I used to not talk very much with girls, and I find it difficult to strike up a conversation over 3 minutes with them.

Hey all guys, what are your common topics with girls?

You will get so much advice on this, but heres the advice that worked for me.

First off, talk to people more often. Its really easy, very few people will be cold to you. I started off talking to people behind the cash register when I was in contact to them, they have to be friendly, its part of their job. this eases anxiety i think.
After a while talking to girls wont be such a problem.

As for common topics, i dont think there really truely are any. You will talk to your female relatives about different things than you will your female friends and different again when your talking to a stranger.
I dont know who said it but "Talk about things you have in common with a girl. And if you dont know anything about her, then you have a lot to ask her about"
Good luck

easy.

just say whatever you are thinking.

before i used to have a bunch of thoughts in my head, but would not say anything. but now, if it comes to my head i will say it.

ex. talking to a girl and there is silence... look at her, notice a piece of clothing that reminds you of something else...'when i was on vacation last year to XXX i saw a lot of different people wearing similar xxx...."
by doing properly you can DHV spike aswell as keep the convo interesting for both of you

_________________
Even the wise man dwells in the fool's paradise.

when u start talking to girls and they give u answers, make sure u are actually listening because within what they are saying they are giving u more topics to converse about. such if u ask her what her favorite movie is and she says "blah" u ask her why "blah is her favorite movie" she might say she likes "just like the action in the movie" so u ask her if she is a big action genre movie fan. she might say yes or no. if she says yes you would ask her what other movies she likes in the genre. if she would have said no u could ask her what other genres she likes etc...you are asking basic questions and she is doing all the talking once she is done she will probably ask u about what u like. that could be a 10 minute conversation just about movies.

Get them going then leading questions like; "how did that happen?" "so when (reference to something in her talk) what did you do ?"

or just comment to show you're paying attention "that's so cool, I wish my dad could do that"- whatever.


And pay a little attention to what they say.
If you retreat into your head and go "I wonder how much more she will talk before she's ready for kino-escalation, and I can get closer to the puss." that won't cut it.


This is shit I used to do when I was 3(, or so I've been told.)
When a girl talked I basically just said "yeah." "mhm" etc. and let her go on and on. they usually just drone on, and then they love you for letting them talk about everybody's favorite subject, Themselves.


However, if you notice the energy level dip a little (vibes, whatever you call them) then lead them gently into another direction by backtracking a little or trailing off into another subject... Pick any subject, as the conversation will usually carry itself regardless of the initial subject.

To spike some attraction you can always bust her balls a little (girls aren't supposed to have them, so it's OK to bust them once in a while)
Like "Oh, man, you like X-movie... that one was so bad, I had to leave half-way through and go buy a dog to take my mind of how bad that movie was.. Hey, quick question, Dogs or Cats ?"... then "why?".

If she goes with either get her to explain what it is about that animal she likes, and if she doesn't like animals take her to a Pet-shop and have her pick out the favorite animal in there.
You can later use that as an inside joke or refer to it in other ways. E.g. by calling her your little Piranha if she digs those. draw lines between her and the animal she picks.

Like dogs are faithful and cats are self reliant. Stuff like that.


Cheers

This is one of those things that will only become easier with practice. There are a ton of stories out there (including in "the game") about people that decide they are going to talk to x amount of people per day.

This doesn't have to be just girls. Talk to everyone you see. Start with the weather and move from there. The more confident, the more outrageous the conversation topic. Those are the ones that will really make an impression (hopefully good)

You want the person walking away thinking "wow, he was really interesting"

You know how people always give bad advice such as "Just listen to what the woman has to say" etc.

Well Style had a Fishing Line theory in which there are little hooks in every sentance a woman says.

E.g.
YOU: So how do you all know each other?
HER: We are friends from high school/She's my brother's wife/I know her from back home in London

It may not be a great example but the little hooks to pick on are

-'High School'..."What high school?" OR "I have a friend that i met today from high school, its so weird"

-'Brothers Wife'..."I think its cool that your coming out even though your married, people sometimes think just because your married you cant go out and have fun"

-'Back home in London'..."Where abouts in London" OR "Im from x place" OR "I've visited London" OR "Whats it like" you can probably tease her about it aswell by saying how she's all posh etc.

I know those were not the greatest examples but it helped me talk without using as much canned material, because to be honest its what you sub-communicate to a woman which is important. What you're saying doesnt have to be so important.

Or just talk about what you've done in the last couple of days that has been funny, exciting, scary, annoying etc. Send her through a range of emotions. Hope this helps a bit

Cuff

I agree with .Cufflink. I use hooks in conversation all the time and the best part is after a little while you begin to use them naturally, it's a really great tool in conversation. Just try it out with some friends first and after you get the hang of it go out and try it for real

Hey buddy, your words don't matter! thats the best thing about being a natural, once you have the good body language and attitude, you can have the most retarded conversation and your chemistry will be high, and she will want you... Get the mindset that what you say doesn't matter man. Get her talking about herself, become very interested, and curious. This come through your eyes.

