Just the other day, I was feeling fine with the kind of person that I was. Then when 420 (weed smoking holiday) came around, and I felt like dying. After smoking weed, I begin to pick myself apart. (theres nothing wrong with that right?) I noticed things about myself that were very ugly/disappointing. I figured out things about myself that I couldn't see sober.

Before smoking weed, i thought i had come closer to figuring out who i really was and on the way to fixing myself with the help of David Deangelo products. But the funny thing is that I HAD TO smoke to realize MAJOR aspects my life that my brain had "ignored". Which leads me to think that I must be crazy and/or delusional. I smoked again last night and feel like shite (only emotionally of course!)

I feel better for finding out more about myself, but I am extremely worried about the fact that i could not see the current state my life was in. I am worried because of the fact that i would lie to myself and ignore my problems.

pua forever!

Your conscious mind will sometimes block things out, so that you don't really notice them. When you do drugs, your subconcious mind becomes more conscious, so a lot of those issues that you didn't consciously notice and that your subconscious was keeping hidden from you, are now visible. This happens when you drink and reflect sometimes too.

This doesn't mean you are crazy, it just means that you need to work on some things and then you will be happier with who you are. Also, stop doing drugs, cause it's making you feel like crap and that isn't going to help you be productive at all. Maybe when you've made some progress towards fixing some of the issues that are bothering you so much you can resume.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Couldnt agree more with Rye.

Drugs are counterproductive , but can indeed give a stronger voice to your subconcious. When they make u feel like shit i would advice to stay away from them.

U are not crazy , for the simple reason that most crazy ppl dont question their "saneness". Same applies to u beeing delusional.

As Rye says the mind will sometime block things out , it does so in order to help u proccess those "problems" so u wont have to deal with all of them at once.

Try not to focus on solving all your "percieved" problems but on how to deal with em while beeing happy.

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Never let failure get the best of your creativity !

yea, don't do drugs. I quit weed for a year now, it kind of made me forget what I really wanted to do in my life, about the changes I wanted to make.

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"I use to believe when a girl said she love me, but now I take off, don't look back and keep runnin. A hundred MPH Im hidin my smile but now I find time just for writin it down" -Equipto

"Life's not a bitch, Life is a beautiful woman" -Aesop Rock

ive said it once ill say it again. Humans are habitual creatures. We get into a pattern and after being in that pattern long enough we dont realize we are in it again. Its fact, everyone does it. Now need to beat yourself up over it.

The best thing is that you realized the errors in your life right now and can fix them, thats what this is all about...become a better person.

Trust me your not alone, for many people it takes a drastic event before they realize they are not doing what they need or want to. For you it cost you a few buck and a nice high.

~ Mystic

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"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

Why should I stop using drugs (alcohol too?) if they give me a different perspective? What is the basis on?

I'd base in on the fact that you feel worse after doing drugs, is that not enough for you? That never happened to me, but I only smoke on occasion due to the fact that its way expensive and I've seen what it can do to people. Sure, they may give you a different perspective, but they highlight your negative characteristics. So you can either work on fixing them, or go under.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

I drink...its my anti-drug Sometimes i find myself drinking too much in the club, and of course you let go easier but you also mess up more. My tolerance for alcohol is much more then others and unless im in a good frame of mind before drinking as said above my negative characteristics come out. It happens to everyone from time to time. Working on issues within yourself should always be done with a clear mind, otherwise you might program yourself into another negative pattern without realizing.

~ Mystic

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"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."