one of my sticking points is lack of experience (for the last five years or so, I have sex like on the average less than 10 times a year)...so you can guess I am a bit rough when it comes to sex..

so I was wondering while I am improving in my other game area, how can i improve my sexual confidence?...one thing I was considering was maybe buying a fleshlight and practice using it... it sounds a bit lame, but I just wanted to know if any of you have used it and if you recommend it as a "training" tool while you are in a dry spell...

I mean, girls even who are in a relationship use dildos... what makes it so "unmanly" to use a fleshlight?...but I feel like a loser just thinking about ordering one....

Hi LadyAholic!

I haven't got any experience of the fleshlight but we buyed one to a buddy and he used it. He said that it wasn't much more exciting than jerking of. And i don't think you will learn anything more from a fleshlight then from "rolling skin" like we call it here in Sweden . The thing you can learn by own hand is to control your orgasm by stopping at the right time and train the muscle (don't know what its called in English), but the one that can stop you from peeing when your on the toilet. You need to practice the other part with a women. Its about teamwork.

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20 year old boy from Sweden.. Yes there are a lot of beautiful women here. A perfect place for a pick-up artist .

If you're buying a fleshlight to increase your sexual pleasure whilst wanking, then by all means pick one up. I can't personally recommend them because I don't own one, but I've heard good things.

If you're getting one to gain sexual experience, don't. You can practice not orgasming for a while with just your hand. And a woman's body has way more sensitive and important parts than just the vajayjay, and you've gotta know how to work those. Fleshlight won't help you there.

For the purposes you are interested in it is a waste of money. It won't increase your sexual abilities in the least.

Learn how to control your kegel muscles by stopping for about 30 seconds and then starting up again while you're taking a piss; you can do the same muscle training while you're sitting at your computer, driving, in class, whatever. You should also look into various other means of holding off your orgasms and practicing masturbating for several hours at a time without ejaculating.

Aside from that you just need to look into female sexual anatomy and find out what girls like. David Shade has some good stuff on that topic, but there's tons of material out there by many many different authors that are both male and female. Read My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday for a look into the female sexual mind. Also, realise that the thing that makes sex amazing isn't the fucking, it's the foreplay and all the other stuff that you do during sex aside from sticking your dick in her. Kissing, touching, making sounds, smelling each other, eye contact and all those other things are what truly make it amazing.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks a lot guys!
Based from one of your suggestions and what I read, the kegel exercises and holding off exercise while masturbating for a long time seem to be the way to go. I will start doing them right away:-).