Okay, I met this girl 2 days ago, and we had a great conversation, talked for maybe 20 minutes when I number closed her. She was really into me, but as I am new to the PUA game I had no idea how to handle the situation AFTER the number close. Below is a play-by-play of the texting conversation that completely ruined my hard work. Please analyze and provide tips on what to do next time.

By the way, I texted this girl the day after meeting her. (I realize now that I should have waited one more day, correct?)

The Conversation:

Me: Whoah I just got really bored all of a sudden! Send me a story about your day that will make me excited...or just less bored :-) thanks.

Her: Haha you're such a dork. Well I'll tell you about my night. My car broke down in the middle of the night in boston and I was stuck at that kids house. not fun.
for clarification, the kid she refers to is the person she was waiting for when we had our first conversation in person

Me: Holy crap that sounds terrible! Sounds like you need cheering up. you should watch some ninja turtles and eat ice cream. And buy me ice cream too...

Her: Haha Wtf? buy you ice cream...What do you think i am?

Me: Aren't you an ice cream delivery girl?...
this was meant to be a joke...but I think this is where things got out of hand

Her: Uhm no... How many random girls do you try to pick up at the mall?

Me: Haha I am just joking! Way to get jealous though drama queen! So did you enjoy the cold rain today?

Her: Haha not jealous...More insulted. And the rain sucks when you gotta walk everywhere after your car breaks down.

Me: dang you are just a little dark cloud yourself today aren't you? What can i do to cheer you up?

Her: I am fine thank you.

Me: :-p fine that was a one time offer though you should have taken it. Oh well...

Her: You're so weird.

Me: :-) Haha i can tell you're trouble... i kinda like that tho

Her: and creepy...lol

Me: Haha alright now you have just gotten rude...bye!

Her: Drama queen.

Me: Haha we are already fighting like a frickin married couple. We definitely wouldn't get along...
(I was very disappointed by how this went over, because it's not something I would usually say, I have heard PUAs reference something similar in the past and decided to try it as a neg)

Her: That's awkward that you even brought that up.

Me: Haha wow weird, creepy, and awkward...im a triple threat huh? Are you always this rude to guys you are attracted to?
(At this point, I basically figured I would just say anything to keep the convo going, though I knew it was doomed.)

Her: Haha so can i add conceited to the list?

Me: Yeah only if i can add obnoxious to yours :-). I am watching atonement right now with some friends and it's really depressing, have you seen it?
(desperate attempt at a convo change, and trying to DHV by showing I am confident enough to admit to watching atonement).

Her: Never heard of it.

Me: Are you serious? Its a total chick flick kiera knightley is in it. You don't get out much huh?

Her: I'm at a party and you're watching a chick flick... Yet i don't get out much?

Me: Hmm you're at a party and you're texting me? You must really like me...its cool i think you are pretty cute as well...

Her: Haha fuck you kid.

Me: Ooh ouch. Lighten up kiddo i am just jokin with ya :-). I do enjoy bringing out your feisty side though...

Her: I like you better in person.

Me:Yeah I agree.. I guess we should meet up before we start hating each other. You obviously cant stand being apart from me and I dont care much for it either...

Her: Idk i might hate you so much via text that I won't wanna meet up with you.

Me: Fair enough. Let me know if you change your mind. Later, Becky ;-).

End of conversation.

I know that was a long convo, but any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. I have only known about the PUA world for the past two weeks, so I am a total newbie ready and willing to learn as much as humanly possible.

wow. you should win an award for that one.

1. NEVER say that you are bored. Boring people are bored.
2. You should be the thing to cheer her up.
3. Your negs aren't coming out right - they sound like straight up insults...
and there are a lot of them in there.

She was basically done after you called her a drama queen. Try to work on
balancing your negs and make them sound like negs instead of insults. That will make you seem flirty instead of weird. Also, try not to tack on second thoughts to a message - you seem to stuff your textgame-ruining comments there.

There wasn't enough transition. Everything seemed too "step-after-step." And remember, negs should only be used on HB9-10 or when she starts giving you a bratty attitude. Try to up the humor too, less cocky.

Not necessarily true, it all depends on the level of investment you got outta her. If it was a very poor number close, i.e. you spent less than ten minutes with her, then you need to get in contact with her sooner. If you had more investment such as a kiss-close then you probably could wait a few days. Calibrate it.

Noo, never open like this. Bored - translates to her as you have nothing better to do. You're obviously not that fun exciting person she met at the mall.

The translates to, 'please be my entertaining monkey. Entertain me.'

I always open with something normal, maybe with a DHV spike and end with a question. 'Hey so how are you?'

