Ok, so I have been seperated since Feburary, I have had the time of my life enjoying all tyopes of females over the last two months. I have come to realize I actually Love my wife. *waits for the flames to sbuside* Her point is that I am a Narssastic, Selfcentered, Egotistical asshole....Which is All true.... No I'm not AFCing I just realized alot of shit I wasn't doing right in the relationship, and realized that a total dime piece my wife is. We are meeting for Coffee Friday....I need any and all advice, best material, DHV stories ect relating on how to reestablish repport. I already have the door open, just need not to fuck up my one chance.

I am not an expert on marriages, but I do not think you should be in the mindset of "picking up" your separated wife. If you really love her, i think this is an important time to share your true feelings for her and how you have changed. Think about why you decided to go back to her. I don't know your details, but tell her how your time apart has made you realize that you made a terrible mistake and that you only love her. My best advice is to not go about this in a PUA mindset. Good luck!

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I think Risen is right on the money here. I've been in a very similar situation myself the past week and I can tell you for sure that doing all the usual PUA stuff (i.e. not paying attention to her, being unavailable, etc) is the complete opposite of what you want to do here.

Tell her how much you love her, and be sincere about it. If you're married then honesty is key. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge where your faults are, then start fixing them. Tell her at coffee that's what you're doing and she will respect that.

That's not to say that you go all AFC on her and call her tons of times or cry and beg for her back. Be a man about it, but be deliberate about telling her your feelings and fixing your problems.

Best of luck man.

I agree - as a woman, her primal desire right now is to feel like you will give her security and love. Then she will trust you.

If you were going to focus on any PUA stuff, it would be the comfort phase.

Thanks a lot guys....Yeah I realized how bad I screwed up and what needs to change. I figured out it was me and my lack of emotions, sincerity, friendship, and caring that "made" my wife angry at me all the time. for anyone else who is going through the same thing. I found an apology routine. It is a routine in a way because it's a four step apology process. The routine is called the Clean Slate Method Basically goes like this.

1. Acknowledge (their feelings)
2. The Why? (your feeling or behavior that was responsible for the rift)
3. You are affected too. (by what you did, not them)
4. Apologize without defense.

The material is trademarked but this was available free on the web, but if you look up the Clean Slate Method you can buy the pdf for next to nothing. It was well worth it.

If anyone can think of anything else I am open to suggestion....Wish me luck

Yes you're right! I spent so much of my life confused at why girls suddenly found problems where there used to be none, why they'd start picking out things I did as if I needed help, really annoying things - I'd approach it logically, justify why my perspective was okay, and it would just get worse. Little did I know that these annoying things were just symptoms of the girl not feeling secure with me!

Thanks for the apology tips - I think the acknowledgement is the most important and hardest part, because you really have to understand why they're feeling the way they do, and then let them know you really understand... only then will they start being reasonable. Otherwise they will hear NOTHING you say.