This is mostly a self-reflective post. I figured I might as well get some feedback from the community.

I took a look at myself today, and I questioned who I am. I questioned what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong - what I can improve on. Here's what I came up with:


What I'm Doing Rightt

• *The top thing is I've improved so much. I started out at the bottom of a pit as an obese high school computer nerd who had an autistic condition. Now I'm comfortable talking to people, I'm an athlete, I smile, I laugh, I make others laugh, and I have so many passions besides sitting alone at the computer I know discipline and how to improve myself, and I'm very determined to do so.

• *I have balance. I'm not a pushover, but I'm also not an asshole. I have a heavy conscious and when I do something asshole-ish I feel guilt and embarrassment and learn from my mistakes. I've done some of this stuff in the past, but I've learned.

• *I have a sense of humor. I'll always be able to make a girl (or anyone for that matter) smile or laugh when I'm talking to her. I'm good at lightly teasing someone and I know how to use sarcasm very well.

• *I have passions. Music, my studies, and my sport are the three ones that take up my life right now, and I have big aspirations for all three of them. I'm hoping to add a beautiful and awesome girl as that 4th passion, though, hence why I'm here. I'm very confident in all three of these things and I never let anyone bring be down in them.

• *And lastly, I'm looking pretty good these days. That's always a plus.

• *I don't get obsessed. My first crush ever I had an unhealthy obsession for, and being rejected by her taught me to avoid one-itis. I can take rejection easily now.

Things I Can Improve On

• *Assumptions about society and women. I find myself thinking some skeptical and unrealistic thoughts and sometimes become frustrated. My mind is a war zone that is frequently undergoing fighting about what to believe. This derives from some past mental problems I've had.

• *Depression. It comes and goes, but when it comes I'm not in my right frame of mind and I become very unhappy. The source of this depression definitely has to do with women.

• *This goes along with the first one, but the belief that women don't want me, despite all I have going for me. I really haven't gotten to communicate with girls much, so I've always believed they don't think about guys much nor do they care for them.

• *Flirting. Plain and simple, I'm oblivious to flirting. I think anything a girl does is just a friendly gesture. I'm also reluctant to flirt myself. I said that I'm good at teasing and humor, but when I talk to a girl, it's like I'm talking to a guy. I won't say anything that's even close to suggesting attraction or anything sexual. For example, I've never commented on ANYTHING about a girl's appearance, or anything positive about her for that matter.

Well, there you go. I'm not an AFC, but I have some things that an AFC still has. I know what an AFC is. For example, one time in my dorm last year, these girls next to me were having a birthday party. I decided to take a break from whatever I was doing and go check it out. What I saw was pathetic. 3 girls in the middle of the room dancing and having fun while 7 guys were standing around them watching. Now and then a guy or two would try to break in but the girls broke away from them fast. The girls eventually went out for a walk and left the guys alone. They were whining and complaining how the girls weren't giving them a chance. I told myself, "Yeahhh...this is pathetic, I'm outta here. I went back to playing guitar or doing whatever, while those 7 chumps were in the room next to me pissed off as hell. Those are AFC's, and that's an example how I was clearly distinguished from them, but sometimes I might be kinda hard and down on myself for not having success with girls. I'm looking to improve on that, and am all ears for suggestions on how to improve that.[/list]