OK so despite your woefully poor opener she replied. If you are socially clued up she will expect you to reply with something normal back.


Anyway I don't have time to shoot through the rest of your text messages. But the gist of it is that she is probably thinking 'what is this guy on? Crack cocaine?'

This is a classic case of a PUA trying to be a PUA at every FUCKING instant. There was no fluidity with that text convo. EVERYTHING from you sounded like a line.

Where the hell was the fluff? When you negged her you realized things were turning bad yet you still carried on. You baited her, she baited you and you jumped through her hoop. Now she associates insults with you. Not good.

I'm not saying it's wrong to bust on her. In fact it's good. BUT you can only BUST on her after she's invested and she has known you for a good time. Because there is NO INVESTMENT on her part, if you bust on her and she doesn't like it all she has to do is FREEZE YOU OUT.


You have totally lost your frame with this one. She is the one CALLING the shots. You've relinquished all power and you've organised a meet up on a downer. Never organise a meet up like this.

CONCLUSIONs

All I can say is - understand the dating game is volatile.

This COULD have turned out so much better.

Everything is feedback so don't give up. Take this interaction as feedback, a learning expedient.

FUCK IT, let's throw in a motivational cliche.

"Failure isn't an issue, it's not getting up that is."

Keep going.

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lol wow we have opposite problems
im still working on my sarging game, still trying to get over anxiety issues lol.
however i'm sort of a natural when it comes to the texting, phone conversations, messaging, and day 2's probably because it's a lot less intimidating and when i'm myself, i am a natural

in all honesty, you have to remember it's a different game plan. I've always viewed negging as a way to get someone's attention who you might have otherwise not gotten. i like substituting negging for push/pull comments and playful banter when dealing with post-pick up communication because 1. you already have her attention and 2. she already likes you. she might (and by your script, already has) take your negs the wrong way and they will backfire. That's pretty much all that got you were your negs and the random marriage bit in the middle of the conversation (never bring up marriage in a conversation with someone you recently met). Just substitute your negs for light teasing, she will appreciate it.

i think you were too incongruent. she said she liked you in person but hates you in text. you were very much a ball of negativity in text and probably should work on letting your text-persona (right now too cocky and insulting) match your in-person-persona (which she obviously liked cause u # closed) more closely. ive seen this before in guys and girls, where they're cool in person but in text or messenger they consistently say stuff that makes you think "are they drunk?" and that comes off as creepy. which the girl in your report actually said.

but thats just my 2 cents.

also, when she said "do you pick up a lot of girls at the mall?" i would have probably softened up a bit there and said something like "actually no, you just seemed interesting and i decided to say hi" that could have saved it for you. what do you guys think?

Negs are something that are to be thrown so you can confuse your target into thinking that you arent interested in her. Since you got her number, she knows your interested so by negging her (which you did WAY too much of) its just coming off as insults. And negs should not be thrown out at every chance you get to speak, but rather are to come in subtle forms that make her laugh at herself. And if you are talking to someone whether they be your target or a friend, and you find out they had a bad day, the last thing you want to do is neg or insult them to make them feel worse. she was probably in a pissy mood b4 you even txted her. So instead of trying to come off as cocky, try reading the situation, and respond appropriatly. In this case, you should have comforted her about her problems, rather than calling her a "dark cloud"...etc.

that was just horrible and down right stupid i must say. i mean i have to agree with the earlier posts about you sounding insulting and a bunch of other stuff. and dont ever tell a girl your boredd! you also seemed way to try hard- you kept saying that she was into you and all this other junk, i understand cocky funny your suppose to say some stuff like that- but not every 2 seconds.

GoodLuck,

F|y

_________________
"How old are you?... Old enough to party "

haha okay dude's obviously I know the convo was stupid that's why I posted it. However, just as an update that girl totally texted me out of the blue a couple days back...I think we will be hanging out soon.

Interesting...

