| Some girls just like to be led. They like guys to plan the dates and make the decisions. If you have encountered a girl like that, chances are she isn't a very independent, spontaneous girl and is probably more rational than emotional. You could tell her to invite you out more often, clear communication is so key and most people don't realize that if you just say how you truly feel, you usually get what you want.
But this goes back to the age old problem....you want them to WANT to ask you to do something. Women have struggled with this forever; a woman wants her husband to do the dishes and after much debating he reluctantly gives in, at which point the woman says "no, nevermind, i'll just do them myself now!" Then the guy is all confused because he was going to wash the dishes, what is she so upset about? She wanted him to want to pitch in and do the dishes, just like you want her to ask you out.
First step is communication, like you proposed. If you don't make your thoughts and feelings known, you can't expect others to pick up on them. But if you truly want long lasting results, you need to change her attitude toward asking you out. Lead by example. Encourage her to be more spontaneous by being spontatneous yourself and when she does act spontaneous or asks you out, reward her with affection or some kind of verbal reinforcement. Don't punish behavior such as not asking you out, but be especially rewarding to desired behavior.
An example of verbally reinforcing her positive behaviors would be saying, "you are incredibly sexy when you are spontaneous and let loose." Of course she is going to want you to keep thinking that she is incredibly sexy, so she is going to act accordingly.
|