Hey,

I need your guys advice. I was out on friday night after work with a few friends and my oneitis was out and texting me for the most of the night, asking where i was, am i going to meet her in a certain club. Long story short i ditched my friends and headed to meet her. Now with this chick, i've always felt that it was going to happen with this chick but she was always with someone or i had a girlfriend over the 2 years we've known each other.

Anyway, when i got into the club and met her, we had a drink, met her friends. I isolated her after a while into a corner of the club, we were having a lot of fun. After a while i started asking her whether she ever thought we ever had anything between us. She was a bit unsure at first saying 'we know so much about each other', basically i think about previous hook ups we had with people. I went right past this and just kissed her as we were already holding hands. No resistance. Made out a good few times over next hour or so. Didnt go home with her as i didnt want to try force anything.

My advice that i need is, whats the best way to proceed from here. Im in work in the morning and we usually email/IM a lot, and when i talk to her 2moro i dont want it to be just back to the usual conversations and beack in the friend zone. I want to try and push on. She texted me the morning after the club, but it was just texts about the previous night, hangovers etc. Should i just come out and ask her out or is this very AFC.

What do you guys think? Any advice will be helpful. Thanks

Congrats bro, solid result! We all want to meet a one-itis (although we never mention it)


My advice would be not to push her too much, when she IM's/emails you tomorrow.

If you come on too strong I reckon she'll shy away. Perhaps be polite on IM but act as if you are quite busy at work.

Short email replies like,

"Hey, I'm great.

frantic at work at the mo

"


And don't reply too quickly

Believe me, she will be analysing this just as much as you are. She'll be curious about how you are acting and will definitely mention the kiss at some point.

You just have to show that you are not too needy and let her make some of the legwork and I reckon you are home and dry.

She is obviously into you.

good luck man


Scamps

LOL wow. Yes, congratulations. From what I understand about one-itis, you've achieved something improbable. My one-itis is so far up on a pedestal that I will never, ever, ever reach her. Many men can probably relate to that.

A couple of things are going good for you. First of all, you are in regular contact with your one-itis, and she appears to reciprocate some of the feelings you have. Girls can be naive, but they aren't stupid. She wouldn't be texting you to meet up on a weekend, then let you isolate her at a club and kiss her if she didn't want that to happen in some capacity. Secondly, you appear to have enough inner confidence and presence of mind to not let her one-itis status scramble your brain. Probably wasn't a great idea to put her on the spot, but I guess it all worked out (kinda).

Now that I've cleared that up, you should take some confidence in that. In fact, the worst thing you can do right now is worry about whether you're an AFC. Of course you're not an AFC. Your one-itis wouldn't be interested in an AFC in the first place. DON'T "ask her out." Maybe see if she wants to grab lunch with you, or maybe if she can help you do something. Get her in a situation that takes the pressure off you two moving forward. If it's obvious it's a "date," not only will the pressure make her feel awkward, she may not even show up.

This might not be an option for you, but maybe you have a functional equivalent in your life: I'm a teacher, and sometimes I might ask a girl I like to help me grade. Now, if she likes me at all, the answer will usually be yes (and maybe because she's interested in seeing what I do as well), and the end result will be the same as if I asked her over to watch a movie. The difference is that if I ask her to help me do something, she's not feeling pressured to make out or get naked. Ironically, she ends up making out with me, and often getting naked.

Don't make your girl feel pressure. Keep the interaction fun. Get her to do something with you that puts you in a position to escalate things, but not something that places the sole emphasis on your interaction with her.

Hope that helps!

_________________
"He who makes an idiot of himself gets rid of the pain of being a genius."

Its probably too late , but i would ignore her texts /IMs for a while , reason being give her something too panic about , you will constantly be on her mind and you wont come off as being needy. After how long you can wait out or if she manages to get in touch with you just say too her
"im Kindo freaked out a little ...... i didnt know what to do ....... you captured my mind ..... how the hell did you do that ?! your evil " and then just invite her out to do some shopping or something and talk about how she captured your mind and that your scared of her doing that again , and that you dont think you should see her again if shes going too keep capturing your mind ( push and pull ) .
whatever you do goodluck !