This happened to me last weekend and I'm totally confused. I've met one very interesting girl. I was on a date with her both on Saturday and Sunday. She is that kind of girl/woman, who is smart enough to be able to talk about anything and attractive enough to to turn other people heads when she walks into a room. Everything was totally OK, we had an awesome time and she obviously liked me. But for some reason, I wasn't able to do anything. To hold her hand or kiss her or anything. I've totally lost my mind. Help me!

I'm not a pro player, but since I've recovered from a VERY bad break up (my ex kind of cheated on me, we weren't able to make it work again and she started dating one of my best friends just after the break up - she didn't cheat with him) and started the game, I picked a few girls and some of them were in my bed a few hours after we met. So I don't think the problem is that I'm a proper AFC. I think that my problem is, that I REALLY LIKE this girl and don't want only a one night stand. And maybe because I'm still kind of hurt from the break up or something, I'm really scared to do anything. I don't know. What shall I do? I really don't want to lost her, although I've missed my first chance and you you usually don't get the second one.

How long should I wait for her to text me, when should I do that?

Appreciate your help guys

Oneitis.

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Pre-Med Student: Pediatric Neurology (Year 2)
Water Polo Player (searching for college)
RAFC
Giovanni

You're probably gonna get LJBFed if you haven't kino escalated after a day 2 and 3.

In general, I would say make sure to practice the 3 kinos in 1 minute rule so that it becomes second nature to you. It makes it so much easier to escalate when you know she's already comfortable with you touching her.

With this specific girl, I dunno what you did on your 2 dates before, but I would try and get to to come out and do something totally different. If your dates were coffee and dinner or a film or something, then invite her out to a club with some of your friends (hopefully some female ones too). That way you might be able to show her a "side of you she's never seen before". If you come off in this setting as super confident and fun, and start kino escalating from the beginning, then you might be able to generate that attraction before it's too late.

Give it a shot, but don't get oneitis over her. If she does LJBF you, keep her as a female friend and reap the benefits of social proof, pivoting, and her hot friends that come along with it.

i know the feeling...

i think you have probably attachted way to much prestige to this one chick, over thinking even the most basic kino escalation as you dont want to ruin the great time your having that you could see going somewhere... am i right?

just treat it as u would another girl, showing her the sexual side of your personality. its not like she wont like this as its been going well... do it sooner rather than later b4 things get stale, constantly kino and keep it exciting

_________________
Pascal.

A PUA is for life, not just for christmas

Thanks guys. It's very true Pascal. That's why I was so shocked, because I knew exactly what to do. I just, for some reason couldn't do it. This hasn't happened to me before. I think that I should get a good sleep, not think and get back to the usual. Because she would already be mine if I did it. And not waiting for a guy who will ask her if she believes in magic

This question seems maybe a little bit out of my level. I haven't escalated very much, and its basically because I fear rejection because of escalation.

Kiss closes are even hard for me, because I fear her saying "uh... what are you doing? We're just friends. Sorry." I FEAR that. I sense that you fear this same concept...

The only problem is, you have been there before. You have done everything there is to do. Why would you have no problem escalating with these other girls but fear escalation with this intelligent head-turning HB9?

Shes an intelligent head-turning HB9. This is all I can think of that would intimidate you. Maybe you have a subconscious belief that she is 'out of your league'?
Anyway, word of advice from a newb whos been there,

Just do it. Escalate without fear of consequence.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Sharplin, I travelled around Canada and USA a few months ago and I was in Toronto too. I loved that place

But I don't think it's the concept you've mentioned. First of all, I don't think that she is out of my league. Actually, I think that I'm at least as good catch for her as she is for me. HB6-8 try to chat me up, so it's not about the confidence. I'm pretty sure that I would feel the same if she was a HB6 and I was attached to her that much.

