Just joined up here and was wondering if you guys had any ideas.

I've got a severe case of one-itis. Trouble is, I am already doing the things that are meant to cure me of this. I've got a steady HB girl that treats me really well, I've also got other girls who are available when I want.

However, I met a girl in the lift of my apartment block, I got her number and gave her a call.. We then met up and she then asked if I 'wanted to be set up with a friend of hers'.. I said No. We have then been texting for a few weeks and she seemed keen.. I've invited her out but she always declines.. however she has invited me over a couple of times, cooked me dinner, but not even the slightest hint of a come-on. We get on really well when we meet, but she shows absolutely no sign that I could make a move.. and believe me I can spot them. It has got to the stage now where I have stopped texting because I feel my keeness is turning her off.

I always try to avoid one-itis, but I am obsessing about this girl and don't know what I have done wrong that she shows no interest, but seems intent on messing me about. She's definately no HB and is considerably less hot than other girls I see, but she's smart with a good job and I'm fixated by her.

I don´t think it´s one-itis. I think the problem is really simple. You said it yourself in your post that you have an HB for a girlfriend and a few others that you can call whenever you want to. Obviously you have no problem picking up chicks. Then a girl comes along that shows no sign of interest. She´s not an HB but you can´t seem to get anywhere with her right?
I think you´re obsessed with her because you can´t have her and that´s driving you crazy. My advice is...get over it! I bet that once this girl succumbs to your attempts and you have her, you´ll lose interest in a heartbeat.

Smoke

I think Smokes right its probably just the fact that your used to getting people better looking than her whenever you want. This girl is just fascinating you because she isnt falling for your routines.
Unfortunately I've never discovered a cure for this I would just try and stay clear of her for a while and pull plenty of HB to keep your mind off her.

Regards
Stag

_________________
Chat msn staghounder@hotmail.com

Thanks V much Smoke & Stag.. Appreciate the heads up..

..but still need to get this out of my system.. last message I had from this girl was that she is busy n would call me "at the end of next week".. that's now and still no call.. I have my LTR here with me now.. but still obsessing about what this other girl is doing (out getting picked up by other guys.. etc)..

I now have no interest with LTR and feel I've lost it with the girl downstairs.. I was out in places tonight and could have made the effort with another couple of girls.. but my mind is completely fixated on this one.. As said.. this girl is no HB, but she must have stoked something because I have all the symptoms of one-itis.. maybe I've met someone I gel with on an intellectual level.. who knows??

The typical advice of.. 'go and get more HB' isn't working, because I seem to have lost interest.. crazy!

I guess the next advice I'm looking for is.. Leave it well alone.. or try a new line with her and risk getting burnt.

maybe you should stop writing with her or stop calling her or if she calls you, that you keep the call short...
maybe then it will make "click" in her head and she will realize that she is loosing you.. or your interest...
hope it works..

plan

I agree with all the advises up there,

However pick up is not about giving up the girl u can have by just saying its one itis. As a matter of fact the word has been so over used that newbie PUAs use it for granted when ever they cant have a gal and disregard a failiure.

As i analyze your problem, hoping that your doing verything else fine, i only see one problem, ATTAINABILITY.

Though girls do get attracted to guys who are hard to get and they have to put in an effort for, however if the guy is too good for them, the ARM comes in, (auto rejection mechanism), where the girl feels the guy is too out of the league for him and unattainable so she shouldtnt be even thinking abt him. So as u have been going out wid all these SHBs, and as i see it she must be knowing it, shew would feel that y would he be interested in me. It happenes to the best of us, ever heard of the problem the mPUA Style faced.

Anyway, to cut the long story short act more attainable to her, some thing she can have, though dont totally throw ureself, make her earn it.


Ciao

get her away from her apartment, out of her comfort zone. have her meet you somewhere else where you can have a new experience. if you let her pick the venue you probably will not make it out of the friend zone.

