Hey Guys,
Im a psychology student and for a while now ive been working on my inner game and just overall improvement. So far ive been looking at a lot of buddist mindfullness and realistic positive psychology as I found a lot of the stuff out there (not all of it) in the PUA community egotistical and just plain arrogant, which isn't what I want to be.

At the moment im reading "Authentic Happiness by Martin E.P. Seligman" which looks at improving your strengths in order to gain happiness and confidence. Im finding this a good read and would recommend it. Im also reading rules of the game, and expanding on a lot of the ideas for my own benefit.

My confidence has increased dramatically, and I find breathing meditation calms me before going out and makes me increasingly happy and extroverted.

I have fixed my back posture with physio and the gym and ive picked up some good body language techniques to show confidence. Ive also been working on my tone of voice and will be getting voice coaching in January.

My next question is, how do I come across as being assertive but not arrogant? Ive always had a problem with dealing with stressful situations, I don't tend to take them seriously. Basically always when I go out, as I tend to go out with a group of girls, I got hardcore amoged and sometimes into punch ups, which I would rather avoid. Its not the punch ups that worry me so much, its more the fact that I don't want it to reflect badly on what my friends (girls with me) think of me. And I don't like getting into fights around girls, as its stressful and tends to ruin your night.

It doesn't help that until recently I was a total smart arse back. Without coming across as a dick, I am quick witted. So when I would show guys up with words they would resort to fists. Pretty standard response.

So I thought about trying to talk them down, mainly using body language, calm voice ect (like ive learnt working in bars). But its hard to do this without coming across as a complete pussy. At the same time I don't want to look like im freightened of the douche bags.

So my questions are: How do the serious PUA "alpha males" respond to this sort of situation? Does anyone have some suggested reading material?

Cheers,

Homewrecker

"Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence;
supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting." - Sun Tzu

that's one of my favourite quotes.

befriend/disarm the guys who are fucking with you.
they are like the HB's ugly little obstacle friend.
so tone down the wit a bit and be nice to the guys. guys dont get into fights with people they like.
it's important to keep in mind that guys dont like looking bad in front of girls, so your wit etc will piss them off
if the guy is still being a dick, simply excuse yourself from the group and open another set. easy.

Its simple as this, you are our own. Mystery for example is extremely indirect yet probably the most successful out their. That is irrelevant, that is not for you, you have to be your self or you won't get any one. So with your mind set (like mine) direct is your main approach. I will only use indirect and tech's like neging on strangers who look like 8-10's.

You just need to be a good guy, if you need action start testing your day game its very simple, when is your next day off? well when ever it is go to a busy/social place. Look at the time of the month. Xmas shopping is a great excuse to approach a girl for day game. Just ask for advice, say you're buying a gift for your mom or sister or who ever. That is your open, from their own its up to you. If you can hold an interesting conversation for 3-4 minutes you should be able to time bridge to a date or get a #. Do this over and over an imagine how many prospects you have, you could potentially have 10 girls to call by the next week end for a date and just follow through with who ever is most interesting, and interested in you from your intuition.

regarding assertiveness I like this I just read on wikipedia.

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Assertiveness is a trait linked to self-esteem and considered an important communication skill.
As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries; their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to harm or otherwise unduly influence them. They are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. They are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions.
An assertive style of behavior is to interact with people while standing up for your rights. Being assertive is to one's benefit most of the time but it does not mean that one always gets what he/she wants. The result of being assertive is that
you feel good about yourself
other people know how to deal with you and there is nothing vague about dealing with you.

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The way I think about assertiveness and arrogance is I have my views and my values. I don't claim that they are any sort of truth or better than anyone elses values. But they are my values, my views and I live by them. Sometimes I do come accross as arrogant. Better than sometimes coming accross as a wuss

Interesting, thanks for this guys. I guess the best way to approach would be to charm the hell out of the guys and then go for the girls when I have been verified by the group.

But I still get problems, of guys approaching me when im with a group of girls and trying to exert their dominance. How do you guys deal with this? Could it be that I look overconfident and come across as agressive? Im generally fairly relaxed and having a good time.

I really liked the quote by the way hxc87x!