Hello guys, long time since I've posted on here.. I decided to go it alone for a while and its made me a better person

Ok so im in this situation its like a love triangle. Let me explain.

I've recently started speaking to this girl i know a bit more and we've become closer and closer but she has a BF, although she is unhappy with him because she wants someone more mature i believe. We went to a house party a couple of weeks ago and we spoke a lot that night, had a bit of kino etc, and she left and started texting me telling me i'm the nicest person shes ever met and im amazing etc etc.. i thought nothing of it but i felt a strong connection with her. She also saw me making out with someone else that night.. but i thought she has a BF so its not me.

Anyway, a week went by of texting nice things to me and the 'your amazing' gab and we went out again at the weekend to a festivle with our friends, and we kinoed so much! Play fighting on the field etc etc.. her BF had left because he was in a mood before i had got there so she spent the night with me.. I left the festivle and i got a text from her.. i was expecting something like thanks for tonight or whatever, and it was "i really like you" so i was a bit confused, she told me she meant it and ever since that night she'd been thinking about me a lot..

To cut a long story short, i told her that if she was to finish her BF we'd give things time and make sure its right.. i told her this last week and she says im not going to denie i like you because i do.. but i dont want to come across as a bitch.. i told her to think about it and let me know.. a week has passed since then.. and we've been speaking.. by the way my ex girlfriend is one of her friends:/..

I've tried compliance tests and shes followed all of them.. im confused a bit right now..

Someone clear it up for me:D

I did something similar in college but wasn't as nearly as smooth and mature as you. We were basically about to make out and then I brought up her "boyfriend" topic. This is a dumb move. . . obviously. By doing this, I basically called her a two timing whore.

What you're doing is much smoother but you're still putting her on the spot. You don't need to verbalize everything. Even though both men and women regularly leave their partners for what they think to be "better" partners all the time, this isn't something people (especially girls) like to share with the World.

Essentially, you're asking her to verbally tell you, "I am the type of a girl who will just hop on to new and better cock any time I want to." When put in this position, and if given time to think about this situation logically, many girls will tend to, "Well . . . he is really a nice guy. I should try to make my relationship with him work . . ." (Basically . . . "no, I'm not a crazy slut who will just go out and find a better boyfriend just because my current boyfriend is boring.")

So don't take this chance. Our societal "rules" become less of a factor when you communicate to her on an emotional level. So don't just sit back there like some "gentleman" going, "it's all up to you . . ."

Instead, you step up to the plate and swing for the fences. What you go for at this point is more like: "These last few days hanging out with you has been incredible. I know that there are some issues here but . . . My God . . ." (And you just stick your tongue down her throat.) Let me know which way her "decision making" goes at this point.

Thats interesting kasabi, i mean shes like texting me saying that im so funny, etc etc, and at the end of texts she puts love you, or love you lots which i recently got. I mean she text me this morning at 3am to tell me she'd watched titanic lol, i mean IOI or what..

Thanks for your input kasabi..

I think this is kind of typical for girls... She is enjoying time with you and because you are kind of friend, you are harmless for her. So she is playing and trying to find a boundary. It's very good for her, because you pay her attention back which makes her feel more confident (doesn't she have a lack of confidence because of her BF?). So I think, that it's time for your move and you'll see what happens. You can't wait longer, because if she really wants you instead, it won't last forever. Much luck and let us know

Alright, generally I agree with the gentlemen above. It's time to pull the trigger. But that little quote right there is very interesting to me. She is comfortable with you. You give her attention, and you are a gentlemen and you don't make a move. You are giving her something for nothing. You said she is compliance testing, but are you making her qualify herself?

It seems to me like you are dangerously close to that terrible terrible zone... the LJBF zone. It is certainly time to pull the trigger, but my question then would be how? Maybe you should make her jealous by being with another girl? You said that she saw you making out at a party and still gave you IOIs, so I would say that jealousy works on her.

