I have very low self-esteem - help!



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 12:44 am 
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I have been reading some articles on the internet about natural game, and one of the articles had the following quote
Quote:
...if you are a nerd and you walk over to a hot girl and she says "bug off," you're probably going to turn around and walk away right? Then your going to come up with strategies to make her pay attention. Now what if you were better looking then Brad Pitt, had more money then Donald Trump, and she said that. You would probably laugh. And she would respond differently because you responded differently.
While I am obviously not better looking than Brad Pitt or richer than Donald Trump, I am seriously struggling to see what at all I can bring to the table - I am (at best) fairly good looking, shorter than average (5 foot 8 - this has always been a massive kicker to my self esteem), poorly built, jobless and overdrawn since I graduated university in June with a 2:2, been single for 4 years, quiet, and regularly fade into the background in social occasions.

This feels like a catch 22 situation, where I need to be confident in order for this to work, but it won't work until I am confident!

What can I do?


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:09 am 
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You are framing these things in a bad light, as I see it you could get as much ass as anyone else. Where you from? also stop looking at your bad points instead look at your good points. I suspect you are intelligent (what with the degree and all), jobless = freedom, short = being able to go under the radar, everyone is overdrawn, quiet not necessarily a bad thing, I am a shy person and still represent. It is all about just practicing, no matter what your looks are or personality there is a way to get women, it is pure trial and error.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:32 am 
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I know exactly how it feels.. i was a hugely insecure person until i found this community, i would have mental hang ups about everything - especially my weight, i'm not gonna deny it - im a bigger guy..

But then, i learned not to care. As soon as i stopped giving a damn about my own insecurities, a very quickly learned dress scence and figured out how to carry myself.

your height shouldn't really be an issue - 5'8 isn't bad at all, its actually about the average height of most women.. which means you don't have to slouch over to hear them talk, or kiss them..

being unemployed is a bummer, but a lot of people are in the same boat these days.. the world is in a reccession after all.. especially in the UK, 17-21yr olds are finding it really hard to get even basic jobs..

when you have a minute..check out a video of PUA-Cajun chatting on YT, just search "Cajun Mens room tv"..

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch


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 Post subject: Confidence
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:44 am 
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The important thing here is to realize that you aren't changing who you are, just putting emphasis on different attributes of your personnality.

The more you act confident (even if you dont beleive it) the more confident you will eventually become. When you walk into a room act like you own it. Women will rarely turn you down for being too cocky, but they'll almost always turn you down for being insecure. So play it up, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

dJ vIrAl


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:59 am 
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being a PUA in my opinion is more then just get women, its about feeling good about yourslef, not even good but confident, i think the best way is just say HI and GOOD MORNING to everybody, and whenever u feel that "fear of aproach" just logically think that u shouldnt have it coz it doesnt make sense, and that shame is a bad thing, after a while u will feel better about yourself and more oportunities (not only sexual) will come in ur way

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 9:53 am 
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Quote:
I have been reading some articles on the internet about natural game, and one of the articles had the following quote
Quote:
...if you are a nerd and you walk over to a hot girl and she says "bug off," you're probably going to turn around and walk away right? Then your going to come up with strategies to make her pay attention. Now what if you were better looking then Brad Pitt, had more money then Donald Trump, and she said that. You would probably laugh. And she would respond differently because you responded differently.
While I am obviously not better looking than Brad Pitt or richer than Donald Trump, I am seriously struggling to see what at all I can bring to the table - I am (at best) fairly good looking, shorter than average (5 foot 8 - this has always been a massive kicker to my self esteem), poorly built, jobless and overdrawn since I graduated university in June with a 2:2, been single for 4 years, quiet, and regularly fade into the background in social occasions.

This feels like a catch 22 situation, where I need to be confident in order for this to work, but it won't work until I am confident!

What can I do?
The way i see it is like this:
A guy has a problem- he aknowledges that he has a problem- he tries to find the answer to his problem by locateing the root of the problem- he locates it and tries to affect to the causes that leads to it- problem solved


And i think you just anwsered to your own problem here. There is no short cuts in these inner game things. These are the types of problems that YOU need to figure out and not us due to the fact that the solution is in you.
What ever you do, never give up!

[ Johnny B ]

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When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler


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