Destroying this goddamn AFC!!!!!!



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:06 pm 
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Hey guys, I'm not new to this stuff, but I'm still having a ton of trouble destroying some AFC habits I have. I have begun to reform my life, taking leadership positions and getting out there and doing things in the world, but these goddamn traits won't go away. Perfect example: We had a date party in the fraternity I'm in and I totally AFCed and asked this girl to it in stereotypical AFC manner which came off so bad so not Alpha Male. Furthermore, once she showed up for it, I was the absolute AFC and got all nervous and choked up real bad. Ideas for calming my goddamn nerves? I need to shake this stuff soon because I'm seeing how it affects my life and makes things more difficult than it really is. I have no idea what the hell my problem is. Maybe confidence? Maybe something else? Peace, boys, happy gaming.

catalyst


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:22 pm 
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I started with using just canned material. Had all my openers and negs and stuff pre-planned out. I opened up with my planned opener following with a DHV. Once i realized how easy it was to talk to her after this i just became myself, and if the conversation ever died down, i'd just go back to my canned material.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 2:47 pm 
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Canned definitely helps; well socialized people all use it. Some consciously, others not, but they all do it. So join the conscious group ;-)

That being said... as much as I hate to sound patronizing (my sincerest apologies, I hope you don't take this the wrong way), this will be a long and difficult journey. A very clever person (can't remember who, maybe a quote junkie will help me give credit) once said that confidence comes from comfort, and comfort comes from repetition. If you freeze up around beautiful women - man, I honestly feel your pain, but trust me - talk to enough women and there will come a time when you'll notice it ain't all that difficult. Put yourself into these situations as often as you can and don't let the initial failures discourage you. Believe me, with persistence, the nervousness will go away and you'll start feeling more and more comfortable approaching and talking to women. Just keep at it and invest time. As my mentor says 'unless you have worked a thousand sets, you do not know shit'.

And seriously, don't worry about the whole 'alpha-not alpha' thing. First, it sounds really really gay, second - how can you expect decent results when the back of your head is constantly going 'oh boy, was I alpha enough just now?'.

I'm gonna take a leap of faith here, and do correct me if I'm wrong - when you're around a girl, do you have this voice in the back of your head telling you that you should be doing something? That voice that says 'I should approach her, open and demonstrate value'? My advice is - ignore that voice. I had it and most of the guys I've taught say the same thing 'a PUA should do this, a PUA should do that...' Seriously, that voice is one hell of a whiny bitch. It makes pickup feel like work, when it should be fun. Take a chill pill and enjoy the process :D Everyone I know who got somewhere in pickup has fun while doing it. All the others become quitters.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:40 pm 
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i gotcha with ignoring that little voice and "that just wasn't alpha enough..." does sound pretty gay. I guess I should come up with a different phrase for that because that's not exactly what i mean. I guess what im really talking about is a personality that demands a DHV spike. That's all. Thanks forr help
and tough love dude. Appreciate it.
Much Love,

catalyst


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:28 pm 
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I'll echo what aceofspades is saying. Don't concentrate on what you don't want because that's what you'll get. It's like going up to bat and saying "don't strike out! don't strike out!" It just doesn't work that way. Put your energy and thoughts into what you want. Frame it Saying yes I'm the alpha, girls look to me.. so on and so forth

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:12 pm 
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Frame Frame Frame. The striking out analogy works perfectly, if you expect a bad result and are in that mental state guess whats going to happen? Your going to slice air three times and go back to warming some wood. But if you confidently know that you are the shit, other people will notice. And yeah they might think "Oh Hes so self absorbed and cocky" but when you don't let that attitude falter they start to believe it, and when they believe it you'll believe it. Never underestimate the power of positive thought.


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