This is fine. Yeah saying your bored doesn't really give them much to go off of but it isn't like you ruined it by saying that. You got a good response from her. So don't worry about it.
I can see where you are going with this...you were trying to be playful, but her response is predictable. I think you jumped the gun too soon here and asked her to buy you icecream...makes it seem like you are full of yourself---in a fake confidence kind of way.
Yeah I think that was just a bad response...sounds like you were trying to neg her but that just made no sense at all. (Insult 1)
Insult 2
Kind of an insult...I'll say you are at 2 1/2
getting too cocky...i sense the false confidence again
She just called you weird but you some how think that was an invitation to continue hitting on her
Why are you laughing at all of her clear insults to you?
More laughing at her insults?
More laughing?? But one of the better things you said in this convo
Insult 3. You can't call someone obnoxious but put a smilie face there and have them take it as a joke. Calling someone obnoxious is always an insult. And just a minor thing, I don't really think it shows confidence in a guy to admit he is watching Atonement.
Not necessarily an insult, but it is trying to knock her down...but she is already pissed off at you so this will just piss her off more.
This text is good...but would be a lot better if it wasn't sandwiched in with a bunch of other insulting texts.
calling her "kiddo" after she just did show that you are reacting. Her text obviously got to you and it shook your confidence.
You know there might have been another shot here, but I think you jumped the gun too quickly; you suggested meeting up again when she was clearly not in a state where she was open to the idea. She gave you that opening, and weren't confident enough to sit back and let her come to you...you had to pounce and see if she would accept your invitation to hang out right away.

You are still interested in hanging out with this girl after she called you weird, creepy, and conceited? Once again, sounds like a confidence issue. You shouldn't put up with that.



My overall advice is to stop having complete convos via text message and stop trying to be overly witty and neg through texts. I see it all the time and people don't realize that they are never as funny in text as they are in person. Things get misinterpreted all the time because there is no tone and inflection accompanying the message. Smiles and winks don't convey the message and too many of them just start to get tacky. If you just number closed a girl and must text, keep it simple. Don't have text convos before you meet with someone several times...that way they get to know you and then they will know how to interpret your texts. And for goodness sake stop with the negs. You don't have to neg every women. And many guys don't know how to neg properly so they come out as insults. [/b][/quote]

I think that your doing 3 things wrong:

Firstly: You have to be careful with neging with texts as you can never convey your attitude and it's easy for them to get things wrong.

Secondly: she responded badly to the first few negs, but you continued to keep throwing them. If you get a bad response, I would have said something to get her happy again, then maybe come back through with a neg.

Thirdly: depending on how much this girl means to you, you may have ended it very poorly. It was a downward spiral and if you wanted a good chance of seeing her again I probably in this instance, would have just played yourself down a bit. Say some nice things to get her happy again. Know when to hold them - know when to fold them.

There is a much better way and easy explanation to solve all this!

The messages you sent her, did you view them in the way of "lines" that you had to throw out to impress her? A better way of looking at it would be to perceive those lines as "gambits", remarks and little games you could play around and have fun with her!

Most of the lines that you said were fine singularly, but you used them without calibrating and used them out of the context for what they were intended!

You don't have to start overtly analysing line by line and concluding to "not do negs", "make her happy" .. etc.. There's no rule on NOT being allowed to disqualify or neg her.

I've been in your position before, and feeling like I had to turn up the cocky shit and lines, and going overboard and coming off unnatural, even after the girl was already interested in me... because it's in the interest of 'pickup'. Maybe next time you would do much better to assess the situation you are in and calibrate according to the girl's responses!

You could have fluffed it and arranged a meet up, as she seamed interested in you already. I've been in your situation before, I know how it hurts brother

Btw, I know that I am new to this forum and have no "reputation" points, and therefore my own post's credibility is not so high.. but I have been in your exact position before, and understand where you are coming from ...

Hey friend,

Despite of you could have done this tremendously better, of which I think you could accomplisch very soon. You did your homework on learning the neglines good, but not when and how to deliver them.

When i just started I would neg girls all the time and I got blown off constantly. I am not a fun of textmessaging that much and i usually say this to a girl, because i am very awfull on this part..
I think you did great, despite of the reaction you were getting, because you know learned..

1 You should not neg to much and especially not if you allready number closed. You should not lower her value again but make her feel happy about yourself and you should storytelling or something... I know this is very cheesy and I usually not tell a lot people.. I am feeling very magical since I met you and I think we should play chess at my place. You bringin the candles oke darlinn...

So you now set a boundary, you now know you shouldnt neg to much. You should now bring in Mr comfort.. So learn some comfort buildin routine and try to be as much comfortable as pssible...

cherioo

There are a lot of good replies, but the bottom line is that you were not yourself. You obviously changed when you got to text messaging, and it wasn't just that you were negging widly, you definetly sound like you were insecure about it all, it comes through in the overall tone, and the need to "pay out" constantly.

Sounds like you may be lucky with this one though - just act like that situation never happened, be the same YOU in the text messages as in real life, and eventually this will become a long forgotten (if odd) memory - she may put it down to a bad day for you.

David Wygant will tell you all about this. You got to see how she's feeling and go with that. You can't just say random arbitrary things that throw her out of what she was thinking.