ONLINE DATING QUESTION ~ ASK J SMOOTH!!!



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:48 pm 
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Gravers & Browolf....If you read a few posts above I am taking a break from the community so I won't be responding for a while. Hopefully, someone else will be kind enough to help.

Thanks

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:39 pm 
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Thank you all for your kind remarks that so many of you PM'd me or emailed to me. I appreciate your patience in waiting while I was taking a break from the community.

I'm back and open to questions. The first page of this thread has a few groundrules. Please review it and fire away!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:39 am 
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JSmooth, it's great to see you back.
1) I downloaded DaveM's Insider Dating CD from the www.bitseduce.com/forums.php great BitSeduce torrent site and I'm glad I did. If any other readers want to do the same and check it out, just register for that great forum. It's not too bad (with his tips about using online dating sites over 4 years, rather than social networking ones, which he doesn't cover), but I don’t think it's worth the $US 100 it's being sold for.

He mentions guys shouldn't compliment a women on her online profile photo's good looks (if she looks hot), as it tends putting a woman on a pedestal, that women don't like kiss ass nice guys and that when you're online writing to a lady, plus that guys shouldn't be afraid to humorously tease and ball bust a lady online (that's if she gives enough info about herself on her online profile, of course as not all women do).

Like say something like (to a lady who does look attractive from her profile photo 'Hey I understand you're quite unattractive, guys probably can't stand looking at you and are repulsed when they do so and that you probably can't carry a conversation, so what made you join the site ?'
Do you think that style or approach would even work (or has for you), as a guy wouldn't want to cross the line and be too teasing, plus not all women have a good sense of humor and some might take offense.

2) If you think a lady is possibly using photo/s on her online profile that are too good to be true and may belong to someone else,
do you think a guy should (when writing to her) humorously tease
and / or ball bust her over her photo/s, or that it isn't really a wise strategy for a guy to use and that he can use a better technique.

3) You've probably covered this question before, but with writing to a lady online (that you're interested in) who doesn't reply (that often makes guys not bother with using online sarging, or that causes them to get fairly frustrated with using online) what's your strategy with that.
It's good being persistent with maybe 2 or 3 messages, but at what point do you say, 'waste of time, move onto someone else', or do you wait maybe 2 - 4 weeks and send a final message (if so, how do you word a final message).


Last edited by Greg007 on Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:17 am 
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JSmooth, it's great to see you back.
THANKS
Quote:
He mentions guys shouldn't compliment a women on her online profile photo's good looks (if she looks hot), as it tends putting a woman on a pedestal, that women don't like kiss ass nice guys and that when you're online writing to a lady, plus that guys shouldn't be afraid to humorously tease and ball bust a lady online (that's if she gives enough info about herself on her online profile, of course as not all women do).
I agree with this...
Quote:
Like say something like (to a lady who does look attractive from her profile photo 'Hey I understand you're quite unattractive, guys probably can't stand looking at you and are repulsed when they do so and that you probably can't carry a conversation, so what made you join the site ?'
Do you think that style or approach would even work (or has for you), as a guy wouldn't want to cross the line and be too teasing, plus not all women have a good sense of humor and some might take offense.
I personally wouldn't do this. Many women will take it the wrong way. They can't hear how you are saying it or see your body language. They are going to assume you're an ass. Some will get it but I error on the side of caution.
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2) If you think a lady is possibly using photo/s on her online profile that are too good to be true and may belong to someone else,
do you think a guy should (when writing to her) humorously tease
and / or ball bust her over her photo/s , or that it isn't really a wise strategy for a guy to use and that he can use a better technique.
You can try it. I really haven't gone that far into experimenting with that stuff. Just see what works for you and record your results.
Quote:
3) You've probably covered this question before, but with writing to a lady online (that you're interested in) who doesn't reply (that often makes guys not bother with using online sarging, or that causes them to get fairly frustrated with using online) what's your strategy with that.
It's good being persistent with maybe 2 or 3 messages, but at what point do you say, 'waste of time, move onto someone else', or do you wait maybe 2 - 4 weeks and send a final message (if so, how do you word a final message).
I wait I don't reply in about a week I send another email like "Hey, what's up did you fall off the earth?" At that point I start moving on. If I hear back from her then great, if not the oh well.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:34 pm 
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Thanks JSmooth. I forgot to include this last one :

