lap, grinding or dancing with the guy, kissing.

This isint by any mean a perfect system but its an easy way to break it down for you...anything first degree dont say shit! you have no right to....anything second degree you are aloud to say somthing, and anything third degree you should drop her ass and move on....simple enouph?
This is well put! I've dealt with what you would say 2nd degree (touching/rubbing another guy), and I spoke to my gf about it and she listened to me and apologized.
She hasnt done anything like that since, even though she comes off as flirty in general.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:23 pm 
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I've read this whole thread. I realize this is about IOIs from a girl with another guy. However I'd like to comment on the whole bf/gf thing. I think there is some confusion between the concepts of (i) intimate long term relationship and (ii) PUA lifestyle. If your "girl" is doing this, you've made the WRONG selection in long term girl. If your out with a girl on a first/second date who's doing this; FAIR GAME -- you do it too! Let's also be clear in the timing of all this; by this I mean if you're DATING a girl you have LTR possibilities with and still finding out about her (experts say it takes about 6 months for the REAL person to emerge in a typical LTR), then definitely discuss this (LATER -- next day in relaxed SPAM for example with just the two of you) and tell her your thoughts/feelings. This is why I'd recommend while DATING a girl you also date a few others at least "Get Me By" type of girls. This allows you the proper attitude to walk away from the "girl" if she continues to display behavior that is not LTR. Believe (I'm talking from EXPERIENCE here) me, you DO NOT want to stay with a HB who is manipulative and playing games like IOIs with other men at the bar. This is just a recipe for long term disaster (like divorce with kids involved) later. Ouch!

Summary: understand what you want in the girl (SNL or LTR or mLTR) and where you are in the development of the LTR. Then adjust your behavior to what your goal with the girl is.

Regarding IOIs with a girl who's "with a bf at a club": also make sure it's not just their first/second date. To me she's still kind of fair game unless -- IMO -- she's with someone you know. I NEVER mess with a buddy's or wingman's girl.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 2:50 pm 
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my point of view

your insecurities: you don't trust her giving IOIs to other guys.... in other words you don't trust her around other guys ----- > meaning you don't trust her enough.

bad thinking patterns : i can understand that it is bugging you BUT do realize if you don't trust her around men with simple things YOU can't trust her at all, there will always be men around her on her work or when she goes out.
inner game issues cause your afraid she will cheat or hurt your feelings ! stop thinking primitive! .

self reflection, mirroring: don't you give IOIs to other woman without realizing it ? you probably looked to another girls ass while your GF is walking next to you. Even if she's trying to make you jealous she is quitte ignorant... she's doing that out of her own insecurities - and that is not how you treat someone you love '' like hobbit said''

you can't : i have to tell you .. if she cheats or flirts with other men because she wants extra options she will do it without you being in her presence. Everyone can cheat whenever they want to and you can't control that.


- don't fear the ones who tell you what they are up to
- id rather fear the ones that don't tell you anything because they know what they're doing

it's all inner game : 70 % of the times people are posting in the relationship section because they are insecure and sabotaging their own relationships. out of a lack of confidence people seek confirmation or advice from other people.

if she give huge IOIs to another guy i wouldn't make her jealous by doing the same - if she's giving massive IOIs to another guy then she isn't worth it , it's not how you treat the ones you love. however making her jealous will have a certain desired effect but DO realise your lowering yourself to her level.

the only IOIs i worry about is her dating someone else, grabbing ass, kissing etc - if you like to kiss other guys you shouldn't be in a relationship with me because i am loyal to the ones who i love ! as long i stick to my neat values i will meet someone who will have the same values.

it's karma .. you get what you deserve. my english grammer isn't the best hopefully it's readible

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:21 pm 
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Well put Hobbit, Dark One, and LodeWig .... I'm new to posting but I have spent months absorbing posts from you guys ..... Thanks again


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