Hey there..don't know if I'm intruding on an all boys club here or not. I'm a female, 21 years old and a lesbian. I figured you guys can help me, cuz I really have no male perspective in my life to deal with ladies and I assume at some point I could help you guys with an (honest) female perspective. On to a bit of a problem of mine...I seem to be suffering from some one-itis, as I have seen it referred to here. I dated a girl for 4 years prior to breaking things off with her about a year and a half ago. We have remained friends for the most part (just friends) but I would be interested in dating her again. I've went thru some really 'wussy' times and some 'PUA' times with her as well. Our most recent conversation ended with her saying we shouldnt speak for awhile and that my jealousy was terrible and it felt like we were still dating and she doesnt want that, she wants to be independent and just friends. I thought I would be crushed but I was suprisingly strong and went a whole week without contacting her and then she called me. We ended up talking for two hours, I kept it very light and funny. We had a function we both had to go to on Wed. and she couldnt keep the smile off her face when I was near/talking to her. We hung out later that night and it was okay..nothing special..no wussy behavior on my part. Then today..Fri..I texted her with some cocky/funny lines and she responded once but then not again to my second text. Should I just give up and totally move on? Mind you we did date for a looong time and pretty much assumed we would always be together. She sends some awful mixed signals. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. PS..sorry for the length. And plus, do you guys think all this stuff works for lesbians too? I mean, I personally don't see why not, but I want some other opinions. Thanks.

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A general rule of thumb if you are suffering one-itis is to go get laid a dozen times by other women and see if you still feel the same way, its just a hump you have to get over.

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- Eagle

You're in a tough situation, to be sure.

The following advice is what I would give to a guy in your situation, so not all of it may apply perfectly.

You need to, at the very least, put on a mask of not caring about whether you get back together with this girl or not. If you need to talk about how attached/jealous you feel, talk to someone else about it (not the girl you're interested in).

Keep up the light/funny conversations, try not to touch on anything relationship-related. IF she asks how you feel about getting together, don't be too eager. I have been in a situation like this before, and when the girl eventually brought up getting back into a relationship, I just said "I'm not sure how I feel, let's just go on a date and see where it takes us".

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no its NOT!!!

Thank you for those of you who have tried to help. And Ming..care to elaborate? It's not just a hump is what I assume you are saying..but I don't want to jump to conclusions.

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