Where negs can work with women in face to face situations, does a guy contacting a lady online have to be rather careful how he uses them, or do you think they lose their impact. Like if a guy says to a lady online (who looks attractive from her profile photo/s) not in his opening message's first line, but somewhere in his first message to her,
'so what else do you think you've got going for yourself, besides your great looks ?' If I said that to a lady online, I'd say to her my own answer to that is in what I say about myself in my own profile.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:41 pm 
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Thanks JSmooth. I forgot to include this last one :

Where negs can work with women in face to face situations, does a guy contacting a lady online have to be rather careful how he uses them, or do you think they lose their impact. Like if a guy says to a lady online (who looks attractive from her profile photo/s) not in his opening message's first line, but somewhere in his first message to her,
'so what else do you think you've got going for yourself, besides your great looks ?' If I said that to a lady online, I'd say to her my own answer to that is in what I say about myself in my own profile.
I've actually used that as an opener a few times with descent results but nothing fantastic. It can work though. It does do pretty good when you have it inserted somewhere in the message.

Personally, when I am online I tend to use more of false disqualifiers which are a type of neg as you know. Negs are pretty good when you are in person in a group situation but online they should be used lightly.

I'm more likely to use a neg if I'm in chat with someone so I can see how they take it, rather than sending an email and possibly not hearing from them again.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:18 am 
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hey jsmooth. awesome of u to set up this thread.. i'm just getting started on the forum, but im committed enough to be around for longer than the average newbie.
Basically, ive been facebooking this HB9.5. she's 39 and has just upped the ante in our convo by changing her profile pic to a partially naked one and messaging me the following..

not bad, i am a fiesty girl & very confident in myself, as for past mates, some were above average some average, but new what they were doing , i choose a horse because i like 2 keep a stable of studs handy & choose the one i want to ride. & i'll let u take me out for dessert..... if you play ur cards right..... xxx

this was after i msg'd her some pyschological spiel about which animal she'd be and which she'd marry (found on forum).. and also something bout me letting her take me out to dinner if she plays her cards right. it's the first time she's been this flirty.
any tips on the reply? cheers


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:46 am 
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hey jsmooth. awesome of u to set up this thread.. i'm just getting started on the forum, but im committed enough to be around for longer than the average newbie.
Basically, ive been facebooking this HB9.5. she's 39 and has just upped the ante in our convo by changing her profile pic to a partially naked one and messaging me the following..

not bad, i am a fiesty girl & very confident in myself, as for past mates, some were above average some average, but new what they were doing , i choose a horse because i like 2 keep a stable of studs handy & choose the one i want to ride. & i'll let u take me out for dessert..... if you play ur cards right..... xxx

this was after i msg'd her some pyschological spiel about which animal she'd be and which she'd marry (found on forum).. and also something bout me letting her take me out to dinner if she plays her cards right. it's the first time she's been this flirty.
any tips on the reply? cheers
Hey man welcome to the forum! I love helping guys on this forum when I can.

She sounds fiesty and fun, she'd be a person I'd like to meet, but that's beside the point you need a reply to her without breaking your frame you have going here. You have her hooked and the sexual frame is working as you want it to so far. Her buying temperature is up at the moment so the best thing we can really do now is to close and get a date. We want to keep this playful and flirty as we have been but we need to get you 1 x 1.

I would say something back like, "If I was a barnyard animal I would be a rooster because there are only two things a rooster likes to do. One of them is eating I am going to one of my favorite places on xxxxx you should come along so we can discuss desert."

This keep things playful and sexual. Obviously, roosters are also known as "cocks" which is a way to bring it up without saying it. It starts to build some extra sexual tension. You don't have to use my words exactly but take the ideas and just write your response back.

