I hit it off with this girl with a loser BF she was having problems with. I told her how I felt after hanging out a few times because I wanted it out there before she left for X-mas. We had no contact over the holidays because she was shocked by what I said according to her friends but liked it & said no one had told her those kinds of things. She got back in touch when she got back but still hadn’t broke up with her BF, although it is really on the rocks now according to her best friend who is in my corner.

What this girl did was give me was a clear path to follow. Basically said she didn’t know me well enough to pull the trigger & wanted to get to know me better which I think was a BS excuse to buy her some more time & still be with me, (which I called her on). She said she if her relationship ended “soon”(indicating it might) she wouldn’t be ready to jump into another one right away (which I said I didn’t expect her to) but that she thought we had a chance to be more if I am willing to be friends for a while & be patient we can see where it took us.

I tried to flip the script on her immediately & told her I agreed that we needed to be just friends right now & that in the month away not hearing anything I had to move on & wasn’t sure if I really wanted to be more at this point. That was a total lie, & it’s possible she saw through it with a couple of times I have got weak around her, still we have went out twice since & for the most part though I have treated her just like a buddy: no kino, no flirting, etc.

What we have build was great comfort & rapport & I know the attraction is still there just by the way she looks at me. I did do a few tricks subcontiounsly like left eye gaze of which I noticed a really turned her on. Also the one time I did make a point to touch her on the shoulder she lit up like a X-mas tree smiling.

Comfort has been built again, you guys think I should play by her game a bit longer as friends a couple more “friend dates”, or go in for the kill now & give her something to think about, at the risk of blowing it up. I think at this point I will let her call me, & be aloof, take her to a bar as friends in a friend group & hit on other girls (you think that’s smart? She is kinda insecure) a bit then try to dial it up with her & try to put some moves on. Ground it with something like “what are you doing to me, you are to sexy”, or should I wait a bit more?

Dave, let me be frank here...I want to present you with the options you have right now from a seducer's point of view:

- She's in a relationship now, she doesn't wants to be in one directly afterwards, she wants to be friends first when this relationship is over and "see what happens"

Do you value yourself so low that you need to WAIT for any girl to come out of a relationship, only to know she want be IN one with you afterwards and blabla = do you accept being a second choice over her current bf and wait for MONTHS, at the mercy of whether or not she'll break up, let your lovelife be decided by HER while YOU are it's master?

OR, instead...

- Do you take ACTION, TAKE what you want...give her PROOF of what happens (she wants to see remember + all the physical signals you saw), if she decides to break up with her bf for you? Great, you're the man! If she doesn't? You had her, but can move on knowing that waiting for her would have been useless...

Let me tell you something: the "right thing to do" often is the WORST thing for your own, personal lovelife...why should you let someone else decide how much love you're gonna get? Take what you want and/or move on...or risk waiting in vain for all those months just like I did many, many times. Trying the "lets be friends first" thing. Do you know how many times it ended up with being in a relationship for me? NONE.

All her resistance is...is DOUBT, she needs convincing. Wait and have a more than 50% chance of being ridiculed because you were too much of a wussy to make a bold move and prove your affection, or take action.

Women WANT you to make that final bold move - in the end it all comes to do the social programming that men are the hunters and women are the caretakers, we're programmed to hunt them..so do it.

I agree, & I think if I played by her game any more I'll be pretty miserable so I was leaning hard for just going for it even if it does blow it up. I did want to show her I could play by her rules & let her win that one a little, but also re-frame it as I really don't care at this point after a month away. Even though I think we can both sniff through each others BS, I think that was mostly achieved. Plus I think we needed a little time to get the comfort back after a month away.

I've still been out talking to other girls other nights so I got back ups. I also made a point one night when I was out with her to talk to some girls at the bar so she could get that image, plus I go out in my friend circle with her best friend who is smoking hot(for social proof) & have been talking to a lot of girls which I assume & hope gets back to her, so the stage has been set. I guess I'm just trying to get a game plan to go for it.
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Game Plan
-Our last time out (which I set up) really went well. Right now I think even if it sucks I'm not going to call her, because I think she will eventually call me. Even if that takes a couple weeks. That will also let me reset my frame & come back with a different frame than the nice guy one I was in.

-I'm certainly going to try to kino at every chance I get & have a couple routines already thought of for her & also tease her about how great it is to have a hot friend I don't have to worry about hitting on me, so hopefully that will cause her to seek some validation.

-I'm going to try every thing I can to get a kiss, & then when I do blame it on her for being so sexy, since us going out was on agreed friends terms even if I suspect neither of us really feel like that. Try to frame it as just something that happened.
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That's my plan. Anyone got any other suggestions or critics?