There is this HB8 that goes to the same college as me. i met her my freshman year because we lived across from each other. she had a BF the whole year so i was hesitant to try to game her, but this summer she broke up with him and it seems like its for good...we'll the school year is starting in a week and im trying to get some from her.

We became somewhat friends but i do NOT believe i am in the dreaded 'friend zone' for a few reasons: i have made myself unavailable on occasion last year, i was never her shoulder to cry on, i was never told 'you are such a good friend' etc etc, and we never really hung out a whole bunch. most of the hanging out we did was go to lunch/dinner with a few of my friends and a few of hers throughout the year.

we also really didn't talk all summer (even after she broke up with her BF, she didnt cry to me about it --another reason why i think im not in the 'friend zone') and out of nowhere she IM'd me the other day saying "You get to see me soon" and i responded something C&F, and some other bs, and got out of the convo early so i could be the first to end it and it didnt get boring.

I need your guys' advice on how to go about this without getting into the friend zone, because i am probably close to being in it lol. i dont wanna just be her friend that she goes to eat with all the time haha.....BUT its hard to act 'unavailable' and say something like "I can't go to eat with you today, i'm busy" but then have her see me eating in the cafeteria with all my friends and her being like "WTF?" since i told her i was busy hahah.

so guys... how should i tackle this one without her LJBF'ing me??

oo ya..also wanted to add a couple good IOIs i got from her: she seems to get slightly touchy-feely with me sometimes and seems comfortable when we are close and touching etc.

and, last year i fucked her roomate/best friend and she was fucking PISSED! she gave me death stares and didnt talk to me for a few weeks....but then all the sudden she started talking to me again and didnt even question me, acting like it never happened....jealousy or what guys? i wasnt sure because, at the time, her roommate had a BF and i had a GF. and i thought she was pissed because we were both drunk and i got her to cheat on her BF with me. but i think its jealousy cause we started talking again so who knows?

Oh boy - it always breaks my heart to read posts like these because they can be so different and yet, so much the same.

Right off the bat I'd say if you've known each other for as long as you say, I wouldn't even bother with it. The way you made it sound it's almost as if you aren't even that close with this girl, which makes me wonder if half the attraction is in your head? Do you really want this girl? Do you really like her so much that you'd try after a year of waiting? But no so much that you were never there for her?

Just speculation.

Moving on, the simplest advice I can give is to be congruent. That's pretty vague, what do I mean by this?

Basically, if you SAY you are busy and you SAY you are unavailable, you should actually BE busy and BE unavailable. DON'T LISTEN to the guys who tell you to ACT cool and PRETEND you don't have time for her. ACTUALLY BE COOL and LIVE your life to the fullest. Examples of things you can do that take up your time pretty quickly:

- Hit up the gym 2-3 nights a week. Be dedicated to it and don't compromise.
- Go clubbing, attend BBQs, have parties, go to social events. Make sure your weekends are FILLED to the brim. Notice all those stupid "open invites" to parties on facebook? What would happen if you just showed up to them? Take your friends!
- Do crazy things that push your limits. Sign up for an improv class. Learn to fly a plane. Go skydiving. Just KEEP DOING things that surprise others but more importantly surprise yourself.

And while you're doing it, make sure you KEEP TELLING this chic about all your adventures, so she knows you're spontaneous, fun and exciting.

When you're with her - push the envelope. Generate sexual tension through your conversation. Kino is key. Pick her up over your shoulder. Playfully push her around. Grab her hand for 2-3 seconds and drop it. Always smile. You'd be amazed at how much attraction is based simply off of INSINUATING or even outright STATING that the girl is attracted to you.

Some of this may be jarring. Some of it will work. Some of it won't. Don't go blindly following everything I've said, you'll need to feel it out and calibrate to the appropriate situation and the girl. But most importantly, if you feel like doing a particular thing just isn't you - then that's probably a big indication that you need to do it. If you see yourself one way, chances are people see yourself that same way. If you are "close" to that friend-zone, you need to shock not only her, but yourself, out of it.

Let us know how it goes.

Q.

First of all, i want to say that that was a great post with what seems like a lot of helpful info, so thank you for that.

about the first part of your post....we are close -- meaning that i can call her up/text her/facebook her anytime and get a nice convo going with some flirting, and when we get back to school, i can get her to hang out with me easily. I just didnt want to make it seem like I was in the friend zone with no way out to everyone reading this.... only reason i've known her for so long and didnt make a move was because she had a BF and i was very hesitant to try something and have her get pissed at me cause she had a BF and i tried to get on her...also, she went home EVERY freaking weekend (not kidding) to see her BF so it was extremely hard for me to get her in a situation where i could game her and escalate it to the point where i could isolate her and make a move. The weekends at college are the best times to do this stuff with all the parties and activities, and she just wasnt around. the weekdays were very hard cause its all class/homework/bullshit lol.

also keep in mind that i didnt know about the whole PUA scene last year when i was becoming friends with her so i was kinda shy also. i just got into the PU scene this summer and let me tell you, i am excited to go back to school now because i see situations so differently now and i cant wait to try things out and be more out going this year. I've already had so much more fun this summer at parties and such trying these techniques out and learning from them.


Im hoping that she is around more often so i have a better chance, but at the same time, im going to just play her and if it doesnt work then f-it, i dont wanna get 'one-itis' shit going on with her and im gonna try to get on a bunch of girls as well, which will probably help me get her even more cause of a jealousy factor