CHEERS MAN :wink:

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:02 am 
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i replied before i saw what ud posted..

good point.. i wouldnt want to put the ball in the woman's hands. you'd probably end up taking me to dennys or something.
one horse not enough. hunny, if i were a horse, id be too much for you.. however experienced at riding u think u are, id always be in control
p.s. nice pic. now i dont have to imagine u naked

i feel im jumping through her hoops now :(


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:53 pm 
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i replied before i saw what ud posted..

good point.. i wouldnt want to put the ball in the woman's hands. you'd probably end up taking me to dennys or something.
one horse not enough. hunny, if i were a horse, id be too much for you.. however experienced at riding u think u are, id always be in control
p.s. nice pic. now i dont have to imagine u naked

i feel im jumping through her hoops now :(
You did jump through her hoops some, since we are doing that it may hurt the interaction a little bit, but we'll see what she responds with.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:23 am 
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learnt my lesson. i managed to hold on to the convo tho..

HB: hunny ive heard that before, a man thinking he is too much to handle, and beleive me it is the other way around, even at your age you might need viagra to keep up with me. and there is more to me then my back but i do like my own curves and know how to move them.... grrrrrr

TRADER: i thought we were talking about horses ;)
ive heard the same reply before too. but damn, thats a welcomed reply, it finally givs me someone 2 challenge. u meet my criteria :p
i think itd be a good contest.. & lets be honest.. actions spk louder than words right. maybe u'll get the chance 2 meet your match next time I fancy dessert grrr

HB: I like a challenge, & yes u will have to prove yourself a gd competitor, shud we have game rules??? whts your pleasure your turn ons, and how far are you willing to go?????

TRADER: okay, firstly, you gotta answer the same questions you're asking me..
..then the convo moved very openly and explicitly onto sex.
..an f-close would be soon to follow but im out of the country for a month.. so we'll see. now ive hooked her im not too bothered tho haha :D

cheers for the help


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 8:08 am 
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learnt my lesson. i managed to hold on to the convo tho..

HB: hunny ive heard that before, a man thinking he is too much to handle, and beleive me it is the other way around, even at your age you might need viagra to keep up with me. and there is more to me then my back but i do like my own curves and know how to move them.... grrrrrr

TRADER: i thought we were talking about horses ;)
ive heard the same reply before too. but damn, thats a welcomed reply, it finally givs me someone 2 challenge. u meet my criteria :p
i think itd be a good contest.. & lets be honest.. actions spk louder than words right. maybe u'll get the chance 2 meet your match next time I fancy dessert grrr

HB: I like a challenge, & yes u will have to prove yourself a gd competitor, shud we have game rules??? whts your pleasure your turn ons, and how far are you willing to go?????

TRADER: okay, firstly, you gotta answer the same questions you're asking me..
..then the convo moved very openly and explicitly onto sex.
..an f-close would be soon to follow but im out of the country for a month.. so we'll see. now ive hooked her im not too bothered tho haha :D

cheers for the help
Sounds like you are doing pretty well there for the most part. Too bad you are out of the country for a month. :? Seems like you would have it if you were there. As I said before you were going down the right path you just needed to pull the trigger to ask for a date. My final suggestion to you is since you are going to be out of the country is to get her # so that you guys can talk more.

This way you can banter in more real time plus you get the benefit of building some more attraction and comfort before you get back.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:30 am 
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J freaking Smooth welcome back man...Everyone J knows his shit listen and take it all in what he suggests to you,just give him time to respond and make sure your willing to listen..Jsmooth has helped me on several problems I have had and his method is awesome...I for one am glad to see you back J as I am sure you read that elsewere...I hope you had a nice ralxation period...I am ready to see your reports again..Oh yea before I forget Go Colts! :twisted:


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:43 am 
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J freaking Smooth welcome back man...Everyone J knows his shit listen and take it all in what he suggests to you,just give him time to respond and make sure your willing to listen..Jsmooth has helped me on several problems I have had and his method is awesome...I for one am glad to see you back J as I am sure you read that elsewere...I hope you had a nice ralxation period...I am ready to see your reports again..Oh yea before I forget Go Colts! :twisted:
Normally I don't allow NFL plugs on my post, but since it's you man. Besides that my Titans are having issues. It's like a movie starring the abscent minded quarterback Vince Young.

I appreciate the kind words!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:03 pm 
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Yea I wouldn't have done it but I had just saw the colts had won and I had never said that to ya so i was like what the hell...Yea he is having some issues I hope he gets them settled but hey there are 2 and 0...Oh well like I said glad to see your back J...Not a problem on the compliments...


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