LOL
This is what i would do!Even though you guys are gonna laugh you will see what i mean!!!!
I would write her a letter and leave it under her door with a poem about love thats not written by yourself.The letter should be written by you and it should be light and cocky and funny like the ones you got in school!Childish even
Then even if she calls or text messages - ignore her!
However it is most likely that she wont!
Then i'll do it again the following week + 1 day so in other words if you gave it to her tuesday then give it to her next week wednesday!...different letter but same poem!
And same thing again but under no circumstances respond to any text messages or calls if you run in to her .....pretend like you did not even see her, even if she is right in front of you- unless she grabs you
Then the third week you write another letter but this time the letter says : YOU NEED TO GET OVER YOURSELF!!! Thats the heading.
And say crap like you a knight that went looking for his princess and found her bla bla bla something about how he made sacrifices for her bla bla bla and when found she did not even know he was for her!
And hurt by this and his armor being deeply bent he is forced to serve his days out alone bla bla bla

And worse she will never know the joy that could have been theirs !

And a different poem! about lost love!!!

If she does not come around after this .... you go fuck another girl on her front door so she can wake up!
Or you could just be a man and next time she invites you to her place just take her by the hand and kiss her even when she tries to pull away!
Some girls ned to be taken ....but gently!
Then apologise and leave!even if she was not trying to pull away!
She will be ''what the fuck'' and come after you!
and if that dont work why bother she must be dead inside!
So choice is yours?

_________________
I am to be the next best thing in south africa

Tell her how you feel, tell her what you told us. She's smart, successful, and you can tell her she's beautiful. Believe it or not it might sound like a bitch move, but it's a last resort...Either way it can be relieving to get it off your chest..Whether you text it or call her or do it in person if your at this point where your fixated on her and can't get over it, just go for it. See what happens.

You'll get a straight answer and either capitalize or move on...Trust me it's easier to move on after you get a straight answer instead of letting your mind fantasize about whether she likes you or clues regarding possibilities.

To the point.

she probably reads these forums and knows the tricks and is a step ahead playing you. think about it... just my .02 could be totally wrong. but whatever she is doing it working

I agree with Smoke. You want what you are not getting... Cat String theroy in reverse...

You invite her out and she never comes but when she invites you out, you go...

Are you being easy for her? Always available?
You need to turn it around.

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Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)

it does sound like you only want her because she's hard to get, however it seems as though she's never seen you as more than a friend, and consequently never as a potential BF or indeed as a sexual being. if you try and make her see you in this light by discussing the HB with her a bit and dropping some subtle hints about sex with the HB, she would hopefully start to realize you are a sexual being.

it seems like she likes spending time with you, even if it is only on her terms. so if you talk about the HB with her and spend less time with one-itis girl, making it clear that its because your'e with the HB, she may decide that she wants to spend more time with you, making it easier for you to see her on your terms but also she will see you in a different light, and if she wants to spend more time with you she will realise that you want a physical relationship and she will be more open to it or may even instigate it.

j

Ok, yes this is classic Cat-string theory. Its just like HBs they are used to having who'ever they want. Thus, because you are successful its coming back on you.

Here's a concept you can try. Stop talking to her. Don't ignore her out right, but stop coming to her beck and call. If she calls you answer, but keep the chat short. If she asks to hang out be like nah I have to do something. Also, at this point because you are so hung by this girl. Go meet 5 other girls. Its an easy way to get her off your mind when you are talking to someone new.

Lol I think she's beating you at the game. Seen as shes not interested in you, just stop showing interest seriously and don't be so eager or easy. Do'ntmake out that your easy to get. Try to give the impression that you got places to go and people to meet and your not there waiting on her.

In the end she'll relize she's got to show interest in you, if she doesn't just moved on because it isnt going to work between you two.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

I had this problem... And im not saying you are pathetic, but it is a pathetic problem to have... And this is hard to swallow.. But if you want her....


1. Dont call her (to say hi, or tell her a story, or to ask her a question)
2. dont text her (to say hi, or tell her a story, or to ask her a question)
3. dont email her (to say hi, or tell her a story, or to ask her a question)
4. dont contact her on aim (to say hi, or tell her a story, or to ask her a question)


You have to cut her out of your life... trust me on this one.. If you havent fucked it up too bad already.. She will come sniffing around. Also, try and "hang out" with some of her friends while not talking to her. Guaranteed to get her attention sprung on what on earth you are up to.