I texted a girl I work with earlier. I gave her some pretty easy jobs to do at work today and she said in a text, "Making you a cup of tea was an ace job! You can give me that job again anytime!" So I said, "Damn right! You can be my slave... I mean secretary. Just don't tell anyone, they'll get jealous!"

She responded, "Sounds good to me. What do I get in return?"

What should I respond to that with? I OBVIOUSLY don't want to tell her the truth and say, "I'll fuck your brains out!" haha. Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!

how about "Well if you continue doing a good job then MAYBE ill take you out for a drink someday after work when im not too busy"

Why is this obvious? I'd actually say something along these lines. Maybe a little more on the suggestive/innuendo side, but yeah. Why are you eliminating this option so quickly?

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Yes. Yes you do.

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Your momma's so fat when she walked past the TV she was going to the kitchen to get cake 'cos she's fat.

"I don't have to give you anything, but if you behave, I'll give you a treat."

Wow. You guys need some lessons in flirting. She's flirting with you and all you have to do is tease her a little bit. Hint at the fact that you want to fuck her brains out, but don't say it outright. Don't be boring though and say something like asking her to have a drink with you because that's not going to excite her and your goal is to excite her and get her juices going. Make some suggestive comments using innuendo and mystery.
"You get to wear a little french maid outfit "

Not too much, but not too little. Doesn't say anything that you can't just smile away mischeviously and say that your excuse is that you're encouragable. Yet at the same time, you both know exactly what you're communicating and if the next time you see her you give her that knowing little smile, now she's got something to think about. Something that if she's interested, will start having her think about her being sexy for you and if she's into you that will slowly grow in her head.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

What else do you say in person? I had this asked and I fucked up and just laughed at her.

You can accuse her of trying to seduce you...maybe:
Maybe you are acustomed to be that direct with a man that you like but don't you think it's a little to soon to think about sex? ( ha ga..to do that you must not care if you win or you lose..it's all experience..)

That's basically telling her to stop and making her feel bad for expressing interest in you. It's a little counter productive and not flirting because it isn't fun and playful, or invite more.

You want to say something that on the surface sounds innnocent, but can also be taken as something hinting at more. If you are in person, you have the added benefit of voice tonality and body language to express this. You could say something as innocent as, "I'll let you sharpen my pencils" but by wearing a mischevious smile and looking at her from a bit of an angle (you know how girls do when they're flirting with you) and saying it deliberately instead of just casually, you can insinuate something a whole lot more. Now she's thinking about doing sexual things with you and all you did was mention office supplies.

The key though is not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it!

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Hey Lee thanks....I learned something too...

If you're interested in learning more about the art of flirting, you should consider my Advanced Concepts Workshop: The Art of Flirting. It's an entire weekend focused on learning how to tell when a girl is flirting with you and how to flirt back effectively and powerfully.

This isn't just a simple class where I stand there and talk to you guys and tell you what works and then we go out to the club afterwards. This is an intense weekend that I bring along one of my female coaching assistants to and demonstrate for you LIVE and in person, exactly how to see the signs of when a girl is showing interest and then how to convey it back in a fun, playful and exciting manner!

During the workshop I cover practical uses of body language, voice tonality, how to entice a girl into kissing you, how to go about initiating sex and a lot of other things. Again, I don't just draw little diagrams on a flip-chart, show pictures of the girls I've been with and then tell you how it went down, or anything like that; I SHOW you step-by-step exactly how to go about the process of attracting and seducing a real woman, with you sitting less than 10 feet away. There won't be any graphic sexual content, but I'll teach you just how to get that for yourself!

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I think the best advice you can get here just came from Lee. The pencil, being a phalic object, will project mental images for her. I wish I could attend one of those seminars... Maybe someday.