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basically, how do you keep on getting her to want sex?
I feel like if I have to engage sex, then it lowers my value and she'll want to have sex even less, but if I don't engage it, then I am allowing myself to become a non-sexual person (or at least less sexual that I was), and she will become turned off because I am not as alpha
K, I understand the mentality behind this because I'm not long past it myself. The error in the logic here is that by being timit about engaging in sex, then you are showing that you aren't this sexually dominant person that excites her. You need to establish your dominance and stature sexually in order for her to take notice and accept it.
Don't think that just because you're in a relationship with a girl that you can't still keep the sexy running freely. I'm not saying that you go out and start making out with other girls or anything because from the way you're stating things it sounds like you're in a monogomous relationship, which is cool, I'm happy for you and more than a little envious!
Just because you're in an exclusive relationship though doesn't mean you can't still flirt with other girls and express your sexuality in a manner that keeps it "large and in charge". My step-dad often quotes sayings like, "Just cause I can't eat the food doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!" and similar ones. By keeping yourself sexually open to other women in harmless ways like that, yet without getting physical beyond any acceptable levels, you don't lose that allure that you had previously because of the fact that you weren't locked-in.
Also, establish the fact that you still desire her madly and haven't lost that craving to be with her constantly. If you just let her fall in a rut, then she will and she'll drag you in after her. If you keep things interesting and exciting, then she'll do her best to keep up. I'd suggest reading Secrets of Female Sexuality by David Shade and perhaps his manual and that might help you understand the kind of frame you can adopt. I don't agree with everything he says, but mix it in with some solid ethics and common sense and you've got some powerful shit.