You seem, from the above post, however, to be a gentlemen. I have a feeling that the above approach would leave a bad taste in your mouth. I can understand, especially if you really like this girl and want an LTR with her. But my advice would be to DHV by showing her that you are a great guy, however you aren't going to waste everything you have to offer waiting on her. You have made it clear that you want to be with her, she knows what she needs to do if she wants to it, and now you need to give her a REAL time constraint. You can't just wait around for her to come to you at her convenience, on her terms. If you like one another that is a beautiful thing. However, why should she be getting all the perks of a relationship from her boyfriend while draining your energy via what you offer her with little return on that affection?

Just my thoughts, but it doesn't seem fair to me.

Best of luck, and as the others said let us know how it goes!

_________________
"As to the deceit perpetrated upon women, let it pass, for, when love is in the way, men and women as a general rule dupe each other."
-Giacomo Casanova

Very true johny.. couldn't agree more.. yeah i'd agree with the jealousy tactic.. and it wouldnt bother me and i guess it would prove that im not going to wait around.. shes constantly texting me.. but still with her BF which seems rather odd.. she needs to know im not going to wait around for her and i wont.. i would've pulled the trigger a long time ago but i believe if shes going to cheat on her BF now whats stopping her from cheating on me ya know?

Strong believer of that as i've had another girl who wanted and has cheated on her bf numerous times with me and i explained that to her.

but i guess thats life..

Thanks for your input lads.. nice summery.

Ok you guys asked me to keep you updated.. heres whats going on.

She was talking to me over msn the other night, she started the convo.. i was really really off with her.. because i knew i had to explain to her what is goin on in my head.. she asked if i was ok and i told her that i think we should just leave it because it was unfair of me to ask her to choose between her bf and me. She told me that she cares about me so much, shes not even known me long and we get on so well and she can tell me anything, its not her BF thats holding her back but my ex gf because she is good friends with her. She has thought about talking to my ex about this but she knows too well what she would say.. she would try to put her off me and be upset with her and apparently its sort of girl rules, which the same goes for guys really.. in my opinion she seems in two minds she wants to be with me but doesnt want to upset me ex.

I can see her point but I feel so gutted tbh but i know i will have to walk away from it or end up getting attached.

This is something that being a PUA will not help solve the problem.. its just one of them things.

Just want to tell that you should appreciate that she bears in mind your ex. How long has it been you have split up with her? Because, something very similar happened to me. I broke up with my ex after 6,5 years and she started dating one of my best friends (and also her very good friend) literally a few weeks after. That probably one of the worst things... Probably a bit off topic, but I think that if she talks to your ex, it might go ok for you... Much luck with

Cheers mate.. Urmm hasnt been that long really like i'd say end of April time.. i wasnt with her long, it didnt work out..

But my ex is a complete screw loose girl one of them whos not all there haha she simply goes out of her way to hurt me now adays which doesnt really bother me cause i never cared for her she only filled the gap i had in my life.. and HB has seen what my ex is really like and agrees with me.

Oh well i hope it works out if not theres plenty more out there

. . . You either pull the trigger or you don't.

Interestingly, when ever a guy pulls the trigger, he doesn't go, "Well, I did it because she's like this and that and this and that and blah, blah, blah, and we're perfect together because the stars are lined up, blah, blah . . ." He doesn't need to justify himself at all. You pull the trigger and you connect . . . period. Then you might think up a nice word or two later on . . .

However, when ever a guy tucks his tail between his legs, he seldom goes, "Well, I have no balls." . . . No, instead he goes, "Well, I've been in this relationship previously and it's too soon and my ex and her ex are weird and everybody's is in a situation and, blah, blah, blah. . . and that's why I can't pull the trigger now."

You're protecting you pride with all these lame excuses and talking her ear off with childish talk. Believe me, in just a few years, you will laugh your ass off about pulling the violin with all this melodrama when all you needed to do is grab her and kiss her.

Go get her or don't get her; this is all up to you. But no matter what you do, don't confuse yourself into thinking that this situation is complex. There is only one thing to ponder; do you do you not have balls? (I will freely admit that I was a total WUSS in college with that girl I mentioned with my initial response. What, do you think she married that guy? Do you think they shared a "meaningful relationship"? LOL . . . I'm laughing right now thinking about that night . . .)