I am a sex therapist in NYC...and I think it is a problem when I want to connect...

Why? I get asked what I do and people get quiet on me....like I am going to analyze them or something...

Any ideas on how I can use this to my advantage?

Thanks!

_________________
Res firma mitescera nescit

Hey, Farrish! I'm actually planning on becoming a sex therapist and I was wondering how you went about it? I'm currently thinking that I'll go to UBC next fall and do a BA in psychology, instead of a BSc because it sounds like the BA deals more with actual theoretical psychology and a BSc deals more with chemicals and such. From there I know I need to get a masters, but I don't know if there is an actual masters specifically for that field, or if its something else?

As for your question, I would say that a lot of jobs aren't exactly useful as far as helping you in PU, so what we try to do is either say something C&F like, "I'm a disposable lighter repair salesman". Or in my case (I haven't used this one yet, but I'm gonna field test it soon) I'm a telecomm technician right now, so I install and repair phone lines (that sounds very lame) so I will tell them that I "install and repair tin can and string sets for people" or something along those lines. You don't need to tell people what you actually do, and if you are going to, make it a joke. I have talked to some people who thought that becoming a sex therapist would be a very attractive quality because its helping people with their problems and because you are also so knowledgable about sex! Use everything you can to your advantage!

Yeah what he said.

Hey Rye,

Thanks for the note man...it's a very cool point about not really talking about your real career. I just thought that would be a way of qualifying myself to an HB. I am gonna have to read more on this...

As for being a sex therapist...there are very few schools in the US that certify one to have that title. If you are interested in getting your training here...def tons of HBs , go to this link:

http://www.aasect.org/profession.asp

You can use the AASECT to get all the professional info you need. As for Canada, I am not sure...

BTW, I am posting my first FT, so if you get a chance take a look bro


FC

_________________
Res firma mitescera nescit

There is a time and a way to DHV by letting a girl know what you do for a living. If you just say, "Oh yeah? That's a cool job! I'm a sex therapist" you are going to get a different reaction that "Hey, I'm a sex therapist" and from "Sweethart, please stop flirting so shamelessly with me. All I do all day at work is talk to people about their sex lives. I came here just to hang out and have a drink (or shoot some pool, or whatever you are doing), not for you to try to get into my pants!" Of course you say this all very cocky and funny so she knows that you aren't actually giving her shit, but are just joking around, but you make her more interested by acting not interested in sex and then she will ask you what you mean by talking to people about their sex lives, then you just say in an offhand manner that you are a sex therapist. You have a great advantage by knowing so much about psychology and pick up is actually how I figured out that I love psychology so much and that it is what I want to do for a living, so now you just have to apply all your knowledge and your understanding to the art so that you know what phrases and words will trigger certain responses from people.

I have a friend who told her bf she wasn't going to go see him this weekend and then she realised she should cause it was his b-day on tuesday and so I told her what I would say: "Hey, I was thinking that I might come out this weekend after all and I was wondering if you wanted to see me and if you had the time to hang out?" So she asked if it was ok to say: "Hey, I figured I might come out that weekend anyway. If I did, would you have time to see me?"

Now, to the casual observer, its the same thing right? Wrong. By saying it my way it tricks his subconsciou into not dwelling on what is said because of how it just flows and states that it is her intent to come out and she wants to know if he wants to see her and has the time. Her way is saying that she might come out "anyway" which makes his mind go "well if I don't have the time, then I have to make the time and she's doing it whether I want or not" that's the problem with certain words, they trigger these automatic impulses in our brains and "anyway" implies "whether you want or not" even if you do want, it leaves a funny contradiction in your head and he might replay it several times and dwell on it. Also, asking if he has the time outright, shows that she is there just for him and its needy sounding, it would put me off if a person said that to me. Whereas my way makes the mind hear it like this, "I'm coming out there for my own reasons and if you're available we should hang out, if not, no biggy". I know a lot of people may not understand the finess of this, but if you can learn how exactly to phrase things, then you will be able to make interactions go so smooth you won't even believe it. So, practice thinking like this whenever you say something evaluate how you could have said it so that there were no "snags" and then eventually it just comes naturally and you can tell people exactly what you do, but in a way that doesn't sound like bragging, or isn't offputting.