Here's the situation: Two nights ago I went out with a girl and it got pretty late. In the morning we went to her place and I slept with her (but it didn't advance to sex). Today I've txt her if she want's to come along to some free festival. Here is what she responded:

"Hey, can't come tonight. I'm babysitting the whole weekend. I like to go out with you some time, but only as friends. X"

This is of course an obvious LJBF. But I'm not sure about her motivation. She told me she broke up with her boyfriend four weeks ago, so maybe she is emotionally not ready for something new yet. Or maybe she is just testing what kind of person I am and what my intentions are. Or she actually is not interested in me at all of course.

The fact is, I only went out with her once, which wasn't a date. So, a LJBF message even before a first date is pretty soon I assume.

What is the best way of dealing with this? And what should I txt her back?

I've responded with the following:

"I barely know you, so I cannot make that promise. I never put people in a box. But I can promise you we are not more than friends for now. Did you get other signals from me? Excuse me Anyway, I just bumped my head on the table while packing my stuff, grrrr....."

On which she responded:

"Hahaha, I hope it doesn't hurt that much. My txt message from this morning wasn't meant dreadful, I rather prevent vagenuess then to solve it later on. Anyway, have fun tonight and I'll see you next week."

So I guess this one is dead....

Well it may be a little too late now, but I was thinking something in the line of:

" Ahhhh, that's cute, you thought I was hitting on you ;). Well your not really my type and besides I don't date girls that I've slept with on the first night of meeting her ;) "

But anyhow, looks like it was solid in her mind that she wanted you as a friend from that point on. I'm not sure there was something to text back that could of changed that. Check your game before that to try to figure out out you ended up in the LJBF zone.

Thanks for your reply.

I can still txt something back like:

"Yeah, fine! I think it's cute you actually thought I was hitting on you. You're fun, no doubt about that, but it takes more to make my head spin! Haha CU"

But I doubt it will make any difference. I think I beter let this one rest and see if she changes her mind next time she sees me, with somebody else

I think you handled the situation quite well. I mean, you didn't "jump threw her hoop" you just said your own thing and are getting on with your own life. It might be an anti slut defense on her part, to make it feel like your the one making the moves on her.

I would let the text0ing go for now, and gauge how things go the next time your out "as friends" if you keep getting a vibe from her, then act on it. If not, it never hurts to have some female friends. Thats exactly what im looking for in the thread below yours lol.

Think about the situation. You played the role of "Friend" and got Friended it's what you asked for really. You had a girl in your bed and didn't even try to feel her up, kiss her or nothing. Then you tried to invite her to some boyfriend girlfriend type activity before even done anything sexual with her thats not good.

She sees you as lame scared dude now
Women like men who are gonna to take charge

all that cocky funny crap you're trying to do with text is pointless
People suggesting you hang out with her as friend will only add to your frustration
by pretending to be fine with just being her friend.
You've got to change your attitude get tough with some edge to you

Next time you have a girl in your bed you better try something or you'll end up in the same situation

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

I agree with theJ. That's the perfect response. Make her feel like she's conceited for thinking everyone is hitting on her. Then when you eliminate yourself as a potential boyfriend, you can take her out.
Maybe it's even possible to do the five questions bet that Syle (Neil Strauss) talks about.
You tell the girl that you want to make a bet with her. And I would suggest either a drink, or a dollar or something, usually something small.
The rules are you tell her to answer five questions, but she must lie on each one. If she accidentally tells the truth to any one of the questions, she owes you whatever you bet.
Start off with three simple questions, "What's my name?", "What street are we on?", "What color are your eyes?" But on the fourth question you stop and ask in a different tone of voice, "Shoot, was that 3 questions or 4?" Secretly this IS your fourth question and if they're helpful they'll answer correctly and you win, of course some girls are smart and they'll lie to you and say something like "Seven!! HAH I win!!" Afterwards you say, "Ah you got me. Have you played this game before?" And without-fail, they will always say "Nope!" That's your fifth question, and you win. If you can't catch them on generosity, you catch them on ego.
The goal here, in your case, is to possibly bet a romantic night out, or maybe something small like a kiss or something.
Have fun, good luck. Cheers from Portland

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Beware the wrath of a patient man.

Hey guys, thanks for the reply's.

@ Reo: I actually performed a lot of kino on her, touching anything but her private parts. We slept in spoon position. Probably it went wrong there. I mean, she allowed everything but she didn't initiate any kino activities herself. I think I should have punished her for that by going home before we went to sleep, by staying I've admitted my loss.

Anyway, she is only single for 4 weeks now, after a 18 month relationship. So probably I just met her at the wrong time and she doesn't want to jump into something new yet.

Unconsciously I subcommunicate interest in something for a longer term I guess. Which is not surprising since I'm not interested in one-nights at the moment.