I've just started trying out some of the PUA strategies, and I'm probably doing it wrong, but it has been disastrous.

I thought I'd just make up my own opener, that I barely rehersed. Boy do I regret that.

I walked by women, approched from the side, asked my opinion opener and the answers were just: "I don't know.... I don't know..." while they looked really uncomfortable.

At that point, I became uncomfortable too (Although I tried not to), but nethertheless, continued the opener and gave a false time constraint. The time constraint didn't change anything at all, they just continued to kinda ignore me and go "I don't know, I don't know", now probably glad that I was going away. (I felt that whetever I said, would be met with the same answer)

At that point I just said: "Well, ok, you don't know, thanks then..."

They were so uncomfortable with a strange person being there, no matter what I said, they just shot me down.

And I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm 23, they looked around that age too, there were 4 girls, 2 HB7s, 1 HB8 and 1 HB9

I wonder if there was anything I could have said, like "Come on, it's just a simple question, it's not possible that you don't know." I felt that if I carried on, they were just gonna call the bouncer on me or something.

What am I doing wrong? I know I shouldn't feel uncomfortable, but it's hard not to when everyone is looking at you like "What the hell is this guy thinking".

In the other set I tried, (3 girls, 1 HB4, 1 HB6 and 1 HB8), the HB4 girl actually answered the question, but the two others just turned their back on me. So again, I thanked them and went back to my friends.

In yet another set, (this one, I had a friend who was in the set, so he introduced me and it didn't feel so awkward).

Anyway, I tried to start one story or another, but they just completelly owned the frame, if I asked something, they lied and then laughed. One girl was showing of her new shoes to my friend which didn't really say anything, she saw me looking and said: "see, he is looking at my shoes.". I then said: "yeah, they are nice shoes, but I think your right foot is fatter than your left foot." jokingly, as a neg.

Well, guess what, she just looked at me like "what the fuck" and everyone else was confused like "why would anyone say that". Then I just said: "I'm kiddin, I'm kiddin". But they were still kinda upset by that remark, I just felt like I showed I had horrible social skills.

As she was leaving, she said goodbye and said "well, I'll try to exercise only my right foot" everyone around laughed, and then I said "You should try skateboarding" (and did a motion as if I was skatebording, working only one foot). She just laughed uncomfortably said: "right...." and left.

Now, I don't know if I am trying too hard, if the things I say just suck or If I just don't say it right, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it's working at all.

Oh, it DID work on one girl, i was telling story after story, giving a few cute negs, but not many though. She gave iois, touched her hair, reached for my hand, said she really liked me, etc., etc., however, she was an HB4, so I thought: well, god damnit, the only time it works is with an ugly girl.

I don't know if I'm just more comfortable around ugly girls because they are non-threatning or what, but I just couldn't make it work on the actual HB8+.

What do you guys think?

well what was your opener, then we can tell you what you said wrong

anf the neg you threw at her was a little weird and uncalled for

you should have said, yeah they are nice shoes, as a matter of fact i just bought a pair for my mother the other day

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I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

"Hey, can I ask you a quick question?"

"What do you think of guys who wear pink shirts"
(blah blah blah)
"I'm not going to stay long i have to go right back to my friends, but the reason I was asking is because I think that it's ok for men to wear pink shirts, but my friend over there thinks it's kind weird, what do you think?"

Yeah, it's not 100% original, but the problem wasn't the opener I think, just the fact that it wasn't completely rehearsed because i didn't want to come off as being rehearsed, but i think it did seem like it was rehearsed because I didn't feel very natural while saying it, but at least I gave it a shot.

And the neg... yeah, it was over the top I guess, problem is I just can't measure that, I'm horrible. For example, another neg (and this was just awful, awful). I asked the girl if she was this guys cousin, and she (controling the frame) lied and said "yes I am, don't we look alike". I said: "kinda, but he is prettier than you". NOW, I had no control of the frame at that point to begin with, so that sounded well... too gay lol. Not only that, it was like saying to her face that she was ugly (because my friend is indeed kinda ugly). They just walked all over me after that one. I hope I'm not a lost cause.

Keep in mind that what you're saying makes up very little of the communication channel that exists between you and the girl (only 7% in fact!). So much more depends on your voice tonality and your body language. Pay very close attention to these two things the next time you approach a woman.

If I had the right body language and voice tonality, I could probably open with "Hey, do you enjoy eating tuna fish sandwiches?" or something silly like that. I suspect the the problem is not your opener, but rather your body language and/or voice tonality.

You are not a lost cause! You just need to build new skills and drop any bad habits you might have.

- JasonD

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Jason D at The Game . Net

very true, when you have free time get in front of a mirror and practice your openers and watch yourself, if you think you feel awkward watching yourself say it, thats most likely what the HB's are thinking

and use your voice, dont sound like a pussy, but dont yell like you are a football coach

throw in some smiles too so they know you arent a creep, but a friendly guy

you will learn with practice

people just dont get good overnight

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

Yeah, I wasn't smiling at all, I came at them with a serious face, like as if I was asking a legitimate question. So It just seemed stupid.

Another problem is that in the middle of the opener I kinda forgot what to say, so I just kinda blurred out something really fast that they probably didn't even understand...

I know I should just say "fuck it" and carry on practicing, but i can't get it out of my mind, it's eating me up inside.

The best way to get these sort of experiences to stop "eating you up", as you put it, is to just go out there and make new experiences. You'll get it eventually. Just remember to focus on your body language and voice tonality next time.

Report back and tell us if it makes a difference!

- JasonD

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Jason D at The Game . Net

If your uncomfterable, so will your target. It was your first night, don't feel bad. I don't think it's what you said, it was the vibes you were giving off, that neg could have been funny it's just how you delevered. good luck next time.