I don't fear the rejection. I want to escalate it, because I'll then know how do I stand with her. And I think that I won't get rejected. I "just" have to find a way how to separate that attachment a bit and just be myself again. That's a bit tricky, because she is the first one I'm attached to after a very bad break up with my ex last year. I think that this is the reason, why my hands are so tied up.

When I re-read your post, it made me realise this and it really helped. Thanks a lot and much luck

a short update... as I wrote earlier, I've totally screwed up the last weekend. we both do salsa and we met at a party tonight. but i went there with a lot of friends (one of them had a birthday). so i spent most of the time with them, and we really had a lot of fun. just said hi and had a one dance with her.

when i was leaving and went to kiss her good bye, she was like "we didn't dance that much today". My reply was "that's true, but we had a lot of fun anyway and we can have more dances next time". she looked kind of disappointed, like she expected different answer. a bit later, when I was waiting for my friends, i noticed that she looked at me once or twice. does it mean that i still have a chance? i'm almost sure that she won't text or email me. shall i let it be or text her? if yes, when?

what is a "bonus" in this story is, that one of her friends has started to fancy me (she is a HB5-6) and i have to to let her go, but i can't be rude (what i usually am with that kind of girls) because they know each other from salsa classes and usually meet twice a week...

I think it sounds like she has feelings for you, and maybe she is starting to think that your not that interested in her. I mean if you havnt really made a move on her yet and you spent most of the time at the party with your friends and not with her, she has got to be thinking your not that into her. And your right, she probably wont email or text you first, she doesn't want to get rejected either. I'd say wait a day or two and call her and ask her out again. And when you do go out with her again, MAKE YOUR MOVE! Your going to get stuck in the Friend Zone if you dont act soon

a short update... Looks like I'm falling into the friend zone. The biggest problem is, that she is really busy (employed full time, writes the dissertation for her masters) and she doesn't have any spare time. So there isn't any chance to meet her (or very very very low) next 1-2 weeks. Now I really don't know what to do, because the only way how to get in touch with her is to call/text/email her. But I suppose that I can't do it often and it looks like it doesn't work. She usually says how busy she is at work and with dissertation, and she is also ill now. No sparkle or anything...

What do you reckon? Should I wait and get back in touch with her in a week or two, when she has more time? Or should I give it up? Or should I do something else?

My advice is if you care about her, don't let her slip away. If she's busy, then give her her space and time, but don't let her forget about you.

Then once this 1-2 weeks are over, you make plans.

_________________
Recovering AFC as of 4 months ago
Me: http://i49.tinypic.com/2zyiqzp.jpg
(Pic taken for lifting progress)

send her messages and emails that a friend wouldnt send, subtle hints, flirting etc etc... if your already in the friends zone it will be obvious wen she responds to these by changing the subject or wateva BUT she could also flirt back and then you would know where you stand and have set urself up for some kino and escalation...

nothing to lose man

_________________
Pascal.

A PUA is for life, not just for christmas

Another update...

It was a bit challenging, but I haven't texted/emailed/anything her until the last Sunday. I texted her something like "You have to relax and can't work all the time. I'm coming to pick in the evening...". The result was, that we talked for about an hour. But she had a break before so we didn't go anywhere. But she suggested cinema next weekend instead (it's no chance for either of us to meet earlier). It looks like I've got another chance.

There were some hints on how she might feel when we talked. But it started being confusing after a while and looked like all options are possible (she likes me, she wants me only as a friend, she is confused and doesn't know what she wants, she is not confident enough and thinks that I can have much better girl - she didn't say that, I just felt it). I talk to my best female friends about it simultaneously and she didn't know.

I wonder if she gets in touch to agree when will we go to the cinema. I bet she doesn't. So I will wait until Thursday evening to ask her. Or any other idea?

Will keep you updated

The result for now...

I've got stuck into the friend zone... FAIL. We talked a bit and I could be successful only if I did my move on the first date. But it's not that bad, because I have another one, who is HB9 and this will help me to get over my oneitis...