I have been talking to this HB 9 for the past couple weeks. When ever we meet up it's nothing but constant flirting/kissing (PDA). She lost her cell phone so we can't talk to each other so we do most of her talking on facebook. She invites me to hang out with her once or twice a week, but it's always to go partying. She has slept over my place twice although nothing happen. The first time she said "Why aren't you kissing me?" I replied, "You have to spit more game than that. Anyways I am different than most guys. You are just used to having guys all over you" She agreed with me. She goes so hot from the party to so cold in bed. She just didn't seem to be into the sex thing because she was tired and she has only had sex with three guys (she always tells me this) - You know when you can just feel like she's not into it at that moment. I know this girl really likes me. I mean she ditched her friends to stay over with me ("I want to stay over with you."), but in a flash it goes from sexy time to sleepy time. Her friends have told me and so has she, but she doesn't go out of her way to chill and flakes out a lot and changes meet up times till later. I don't know if she is playing games with me and this is the first girl that has confused the shit out of me. She left her scarf and camera in my room for god sakes.... wtf. So here are my questions....

1) How do I get her to hangout with me more, w/o seeming clingy?
2) Next time she sleeps over what is a good F-Close technique I can do? (something that can escalate the horniness vibe)

I want to address question #2 first. I know she's hot and all but so what? Do you really want a girl this flakey and weird about this stuff to be someone to you sleep with and try to start a relationship with? What will it be like a few months from now? Do you think sleeping with her is really going to make thigns better?

I'm not saying you can't sleep with her. I'm just trying to get you to stop and think if you should.

To get her in bed since she's hot and heavy at these parties and turned on by PDA obviously escalate it right there. I've done some crazy stuff in front of crowds of people. Keep escalating it until she tells you to stop. Let me repeat that, "Until she tells you to stop" if she doesn't keep it going. Bring a condom!

Going back to question #1. Based on her behaviour and yours you could try a freeze out to help with that. Since she doesn't have a phone I'm not sure if it'll be as effective though. Cut off communication for a while and see how she responds to you.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

She's waiting for YOU to escalate matters. It's your JOB. What more could you need from this girl? She's giving you massive social proof, IOI's all over the place, free and easy EXTRACTION. This girl is confused about why you aren't manning up and taking her.

Girls want to feel like seduction just happened, like they had no control over it. Girls do NOT want to be an active participant in the process. The next time you both hang out together keep things sexual and playful like the above poster mentioned but build sexual tension as well. "Just wait until I get you alone tonight" with a cocky smile. Make her start thinking about it. Say something that predicts how the night is going to go sexually, during these moments of PDA and she WILL respond. It's not too late

"You have to spit more game than that. Anyways I am different than most guys. You are just used to having guys all over you"

You should have stopped after the first statement, everything after that sounds like you're bitter.

She goes so hot from the party to so cold in bed. She just didn't seem to be into the sex thing because she was tired and she has only had sex with three guys (she always tells me this) - You know when you can just feel like she's not into it at that moment.

Having sex with only 3 guys has no baring on what is going on with the 2 of you, she is using it as an excuse to not have sex. Ask yourself what you may be doing to kill her IL.

she doesn't go out of her way to chill and flakes out a lot and changes meet up times till later. I don't know if she is playing games with me and this is the first girl that has confused the shit out of me.

It sounds like she enjoys keeping you baited (Baited = keeps you hooked on her (like a fish) by wondering what she will do next or if she will give you any). Girls are notorious for this, it makes them feel 'wanted' and provides them with the attention they need.

If you want to increase her horniness, switch the dynamic and keep HER confused. If she wants to hang out, turn her down, say you are busy. Act uninterested, bored. Hang out with other women and make sure she knows you are. Let her think she has competition, this will really stir things up.

Competition, Insecurity and Attention...these are a woman's Achilles Heel. Learn how to work these weaknesses and your success with women will sky rocket.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

One of those guys that takes her down when she gets in bed with him?
good line if you were to have used that in a club. She was in your bed and you basically implied that you were not down for her. If you were to have kept getting down with her and escalated it to go for sex it would have been better. That way if she'd blocked you again you could have done the ol' Strauss email check routine.
Make sure she's not starting to believe that you're her little buddy that she can gossip with and cuddle up to at night.

I say freeze her out. Either plan to get together with her and cancel last minute, act like a dick around her next time, or just ignore her for a week entirely.

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www.gettingyourgirl.com

Thanks everyone... that really helped with the whole escalating advice - classy. You guys all gave great advice. I hung-out with her at my place last night and after we started getting steamy on the dance floor I took her to my bed. She was basically screaming for sex once I started caressing her. I guess she was just waiting for me to make the move. I think the reason why she went from so hot to cold previously because some of my friends and her friends at my parties would always barge in. The whole acting tooo busy stuff really worked, which I was doing before this post. The freezing out just gave her an excuse to go to bed those nights before because she was too tired like I said. I feel like the only right time to freeze girls out is when you can't escalate up the bases towards home plate.

I completly agree with this guy. when you have her in your bed this is the best time to escalate and kissing is like the first part. if she seems like she's cold its cuz you have to make her hott (in this case again) before you can actually Fclose

really its a simple rule of pick up Isolate and escalate kissing the best way to escalate. that is why you try to do it before you Isolate because once you have kissed her already she knows once she is in your bed (isolated) she will be kissing you again this is why she asked that question. what she was really saying why are you not fucking me right now

We try Perhaps you have low self esteem. Either that or you are talking about a different thing entirely.