We don't do that DHV shit in natural game, please respect this section, and if DHV,negging, any of that stuff is in other parts of this forum. We call it the robots section.
[/quote]

Haha, I remembered that I talked with girl about how I'm a granny fetish and I want to fck her granny Like wtf? But I did it with such an "don't give a shit" attidude that she was laughting and amused by it...to thinking I'm a pervert or a psycho

Start to practice with everyone (guys, girls, targets, etc.). The more you talk to people, the more you'll be able to continue conversations passed opening. Don't just try to make conversations last longer with targets. You'll appear to be try hard and it won't feel natural. They'll pick up on that.

Start small. Literally. Whenever you're out n about n see lil kids. Wave and smile at them. I know, this seems odd at first, but there is a point to this. Some will wave back, some will smile, cry, laugh at you, run to the nearest parent/guardian, or whatever. The point here is that kids are GREAT judges of character. When you find that more kids are waving at you, smiling at you and you are smiling back this does a few things. 1) It lets women (even the mom) see that you can EMOTE or show emotion. 2) Shows that you are "Future Man" material (becoz you apparently like kids!) 3) Eventually gets you to the point where you're talking to more women because you will see kids that are smart, witty, intelligent, etc., and will want to communicate that to the parent/s. 4) You WILL be more sociable becoz you will then be able to wave and smile at ANYONE. The smile you will get from the kids will just automatically pour over onto others making you more attractive. 5) You become more comfortable in family settings. Who knows maybe mom or dad has an unhappy sister or cousin or other family member they think you will get along with becoz you're "kid friendly" or "not repulsed by kids" at the very least. 6) Kids know how to "play and just be in the moment" you will get back n touch with that part of yourself in the process too!
Im lucky, I am a security officer in a spanish grocery store!
Just imagine ALL the fine women I see almost everyday with and without kids. Kids love me and women love that I love kids!! It really is a natural aphrodisiac!

_________________
BE The Game!

This thread is full of good advice. Talking to more people, and looking for hooks is essentially the basis in my opinion.

Like, if I wanted to mimic a natural, those are the techniques I would use.

However, beyond getting me familiar with the method's, i'd still be consciously trying, and operating on a method level.

What i've found natural's do, is operate on the meta level. That's why naturals can break all the "rules" and still come out on top. They use the same techniques, but see the big picture as well so don't need to stick to them.

It's like playing guitar. You could grab a newbie, teach him to play a certain set of notes in a certain order, and it'd sound fine. But a real pro knows his theory, and see's the big picture, so he can break all the "rules" but still make the song sound beautiful.

If the newbie misses a note (screws up a line, misses a hook), it's obvious (blown out). But the pro operating on the meta level doesn't even blink, he knows exactly how to improv and make the song possibly even better than before. The audience doesn't even notice.

In regards to conversation. You need to enter the meta level.

You essentially need one thing - Indifference. This is where the "just talk to more people" comes into play. Say your not very indifferent to start with, you'll probably feel quite judged and/or pretty dependent on the outcome. You'll have this hesitation.

The more you talk to people, the more indifferent you'll get to the outcome. and eventually you'll cross that "indifference threshold" where you really just don't care any more. Whatever happens you can just laugh.

It's sort of like being at a new job, the first week you might be a bit nervous/hesitant performing certain tasks - however after a week or two you know how everything runs - you can see the meta level and you just don't even think about it.

Your indifferent.

The art of crossing that indifference threshold quickly to the point where your pretty much always "on" is how you become a natural. Everything I can think of sorts itself out from there.

Basic knowledge of value + indifference = natural.

Infact you don't even need to know about value. But it'd certainly be the second thing i'd recommend reading about.

Become indifferent by taking up space & being loud. Jump, shout, sing, whatever. Notice natural's will always play little games that involve them taking up space & being loud. They subconsciously know it'll put them/keep them "on".

Wolfus

I think the PUAs above have nailed this but to give you my input:

I have an 18 yr old brother who is shy, I take him out regularly and coach him on talking to people and holding a conversation. I give him all different topics to talk about and the obvious 'don't ask interview or 1 word answer questions'

So, it just wasn't working on the nights out, so I took him into day game instead. I got him started by just saying hi to old people on the street, then built him up to holding a conversation with shop assistants etc. Last night I took him out and he was talking to a 4 set on some random topic, but, he was in that set for almost 10 mins - they were all locked in.

It's just practise, the more you talk to people, the more confident you will get.

I would reccommend reading a couple of books on 'how to talk to anyone' etc - they really helped me out a couple fo years ago on making a strong connection and getting people to hook.

Enjoy,