Women are highly jealous and competitive when it comes to men. I know because I have female friends that have told me, and I have seen it personally in action. When we are talking about competition and pre-selection, we do not necessarily mean making out with, or picking up a girl right in front of you. If we did then that would indicate that we are either unavailable, or a womanizer.

The idea is when women see other women interested in a guy, they have automatic switches go off in their heads 'this guy must be high value!' and want to see what the commotion is about. For example, I try to go clubbing with female friends as much as possible, and when I do I always sit in a laid back spot, with girls on either side of me and having a good time. When I do this as apposed to when I'm out with the guys, I have women eying me as they walk by, begging to be picked up. I get approached all the time and hit on by girls. You possibly may give up and not approach this guy surrounded by women, but subconsciously you will be more attracted to him because he has been qualified by the attraction of the other females.

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There are no failures, only feedback.

that was what i was referring to. makes sense though, seeing a guy in high value. we are influenced by what other people think (girls especially, i'm afraid) and if a lot of girls think a guy is attractive, they'd want to know why.

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the place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum...

Q: Is it over? If not, what are some routines, lines, texts, or anything that you could think of that will get me back on the podium with this bird. This is really dragging me down (FUCK ONEITIS - never again). I will be so thankful... seriously.

I am really into this same HB9 that I was hooking up with heavily before break. We hung out all the time. In fact, the last thing she said to me after a kiss was “I am going to miss you.” The two of us departed away from college and back to our hometowns after that.

So I come back to school and run into her a few times…

1) The first time she is with her best friend in the dining hall. I know she sees me. I think I saw her walk faster at this point and I think she told her gf “OMG move fast.” I eventually catch her attention when she passes me later and her eyes blew up like a deer in headlights (surprised as shit). She came in awkward even though I wasn't.
2) A day later or so she sees me in the street and hugs me because she acknowledged that I noticed her. She says that she wants to hangout. We make loose plans to go clubbing. I got sick, so I told her that the only thing I was drinking that night was soup.
3) We have a lot of mutual friends. I run into her gf at the dining hall and start a casual conversation with her and the other girls that I was chilling with. She tells me that HB9 is going to show up. I notice that HB9 comes to meet her gf and she was directly standing FUCKING behind me w/o saying a word. A little later I make an effort to hug her when I see her getting a drink. I invite her to a party that I was throwing. She actually said “Don’t throw it Saturday, throw it Friday. I told her that was the plan. The day before the party I text her drunk out of my mind - “which you doin?”, but she NEVER RESPONDED. She accepted the invitation on facebook, but never showed up.
4) I saw her outside. I was on my cell phone and I saw her out of the corner of my eye. This time I didn’t want to initiate the conversation. I wanted to see what she would have done. She completely passes me without saying a word. WTF!

You have to understand. This girl was really into me! I don’t understand how she could just drop all those feelings and act so cold and distant towards me.

Reasons why this might be…?
1) I had several chances to fuck her, but I didn’t because I either wanted to be social at a party of mine, I had whisky dick, or because she passed out (AKA I was a big fat pussy). In the back of my mind I didn’t want to act easy because I didn’t want to seem like most guys (I know - stupid). SHE EVEN TOLD ME THAT SHE WANTED TO FUCK ME - I made some excuse and left the room because I knew I had that whisky dick and she’s not the girl that would suck your dick. I guess I treated her almost like a gf instead of a fuck buddy, which I’m guessing she wasn’t feeling. She has had sex with only 3 guys and she wanted me to be her 4th.
2) She might not want to start anything serious because she is going away from college next semester for work.
3) I am guessing her friends persuaded her just to have a good time, while they could. Those girls are the type of girls that love to party and never get tied up because they are obsessed with one another. I know my oneitis would always choose her gf’s over any guy.

So one of my best girl friends found out the deal btw. HB9 and I. Apparently she came back from break and had sex with this jacked ass football player. She also told my friend that she still has feelings for me, but she is not going to hook up with more than one person at once. I heard she was asked out by the football player, but turned him down because she wasn't down for a relationship.

I was thinking of hanging out with other girls at a party and making her a little jealous. I am just afraid I won't be able to find anyone hotter than her. I am not 100% sure she will be at this party.

I need someone to give me some detailed answers on how to proceed and some things I can say (text, facebook, phone, in person.... w.e). I will give all the points I have and no doubt give you my full respect if anyone can help me get this girl to choose me over this jacked football player. FUCK those football players. I can't even tell you guys how much I would appreciate it. I am loosing it.

yo, dude, you're pretty good at self analysing, so you know where you went wrong before, you pussied out when she wanted to fuck you (but everything else you seem to have done ok- cause she said she still likes you) only problem is she fucked the jock (assuming AMOG who she went to cause she knew he would definitely be all about that).

All i can say is go a bit 'raw' next time you're alone and flirting, give her the Alpha male she wants at the right moment, tell her you'll "give her the fuck of her life", don't drink too much and deliver.

Otherwise cut her off and demonise her so you don't like her anymore.

then you'll be fine. L

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-Thanks, Banks-